


Love me and take my money

by butcher_blues



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Age Swap, Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Depressed Victor Nikiforov, Established Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Family Drama, Fluff, M/M, Model Victor Nikiforov, Mutual Pining, Pining Victor Nikiforov, Possessive Behavior, Romantic Fluff, Sexual Content, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-03-24 08:29:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 100,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13807407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butcher_blues/pseuds/butcher_blues
Summary: "A daddy complex." Yuuri added with a mischievous wink.Oh.."Daddy? Like.. A rich older man.. A sugar daddy?" Victor asked with shaky voice. His mouth went dry, and his hand nervously reached for a glass of water to wet his burning throat.Yuuri took a sip of his wine and shook his head. "I'm not a very old man.. I mean I'm only twenty seven. But sure I'm very rich.""Wait! You want to be..my..my.. " He stopped to pour the drink down his aching throat..Yuuri smirked. "Be my baby boy, Victor. "And Victor chocked.******Sugar daddy Yuuri who wants to buy the world for his baby boy Victor au(Title loosely based on that Shut up and take my money meme, but instead. it's Yuuri buying Victor's love)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We need a daddy Yuuri and a spoiled Victor, okay??????????
> 
> English isn't my first language, forgive me for the mistakes which are plenty. I'm trying my best

Victor is bored and grumpy. The hustle and bustle of his surroundings is giving him a headache. He tries to stand the chaotic atmosphere of the studio, the flowing energy of the workers, the loud noise of given instructions. His head will explode to shreds soon. 

Victor isn't enjoying this photoshoot. The day is too long, and the stylists and make up artists are getting on his nerves, growing his irritation more and more. He has known since the morning that today isn't his day. 

He woke up that morning, barely able to open his eyes. His body had no energy to move out of the bed, he wanted to remain sheltered inside the comfy soft sheets, away from the outer world. His gloomy mood even increased ten folds when his eyes landed on the cold empty space next to him, sending a freeze through his body despite the covers and the warm rays of sunshine leaking from the window. 

He had to get out of the bed after he was reminded of his cruel loneliness. And he was already late for his work but it was fine. They would wait for him without a word of complaining. He never cared about how they looked at him and whispered about him having it easy. 

What made things more tolerable for him when he arrived the studio was his usual lovely one hundred roses waiting for him with an affectionate card written on it 'I miss you'. Victor usually recieves one hundred flowers everyday, and everytime he sees them his mood turns gleeful just by thinking about the sender. The sender who is showering him with pretty toses, dewy sunflowers, tender orchids, blooming lilies, and various beauties of flowers.

But as the day progressed the effect of the affectionate roses vanished, and is replacesd with weary irritation. 

And now Victor feels guilty for whining to his make up artist. She puts the finishing touches on his face as he rushes her. "Patience Victor, I'm almost finished. Your delicate skin shouldn't be half assed, it needs precise attention."

"Mila enough. You have done more than enough, get off me."

He frees himself from her hold and leaves to head to Sara the photographer whose eyes gleam on seeing Victor. "Oh Victor you are ready! Can you lean against this wall for me? Oh Perfect perfect you look stunning like this. God I could eat you. You look so delectable." Victor knows she's right. This season is all about the frenzy of crop tops and chokers, and these are definitely Victor's things. 

She takes hold of the camera getting ready. "Now you know better than me on posing, give me those sassy sexy pretty looks of yours, Victor." And Victor complies. 

Victor cocks his head to the side, smirking confidently. He bites his lower lip on suggestion. He leans his head back with chin up revealing his long tempting neck ornamented with the detailed choker. He bats his eyelashes sweetly. His eyes dance in mischief as he bites his finger seductively. The various expressions and poses he can pull in one minute is fascinating, the transition from sexy to beautiful to innocent to sexy again is too smooth, too fast. And Sara can't stop taking countless number of pictures, trying to capture every expression in a masterful frame while constantly praising and encouraging him.

Victor is too immersed in posing when he overhears someone saying "The CEO is here" and his heart flutters in his chest. His eyes are fast to scan all over the many faces around him, in desperate search for his man. God he misses him so much!

"Victor sweety please focus with me. You have lost your concentration." Sara pleads to him, but after few minutes of trying to regain his focus Victor's eyes finally catch him.

His CEO. Yuuri Katsuki. 

He is standing with one of the directors, crossing his arms around his chest, listening attentively to his companion. And as usual he's radiating his calm intimidating aura. His look is more casual than his usual stylish suits, he looks ravishing in just a simple black button down tucked in white slacks. With his hair slicked back and his nerdy glasses. How can he look this handsome and this fit in a simple outfit like this. Victor's mouth waters at the sight of his pulled up sleeves exposing his strong muscular forearms. 

There's no way he can continue like this. "Let's just take a break Victor. You look a bit tired and distracted." And is more than glad to accept the break. 

He sneaks to his target, the two men are still immersed in their business discussion as Victor reaches them.

"So we have decided to delay the Grand Opening of the new branch after the launch of the new collection. We will discuss this more in tomorrow's meeting. Oh Victor hello!" The director greets on noticing him then he turns back to his CEO who is now smiling politly to Victor. 

"I don't think we even need a marketing strategy for this collection. Victor's face is enough promo for the whole company, his impact is no joke. We are lucky he's exclusive to us." The director praises to their boss. And Victor smiles charmingly to him.

"Nice to see you Mr Katsuki. It's been a while since we've seen you here." 

"Nice to see you too Victor. You know how busy I'm. I just came here straight from the airport after spending three weeks in Tokyo. Couldn't wait till tomorrow to check on the new collection progression."

"Such a dedication Mr Katsuki. Impressive!" The director praises again, oblivious of where Yuuri's real dedication lays at. 

"Excuse me I need to change my outfit. We are almost finished."

"Ah before you go Victor, I was just telling Mr Javier that I'm intending to invite all of the shooting staff tonight for dinner. To make up for the lost time, I like feeling connected to my employees."

"Unfortunately Mr Katsuki, my boyfriend and I are spending time together tonight. It's been a while since we've met." 

"Oh. That's fine we can delay it then. I'm sure you will have a good a time with him."

Victor smiles at the indirect promise. He nods. "Thank you Mr Katsuki. Now excuse me both. I will be at my changing room."

Victor retreats in big steps almost running to his room. He enters asking everyone there to leave because..he needs to rest. 

Victor checks himself in the mirror making sure he is still looking perfect. He reapplies his tasty lip gloss, making sure to emphasize on his luscious lips. Three weeks..three weeks and Victor isn't sure how he's still sane. Suddenly Victor hears a click of the door and with it his last heartbeat before he dies of anticipation. 

Victor closes his eyes, already feeling the gaze piercing his back. Then he feels hands taking his bare waist. He hums in satisfaction as the hands lightly stroke the smooth skin of his abdomen and sides. 

His breathing hitches as he feels a pair of lips pressed to his pulse point, moving along the column of his neck in light feathrly pecks. Victor's head falls back on his kisser's shoulder, snuggling his face to the other's soft cheek. 

"Your boyfriend is a lucky man, baby boy." He whispers in his ear. 

Victor chuckles lightly while trying to catch his stolen breaths. "But not as lucky as my daddy!" 

Victor quickly turns over, facing Yuuri who is smiling with mesmerized face, gazing at Victor in awe. And Victor just stares at him, drinking in every feature he has missed. 

"Oh I've missed you daddy!" Victor throws himself at his lover, kissing him hard with everything he got.

Yuuri pushes him against the wall, supporting his weakened knee by placing a leg between Victor's shaky legs. He deepens the kiss as his hands wander all over Victor's body, his waist, his abdomen, his arms, his face. Victor pants as Yuuri moves his attacking lips over his neck to his collarbones. 

"Now explain to me my baby, why are so neglecting like this? Losing your credit card again and again. Do you have any idea how mad I was when I knew you reported losing it? I couldn't wait to come home to teach you a lesson."

Victor bites his lip shyly and Yuuri gives him a smug smile. "I'm sorry daddy, I forgot it somewhere when I was shopping. I should be careful daddy. I'm so sorry." He pouts cutely, trying to charm his way out of the trouble. 

Yuuri shakes his head with a smug smile. "You should be punished for this. I can't wait to discipline you tonight baby boy." 

"Forgive me daddy. I will do anything for you!"

"Oh sure you will. Too bad I'm too busy and I have to wait till the night."

"And..and do I have to wait too to..to.. I mean I'm..walking around penniless now since I lost my card." 

"Oh baby boy.. You need money?" Victor nods in sweet shyness. 

"Hmm. I don't want to give you another card because you are going to lose it. Maybe..you need cash pocket money?"

Leave it to Yuuri Katsuki to fish a bundle of thousands from his pocket casually like they are ten dollars bills. Yuuri raises the bundle up to Victor's face, he waves with it right and left and Victor's eyes follow the notes in interest.

Yuuri squeezes his shoulder with the other hand. "So you want my money Victor?" He holds up the money, brushing Victor's face with it. 

"Yes daddy. Give me money." It's not like Victor cares for real about few thousands bills. Victor knows how much it pleases Yuuri to ask for money or gifts or anything from him. 

Victor reachs his hand to take the money. But Yuuri is quicker to draw them back. He holds Victor's chin up. "Hmm. Then maybe you should earn it." 

Then Yuuri presses his body to Victor's. He shoves his tongue inside Victor's mouth, sucking obscenely at his lips and tongue, hands hungrily exploring Victor's skin. 

The wad of money falls from Yuuri's hand as he gropes the firm flesh of Victor. His mouth leaves Victor's and he trails open mouthed kisses along the sharp jaw down to his throat, teeth gently nipping at the prominence of his Adam's apple. He takes the choker wrapping Victor's neck between his teeth, rolling it up to expose the clean strip of skin behind it and runs his tongue across the reddened area. 

"Yuuri.. Please.." Victor whimpers breathlessly, completely overwhelmed by his sensual torture. Victor grinds unconsciously to the the thigh stuck between his legs, seeking a friction of pleasure. 

"Look at you baby boy, you missed me so much that you already got excited from just kissing me?"

Yuuri's hand devilishly sneaks to fondle the bulging front of Victor's pants and Victor erotically moans. "Please.."

"What do you want Vitya? You want me to take you now? Your CEO? With all of my employees outside? You want them to hear you getting wrecked, to hear your moans when you come?"

He tightens his grip on Victor's painful hardness. And Victor's hands hold tightly on Yuuri to support himself from collapsing. "Please.. Daddy please.. I need you so much.. Please.."

"You are being a naughty boy Vitya, and I would spank you if there weren't tens of people around us. But I could wait. And since you can't control yourself and you want a scandal so bad, and you are begging like a good boy, I'm going to please you."

Suddenly his hand gracefully slides inside Victor's pants, grabbing his aching hardness. And Victor sees the stars as he gets pleasured by Yuuri's skillful fingers.

"Beautiful, beautiful my baby boy! You are so good to your daddy when you obey him."

Victor bites his own hand to prevent himself from letting out a too loud scream that might cause the scandal he is dying for it to happen. While Yuuri bites down at his freckled shoulders, careful not to leave any marks although he would love to, but he is trying to avoid the same scandal. 

"Ah.. Ah.. Dad..daddy. I'm.. I'm so close.."

"Yes..yes come for me my beloved baby." 

Victor curses in Russia and fails to suppress one last moan and his body trembles with waves of pleasure drowning him. And Yuuri pulls out a hand painted with Victor's hot fluid. 

He clicks his tongue, shaking his head in disapproval. "What a dirty boy! Dirtying my hand like this and your pants are still on. You deserve a good spank my baby for being this bad. Now clean up your mess!" 

Victor nearly faints when Yuuri holds up his tainted hand near his mouth, raising a meaningful eyebrow. And he understands his silent order. Slowly Victor's tongue hangs out of his mouth, and begins to lick the white cum off his daddy's fingers and hand. Then like a kitten, he washes over the substance in utter devotion, and the scene is purely pornographic.

"You like your taste that much baby? I have to admit--" He pulls his hand away bringing a finger to his mouth, licking it sinfully. "you do taste so delicious my boy." then he brings it back to the hungry kitten. 

Victor is sensually devastated, exhausted. Too hot and too sweaty. He is sure he looks like a mess. And he still has shots to take. Oh god he ruined the pants he is modelling. He has to take them with him. It's crazy. Yuuri just puts his hands for few minutes, and he is all wrecked. 

"Good job baby boy." Yuuri prints a moist kiss on his shiny swollen lips. "You cleaned it well but seriously I have to go wash my hand. This is gross. See you tonight baby boy. Oh.. I totally forgot." 

Yuuri picks up the abandoned money and holds it up to him smirking. "You did earn your pocket money after all, Victor." 

Victor yelps in panic when his waistband gets tugged by Yuuri. And he loses his mind when Yuuri..actually slips the money inside his..underwear! There're about ten thousand dollars inside his damp briefs, stuck with his cum covered penis!

"Don't spend them all in one place." Yuuri winks cheerfully, mildly slapping his cheek. He kisses him one last time, and hums in satisfaction. "Tastes so good." Then he turns on his heels and walks away leaving a breathless bloody red Victor. 

Before emerging out of the door he turns to him. "Don't forget to change your messy clothes Vitya. And keep this choker I really like it. Make your makeup artist conceal that hickey, we don't want people think you are unfaithful to your..boyfriend. Also maybe if you are good enough tonight I will give you a credit card. You don't look too comfortable with the cash." Yuuri chuckles to himself lightheartedly and leaves. 

Victor's knees completely give up, and he falls to floor. He quickly remembers, and takes the money out of his crotch. There's no way he can spend them now.

Yuuri will be the death of him! But also he is his life. 

 

*********

Here is the thing. Yuuri is Victor's sugar daddy. And according to the definition of sugar daddy, Yuuri is the wealthy man who pays lots of money and buys hell of expensive gifts to someone beautiful and young, in return for companionship and sexual favors, although Yuuri is much much younger and more handsome than the stereotypical sugar daddy. And Victor is that beautiful one who receives the money and gifts and gives the companionship and sexual favors. 

So yeah Yuuri is Victor's sugar daddy. Victor is using Yuuri for the money, cause he needs that money very much. Victor is used to being showerd in wealth, to live a luxurious life where he gets all his wishes answered.

His circumstances led him to this ethically dubious deal. No one can blame him. 

Victor was born to a wealthy family, he was practically fed with a sliver spoon. His wishes were commands, anything he asked for became his at a blink of eye, usually he didn't even have to ask. Being his Mommy's only boy came to his advantage, and thus he was living a life of a royal. He didn't have to work hard for anything. 

Victor had it all, money, cars, mansions, unlimited black card, vacation trips all over the world, exclusive VIP permits, top fashion brands goods, and of course plenty of attractive lovers. Not to mention being otherworldly gorgeous and charming, with fun personality and easy likability and intense charisma drawing everyone to him. So Victor had it all. 

Until he no longer had it all. 

Being that spoiled, Victor had dedicated his life to partying and relaxing and having fun. The most effort he would exert was partying too hard. So naturally he barely made it with his studies, he didn't get in a university, and he never got a job. It wasn't like he was too dumb to study nor too lazy to work. He just didn't find it necessary. He wasn't interested in a particular profession and he didn't need to make a living, so what was the point? And that was perfectly fine to his mother who encouraged him to chase his pleasures and heart desires, he was her only son and she would give him the world. But that wasn't fine with his father at all. 

His father was a self made man, he started from below the zero. He had worked so hard giving his all with his sweat, blood, and tears to make all that. And as a result he had become one of Russia's most prominent businessmen, collecting a huge fortune allowing him and his family to live like royals. And he was still working hard to maintain his success and fortune. So what was he supposed to feel when he was seeing his only son of his own blood being a disgracing disappointment like this? 

Dimitri Nikiforov wanted his only son to be a decent adult who could be depended on, who could hold the responsibility. But all he was seeing was Victor wasting his youth and life being a useless burden objectifying himself thanks to his vain beauty. At twenty two his son was still acting like a reckless useless teenager. So he decided enough was enough, he had to fix his son. And as a result, he threw him out of his mansion. Like literally threw him out of his house, pushing him through the door avoiding mama Nikiforov's begging and crying and pleading as she was seeing her sweetheart the love of her life being expelled from his own home. 

At first Victor didn't realize what was happening to him, he was in denial thinking it was a joke or prank. But as the time passed on him standing by the high walls of his house, in his sweats and bed T-shirt, no phone in his hand and not a ruble in his pocket, he began to understand how dangerous his situation was. 

Luckly one of his many rich friends who was shared him that life style accepted to take him in. Georgi was kind and loyal, but he wasn't going to feed and raise Victor forever. So Victor had to figure something out. Even if he had other friends to parasitize on after Georgi got tired of him, they would also get tired of hosting him. And Victor had always taken pride in being the richest and the most generous among his friends and acquaintances. So it hurt his ego to depend on them like that. 

So he figured out he had to get a job. A real job that was sufficient to feed him and rent him a roof to sleep under and buys him a coat to shelter him from the freeze of St. Petersburg. The transition to that life was hard to believe, Victor was seriously thinking that way. If it were for someone else, they would have fallen in deep depression. But not Victor. Victor loved life and he could keep his optimism, he would survive and not give up to the downfall. All he had to do was to find a job and live on his own for a while, until his father would approve of him and take him back in. It was just a hard period and it would be over. 

The problem then was what job would accept of him when he didn't have a college degree or even a previous job experience, no skills, no special abilities? Sure he had tons of connections but what job would fit him successfully without screwing up and being a total failure?

Until he discovered something he was really good at. He was good at looking good. And that could easily qualify him to a modeling job. Not to mention Victor was all beauty and charisma and a very excellent fashion sense. A pretty angelic face and a fit heavenly sculpted body and a confident balanced walk. What more would he need? 

So with his connections and charms he manged to get many good local offers. And he started a promising modeling career. It made him enough to get by, but of course nothing like his life used to be. But at least he enjoyed it and he was constantly under the spotlight and the centre of the others attention. After a while, the Swiss model friend he newly made Christophe Giacometti brought him a golden opportunity to move to the states where the offeres were better and the chances were more, and Victor couldn't resist. 

Soon, he moved to New York to establish himself there, renting a small apartment and accepting the modest offers he got. It was true he was terrific and fascinating but was then in a big city with high competition, and even with his connections and social abilities things remained hard for him, specially when a large portion of his so called friends stood him up after finding out about his new financial situation. After all he used to throw them the parties and buy them the truffles and champagnes. And that he lost all that, what would be the need for him?

Life began to feel harder to Victor, he was totally deprived from all the blessings he was swimming at, he began to feel so lonely and down. His job was getting more annoying and the people around him were constantly trying to take advantage of him, to have a piece if him. His financial sources were limited and he really really missed his old life. 

He called his father, thinking that maybe if he told him that he was living on his own and working to make his living, maybe his father would count it a success and ask him to go back. He had told him not to contact him unless he became a real man and got a decent job. Which he did, so he called. 

But that didn't go too well. 

His father scolded him really awfully, telling him that whoring himself to cameras and selling his appearance wasn't a decent job. He asked him not to call back until he got a real job. And Victor was furious, how didn't the he realize how hard modelling could be? The hours spent under the blinding burning flashes of cameras, standing on his feet for those hours with no break, the endless instructions and scolds given to him, the hands and looks reaching for him and his body without his consent, the toxic chemicals and sprays and make up killing the vitality of his skin and hair and lungs. All that went unappreciated, without being taken seriously? 

Victor completely lost it. He had patience and optimism for too long, but he couldn't do it anymore! He had to find a solution, he had to regain the easy life he had. At any price.  
.

And as if the heavens gates were open at that moment accepting prayers. Victor had at the same day a party at night, some fashion function where his presence as a model was required, and hopefully he could catch some good deal there.

Victor was standing with few of his modelling colleagues. All bored and gloomy, doing his best to hold in his irritation and anger. 

Many approached him for a dance, a small talk, a phone number, some even asking straight for a fun night. And he declined all of them politely. Only a small fraction of patience holding him back from kicking all of his admirers in the balls. He was aware he looked stunning that night in his eye catching fire red suit, so it was predictable his flaming appearance would attract the annoying moths.

His ill temper persisted for a while. Until his eyes caught him! Victor lost track of the ongoing conversation among his mates, as his attention diverged to the man standing across the place in a charisma demanding all of Victor's undivided concentration. 

Despite not glancing at him once, Victor couldn't help but stare at the man who was standing upright chatting with other man. He drank in the appearance of the elegant stranger. His body seemed fit and well toned in the expensive perfectly tailored navy suit, maybe a little shorter than Victor himself. His hair was sexily gelled back revealing a face that was a thing of beauty, refined Asian features Victor couldn't stop looking at. It was crazy to Victor how the sexy face was sweetly cute at the same time.

But what stole Victor's breath away, was the proud posture of his form. The way he held the champagne flute confidently, taking sips from time to time bobbing his throat seductively as he swallowed. The way how his head fell back as he laughed in a superior manner. How he was oozing power while just standing there. And the dark mysterious aura surrounding him. His whole appearance was giving away the impression of a man dominating the world. A master of his own universe.

Victor lost track of the time he had been spending staring shamelessly at the object of his desire. Why didn't that guy approach him instead of all the bastards who were hitting on him? 

It seemed like his company noticed how distracted he became. Chris whistled seeing where Victor's eyes were fixed. "That's a nice catch!" 

Victor felt a blush creeping over his cheeks being caught staring like a thirsty teenager. "Do you know him?"

"Oh do I know him. Do I know Yuuri Katsuki one of the most eligible bachelors in the business world, the regional CEO of the multi-billion Katsuki empire in the US, whose main owners are one of the wealthiest families in Japan? I do know him I also know he is recently endorsing fashion and currently investing in one of the biggest fashion houses here "

Of course, of course he had to be the full package. A young smart business mind hungry for power and wealth, too good at his job, too good looking, too good to be true. Victor used to avoid that type when they were throwing themselves at his feet. Because he had dealt with enough of them to realize they were mostly narcissistic douches with superiority complexes. 

But Victor didn't care if Yuuri belonged to that cursed category, it had been too long since he felt that attracted to someone. Also Victor was feeling it was something more than a physical attraction. It was like his soul longed to him? That was crazy. 

And as if he had sensed being mentioned, Victor was struck when Yuuri glanced at him, then slowly his lips were drawn in a smirk. The handsome bastard!

It made Victor flinch shyly Yuuri maintained his intense gaze. Their eyes remained in contact like that for a while, and the rest of the world vanished. 

It was safe to assume that Yuuri was interested too. And Victor waited for him to make his move, inviting him with the alluring looks he had mastered perfectly.  
But Victor's frustration grew more and more as Yuuri's focus was deviated away from him. And suddenly he was completely out if his sight. 

Victor kept searching the faces around him looking for his man, all to no avail.

He frowned in disappointment, and excused himself from his company, heading to the drinks table. He needed something to cool down the burn.

"Hello, can I get you a drink?" A strong built guy with an arrogant smile and prominent red hair stood next to him, offering him the drink. 

"The drinks here are free in case you didn't notice." Victor answered coldly.

"Ouch, that was dumb of me." He laughed and his laughter was annoying to Victor. 

"It was." Victor hoped his cruel tone would convey his disinterest to the man. 

"Then let me make it up for you. Would you like to dance with me?"

"No." Victor answered firmly. No negotiations were allowed.

"I'm sure you will enjoy your time with me. I'm Ronald Howard, you can call me Ron." He offered his hand with an annoying smile. Ron and red hair?

Victor eyed his offered hand with an ice cold look. "And you can call me Draco Malfoy, now excuse me the lord of dark is waiting for me!" Victor said with a straight face without emphasizing on the reference. He shifted on his feet to leave but the guy stopped on his way laughing, and Victor thought that his laugh was too ugly.

"I see you are very funny. It's not the first time I get that joke."

"Really? Good for you..now excuse me." 

"Hey hey gorgeous where are you going?" The jerk wouldnt accept the rejection then!

"Look I'm really not interested."

"What if I can change your mind?"

Victor was about to answer rudely but he was cut off by an arm thrown around his waist. "And what if he is already with someone else?" 

Victor turned to the figure saving him and he almost screamed. It was Yuuri! Handsome powerful Yuuri wrapping his arm possessively around him. And Victor can see the effect on his harasser's face. The dominating power was radiating from Yuuri that anyone could feel it threatening them. Victor felt very safe.

The guy tried to hide his nervousness behind a fake chuckle. "Oh I see. Mr Katsuki is your lord of dark huh?"

Victor could feel Yuuri's grip tightening on his waist. Yuuri looked questionably at him. "No this is actually Harry." Victor said while trying to restrain his laugh. 

"Mr Howard, will you excuse us?" Yuuri said in a commanding tone. He didn't move to leave at all, which meant it was a cue for Ron himself to leave. 

Ron's face was irritated, obviously ego hurt by the loss. He nodded and finally left. Victor sighed in relief, but then a disappointment ran through him once Yuuri withdrew his arm off his waist. 

"Thank you Mr Katsuki. I wouldn't know what to do with jerks like him who can't accept rejections. But I'm lucky enough a nice gentleman like you came to save the day. I'm Victor by the way." Victor smiled sweetly. Yuuri just poured himself a drink. Face all blank and expressionless. Victor got worried, weren't his charms working on him? That would be a nice addition to his misfortunes. Men he despised chasing him, and a man he finally wanted ignoring him.

Yuuri took a sip from his champagne, face still blank. Then he looked at Victor with intense eyes that shook Victor's core. "It is hard to be rejected from you. I don't think myself can handle this." His lips quirked in half a smile, and his eyes sparked in suggestion. 

Victor's mouth went dry. He cleared his throat. "Maybe you don't have to handle it." Victor bit his lip at the implication. And he noticed how Yuuri's eyes darkened with want. 

Suddenly Victor found himself being gently cornered back to a nearby wall anf Yuuri was trapping him. He took both of Victor's hands raising them above his head and pinning his arms to the wall. Victor closed his eyes feeling Yuuri's fast breathing floating over his face, and then he melted in a hot mad kiss consuming him as a whole. Victor had never been kissed that way. He felt like it was his soul being kissed that passionately with Yuuri lips pursing his surrendered lips, hot tongue invading his mouth, licking the inside of it, hugging his own tongue, teeth assaulting the soft flesh of his lips, and hands everywhere. 

After forever, Yuuri pulled back, face flushed, lips swollen, and eyes dark. He pressed a thumb on Victor's lower bruised lip. "You are a thing of divine beauty Victor." Victor could possibly have died at that moment, but his crazy loud heart beating was an indication of the opposite, he was so alive. 

Victor ached at the loss of contact when Yuuri let go of him. He adjusted himself, back to his neutral collected self. "Unfortunately Victor I can't ask you for the proper dance you deserve right now. But.." He pulled what must have been his business card out of his pocket. Then he stepped towards Victor, planting the card in his front pocket. "I will be waiting for your call. Call me on my very private number, Victor." He threw him a mischievous wink and he was gone, leaving a very awestruck Victor. 

And naturally since that night Victor couldn't stop thinking about Yuuri to the point he became obsessed, searching him online and stalking him on social media. To realize his social presence was rare and no friends. He waited two days to call, to not sound too eager of course, he still had to keep his dignity. And when Yuuri answered with his calm voice, chills ran down Victor's spine and he lost it. He replied with shaky voice, like a teenager. Cool sexy Victor was all gone under Yuuri's mercy.

They agreed on a date which had to be a lunch date on Yuuri's yacht of course. As if he needed more elements to impress Victor. Victor pretended he was checking his schedule for the weekend to see if he would be available, which he totally was. He pretended to be totally cool to wait five more days, it wasn't like he was dying to see him immediately.

He could wait, it was fine. He wasn't already thinking about what to wear to the noon date to look carefree and cool and sexy at the same time. 

Victor gave him his address in shame because Yuuri was totally picking him up from his house. And Victor wasn't proud of his address. In return, Victor received one hundred roses every day for five days. He couldn't believe the tender gesture of Yuuri. He was so falling for Yuuri. They only talked once over the phone in a practical conversation, and Victor was already falling hard. 

At the day of the date Victor made sure to look perfect. Yuuri picked him up with a god damned Lamborghini. He looked very different from the party. He still had the sexy aura but more carefree in his casual outfit, and his fluffy hair down his forehead and a big blue framed pair of glasses. Which made him look less intimidating, and more accessible, hell he even looked so cute and young. The duality of a man! 

When they met Yuuri presented him an elegant bouquet of roses..blue roses. Victor was bewildered, they must have been dyed, but they looked extraordinary. Also his heart was kidnapped when Yuuri kissed his knuckles and opened the car door for him. What a dreamy gentleman! Who did that anymore? 

On the yacht, Yuuri was quiet. He didn't talk a lot unless to ask more about Victor, his answers were calculated and precise. Nothing but work in his life. No special interests, no social life. But he seemed very interested in hearing more about Victor, so naturally Victor did all the talking. He was a bit nervous by the way Yuuri's eyes were fixated on him, following every motion and gesture. And his eyes weren't very helping Victor to relax, there was something raw and dark about them, and the sexy ghost of smirk constantly occupying his lips, he looked like a hunter watching his prey. Oh he must have desired Victor a lot. 

"The weather is really nice today. The breeze is refreshing and the skies are clear. So blue and so.. Pretty." Victor babbled happily as he chewed his shrimp, they were having the lunch on a table set on board, and apparently he ran out of topics to talk about.

Yuuri was resting his chin on his fist, giving him a look made him melt. "It is indeed. But the blue of your eyes are much more beautiful."

Victor hoped his blush wasn't too apparent to Yuuri. They were just simple words and he hadn't heard nothing but words of affection and flirtations and compliments his whole life. So why those words particularly affected him that much?

He bit his lip repressing a pleased smile. "Thank you. You are really sweet."

Yuuri shifted in his seat. He rested his back to the chair, supporting his elbow on the back of the it. Victor was no body language expert, but it didn't take a genius to conclude that Yuuri's new position screamed dominance and control. Yuuri was about to talk about their relationship, and Victor was more than ready to date him. 

"So Victor, you are quite irresistible. And I think it's time to offer you my proposition."

Victor didn't like the way he talked, it seemed like he was about to close a business deal. Maybe that was his style? 

"What is it?"

"We need to settle some bases to our relationship if we are going to continue on this. Which I truly hope." 

Oh no. That didn't sound too promising. 

"What? Do I have to sign a sort of submission contract or something?" Victor laughed nervously, implying a twisted deal that Yuuri might suggest. Yuuri seemed amused, like.. Victor was actually close to the truth. 

"Not exactly signing, and not exactly a submission."

Oh..

"I'm not really sure what do you mean Yuuri. Do you.. want to have a sort of.. twisted relationship with me to fulfill your dark fantasies produced by some psychological complexes and past traumas like those young successful megalomaniac billionaires who are internally wrecked fuck ups?" 

Victor was dead serious, and Yuuri howled am excited laugh. His laughter was too cute but that wasn't the time for Victor to fall for his musical laugh. It was the time to worry. Of course someone too perfect had to be twisted and fucked up. 

"You went too far Victor, this is an erotica scenario. I'm not that complicated and I'm not a sociopath. I'm just asking for a unique unconventional relationship and you are free to accept or refuse. Now you are not completely wrong. I do have a complex."

Victor looked at him skeptically, bracing himself for whatever weird confesstion he was about to hear. 

"A daddy complex." Yuuri added with a mischievous wink. 

Oh.. 

"Daddy? Like.. A rich older man.. A sugar daddy?" Victor asked with shaky voice. His mouth went dry, and his hand nervously reached for a glass of water to wet his burning throat.

Yuuri took a sip of his wine and shook his head. "I'm not a very old man.. I mean I'm only twenty seven. But sure I'm very rich."

"Wait! You want to be..my..my.. " He stopped to pour the drink down his aching throat.. 

Yuuri smirked. "Be my baby boy, Victor. "

And Victor chocked. 

"Are you okay?" Yuuri asked in concern. 

Victor wiped his mouth while trying to control his coughing. He nodded fiercely. "Yes.. Yes. I'm okay! Just give me a minute please."

"Do you need some water?" Yuuri offered him a glass of water. 

"No thank you. Just let me breathe okay?" 

Victor took few deep breaths. He was trying to process the words in his mind. Yuuri wanted to be his sugar daddy? How? 

"Okay. You want to be my sugar daddy. And you are not really that old, but you me to call you daddy?"

Apparently Yuuri wanted, because once Victor had mouthed daddy Yuuri's eyes darkened in temptation. Was it a kink? 

"Yes."

"But..how are we supposed to act? Like an ongoing role play?"

"It's very easy. You love me and I buy you stuff."

Oh..

Yuuri took Victor's hand in his, conveying a warmth to it. "I want you to be mine. To be my baby boy who is always ready for me. Like when I ask for you, you will be there for me. Beautiful and mesmerizing as you are and waiting for me to take you and play with you. Don't worry I'm not asking for full control of your life. You will be free to do anything you want as long as you ask for my permission and I agree, or at least you inform me about what you're up to. Let me be in charge for you." 

Victor couldn't believe what he was hearing. Why would Yuuri want that sort of relationship from him? Wasn't he good enough for a normal relationship?

"Don't worry, I won't force you to do anything you don't want to. Everything will be at your consent. I will never hurt you or threaten you. And you are free to walk away any time you want. Just be fully mine. In return I will take good care of you. I will make you live like a prince, everything you wish for will be yours. I will buy anything and everything. I will open an account just for your expenses. Clothes, jewels, money, travels, anything you wish for."

Oh. Wasn't that what he exactly needed? 

"I actually knew from one of your friends about your crisis. That you lost your family's support and things since then have been a bit tough for you. And you are too delicate to live like this. Victor..you were born to live like a prince. You shouldn't bear the burden of money or live a modest life. You were used to a certain quality life, and I want to give it back to you."

Great! His life had become a gossiping material, and everyone knew he was a helpless loser disowned by his father and lived in poor misery! But the offer was too good to refuse. Just a week ago Victor was willing to do anything to get back his expensive life, he grew tired of having to work hard and go through shit to provide tomorrow's bread. 

What more could he ask for? A fortune out of no where and an extremely hot..daddy. He would be greedy if he asked for more. It's already a miracle he landed such hot opportunity, and all it required was to look pretty and ready to be fucked twenty four seven. Wait! Did Yuuri mean that? 

"So do you want me ready to meet you at any time? But what about my life? My work, my friends, my private space?"

"I'm not regularly around since my work requires much travelling. So you will have to adjust his personal schedule to fit mine. It's not like we will have much time together, I'm mostly busy. As for your work I know you are not happy with your agency. So you will sign an exclusive contract to model for our fashion house, I will make you the face of our company."

Wow! And even a greater job opportunity! That was bigger than what Victor had even asked. It was too perfect, too calculated, flawless. Everything was taken care of. There was nothing to lose at all, all benefits and advantages. And if Victor didn't like something he could walk away anytime. No strings attached. No commitment. No..deep feelings. 

"I have few terms though." Yuuri added. "Our relationship is exclusive. I will not accept you to have other intimate partner while we are together. And the same for me. You be my baby boy only. Also..our relationship has to be kept secret. My position is sensitive and my family is very reserved, so it will be hard for us to show up together in the public in an implying way. Of course we can appear together as acquaintances but nothing more." 

Ouch. Really ouch. The deal felt dirty from the beginning. And moreover. Yuuri was ashamed of it and was really going to treat it as a dirty secret that should be kept hidden. He was right though. When they would meet other people what would he supposed to say introducing him? "This is my sugar baby, I pay him to let me fuck him"? 

Victor felt Yuuri squeezing his hand in a comforting manner. He shifted his gaze between their intertwined fingers and Yuuri's brown eyes. Despite everything Yuuri's eyes were hypnotizing. They were asking Victor to trust him. 

"Victor. I would show you off to the entire world. You are too ethereal and beautiful to be kept hidden. I would want everyone to know that you belong to me. But please understand my situation. My family will not be open up to the idea of me dating.. someone who is not of the same class. I mean your father's reputation could have been a good advantage, but you are..not involved in his business..you are just a model. Don't misunderstand me please. I don't mean to belittle you. You are too amazing. But this is my family's mentality. And I'm.. I'm not free enough to face them."

Also it wouldn't really worth it. That thing that could possibly be their "unique" relationship would just be a fun getaway, a game of pleasure to Yuuri. It wouldn't worth the rebellious acts or the sacrifices.

Victor remained silent while his mind was too noisy, crowded with conflicted thoughts and expectations and feelings. 

Yuuri was staring at him with hopeful eyes. Did he desire him that much? Why didn't he just ask for one night that could be repeated if things went good? Victor would have accepted without thinking. Why wouldn't they have a sort of bedroom relationship that included only the occasional steamy sexual encounters? Victor would have accepted that too. He could offer him all the presents he wanted. Victor would have loved them too. Victor would have accepted all that because it held the potential of something more serious in the future. More committed. 

But Yuuri put starts and endings to everything, limits and conditions that suited him. He opened the doors that he wanted, and slammed the rest of the doors at Victor's face. 

A small voice in Victor's head began to echo. 'Don't act like you are he victim here. You are not going to lose anything. Do you still want to live the shitty life you are having now? Do you really expect a man that successful and hard working and wealthy to take you seriously? What are you but a spoiled brat with a pretty face? What more than that pretty face you've got? You own nothing, you are incapable of doing anything. So quit it and accept the offer you are too blessed to get. You will get exactly what you want, don't be greedy and ask for something you can't pay back for.'

It seemed like his mind was trying to persuade him, because deep down he knew that wasn't something to reject. He looked up Yuuri who was sitting calmly before him, drinking his wine, and staring up Victor with an intense frown. 

Then Yuuri got up from his seat. He began to circle around Victor causing him dizzying him. Then Yuuri stood behind him. His hands landed on Victor's shoulders, gently massaging them to make Victor sink down in his seat under his touch. 

Yuuri lowered his head, making his mouth at the level of Victor's red ear. His breathing hit the sensitive skin of his neck, and goosebumps ran through Victor's body. 

"Victor.." His whispers sent shivers down Victor's spine "Be my baby boy and I will bring you the whole world. You deserve a life of princes. You should live at a high tower near the sky away from the land, you should be dressed in silks and satins, you should bath in champagne, and walk on trails of flowers petals, your neck--" Yuuri stopped his intoxicating whispers, to print a hot kiss at the side of Victor's neck. "--deserves to wear a necklace made of the stars." 

With each word Victor was losing his control, heart thumping loudly blood ruuuning like crazy in his vessels, breathing hitching.

He turned his head to look at Yuuri in the eyes. And Yuuri met him with one promising smile. "Be my baby boy Victor." Victor leaned his face closer to Yuuri's, making their lips meet in a heated kiss. Victor got drunk on it, giving up any control he had as Yuuri's fingers delicately wrapped his pulsating neck. 

"Okay.." Victor agreed in Yuuri's mouth. And Yuuri pulled back with a satisfied grin on his face. He moved from behind Victor to his side, then got down on his knees. He pulled out a small jewellery box from his pocket. Opening it, he revealed a gold ring. And Victor almost had a heart attack in place. Was he proposing or what? 

Yuuri took out the ring, and took Victor's hand with his other hand, kissing each of his fingers. Then he put the ring around his right ring finger. "I'm so glad you agreed Victor. I will make you happy. I will spoil you with the best. Now this ring..it has my name engraved on it. Never take it off Victor. Do you know what does ring mean Victor? It means you are mine. You are mine now Victor, aren't you?"

Victor swallowed thickly, slowly nodding. Then he pulled it together to let out few words. " Yes.. Daddy.."

And Yuuri shut his eyes with an ecstatic face. He liked that word that much? 

"Such a good boy Victor. You deserve a reward." And soon he pulled out another jewellery box from his other pocket, and took a watch out of it, placing it on Victor's wrest. Victor's eyes almost left their orbits in amazement on seeing on his wrest the gold watch ornamented with.. diamonds? Like real diamond. It had been months since Victor had worn something that expensive.

"Wow.. It looks amazing!"

"Custom made. Only the best for my best boy."

That was really happening, Victor was going to live in the luxury he had missed, and enjoy the company of Yuuri, and get treated like a prince. What was he even thinking? That was the perfect solution to all his problems. He couldn't believe it. He giggled as he stared at the watch glowing under the daylight. 

He bit his lip looking at a very pleased Yuuri and he pulled him closer by the collar of his shirt. "Thanks daddy!" And gave a monstrous kiss on Yuuri's lips. 

And that how the deal began. Their relationship progressed. Meeting in privacy, eating and dancing and talking and laughing, having wild sex, buying expensive stuff. They didn't meet much at the beginning, Yuuri was always busy. But he sent one hundred flowers every day to him. And various other gifts got sent to him out of nowhere.

Victor got his new contract and it was nothing like his previous modelling experiences. He was treated as well as the designers themselves. In addition to being the official model for the fashion house, the salary was more than he had ever dreamed. And despite that, Yuuri still gave him a credit card to a small account for his expenses. They also went out often, but away from the public eyes of course. Expensive dates and vacations at Yuuri's limited free time. 

As months passed, Victor couldn't be any happier. Yuuri also got addicted to him that he started to invent the time for him. He couldn't stay away from him too long so he insisted on him to move in his penthouse with him. Which nearly became Victor's since Yuuri was away travelling most of the time. 

And that's how the things have been since then. Now they have been together for almost a year, practically living together in a domestic bliss, and a very sexy life. Knew everything about each other, studied each other's minds and personalities. Yuuri is no longer reserved about their appearance together in public. Although they are not really revealing their relationship, people assume they are involved in a sexual relationship but nothing sure. Officially Yuuri is still one of the hottest bachelors in the business world, and everyone can act blind about his boytoy.

Yes Victor is living a very luxurious life, showered in gifts and money, immersed in all the materialistic pleasures a human can ask for. But beyond this, beyond the give and receive nature of their relationship, beyond the lustful hungry touches and long sexy nights, Victor is in for much more.

Nothing can compare to the way Yuuri smiles at him in the morning when they wake up in each other's arms. Nothing is like the carefree laugh of Yuuri when Victor does something silly. Or his comforting pats on the back when Victor is gloomy. Nothing feels as good as his tight hugs. Nothing is sweeter than his honest words, kinder than his caring eyes. 

Victor lays on his stomach, head resting on his arms beneath him, the soft sheets covering his heated naked body. He is facing Yuuri who is sitting by his side, leaning his back to headboard, busy on the laptop on his thigh. 

Victor stares up to him drinking in every detail of his profile, delicate facial features, wet streaks of hair. Looking so young and so soft, radically different from his intimidating collected self. And it fills Victor's chest with warmth, that he is the only one on the world that gets to see this side of Yuuri. 

The world knows the loner practical hardworking Yuuri Katsuki, serous and intimidating. A business genius who never loses, who is able to multiply his family's fortune this young. 

But only Victor knows how sweet and gentle Yuuri is. How of an art lover he is that he collects very expensive original artworks by famous artists at his house. How he likes cooking to cope with a stress.  
How he listens and keeps in his mind everything Victor says although he might seems not listening.

Yuuri turns to look at him, a gentle smile on his face. "Baby boy, you are still awake? Are you feeling hurt? Was I too rough with you?"

Victor grins widely. "Just a little sore. I will be okay. Don't worry. Aren't you tired? You had a very long day"

"I will finish few things and sleep, my beauty." Yuuri leans down to him, scattering butterfly kisses all over his face. Then he gently brushes his hair before going back to his laptop. 

Shortly, Yuuri is ready to sleep. He places down his laptop and takes off his glasses and slips under the cover, taking Victor between his arms in a warm embrace. He kisses the top of his head and dozes.  
And Victor hums in peaceful bliss. 

Yes Yuuri is his sugar daddy, he pays him too well to keep him happy, he gave Victor everything. And Victor loves this. Loves this life. Loves Yuuri's money. Loves his endless spoiling and pampering. Loves Yuuri's care and attention. 

But most importantly, he loves Yuuri so much, too much. 

Which is not good. Because a relationship like this has no future, especially after Yuuri had warned him from getting too attached. After all it's a deal. Love me for tonight, and I'll give everything. But tomorrow I can't promise you of anything.

Victor can never understand Yuuri's feelings towards him. He brings him the world at his feet, fills his ears with the tenderest of words. But all this can surging from Yuuri's urge to take care of someone, playing too well the role of the good daddy. But assuming Yuuri loves him back, then what? Live happily ever after? 

Victor is a hopeless romantic, but he also knows how tragic this could turn to be if they got in too deep. A one night, two, three, a week, a month, a year or two of love. But not farther than this.

So Victor will pretend he is in love with him just for tonight and for every day he is still with him. He will pretend like the tomorrow he is not promised of will not come any soon. 

Just Let him love Yuuri. With or without his money. Just love him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: some offensive words
> 
> Also I'm not so good on smut so forgive me.. 
> 
> Also phone sex.. 
> 
> Also I hope you enjoy

The morning rays penetrate Victor's eyelids, forcing them to flutter open. Victor gives up easily since he has a good reason to wake up. He stretches his limbs then turns on his side with a lazy smile expecting a pleasant sight by his side. But his smile is soon to fade in disappointment when he sees a cruel empty space instead. Is it possible that he already left?

He glances around, a hopeless effort that might pay. But it's all him at the spacious bedroom. Victor groans while hiding his face between his hands in frustration. Looking at the clock on the wall he realizes it's still very early. Couldn't Yuuri even kiss him good morning before leaving? 

Victor gets out of the bed, wrapping his naked body in the sheet. He walks to the window wall overlooking the whole city. A penthouse on top of a skyscraper is what resembles a tower closer to the sky than the earth. Didn't Yuuri want to make him live in a place like that? He didn't mention it would feel this lonely and isolated. 

Yuuri has always been so busy, only limited time and calculated hours available with him. But he also had the talent to invent extra time for Victor. Even if he couldn't find time for him, he didn't neglect him that much. His calls has become shorter, they barely talked during his trip in Tokyo. And now he doesn't greet him before leaving to work like he used to do. 

Is it finally happening? Is he getting bored of Victor? Had Victor lost his hypnotizing charms? Has Yuuri become aware that he deserves better? 

Victor was never the one with self esteem issues. He was so confident to the point of narcissism. But that used to be when he felt like he owned the world. However, with his father abandoning him to the real world all alone, Victor came to realize of how useless and worthless he had been. A piece of decoration people will stare at for few minutes, maybe try to touch it, and then they get bored of it and walk away. 

So his father was the main reason to see himself this way. Until Yuuri came into his life demanding to be the centre of his universe. Victor welcomed with open arms (and legs) and made him his everything. Is it the turn for Yuuri to do the same thing his father did too? 

He takes a deep breath, filling his lungs with despair and letting out pains. What a drama queen, Yuuri forgets to wake you up for a day and you act like it's the end of the world! Victor thinks to himself, you are still his baby boy. He won't give you up easily!

Right?

He puts on a silk robe of his and leaves the bed to the open kitchen to have his morning coffee. After pouring himself a mug, he calls for Makkachin, his closest companion. But there's no trace of his poodle. Victor calls over and over, searching the large spaces for his Makka. Still no answer. 

Then things begin to connect in his head, and he laughs at himself for being an idiot. How can he forget something like this? 

Just as he rolls his eyes at himself, he hears the security code being passed and the apartment door open, through it enters a very excited Makkachin followed by Yuuri, amused by his dog's hilarious antics. He is in his unusual casual attire and his hair is beautifully messy. 

Yuuri gives the poodle several good pats, cooing at how cute he is and the scene just fills Victor's heart with endless warmth. He got worried over Yuuri abandoning him just because Yuuri simply took their pet for a walk. Pathetic. 

Yuuri looks over him, a tender grin on his face and Victor answers back with an inviting smile. However he avoids him in favor of Makkachin and he gets down to the happy poodle, rubbing his fur and giggling while the pet leaves kissing licks all over his face.

Yuuri leans down to him, taking him in a hug and covering his forehead with adoring kisses. "Good morning my sweet boy." 

Victor melts in the hug. "Good morning daddy. I thought you had left without kissing me." Victor whines childishly and looks at him with sad puppy eyes.

"And how can I start my day without the best thing of it?" Yuuri holds up his chin between his fingers, eyes and tone sincere. It makes Victor giggle in joy. 

"You would think I would leave to my awful work without my daily dose of joy to function normally, and after a long time away from you? Little do you know about me my Vitya. Come on, I'll make it up to you." 

Yuuri takes Victor to the bathroom, and draws him a bath. He scents the water with Victor's favourite fragrant oils he gets specially for him. It might seems ridiculous, but Yuuri likes to make sure it's romantic enough for Victor. So Victor relaxes in the larger than life bathtub filled with heavenly smelling water, closing his eyes in satisfaction with rose petals floating around him, soft music in the backgriund to complete the cheesy setting. Yuuri is sitting on the edge behind him, fingers gracefully dancing from the silver hair to the heated nape to the freckled shoulders.

Victor has always found it silly, that Yuuri insists on pampering him despite he is the one who practically chases the gold and runs an empire. Just yesterday, he literally flew for over fourteen hours, went straight to one of his companies to check on work he's not even directly responsible for, gave a hungry Victor a mind-blowing handjob, spent the rest of the day at his main office, then went home to fuck Victor senselessly. And now he is the one who is massaging Victor while soaking him in a fancy bath.

He might has superpowers, never getting exhausted and never resting. A remarkable stamina to go on for days without settling to rest. But it makes Victor worry, how he pushes himself to overachieve, and the end of the day he comes home to find a needy bitch waiting for him, as Victor thinks of himself. But Yuuti assures him that his own form of relaxing and self-care is taking care of him. 

"Trust me all I need after a long a day of meetings and touring my group is to cook you a lovely dinner and dance with you all night long till we collapse on the bed to lazily make love until we fall asleep in each other's arms. That's how I rest baby boy." Yuuri answered him once when he showed concern. 

So what he's doing now is perfectly normal. Victor leans his head back over the edge of the bathtub. Yuuri hovers down his face over him, and gives him an upside down lingering kiss on the lips, their faces opposite each others . When Yuuri draws back after one final peck, Victor looks up at him and giggles at the funny position. Yuuri is still facing him upside down. He smiles curiously. "Why are you laughing baby boy?"

"You still look so good upside down." 

"I always look good." He plants another kiss on the tip of his nose. 

"What about me? How do I look like this?"

"Not bad.. But your hair falling back like this shows how wide your forehead is."

Victor pretends to be offended. Sitting up and shaking Yuuri's hands off himself, he throws him an angry look over his shoulder. "Don't touch me. Go to someone whose forehead is good enough for you."

Yuuri bursts laughing, and he takes off his boxers to soak in the tub with him, but Victor gives his the cold shoulder. So naturally Yuuri covers his literal shoulder with kisses, tickling Victor's sides playfully till Victor laughs and nestles himself between his legs. 

"I've missed you a lot. Things are unbearable without you." Victor glances at him while Yuuri runs his fingers affectionately through his hair. Victor isn't waiting for Yuuri to answer he has missed him too. Yuuri maybe doesn't shut up around Victor, constantly praising him and whispering sweet nothings to him, but he never talks out his feelings. And if he does he makes it about Victor. I miss your beauty, I miss your touch, I miss taking care of you. And it might seems lovely, but it's still vague to Victor; what Yuuri really feels for him. 

"Your hair is longer than when I left."

Victor involuntarily touches his wet locks. "It's been two weeks since I last got a haircut. At a time of my life I got so bored of cutting it over and over since it grew so quickly, so I just let it grew long. It reached my waist in about three months." 

Yuuri's eyes gleam on hearing about Victor's long hair. He must be imagining it right now cause the gleam brightens more and more. "Why haven't I thought about that? Oh my.. you must have looked like an ethereal angel with your hair long Vitya. Why I never imagined with such a look?"

Victor grins widely. "I think it was my best look. I really loved it. But it required much attention and care it was exhausting. So I just cut it. Committing to a daily routine was really hard and boring, it was better to give it up."

"Losing something so precious like that although you loved it because you couldn't commit to it.That's..a bit harsh." Yuuri comments in bitterness. It sounds depressing to Victor, the way Yuuri is bitter about it. Like he's not just talking about hair.

He just shrugs. "I mean I still look good without it. It's just hair. I can always grow it back quickly."

"Yes..yes. I'm sure you can easily replace anything you give up or abandon. Very easily. And easy come easy goes.." It's said in the same bitter tone, but more absentmindedly, like Yuuri is deep in thought. And it makes Victor a bit restless. Yuuri's words hold a deeper meaning, but Victor can't put his finger on it. 

Suddenly things got tense, and it makes Victor uneasy. So he tries to clear the mode. He takes Yuuri's hands and brings them to his lips to kiss passionately. "Since you sound so obsessed about my longer hair, how about I grow it again?" 

Yuuri's lost eyes acquire their gleam again upon hearing Victor's suggestion. And Victor takes it a chance to shift his position to fully face Yuuri, wrapping arms and legs around his beloved, making their groins in contact. He bites his lip as he approximates his face to Yuuri's. 

"I think you can make use of it when we make love, it will feel nice to pull at it when you fuck me." He whispers seductively and succeeds in tempting Yuuri to take his lips in a heated kiss.

Their bodies are quick to respond to the erotic kiss that their adjoining cocks instantly come to life. And Yuuri take them in his hand. And with the bouncing and shifting water level around them rises and elevates that it spills out of the tub. 

"Ahh.. Yuuri..please.. Ahh--" Victor's moans get muffled by Yuuri's devouring kisses.

Few minutes into the kissing and moaning and begging the tub water loses it clarity. 

Victor collapses on Yuuri's chest, while Yuuri pants chasing for air. "I.. I think we need to change the water." He comments and Victor just laughs breathlessly.

After recovering they decide on a quick shower, which loses its practical quality when someone decides he's famished and needs a power juice to keep him from starving. So yeah a lucky second orgasm, Victor. 

Anyway they move to the kitchen for real food. Yuuri prepares the breakfast while Victor sits on a stool at the kitchen island watching in amazement as Yuuri moves gracefully across the kitchen like a cooking fairy preparing the greasiest most filling foods.

"What do you have for today?" Yuuri asks as he opens the oven pulling out the cooked bacon omelet cheesy garlic bread, filling the air with mouthwatering smells. Victor's stomach growl. 

He tries to recall his schedule. "Just a runway rehearsal for the upcoming show at four." 

"So you don't need Otabek until the end of the day?"

"Well I wanted to shop with Mila and Sara today but my daddy didn't give me his card, although I was very good last night." 

"What an ungrateful brat! I gave you ten thousands, in cash!" 

Victor blushes at the memory. "But..but.. They are.. ruined! Some pervert soaked them with my cum!" 

Yuuri laughs as he places the ready plates on the counter in front of Victor. Inviting him with incredible smell. 

"Okay your daddy will personally take you to buy you all you want. Open up." Yuuri brings a forkful of food to his mouth, and without thinking Victor eats it, moaning as he munches on it. 

"My diet!" He whines with a full mouth making Yuuri chuckle he feeds him another bite. 

"Eat up, it's been weeks since I got to feed you. I'm sure if I hadn't called everyday you would have probably gone on days without a bite."

"And what if you feed me all this greasy food and I get fat? I won't be able to look fit and lure the people into buying your ugly clothes. Will you still like me then when I'm fat?"

"I will." Yuuri sticks a piece of sausage between his teeth and closes it to Victor's mouth, feeding him into a kiss. Such small affectionate gestures like this make Victor feel like floating in the air.

They go on eating and making out, mostly doing the later. Then Victor asks "So how was Tokyo? we didn't get the chance to talk about it last night." 

"A pain in the ass. As always! The annual reports and the board meetings and presentations. Weeks of dealing with this nonsense! What's worse is that the profits of one of our companies here in New York are declining, so there's a planned downsize to cut down the expenses and compensate the loss. And now I'm to fire hundreds of people from their jobs. God.." Yuuri groans. 

Victor lightly strokes his face and Yuuri starts to vent out his frustrations. "I hate this. I'm going to be make hundreds of people jobless in few weeks because I failed to achieve a target. And no matter what solutions I tried to offer, it's final because that's the board's decision!" 

"Sweetheart I'm really sorry. But you don't have to feel guilty about it. It's your job and you don't have a choice. It doesn't make you a bad person. That's the business, right?" Victor cups his face in comfort. And Yuuri lightly rubs his head.

"It makes me baby boy. It makes me horrible. I'm the capitalist villain whose corporation profits off its economically enslaved employees and throws them under the bus at first chance." He smiles bitterly, and it makes Victor's hear ache. 

"No way Yuuri! You are the fairest boss anyone could work for. And your employment terms and contracts are actually very decent compared to other corporations. So don't be harsh on yourself. You are the best man I know."

"Baby boy, you only see the good aspects of me do you think like that. But in reality I have to be nasty..heartless, if I want to make it. That humane or ethical part of me has to be buried if I want to succeed in the business world. I despise myself for doing this, and for liking my job despite knowing how low it is. Many people are struggling and we are the ones who gets fatter and fatter. But I like my business. Working, it's the one thing I can do!"

Victor goes speechless, unable to comfort him or make him feel better with his naive words. He gently rubs his back in sympathy, and Yuuri takes his hand to kiss it, sighing. "I guess I will just try to raise the value of their compensations. I'll get dressed up now. When you finish don't bother with the plates, the service will do them."

As Victor falls in deep thought the door bells rings, and he gets up to check the front cam. It's Yuri and Otabek. Yuuri's personal assistant and guard respectively. It's usual for them to come by the morning to drive either of them and check their needs, although Yuuri made Otabek more of Victor's personal assistant and guard throughout the day. Of Yuuri's personal staff they are the most important, along with Phichit his executive assistant. 

Victor opens the door meeting the two expressionless men with a smile brighter than the sun.

"Good morning Otabek and Yurio, come in."

"Good morning sir, how are you today?" Otabek asks as he steps in, followed by Yuri whose face cringes on hearing the nickname. Victor is aware of how much he hates it and he is forced to keep it inside himself, but Victor had no other choice but to give him a distinctive name. He and his boss can't share the same name! 

"I'm great, would you like some coffee? Or breakfast maybe?" He ushers them to have a seat.

"Thank you sir but we will leave soon with Mr Katsuki." Yuri answers after sitting down. 

Victor genuinely likes Otabek and Yuri. He spends a large portion of time with them, and they are two of few people know about his relationship with their boss, and although they might be closed off and serious all the time he has never felt they judge him. At least not in his face.

They exchange few words until Yuuri comes out of his room adjusting his tie and looking devastatingly handsome. 

"Ah you are already here, that's good, I called you later than I should have so I expected you will be late. Is there something new I should know about it Yuri?"

"Only an invitation to the opening of the new art exhibition of Yayoi Kusama after few days." 

"Oh that's great I'm really excited about it." Yuuri looks over Victor, smiling. 

"Is that the Japanese artist that makes those cute big smiling flowers?" Victor asks cutely, making Yuuri chuckle. 

"No baby. That one is Takashi Murakami!"

"I don't know they are all Japanese eccentric artists with funny works." 

Yuuri laughs even more then turns to Yuri. "Anyway don't forget to arrange us a private viewing when I'm free to see it with Victor."

"I won't sir."

A private viewing of course. It's sweet and generous of Yuuri, to reserve the entire exhibition for the two of them only, he prefers to enjoy the artworks with Victor even though Victor isn't much of an art lover but it's so sweet. Or it could have been sweet if Victor didn't know the real reason behind a private show is that Yuuri can't be seen with him in the public opening.

They do have casual public dates, it's mostly exclusive dinners and private shows and reserved shopping trips, but never something of a social function, a formal date, a business party. Not a chance to introduce him as his boyfriend. It's fine to be seen together, as long as it's in the shadows. 

"Okay I'll be leaving now, I don't have much today so after I finish I'll come to pick you up to go shopping and have dinner together, okay baby?"

"Yes I can't wait!" Victor hugs him excitedly and Yuuri captures his lips a short lovely kiss. All that in front of Yuri and Otabek. And it makes Victor ecstatic, every time they kiss in front of them, because they can see them being intimate with each other. If they are hiding from the world at least someone can witness on what they have.

"Oh and unpack for me baby, you will find all your presents in the bags." 

Victor lightens up and jumps on Yuuri wrapping his long limbs around his body. "Yay! Thank you daddy." And he kisses him shamelessly to the point Otabek and Yuri turn their eyes away. 

When they pull back Victor gets off him, and it's apparent how Yuuri is embarrassed to be French kissed and called daddy in front of his employees who have to act like they don't exist. And Victor doesn't care he won't miss a chance to be publicly affectionate to Yuuri without causing a trouble.

"See you later, baby." Yuuri plants one last kiss on his nose and gestures for Yuri and Otabek to go with him and they leave. 

Victor calls for Makkachin and takes him to the bed to cuddle with him lazily now he's free.

 

********

"So you are not coming tonight with us?" Sara hands Victor his juice cup while he collapses on a seat. She's present in the rehearsals to take promotional photos of the backstage, and the plan was to go shopping with him and Mila.

Victor takes the cup in appreciation and takes a sip from the straw. "Nope! We are going together out, finally! I miss going out with him so much!"

"Oh yeah he's been away for a long time. I didn't even think you will make it today after you are finally reunited together, not to mention walking straight on the runway, I mean how you are not limping?" She winks knowingly, making him giggle in shyness.

"I mean Mila said you were a total mess yesterday, he came after you at the changing room! And you did look like a mess when I was shooting you, even after you fixed your hair and makeup and changed your clothes!" She adds in a teasing tone and Victor blushes like a virgin and takes another sip of his drink.

"We just kissed! Okay?!" He says defensively in attempt hide his embarrassment.

"Yeah yeah, just kissed that you came in your pants!"

"Oh my!! How did you know about that?" 

"There's no other reason you took the pants with you! God Sally was furious when she discovered one of her pieces were missing!" 

"Well I can't leave her my dirty laundry Sara, can I?"

She squeals in excitement that it flutters him. "Fuck that's so hot! Imagine fucking your boss under everyone's nose! Victor you are living the life!"

Yeah sure must be fun living the secret fantasy. But fantasies aren't real, and secrets must be kept hidden from everyone. That's their relationship. 

"Do you want to have it?" He asks bitterly, meaning the whole package of it, not just the dirty public sex with the figure of authority.

"You mean your hot daddy? Sure!"

"Shut up bitch. And aren't you homosexual?!"

"I can certainly identify as moneysexual but not all of us are as lucky as you." She says it nonchalantly, with no teasing or shading, just jokingly.

But it hurts Victor like hell, what her words are implying to is hurting him. Sara is also one of the few who know exactly the nature of their relationship. But she's also very aware that it's not just money based, because she is the one who took him in her arms when he was weeping that he loved Yuuri so much for real. So she's well aware of his real feelings. Yet she says something so hurtful, of course she means no harm. It's just it hits Victor that this is how anyone will view their relationship, when it's much more than that. At least to him. And he does a little when he imagines that's how Yuuri view their relationship. 

He sighs, tired. And gets up. "I'm going to change now. See you later. Maybe when Chris arrives next week we all can hang out together."

"Sure, see ya.." 

On the way he receives a text from Yuuri, informing him he's finally here, and it forms a smile on his lips.

Victor enters the dressing room wordlessly. There are two or three models laughing and talking while changing their clothes, and Victor walks in unnoticed by them at the room crowded with articles of clothes.

"I still can't accept it, ten years of experience with the biggest fashion named from Paris to Milan to LA , shoots with biggest magazines for the biggest editoroals. And I end up walking behind that twat?! I rejected a campaign with Armani for this!" Victor overhears one of them complaining, and it's not hard to guess he's the twat the model referred to.

"Maybe if you weren't an idiot you wouldn't reject an Armani for this, you just deserve what you get." Another one answers sarcastically.

"I'm an idiot. But you don't get it, with Armani I was going to be just another model, and I thought with my qualifications if I accept this one I can be the main model for the collection. You know sometimes better to be a big fish in a small tank. And I end up like that. What does that paper pale twat had to be the face of the model? What did he do when he is a nobody in the industry?!"

"He's the CEO's whore, that's what he did. You don't know cause you are new, but he made him an exclusive contract to be the face of the label when he literally was nobody. And everyone can see they are fucking, hell they even fuck here!"

It's nothing new to hear this. Victor has heard it countless times, and he is very good at pretending he never heard anything. Even if some people had the guts to say it in his face. He can pretend it doesn't affect him, isn't directed to him, he doesn't care. But he also ends up thinking; Yuuri's better than this. 

"Bet that bitch gets paid to fuck his boss'asspussy, sure that Katsuki can be his slut, he looks like such a begging cockslut who would pay to get gang raped.. Maybe even closing deals by whoring himself to other men..giving heads under the meeting tables." 

Their hideous laughter fill the room like razor cuts and Victor feels nauseous, almost throws up on hearing the disgusting words about his lover. "He does look like he needs a good dick, but does Nikiforov even have one?" His anger boils the blood in his vessels and he only sees red. Let them say what they want about him, he doesn't give a fuck. But they dare to bring Yuuri's name on their filthy tongues Victor won't hesitate to rip off their heads.

Victor is quick to appear before the three of them, and their laughing faces pale in horror. 

But before he can open his mouth, he's surprised by a hand clutching his shoulder, and he turns to see it's Yuuri beside him. Yuuri is standing there, and a big venomous smile on his face. Victor's heart flips in excitement. Yuuri usually comes to the changing room to find Victor when thinks he's alone. He must have heard everything while lurking out of sight. And the smell of his calm rage is too sweet. 

The three models stand in their places looking like they are facing death. 

Yuuri walks closer to them, crossing his arms, still smiling. "Go on please, don't stop. I enjoy hearing exciting stories about myself." 

Their eyes are dragged to the ground by gravity, unable to keep their heads up. They are ruined and Victor feels high on the smell of their fear. 

Yuuri turns his back to them looking at Victor with a gentle grin as he holds his phone. Victor grins back to him in anticipation for a revenge. Yuuri isn't going to do something too risky as beating their ass up or setting them up in a crime or something. He's going to act within his limits. And his limits can go as far as they can. So the least of what he can do is to make sure their feet never step on a catwalk again. 

After minutes of nerve wrecking silence, Yuri and Mrs Rachel the HR manager come in.

"So Yuri, I would like you to inform my attorney to prepare for a lawsuit for defamation of character. They don't have to work hard about it, I've got on my phone a very nice clear recording of a public slander by these gentlemen."

"Yes sir, I'll do it at once."

"Mr Katsuki, please, you misunderstood...it's--" The one who started all this looks on the verge of crying, almost keeling before Yuuri, who stands with the same calm smile on his face. He gives the illusion like he is willing to listen to justification, but the guy is struck silent, unable to make up an excuse.

Yuuri is still gazing him with his scary calm demeanor. "Yuri remind me again how much did we win in the last case?"

"Two million dollars sir." Yuri answers, face neutral as ever. And Yuuri smirks to the three of them who realize they are fucked.

"I hope your savings are enough to help you, it breaks my heart that they are what's left for you. Maybe you can find new jobs that can support you, you know like for Armani..that of course if you manage to find another jobs!" 

They are doomed. 

"Mrs Rachel as a head of the HR please deal with this since this can be considered as a violation of the contract. And Yuri call Phichit to see what he can do." 

He proceeds to give the set of instructions to them while Victor stares in fascination as Yuuri destroys lives. Then Yuuri walks up to them, shifts his eyes between the three terrified faces. His own face is stone cold like the impersonation of death and Victor is turned on.

He cocks his head to the side with narrow eyes."Now I don't want to see your faces near this place ever again." Yuuri threatens so calmly, then they run away like freaked out rats, making Victor chuckles humorlessly . 

"Now, we need to find three models for the show which is the day after tomorrow. Sally is going to flip." Yuuri announces, a troubled look on his face. 

 

**********

Victor is one minute away from unbuckling Yuuri's belt as they sloppily kiss when Yuuri stops him.

"Baby boy I don't want to take you in the car now. Be patient till we go home."

Victor's fingers sneak inside Yuuri's shirt, eyes heavy with want and lips bruised by the hungry kisses. "But you are so hot when you are angry daddy. I want you to fuck me hard until you split me in half, I want you feel my insides sore and painful from how lost you became inside me. I need you to fuck me so hard that I beg you to stop but you don't stop.. " Victor declares as he throws his heated body over Yuuri, and he senses Yuuri's lustful gasps.. He clutches at his hair drawing a low moan from Yuuri, and kisses the life out of him..

Victor takes his lips between his teeth, pushes his tongue inside his mouth, Victor twists his head to devour his lover at every angle.

"Baby boy not in the car!" Yuuri pants, face is too pained to draw back, he wants to do every single thing victor asked him to do, but his self control is admirable and it drives Victor insane. He groans in frustration when Yuuri untangle himself from his needy grip and adjusts in his seat to start the car.

"Why not? We've done it many times." Victor protests, crossing his arms and pouting sulkily. It makes Yuuri laugh, how cute his baby is. 

"The seat belt baby, and yes we've done it before but it's always when we need a quicky. Tonight I want to properly have you." Yuuri says, eyes on the road, a hand on the steering wheel and with the second hand he takes Victor's and kisses it's knuckles. 

Victor fights to prevent his pout from being replaced with an excited smile, but he does want this now. So Yuuri will build up the excitement and wait till the end of the day, and it feels incredible when does it but also the wait is painful. Victor just gives up and imagines the wild scenarios ahead of them later this night. He'll be a good boy and wait. It's enough to closely watch the handsome profile of his lover. 

"I still can't believe you were actually about to beat them." Yuuri shakes his head, a trace of humor in his voice. 

"Of course I would!" Victor answers proudly. "I couldn't handle them badmouthing you like this. Gosh I wanted to rip them with my teeth!"

"Save your pearly teeth for my flesh."

Victor whispers, impressed "Kinky!" And Yuuri chuckles. 

But then Victor's face turns serious recalling their disgusting words. "But I'm really sorry you had to listen to this Yuuri. Disgusting motherfuckers! I wish you weren't there."

"I was at the perfect place and at the perfect timing. I can't imagine what could've happened if I weren't there. You would have really physically engaged to them like an idiot without thinking. You were acting foolishly Victor."

"Defending you is foolish?" Victor's voice is defensive and aggressive. 

"Things can't always be solved with violence. It's reckless and foolish. There are other ways to handle things, and more effective than a macho fight. You should have controlled your anger."

"Yuuri are you serious? These fuckers literally said you pay to get.. I can't even repeat the words. And you ask me to control my anger? Hello!"

"Okay but have you thought of the consequences? They were three and you were on your own, and no offense Vitya but you are not really the fighter type."

"I can't believe this! So it's about this? You see me this way? Vulnerable and weak that I can't defend myself? Want to try my punch to see for how long you'll faint?"

"Rude!" Yuuri warns, and Victor knows the indication of this tone. 

He looks from the window, a big frown wrinkling his forehead. "I'm sorry." 

But Yuuri notices how sulky got, so his hand reach Victor's thigh, rubbing it intimately that it makes Victor squirm under his skillful touch.

"Baby boy it's not that I see you weak. It's just I didn't want you to get hurt. I wouldn't risk the face of our main model having a scratch two days away from the show."

Victor eyes him coldly. "Well I'm sure you can hire a new model for your silly show."

Yuuri pinches his thigh that it makes Victor gasp. He smirks."We can't find someone with your distinctive features Vitya. They are our trademark."

Victor shifts in his seat as Yuuri's naughty hand crawl upper nearer to the dangerous zone. "Maybe you can use Lucky Blue Smith. You know he's all pretty and platinum hair and blue eyes. I'm sure he will do." 

"But Vitya, he will never be as good as you. No one will ever be." 

Victor bites his lower lip, suppressing a pleased smile. He tries to control his struggling breathing until Yuuri takes his hand off him now he's sure Victor is calmer and hornier. A sadistic bastard!

After a while the silence prevails the ride and Victor huffs. So he puts on some music to entertain himself. Summertime Sadness blasts and as Victor softly sings along the lyrics "I got my red dress on tonight, dancing in the dark in the pale moonlight.." 

Yuuri shakes his head. "She's so repetitive, all her songs sound the same."

Victor gasps in shock, offended. "Excuse me? What did you just say?"

"I said what I said and it's true." A playful smile appears on his lips. 

"I can't believe you dare to badmouth my queen. What do you even know about music? The only music you used to listen to before I came in your life was the elevator's waiting music!" 

Yuuri chuckles in amusement. And Victor goes on his rant. "You don't get how genius she is. She's practically my god mother, her songs are literally the anthems of sugar babies with tasteless daddies."

Yuuri howls laughing as he cluches the wheel. "She only sings about four five things; her red dress and partying, the American flag, Marylin and Elvis, how she wants to die, and how she loves her abusive daddy!"

"That's not true! As if you even know any of her songs!"

"Oh I do know. I know enough to sing along every song you like of hers, I can even sing the parts containing the same references."

"You want a challenge then Mr Katsuki Yuuri? I'll give you one! Five songs where she mentions her dress!"

"One..money is the anthem of success, so put on mascara and your party dress. Two..I'm in his favorite sundress watch me get undressed, take your body downtown. Three, I know that I'm a mess with my long hair, and my suntan, short dress, bare feet. Four, Put your red dress on, put your lipstick on, sing your song, son. Five, Likes to watch me in the glass room, bathroom, Chateau Marmont, slipping on my red dress, putting on my makeup. Bang!"

Victor stares at him in amazement, in disbelief that Yuuri actually knows all the lyrics with the references. Yuuri smiles in victorious satisfaction.

"Need more proof my sweetie?"

Victor stutters, not sure what to say. "What.. How do you know all this?"

"Vitya I've listened to them countless times with you. I even know your so called your biography playlist."

"Shut up I don't even know them."

Yuuri laughs seeing his embarrassment. "Should I start naming the songs? Or even favorite verses..  
So I murder love in the night,  
watching them fall one by one in the night..  
do you think you'll love me too, ooh, ooh?  
Baby, I'm a sociopath--" 

Yuuri start a to sing teasingly that Victor shouts cutting him off "Shut up!" 

"He likes my jeans tight (Yeah)  
He likes me mean, right (Right)  
He likes my long hair  
Corset, heels high--"

"Yuuri stop! I'll jump out of the car!"

"My pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola  
My eyes are wide like cherry pies  
I got sweet taste for men who're older  
It's always been so it's no surprise--"

Victor groans in irritation and hides his flushed face in his hands, Yuuri bursts laughing..

"I have to admit her music is something, who am I kidding? I'm addicted to her boring repetitive songs.. So you've got a sweet taste for men who're older Vitya?"

"Shut up please!"

Yuuri continues to cackle joyfully, and sweetly pinches Victor's cheek. And Victor giggles in embarrassment, heart dancing in his chest at Yuuri's beautiful carefree laughs. 

Then Victor softly sings:  
"Yeah my boyfriend's pretty cool  
But he's not as cool as me  
'Cause I'm a Brooklyn baby  
I'm a Brooklyn baby"

 

********

"This looks perfect on you baby boy. We'll take it." 

Victor giggles as he checks himself at the body length mirror. "You say this when I try anything."

"Everything is perfect on you." Yuuri's tongue darts to the sweet skin of Victor's cheek, shamelessly licking on it. 

"Yuuri..are you the one who is seducing me now?"

"Just a little taste of your sweetness.." 

Making out at fancy stores incredibly large fitting rooms isn't something new. Naturally Yuuri reserves whole boutiques they frequent when they shop. Occasionally they go inside any store, but Yuuri loves making the entire store a fitting room for Victor. The store staff of course welcome their ultra VIP customer and devote the entire store and pieces at their service, serving them fancy drinks and treats.

"Yuuri! Can I ask you to buy me something?" Victor hold out two matching pastel shirts.

Yuuri is quick to reply. "Anything for you." Until he realizes that Victor is holding out a couple shirts to him. 

"What..are these?" Yuuri asks in skepticism.

"It's couple shirts!" Victor exclaims cutely with his best wide puppy eyes.

"I'm aware, and they are for?"

"Please please, daddy! I want us to wear them, please. Not at public of course but at home. Please!"

Yuuri can't resists how adorable he is, all bright eyes and tiny pouts. Rolling his eyes at the fluffy silliness of his boy, he nods. "Okay we will get them!"

Victor beams at him like a kid. This can be really silly, but it's always the small silly things that get him. 

They leave with many bags held for them to their car. And Yuuri drives them to a nearby restaurant. 

And they enjoy the carefully picked dinner. Just as they are finishing, Victor gets an unexpected call. 

"Who is it baby?"

"My mom. It's late in St Petersburg now! I'll take this." 

Victor is in regular contact with his mother. Maybe his father has separated them but he couldn't prevent them from calling each other. She doesn't know a lot about his life although she interrogates him everytime he calls about how he lives and if he eats well and so on. She knows he's having a stable modelling career now and living well, she knows he has a boyfriend though he never talks about him. 

"Vitya my baby, how are you? I miss you so much." 

"Mama! I miss you too!" Victor coos in Russian, too happy to hear his mother's loving voice.

"Tell me my little sun are you fine?"

"Yes mama. I'm fine. So happy to hear from you."

"I miss you so much baby. I have good news for you!"

Victor's heart leaps in anticipation. What does she have? Could it be..

"I'm coming to New York!"

"Really? Are you serious mama?"

"Yes! I'll be there by the noon after tomorrow. Your father is coming on a business trip and he couldn't stop me from tagging along! I can't wait to see you!"

"Mama I'm so so happy. This is amazing, I can't believe I'm seeing you. It's been too long!" Victor tears up in happiness, and it draws Yuuri's curiosity. 

Victor whispers to him in English "My mom is coming after tomorrow!"

Yuuri smiles warmly. "Really?! that's fantastic Victor. Invite her for the show."

He beams at the idea and says enthusiastically, "Mama, I have a fashion show at the same day! Come and watch me!"

"Of course baby I can't believe I'll see you slaying the runway and looking stunning! I'm so proud of you. Where's Dimitri to come and see you starring fashion shows on your own."

"Yeah let's not mention papa now, mama."

The call ends happily after a long chat despite knowing they are meeting soon. Victor can't believe his mother finally got permission to meet him. It's been more than a year and half since they last met, and skyping isn't enough to make up. His father! 

But Victor can no longer resent or blame his father. Not just because he finally understands his point of view for doing this to him, which Victor does now. He's actually grateful his father did this to him, not because he's a changed person learnt to be a responsible adult, he's far from that. Actually it made him worse. And that's what he's grateful for. His dad led him to his daddy..to his Yuuri.

He's grateful his father threw him out of his house. He doesn't miss a bit of his old life, he doesn't want any life where Yuuri doesn't exist. When his mother told him she had a surprise, he thought she meant that his father changed his mind and decided to take him back under his wing. Which is unthinkable at this point. He wouldn't have accepted to go back and give up Yuuri. 

But what will he do if..when Yuuri decides it's enough? It's inevitable, Victor can only think about it this way. Yuuri will be so kind when he lets go of him, he sure will secure his job with unrealistic income to support his expensive life, and probably give a very generous thank you gift, and an incurable heartbreak. 

When will it happen? 

Victor stares at himself in the mirror, eyes absorbing every detail of his sharp and delicate features. He won't accept anything looking out of place, imperfect. The only thing he owns and can give is his perfect aesthetic appeal, if he doesn't look perfect then what's left for him to offer? 

Victor glances at Yuuri who is standing by the glass window, still in his suit, talking on the phone in rapid Japanese. He's frowning, calm but obviously angry. So hot, just like Victor likes. 

Yuuri rubs his forehead, and despite the foreign language he's mumbling in, he appears to be sending a warning. 

When his eyes meet Victor's, Victor softly smiles at him. It softens Yuuri's tension for a bit, but not fully. So Victor resorts to an alternative, and decides to put on an entertaining show of stripping. He succeeds in gaining his attention as Yuuri finishes the call to start Victor.

Yuuri walks over Victor, a smug grin on the face and wolfish look in his eyes. Victor invites him in with his bedroom eyes as he falls on the bed, thighs wide open and arms above his head, offering himself completely to him.

"Daddy, you made me a promise.." 

Yuuri's knee touchs the bed edge, willing to climb up. He starts to take off his formal wear, still grinning. "I promised my baby to fuck him good and hard to make hi. sore.. To split him open.. To beg me to stop.. And you've been tasting my patience for too long that I don't think I'll stop.. " Yuuri gets rid of the last of his pieces and he lands on Victor..

"Ahhh daddy.."

And Yuuri keeps his promise to make Victor beg him to stop. Yuuri loses himself in fucking him into the mattress, drawing desperate screams out of him, hanging him on the edge of coming without letting him go. He thrusts mercilessly into his sweet spot, robbing Victor from his breaths. 

Yuuri's monstrous stamina forces two orgasms out of Victor and the third is on the way, all this and Yuuri himself still hasn't come for once. During this Victor's skin is painted with reds and blues and greens, flesh crafted with bruises, scratches, hickeys, bites, fingerprints..

Finally Yuuri explodes like fireworks, tainting the insides of Victor with his generous fluid, but he goes on with persistence bounding and thrusting violently with primitive need into Victor, to rip him apart with a third climax..

The air is scented with the raw musk of sex, with a background symphony of sounds of airless moans and gasps and screams, the slapping of damp skin and flesh. And suddenly Yuuri's thunderous rhythm is interrupted with the mocking ringing of Yuuri's phone. 

Yuuri attempts to avoid the ringing, focusing on destroying Victor. But he can't. It's a call he has been waiting for..

Yuuri stops moving, eyes sneaking to the phone screaming on the nightstand. Victor whines in pain, eyes wet with pleasure tears, he bounces his breached ass desperately, frantically demanding attention. He looks over his shoulder to see Yuuri conflicted to reach for his phone..

"Don't you dare!!" Victor warns with the abused hoarse voice, gritting his teeth.

Yuuri looks genuinely freaked out. "I'm sorry baby just this..one minute I swear. This is a twenty million call.."

Victor groans in surrender, and Yuuri takes the call in Japanese, one hand massaging Victor's heated back and sides as a compensation. Victor can't handle the pressure on his hard cock from Yuuri's weight, so he senselessly starts to grind it to the mattress.. 

He can't handle the wait so he starts to fuck himself to Yuuri's member inside of him, tightening and clutching on him causing Yuuri to yelp in the middle of the call..

Victor glances at him with a victorious smile, watching Yuuri trying to keep his calmness without scandalizing the caller with s sexual noise. Yuuri gives him a warning look as he pulls out of him as a punishment, still talking..and Victor collapses on his back in frustration, a glistening swollen monster between his bruised thighs..

"Noooo.. Yuuri I'll die.." Victor whines loudly that Yuuri places his hand over his mouth to shut him, and Victor bites his palm. Yuuri holds back a pained scream to not embarrass himself with his employee, and finally after ages he finishes the call.. 

"I'm dying here!" Victor shouts when he catches Yuuri still on the phone fingers swarming across the screen..

"Hold on baby, just this email.."

"Yuuri I swear if you don't fuck me now I'll Fuck your phone instead.."

Yuuri bursts laughing.."Okay okay I'm done now, although I wonder how you will look like doing it.." He smirks,voice filled with challenge.

"Oh you are wondering? Worst daddy ever!" And at the blink of an eye, Victor steals the phone from Yuuri's hand and positions it to his hard cock..

And Yuuri gapes, staring in utter shock at Victor actually pressing the phone to his hardness, frantically rubbing his cock and humping the poor thing with his whole power body shaking with waves of pleasure as he gets closer to his release..

"Aaah.. I.. I'm too..close.. Ah..ah.. Watch me..daddy..as I fuck your..damn phone.. So..every.. Ah ah.. Every time it keeps you.. Haaa..busy from me..you..will remember.. Hmmm.. Me like this.. Oh fuck.. Fuck.." Victor moans sinfully, voice straight from hells.. Demons can't look this sinful.. Angels can look this beautiful.. 

And Yuuri can't blink, doesn't dare to waste a moment..he is just in a frozen state. Paralyzed and incapable, but his cock coming to life like a beast starving for ages. He should stop him..this is his business phone! But he can't stop him, he doesn't want to.

So he watches the phone getting assaulted, Victor rubbing it along his length, applying the proper pressure, reaching his hand behind thrusting three fingers at once in his hungery hole. At one point even sticking the edge of the phone inside his orifice while pumping his cock. Then brings it back to his exploding penis and the object is flooded with white streaks of Victor's come as he screams at his release.

"Ahhh.. So good.. Haaa.." 

It happened.. Yuuri's minds tries to process it..

Victor's chest rises up and down, snatching the air inside his lungs, eyes closed..

With passing moments, Yuuri watches Victor gaining back his calmness. Victor opens one eye glancing at Yuuri, then he lets out the brightest giggle. "Your phone is so good.."

He hands him the sticky object, and Yuuri takes it, eyeing it like it's an alien fell from the space.

The heat floods his face, and suddenly he feels very ashamed.. Unlike Victor who is splayed on the bed looking too proud of himself.

Yuuri's hand holding the phone trembles, like he's not sure what to do with the sticky thing. He pointlessly wipes it clean in the sheets, like it's a normal thing.. 

"Wow... You fucked..my phone for real!"

Victor closes his eyes in satisfaction, face blessed. "I did."

"And..you came..on it.. My phone.."

He opens his eyes, cheerfully nodding. "I came."

"You..seem proud of yourself.."

"I am." Victor smiles cutely, too purely for what he has just done. 

"Well, at least..it made you happy."

Victor shifts on his side, offering a delicious full view of his back and ass like what he's done isn't already enough to Fuck Yuuri out of his mind.. He looks at him over his shoulder.."It made me!" 

Yuuri is too distracted by everything to form a coherent sentence. Then Victor shifts again on his four in front of him, flushed sweaty face too close to Yuuri's.. 

And Yuuri forgets to breath as his eyes take in the too close perfect just fucked face of Victor. He looks like a creature out of this universe. Bright blue eyes too wide too sparkling, lips bloody red swollen and bruised, nose and cheeks painted rosey. His hair is like scattered rays of silver sunshine, and skin glowing with sweat..

Too ethereal too pure too beautiful, he's pouting with wide eyes, playing innocent.. "Daddy you are not mad at me, are you?"

"I.. I guess..it's what I deserve..for neglecting your needs baby boy.." 

Victor squeaks in glee and throws his limbs around him, causing Yuuri to hit the mattress. 

Then he holds up the phone to his face, testing it.. "Wow.. It's still working! No damage done then."

Victor, still clinging to him with his life, throws an caring look on it. "Wow yeah apple good quality." Then he snatches the phone from him again and tosses it away that Yuuri can't catch where it landed.

But Victor, distracts him with a wet kiss and when it's over, Yuuri finally chuckles. "You must be hating that phone a lot."

And he replies with a lovely grin. "Very much.."

"Well it's my dear phone. I've loved it a lot, guess I'll have to revenge for it now.." He rolls them until they switch positions, laying on top of Victor who is uncontrollably laughing. 

"Now I'm giving you a taste of the same cup." 

And he starts on his revenge, drawing sweet laughs and whimpers from Victor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rip Victor's phone lol
> 
> When I said phone sex, I meant literal phone sex..  
> I know I suck at smut but at least Victor got a nice phongasm.. 
> 
> I hope that chapter was good enough, I don't want it to feel boring or empty.. And I hope the dynamics of their relationship are sweet enough to make you invested in their relationship. 
> 
> Anyway, Victor refers here to model Lucky Blue Smith, who has a platinum blonde era where he was just too Victor-y..
> 
> Yayoi Kusama is a legendary artist, love her work. Also Takashi Murakami, a pop art legend. Check their works  
> I wanted to sneak in more art references since investing in and collecting art is a very wealthy men hobby and fits with Yuuri's character so maybe next chapters..
> 
> For Lana Del Rey... Queen!  
> Don't tell me that Lana Del Rey isn't the queen of sugar babies, she's actually the godmother of sugar Vitya. Her songs are all about this, specially her older ones. I love her so much. The last verse Victor sings "Yeah my boyfriend is very cool but he's not as cool as me" is basically my favorite line from my favorite song Brooklyn baby. 
> 
> Anyway here's names of songs that fit to be Vitya's biography playlist(im to lazy to put links) :  
> Without you  
> Shades of cool  
> Serial killer  
> National anthem  
> Pretty when you cry  
> Honeymoon  
> Lucky ones  
> Queen of disaster  
> Lolita  
> Hit and run  
> Diet Mountain Dew  
> Dangerous girl  
> Blue Jeans  
> Cola  
> Carmen  
> Brooklyn baby  
> Maybe her entire discography xD 
> 
> So if you're a fan tell me your favorite. 
> 
> Thanks for reading. I hope you really enjoyed


	3. Chapter 3

"I missed you so much my darling. I can't believe I'm finally seeing you again!" Victor's mother coos at him, reaching her hand to caress his cheek, and Victor leans to the loving touch. 

"I was so restless the whole day to see you mama. When I was on the runway and glimpsed at your face I seriously wanted to get off and hug you." He says as he takes her hand and closes it to his mouth, planting a light kiss on it. 

He stares for too long at the perfect features he has missed for almost two years. She never ages or loses her beauty.

Victor and his mother had agreed to meet for dinner after the show, and he has no problem to ditch the after party of which he was supposed to be the star. Seeing her among the rows of guests motivated him to do his best. As a result the show was spectacular, and maybe he stole the attention from the designs he was modelling. 

Victor isn't a professional model with a long experience. He's barely two years into this profession. But his charisma and presence are undeniable, he manages to make all eyes follow him on the catwalk as he effortlessly flows like a liquid. Many could you think that modelling is just walk and look pretty, but there are many aspects that make a successful model. 

And as expected Victor slayed that show, walked the runway like he owned it, all confident and sure of himself. The front seats were occupied with the most important clients, big name critics and fashion journalists, and famous celebrities. Also among them was Yuuri, of course as the CEO of the brand. And at one point when Victor passed by him, he sneaked to him a little smirk, hoping no one would notice. And Yuuri immediately smirked back. 

After the show at the privacy of Victor's individual changing room, Yuuri took him in luscious kiss that turned into a fast make out session. Yuuri had to be with everyone then, had to make sure about the success of the collection, the orders made, to accompany the VIP guests, and to celebrate with the designer and the rest if the team. But instead he was lustfully devouring Victor like it was the end of the world. 

"You have no idea how delicious you looked! I want to eat every piece of you, yummy!" Yuuri growled the yummy, biting Victor's shoulder lightly, and Victor laughed.

"I didn't know you had a vore kink. I would let you eat me out any day daddy." Victor told him, then pressed his lips to Yuuri's, thrusting his tongue inside the hot mouth and licking the velvety softness of it. 

 

Yuuri retreated from the frantic kiss, his hands were still roaming over Victor's naked torso. His eyes were mixture of dark lust and reluctant regret. "I would like to swallow you a whole right now, but unfortunately I have to get back to the after party, I hope they haven't noticed my absence."

Victor's face went disappointed, he pouted cutely. "Right, and mama is waiting for me too, so I have to go."

"Oh right, you are meeting her. I hope you have a good time with her, baby." Yuuri said as he adjusted his tie. 

"Won't you come and say hi to her? We are meeting at the hotel's restaurant, it's practically near the party." Victor asked, putting on his shirt as he were getting ready.

"I can't baby boy, you know how busy I'm right now."

"But it will only take ten minutes! Just come introduce yourself and leave, it's rude to be nearby and you don't greet her you know. It's not like your business will collapse if you are a little late, you have many directors for that!" He argued in hope of changing Yuuri's mind. Victor really needed the two most important people of his life to meet.

"Victor, I can't." Yuuri said with emphasis on his incapability. And Victor didn't get it at first. 

 

"Just five minutes Yuuri! She wants to see you, you are my.." Suddenly he stopped as realization struck. And Victor finally got it. He got why Yuuri can't. Also Yuuri was his what?

His eyes were apologetic, Yuuri has always been kind, and that was him being kind at that moment. That was him silently refusing to meet Victor's mother because what was Victor to him more than a lovely paid companion. Yuuri couldn't meet her not because he was busy, but because he couldn't be seen in such situation with Victor. He was lying to his mother about having a boyfriend, did he fall for his own lie? Was the delusion he indulged himself in finally taking toll on his mind? 

What a delusional stupid, Victor thought to himself.

Victor lowered his eyes to the ground, trying to hide the hurt expression. The last thing he wanted to do was to guilt Yuuri for something he completely had the right to. Wasn't that their deal? Why was he then acting like an angsty teenager whose fantasy for ruined? 

"You should go to the party now." He suggested, trying to keep his tone neutral. But the disappointment was shaking his voice. 

"Victor.." Yuuri stepped towards him, reaching his hands to hold him, but Victor was fast to reject his comforting touch. He turned his back to him. "Go now Yuuri. I need to go too, let me change my clothes, please." 

He heard Yuuri's deep sigh as he took his leave. And Victor was fighting the tears away.

And now here he is, faking his best camera smile in front of his beloved mother. His happiness about their meeting should be enough for him to generate a genuine smile. However, it can't replace the bitternes on his tongue with the sweetness of their reunion. 

He prays she doesn't notice the blues of his mood. After all she came all this way to make sure he's well and happy. Which he truly is, it's just a..bad timing. There has to be a moment during the day..for every day when he realizes he's living a lie, he's happy but it's a lie. 

"This restaurant is nice, the showroom was too, the whole hotel is so sophisticated and prestigious. Dimitri and I should have stayed here." She comments and eats a forkful of her steak. 

The hotel belongs to Yuuri's group. 

"Yes it's one of my favorite places. Also I come to this restaurant often to have dinner." With Yuuri, at a VIP private dining room of course. What better can guarantee the confidentiality of their dates? 

"Anyway, back to the show. Darling, you rocked it! I couldn't take my eyes off you! How handsome and charming! I've been to many fashion shows baby, and by far you are the best model I've seen. And you know I have a critical eye!"

Victor chuckles. "Mama you are exaggerating because I'm your son. I'm nowhere near the best."

"What? Are you kidding me? Of course you are. Since when you became this humble?"

Since he realized he's actually a worthless doll. Victor was so vain, boasting his looks and showing off what he got, craving attention, and demanding to be the center. But that changed long ago. 

He snorts a small laugh. "Since I became self-aware. I'm really nothing big mama. Honestly I'm not even that good at modelling."

"Don't you dare to say that, what happened to you my darling? You used to value yourself too well. I don't like your belittling tone. You are too amazing to underestimate yourself like this! God I want to strangle him for making you like this! It's his fault! My darling don't let what happened to you affect you negatively."

"Mama I'm trying to change to the better. I don't really blame papa for doing what he did. He wants the best for me."

"Oh baby you are too forgiving. He doesn't deserve your forgiveness. He's just a heartless man who isn't worthy of a son like you. Listen Victor, you are not born for struggling. Some people are just meant to lead a comfortable life. They simply can't survive a life where they are not served and answered. It's their nature! They can't change that. But you baby, you don't know how I'm proud of you. That you are fighting your nature to work hard and achieve success."

Victor restrains his rage. His mother's words mean he's useless, incapable of depending on himself. And it's true. He's still living like this. "I'm barely working hard mama."

"The most important thing for me is for you to be happy. You father can go to hell."

"I am. I'm happy." Partially. 

"That's good. And your boyfriend, is he making you happy?"

"More than anything." He doesn't hesitate to answer. Yuuri is his happiness and misery. Just a moment ago he was feeling awful because of him, but on mentioning him his mood instantly lightens up. What is Yuuri but a man of unexplained paradox and contradictions. 

"Oh I'm glad. But I really wanted to meet him. I need to make sure he's a good guy. Victor, he's not using you, is he?"

"No mama! I'm not that gullible to let someone use me." He answer defensively. His harsh tone makes her flinch. 

"Just making sure baby. You know how protective I'm."

There's an awkward pause when they silently eat their food with a lost appetite. Victor can no longer mask his irritation and disappointment. And he is even madder at himself for making his mother sensing it. But he can't help it, she's triggering all his self doubts and dark thoughts. 

"You never told me though. What does he work? You barely told me anything about him."

He clears his throat after a large gulp of wine. "He is a businessman."

Her eyes dance with joy. "Really? I hope he's loaded."

Victor's nose flares in attempt to inhale a deep breath. "Does it really matter?"

"Of course it does! Why would you waste your time with someone who can't afford you a good life? In fact, I was counting on that when you left."

"Counting in what?"

"On finding a wealthy man to take care of you. I knew you couldn't do it on your own, you needed someone like that my darling. And you were surrounded with many admirers who would have paid half of their lives to be with you. Any man is lucky to have you as a lover, and it's their job to provide you with the class of life you are used to."

He can't take it anymore, it feels like suffocation. All the air is escaping his chest and replaced with fury. 

"Excuse me. I have to go to the washroom." He doesn't want for her permission and rushes to isolate himself in the empty bathroom. 

Things are just getting worse. He is being faced with the truth, that's how it is. But he's too coward to accept it, to even sit through the slander. It makes him hate himself even more. Especially when these brutal words are mouthed by his own mother. His mother who is at fault herself. It's all attributed to his upbringing, and now the effects of him being spoiled rotten are overwhelming him. With every passing day, his sense of insecurity and worthlessness is magnifying. 

He drags a deep cool breath to put out the burn in his chest. How what supposed to be a lovely meeting with his missed mother turns into a torturing session? 

Victor takes few more relaxing breaths, in effort to calm himself. 

He shakes his head and decides to return. He can't waste the limited time he has with her being over dramatic.

When Victor exits the washroom and heads back, he glances at their table. It takes him a moment to notice that his mother is laughing, and as he gets closer he sees someone on the table with his back turned to him.

And Victor swears that the back is too familiar to recognize. 

It's Yuuri! 

Yuuri is sitting with his mother on the table, apparently making her laugh! And he must be dreaming.

The distance between himself and the table takes forever to get over. Finally he reaches the table, standing by his mother's side. Eyes too wide as he stares at Yuuri sitting few inches away from his mother, a polite smile on his handsome face.

"Victor you are back! Look who's here, your boyfriend is so nice." Victor's mother bats her lashes for Yuuri as she refers to him. Obviously she is taken by him.

Victor still finds it surreal. Yuuri is really here. The shocked look from Victor is met with a gentle one from Yuuri. Cautiously, he takes back his seat, eyes never leaving Yuuri's. "How are you here?" He asks, voice shaky and almost whispering. 

"Can you believe he took few moments from his time to introduce himself to me? Such a gentleman!" She answers instead of Yuuri. Happy at the thoughtful gesture. 

"You know my meeting is here at the hotel, so I sneaked out for few minutes. It's rude to not come and greet your mother Victor, she needd to meet her son's boyfriend."

"Bo..boyfriend?" Victor repeats in disbelief. Yuuri is really here with his mother, referring to himself as his goddamned boyfriend. 

His mother laughs cheerfully. "What Victor? Isn't he your boyfriend? Why are you acting odd?"

"Just surprised. I didn't expect to see Yuuri here." 

"But I'm here." Yuuri tells him, face so tender and voice so comforting. And it makes Victor's lips slowly form an appreciative smile. 

"But honestly, I like you a lot Yuuri. I never liked someone so fast. I see Victor chose right."

"It's a privilege ma'am. I was actually worried about what you would think of me." Yuuri laughs nervously, almost shy. And Victor finds him adorable. Is that the same sexy man who owns his world with power? The paradox of a man! 

"There's no way she wouldn't like you Yuuri. After all I take after my mama's taste." He winks to him, drawing a small chuckle from Yuuri. 

"And my tastes are very fine!" She confirms, giving him an agreeing nod. 

"A fine mother to a fine man. I'm really that lucky!" Smooth Yuuri, smooth.

After a glass of wine and few phrases of flattery and complimenting, Yuuri takes his leave. He stands on his feet, elegantly buttoning his jacket.

"I really enjoyed meeting you Mrs Nikiforova. You and your son are very alike, extremely gorgeous, irresistibly charming, and very fun to be around. The joy I usually get from Victor is doubled with your presence."

"Oh Yuuri, don't you ever stop your sweet talk? I'm melting here." She smiles as he takes her hand, printing a complimenting kiss on the knuckles.

"I only say the truth." He wiggles his eyebrows at Victor who is staring at him in awe. 

"Do you really have to leave now?" She whines playfully, much like Victor when he's whining with adorableness. 

"Unfortunately my time is limited, but I really wish to see you again. I hope you enjoy your stay here. Good bye." 

Then he leaves with the Nikiforovs hearts. 

"I just love your boyfriend." She declares.

"I love him too.." He agrees absentmindedly, eyes still following the leaving figure as he stalks out the restaurant.

Later on the night, Victor lays in the bed. Eyes fixed on sleeping Yuuri. His face is so pure, like a childhood innocence. Victor likes him when he's like this, so relaxed and carefree and surrendered to sleep. During his waking hours, his face is devastatingly handsome, but always tense and burdened. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders with a straight back, never bending or complaining. Another wonderful paradox of him. 

Victor traces his thick eyebrow with the tip of his finger, causing him to scrunch his face cutely. It makes Victor giggle in adoration. 

"Why are you still up?" Victor is flustered when he hears Yuuri mumbles with raspy voice, eyes still closed. He thought he was fast asleep watching his steady breathing and still body. 

"Can't sleep." Victor whispers, finger still smoothing the furrowed brow. 

Yuuri shifts closer to him, pressing his body to Victor's. He closes the distance between their faces in a gentle kiss. His hand extends to his back, rubbing circles all over it. And Victor feels so content, in peace. 

"Yuuri?" 

"Hmm?"

"Why did you come..to meet mama?" He asks in hesitance. There's a fear growing inside him. It makes him anxious, and he knows himself. He knows how his mind will take Yuuri's considerate gesture and twist it into something more poisonous to torment himself with. 

Yuuri slowly opens his eyes, and they are glowing under the faint moonlight bathing his gorgeous face. 

"Because you wanted me to. And I can't refuse you a request Vitya." He doesn't wait for a reply and silences Victor with another consuming kiss. 

And Victor isn't sure how to feel about his answer. Should he be satisfied with it? Should he doubt Yuuri's intentions? 

But it made him happy. He's still happy. 

"Thank you a lot Yuuri. It means so much to me. The smallest things you do for me make me the happiest." 

Yuuri gives him one last smile and his eyes chase the sleep. Shortly his eyelids give up, and he falls asleep. Victor follows moments later, a smile plastered to his sleeping face.

 

*********

The next few days pass in a blink, and Victor loses the sense of time as he spends most of it working. He couldn't meet up with his mother again with his hectic schedule and she's leaving. So the only convenient way for them is to send her off at the airport. 

So they plan to have a farewell meeting there, of course when she sneaks from his father for a while before the plane takes off.

His mother can't hold back her tears at her departure. And Victor hugs her tightly, murmuring soothing words to her in the ear.

But then a dramatic twist takes place. Victor's father shows up. 

"Papa!" Victor breathes, eyes wide and face confused. His mother is shocked herself since she wasn't expecting for him to find them.

There's a calm anger on his face. Victor can't recall a time when he didn't have the same scary expression, especially when he's around him. His father has always given this serious intimidating impression. And it's strange that just now he notice a similarly between his own father and... Yuuri! 

Like a lot of similarities. Is it their profession stereotypes? Do all successful businessmen look like this? Or is it just them? What if that was what attracted Victor to Yuuri in the first place? 

Oh no, that's the daddy complex? 

Victor notices his mother flinching in nervousness under his father's intense gaze. 

"Dimitri? Did..did you follow me..or something?" She stutters. 

He crosses his arms around his chest. "I knew you weren't going to the restroom. And I knew for sure you were coming to see him one more time before we leave. Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"You can't prevent me from seeing my son!" She spits furiously. And his father is still keeping his calm.

"That's why I didn't prevent you from meeting him before, right Alina? Because I knew too well that you came with me to see him. But now we have a flight to catch, and this is not the right time for sappy goodbyes. Plus it's my turn to have a moment with my dear son whom I haven't seen for too long."

She gives him a dirty look, wanting to argue and fight.

"Now will you excuse me with a private moment with him?" He asks with a stern look. She exchanges looks with Victor who is nervous. It's obvious she doesn't want to leave him yet. 

His father glares at him. "Alina you should be near the gate. Now!" He orders without looking at her, still glaring at Victor. And she reluctantly complies, Victor is left with him.

"Hello papa." Victor greets with ashamed eyes, preparing himself mentally for any kind of scowl.

His father pauses, eyeing him with examination from head to toe. 

After a while passing like forever, he finally speaks. "When you called me to say you worked as a model, I thought that was the lowest point you would hit. But I was wrong. I thought you could whore yourself to the cameras only. And you surpassed my expectations by becoming a full time whore to some rich man."

Victor's heart flips in fright. Does he know about his relationship? 

"I never thought you will make a living by prostitution, but you love to surprise me Victor."

"Papa!" Victor exclaims in rage. 

"How are you going to defend yourself? Aren't you living with that Japanese businessman? Doesn't he spend money on you and pay to let him fuck you?"

Each of his words is like a sharp knife his flesh.

"That's..that's not how it is between us! Yuuri is my boyfriend!" 

"Is that what you tell yourself every night after he fucks you? And do you actually believe it?" He howls a cruel sarcastic laugh, making the blood boil in Victor's veins. 

"What do you even know about us? How do you know about my relationship? You know nothing!"

"I know a lot of things. I know that you are being his sex toy for money, will you deny that?"

"That's not..true. He doesn't treat me this way. And he introduced himself to mama as my boyfriend! You can't judge our relationship when you know nothing!" Victor is shouting now, but luckily it's crowded and noisy so no one will pay to him attention. But Victor can't control himself, although he's well aware that he's lying.

"A boyfriend kept in secret? Correct me if I'm wrong, but you are not public with this relationship."

Victor stutters, trying to find a logical excuse. "His..his family is reserved..they may not accept if this..but.but Yuuri respects me and treats me well. And not because he's paying me!"

"And why do you think his family won't accept? He's ashamed of you. You are not his boyfriend, you are his dirty little secret!"

Victor fights the tears from rolling down his cheek, he can't let this happen. He can't let his father destroy him and what he has with Yuuri .

But he continues to tear him apart. "What sort of relationship is kept hidden like this? When you can't even go out hand in hand. When his status is still single? What kind of relationship is that?" He pauses, waiting for an answer that doesn't come out from Victor.

"Two in a healthy relationship are supposed to be equivalent to be compatible. Are you equivalent to him Victor? Not when you are totally relying on him to live, not you completely depend on him to feed and shelter and spoil you. Am I wrong Victor? And do you even think there's a future to a relationship like this? No. You know why? Because one day he will stop lusting after you. He"ll probably go and find a proper partner of his own class, someone he can be proud of to establish his social image. You, Victor, will just ruin his image."

Victor gives up and lowers his face letting the pools in his eyes drain all over his face.

"Then what will you do? Go find another hunk to support you? And then what and what and what? You really think your youth and beauty will stay with you forever? Someday it will all vanish, your glamour and charm, and nothing will remain but your failure and incapability."

He holds his chin up, raising his eyes to his. The vision is blurred in Victor's eyes, but he can clearly see the disgust on his father's face. 

"You..are.. A leech..disguised as a butterfly, Victor. And one day the fake colored wings will fall off."

Victor loudly sobs, his body trembles with the hot sobs, lungs suffocated. 

"Why..why..do you ha..hate me.." He hiccups, hand trying to wipe the tears. 

His father shuts his eyes and shakes his head. "You don't understand. It's completely the opposite."

And suddenly, for the first time in his entire life, Dimitri kisses Victor's forehead. Then he leaves..

*******

 

Victor stays in his bed for three days after the airport day, refusing to talk or to eat. It's driving Yuuri crazy. Victor doesn't tell him anything no matter how much Yuuri begs and pleads.

When Otabek called Yuuri three days ago, telling him how he drove Victor home from the airport while he was breaking down, Yuuri rushed back to their home at once. He called sick for those days despite the mess of his work, he couldn't leave Victor in that case. He also managed to guess a connection between Victor's state and his last meeting with his mom. Something must have happened then. 

On the fourth day, Victor gets out of the bed . Yuuri who is sitting on the bed following his work wih his laptop watches him leaving. He gets up to follow him. 

Victor goes to the kitchen and prepares himself a cereals meal, then he sits to silently eat. Face blank and movements mechanical. 

Yuuri just stands there watching him eat, unable to speak or to get closer to him. He takes careful steps to him, then he stops beside him and runs his fingers in the soft oily hair. 

"Victor. Do you feel better now?" Yuuri asks. And hearing the tender concern in his voice, coupled with his gentle touches, Victor hums in satisfaction. He closes his eyes, and his tense shoulders relax down. 

Victor's hand abandons his spoon, and extends to the caring hand sinking in his thick hair. He takes it and closes it his lips, printing a needy kiss on it. Yuuri's other hand sneaks to Victor's shoulder to rub and massage the spastic muscles. 

"Baby boy, tell me what's wrong. Please." Victor looks up to him, finding the love filled eyes. There's no way it's just a raw lust or a fun company between them. Yuuri is the gentlest soul on earth. And Victor never felt that loved before. 

He sucks in a deep breath, letting it out with all the pain aching his chest for the past days. It shook him to the core. His mind can't stop repeating and replaying that cursed day. 

"I'm fine Yuuri." He states with a hoarse voice, powerless from the disuse.

Yuuri cups his face, and kisses him hard. He pulls back while feeling his cheeks. "Get up and change your clothes. Now!"

"Yuuri, I don't want to go out." 

"Consider it an order from your daddy."

"I don't want to go out with my daddy, I don't want to go to these suffocating places you take me to!" Victor snaps, his voice is too angry and loud. It makes Yuuri jolt. And Victor feels guilty for it. But Yuuri soon regains his tenderness. He takes Victor's face in his hands, staring deep into his eyes. Pouring waves of comfort and peace into them.

"Then go out with your boyfriend on a simple date. Please."

That word again. It makes Victor's heart flip in his chest even though it's far from the truth. He knows Yuuri is using it because he is aware of its effect on him.

He sighs, hesitant to respond to the gentleness of Yuuri. He's caused much trouble and worry to him. Yuuri doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve a fuck up like him. 

"I promise you will have a good time with me today. It tears my heart Victor.. seeing you like this! You have no idea how it killed me seeing you this depressed and sad when I don't even know the reason. Standing there helpless while watching you wither like a flower instead of blooming into your beauty. I need to stop this!"

"What? No Yuuri please. Don't guilt yourself because of me. You've done nothing wrong. It's me who should feel bad for worrying you and taking up your time like this."

"Victor! It's my responsibility to make sure you are always happy. Because this is how you are supposed to be. You are meant to be only laughing and smiling. I still don't know the reason behind your gloom, but I'm not standing there without doing something. Please be better, for me."

Victor is overwhelmed with the utter kindness and gentleness of Yuuri and his words. There's no way this isn't pure love. No one can understand what they've got. If Victor had doubt in Yuuri's feelings for minutes, it's all vanished now seeing the loving look in his beautiful eyes. It's more real than anything he's experienced in his life. 

"Yuuri, you are wonderful.." Victor says, a small tear escapes his eyes. Yuuri replies with a feathery kiss on his forehead. 

"Let's get dressed up. Okay?"

Victor grins and nods. He will go with him anywhere, even to the hell.

But he doesn't take him to a hell. 

It's actually an amusement park! 

Victor hasn't been to one of them since he was a child. And walking through the crowded place, makes him feel so exposed. It's like living an out of body experience. Not because of the nature of the place they are at. It's a dream coming true.

He is walking around a crowded area, filled with regular people, wearing casual clothes and comfortable sneakers. And beside him Yuuri! Yuuri like he has never seen him before. A very enthusiastic Yuuri, infected from the excited atmosphere. He's also wearing a simple T-shirt and jeans. There a cap covering his hair and the upper part of his face, an obvious effort to make him incognito. 

But Victor is aware of what they are doing now. Of how Yuuri is intending this to go. Because they are walking hand in hand. Like a normal couple! Without his staff or drivers or anyone, just the two of us. 

Victor has never walked in public with Yuuri like this. Never hand in hand, in front of all the eyes to witness their relationship. It's so open and clear. And Victor is feeling like he's flying in the sky, no limits to his happiness. Because there isn't something he wished more in his life than letting people know that he and Yuuri are together. And it may be a temporary feeling, a reckless adventure, but Victor never felt this alive. 

It's like Yuuri declaring their relationship to the world. Not hiding it in shame like a dirty secret. It can be a small act Yuuri is playing to satisfy Victor. Especially when he's unrecognisable with the silly cap covering his face. But he doesn't care. It just amazes Victor how Yuuri figured out that this is exactly what he needs the most right now. How does he know? Is he that intelligent? Or did he feel him? Do they now share some kind of emotional connection?

It's also amazing, how Yuuri pulled him from the deepest holes of misery up to the peak of joy. It doesn't resolve anything. Nothing changed, yet at least he knows Yuuri feels more about him.

Victor's smile is glued to his face, refusing to go away. He glances at Yuuri, and he smiles even more. Yuuri is genuinely excited about the place. He looks like a child visiting the amusement park for the first time. Extremely fascinated with everything, his eyes are too big, sparkling beautifully. 

He chuckles. "Yuuri, you look silly like this!"

Yuuri looks at him raising an eyebrow. "Are you mocking my boyfriend look?"

"Never!" He leans to him wanting to kiss his cheek. But instantly he stops himself. Is this right? Sure they are acting like a normal couple in public now. But what are his limits? 

Yuuri notices his hesitance. So he kisses him instead. In front of all the people. Victor wants to scream in joy.

"So what should we ride first?" Yuuri asks with curiosity, it's obvious he wants to try all the rides. It also raises Victor's curiosity, have Yuuri even been to an amusement park before? Does he get scared at the dangerous rides? 

Victor presses his finger over his lips, contemplating. Then he gasps with an idea, a heart shaped smile taking over his face. "The roller coaster! Oh look how exciting it looks!" Victor points with excitement at the monstrous game. Then he catches the horror on Yuuri's face.

He shakes his head frantically. "What? No no never! Not a roller coaster!"

"Oh Yuuri! You are scared?" Victor teases. 

"I'm not going to lie, it looks scary. I think I'll faint or puke before I get off. I never rode it before."

"Then you should! Everything has a first right? You want to die without riding a rollercoaster Yuuri?"

"It's better than dying while riding a rollercoaster baby."

Victor explodes laughing, then he grasps Yuuri's hand and drags him with big steps. "Come on Yuuri it will be so fun. You will like it!"

"Victor please no!"

"There no way you can be the same charismatic daddy who is feared by tons of people! A silly ride scares you so much?"

"Victor I'll die!"

"At least you'll die in my arms!" He exclaims, running no stop to the ride, and pulling the poor guy with him.

The ride is running slowly at first on the straight track, preparing for the first slope. Yuuri is breathing hard in preparation to the first shock. Victor is shaking in excitement. "It's happening Yuuri! We are about to go down."

Victor takes out his phone to take a commemorative selfie of the two of them. It shows Victor with his happy heart shaped smile and playful wink, while Yuuri id looking like he is facing the grim reaper.

Yuuri shuts his eyes tightly. Hands gripping the safety bar with all his might. "Oh no I should have revised my will first!"

Victor giggles and takes Yuuri's hand. "Hold on tight to me Yuuri! I will protect you, although you are my daddy. You are the one who should protect me."

And that what exactly happens. It's Yuuri who protects him. It's Victor who dies.

The ear deafening screams from their cart all come from Victor. It goes beyond screams, he actually cries in horror, clinging with his life onto Yuuri who is actually enjoying the rush of adrenaline in his veins and laughing like a maniac. He wraps his arm protectively around Victor who is hiding his face in Yuuri's shoulder while screaming in Russian to stop the game.

After the ride is finally over and they get off, Yuuri supports him to walk without falling. They collapse on a nearby bench. Yuuri is still laughing at Victor's hilarious look. His face is tomato red, features permanently shrunken in terror. The most hilarious is his lovely hair mussy and flying in every direction.

Yuuri smooths his messy hair to tame it down. It's longer now, a bob cut length. So gorgeous and eye catching, it outlines his face too well. Yuuri seems very fond of it. 

"I'm never riding the vehicles of Satan again." Victor whines, earning another chuckle from Yuuri. 

"Why did you make us ride it them if you get so scared?"

"Because it's my first time riding them, how am I supposed to know they are torturing rides straight from the middle ages?" He shouts. 

Yuuri's laughing gets louder. He shakes his head in wonder. "Then why did you act all expert and 'it will be fun Yuuri' and all that? Trying to impress me with your non existent courage?"

"I was an idiot who got drafted by the rumors. Gish who loves this horrible stuff? Why are people so masochistic?"

Yuuri kisses his temple, patting his back. "It's fine baby.. you lived! Did you want to die without riding a rollercoaster?"

"I died a thousand deaths riding it!"

"It's okay baby. No more dangerous rides. Oh look! I want to ride the merry-go-round! Let's go!"

This ride is much nicer and calmer. Less screaming, more giggling. Yuuri and Victor ride two adjacent unicorns. Yuuri's hand extends to tickle Victor's side, causing him to yelp with laughter. 

"I like this one better!" Victor states.

"I've always wished to ride it. This is also my first time riding it." A small blush covers his cheeks. The confession puzzles Victor. 

"Wait! Have you ever been to an amusement park before?"

"I don't really recall it, so I guess not!"

"What? You mean this us your first time ever?"

"I think so.."

"What do you mean, Yuuri? You are twenty eight years old and you've never been to an amusement park before? What did you do during your childhood then!"

"Studying I guess.." Yuuri shrugs, an embarrassed smile in his face. Victor shakes his head with a frown. Of course Yuuri was deprived since childhood from all the joys of life to be raised as an emperor. He hasn't told him much about his childhood, but it's not hard to guess how cold it was.

"I'm glad your first time is with me." It might sound selfish, but Victor wants to have that impact on Yuuri's still cold life. He wants to be the source of warmth in it. He wants to be all of Yuuri's firsts and bests. To play a grand role of bringing him the happiness he deserves.

"And I'm glad I saved my first time for someone so special." Yuuri smiles brightly, making Victor's tiny heart palpate in giddiness. Is it from the dizzying ride or from the dazzling words? 

Yuuri leans his torso closer to him halfway between their two unicorns, facing him. And Victor meets him with a chaste kiss. An excited voice exclsims, "Mommy look, two boys are kissing!" And Yuuri and Victor instantly separate, giggling. 

"There are kids around!" Yuuri teases, although he's the one who initiated the kiss. 

"I'm a kid too. I needed a kiss from daddy!"

******

 

Victor and Yuuri tour the park after few stomach turning and pants wetting rides. This time an arm is circling Victor. He and Yuuri walk adherent to each other. Taking photos and pointing to things and buying souvenirs, all while they are so close to each other.

Victor is complaining about his bruised knee from the bumper cars while Yuuri buys him a corn dog. They've already tried many traits and snacks, and Victor can't stop asking for more and more.

"You literally just stood there not doing anything while everyone crashed and bumped at you. And you cornered that poor boy to the pavement. He couldn't move an inch because of you. How can you suck this bad when I did fine and it was my first time ever!" Yuuri says withouy patience, trying to shut up his constant whining. He pays to the man and hands Victor the ketchup covered corn dog. 

"My car was obviously broken. I can drive bumper car! Also you are used to driving everyday, so there isn't big difference. It's been to long for me to drive a real car." Victor answers biting the corn dog with a puppy pout. 

Yuuri hums thoughtfully, wiping the ketchup off the corner of Victor's lips. "You want to drive a car?"

"I don't think I can even remember how to drive. I used to be crazy about cars when I had them." Victor answers with a mouth full of food, looking too adorable and innocent. Until he doesn't.

Victor finds a corn dog between his lips the perfect opportunity for obscenity. Unbothered, he blows it with half lidded eyes, a small moan arising from him. It catches Yuuri's attention that he looks at him, to find Victor doing a show of temptation. Yuuri grits his teeth and smacks Victor's mouth, pushing the protruding corn dog inside his mouth and Victor chokes.

"There are kids around, bitch. Wanna get arrested for public indecency?" Yuuri scolds him, making Victor howl with laughter. 

Then Yuuri takes out his phone, checking it out. And Victor just blushes at seeing it.

"I thought your phone died for good! And I'm not talking about the battery." 

 

Yuuri smirks, eyes never leaving the phone. "It won't die before it fucks you back in revenge."

He heats up. Maybe it's getting hotter? Is he ashamed now? Just moments ago he was trying to seduce Yuuri with a corn dog.

'Yuuri. Let's go to the arcade games. Win me a plushy pupper!" He drags him to the games area, and Yuuri lets himself getting dragged with a big smile.

Naturally Yuuri sucks at these games. And no matter how hard he tries, he can't win. Victor whines at him that he's going to lose his entire fortune on coins. Instead, Victor wins him a stuffed dragon, and Yuuri hugs it cutely with happiness. It makes Victor swoon in adoration. 

The Ferris wheel ride is Victor's favorite. He and Yuuri snuggle while enjoying the view of the whole park from above. The sun is setting and the park lights are starting to glow. Their capsule is slightly swinging, making it more enjoyable.

"This day is so perfect. I'm so happy Yuuri! Being this close to you..in front of everyone..it all makes me so happy."

"So my mission is a success?"

"Definitely. Now all I need is to get home so we can.." 

Yuuri looks mischievously at him. "Why wait?" 

Victor pretends to be scandalized by the suggestive tone of Yuuri. "There are kids around. Do you want us to get arrested for public indecency Yuuri?" 

Suddenly Yuuri gets on his knees on the capsule floor. Victor's eyes widen in shock, watching Yuuri slipping between his legs. "Not if they can't see anything." Yuuri says with a husky voice and a foxy smile. 

Victor squirms in surprise, losing his breath. "Yuuri what are you doing?" He asks, biting his lip when Yuuri's fingers moves to unzip his pants. 

"Since you love public display of affections, public hands holding, public kissing, then why don't I give you a public blow job? so your day can be completely perfect."

"Yuuri..Daddy!" 

"Act normal baby, we don't want anyone to think I'm giving you a blow job!"

And Yuuri delivers. Victor is overwhelmed with the sensation of Yuuri's skillful mouth and tongue wrapped around his instant hardness. Bobbing his head along his length, stimulating him closer to the edge of his breakdown. He hollows his cheeks, sucking the life out of Victor's body from his aching member. 

Victor sees fireworks, not sure if they are real or it's Yuuri's maddening mouth. He involuntarily thrusts his hips, fucking inside the wet heat of Yuuri, moaning and panting relentlessly. 

His fingers reach for Yuuri's hair, to find the cap instead. With fury he snatches the haf off Yuuri's head, and tosses it away from the hight of their capsule, which is tens of feetd above the ground. Yuuri chokes around his dick, unable to resist his laughing. Victor laughs back but he surges his hardness again inside Yuuri's mouth, tugging his hair violently to make him go on. 

And this time Victor is sure he sees fireworks from the intensity of his orgasm. Victor climaxes high up the sky, at the peak of 212 feet away from the ground. And Yuuri swallows every drop. He releases the moist softened member and licks his lips. "Yummy!"

"I can't believe what you did!" Victor pants. 

*******

They settle for watching real fireworks before leaving, and under a large tree Yuuri is resting his back to the trunk. And Victor is laying on the ground, nestling his head in Yuuri's lap.

"Thank you..a lot." Victor says, leaning to Yuuri's gentle touch. 

"I hope you got better my baby."

"Much much better."

"Still won't tell me what happened?"

Victor sighs, looking up to sky. 

"I can't Yuuri. It's my own problem. I don't want to involve you in my own mess."

"What are you talking about? You don't me to be a part of your life?"

"What? Of course not Yuuri! It's just.. I met my father."

There's no way Victor can tell him the poisonous words he injected in his veins. It will open the doors for a storm Victor is struggling to keep inside himself. And Victor isn't ready to disturb the fresh breeze cooling their time now with the violence of his greedy feelings and hopeless emotions. 

Because Victor himself agrees with his father's words. Not all of them of course. Not the part where Victor is wanting Yuuri for his money and power, where Yuuri uses him as his sex toy. But the part where he doesn't deserve Yuuri, where he's leeching if him, where he's ruining his image. That part is somehow true. 

Victor sits up opposite to Yuuri. And Yuuri holds both his shoulders. "Victor. I don't want you to be affected with whatever your father told you. Don't believe him! I understand his point of view. But it's not right. You are an amazing person, you are doing so well. You've as ready came a long way to change into a better person. And with each passing day, I realize how amazing you are." 

He throws himself in his embrace, sheltering in the warmth of Yuuri from the storms. Yuuri is rubbing his back, spreading kisses on top of his head.

"I don't want you to leave me." Victor mumbles, not sure if Yuuri is hearing him.

"I won't baby, I won't."

They don't talk much after that. They should, Victor knows that the only peaceful way to end the war tearing and destroying him is for them to communicate, to talk out everything. But he know it will also complicate everything. The arrangement they have now is more than enough to make Victor the happiest.

Yuuri is the best thing in his life, and Yuuri treats him back in that way. When he sees him gloomy he works hard to brighten him. When Victor expresses a wish, he answers with no time. When doubts and insecurities fill him, Yuuri washes them away. But Victor is greedy for more. His greed and selfishness amplify and increase until they will swallow him whole. And right then, he will break down .

But until that time, Victor will control his manners. And will meet Yuuri's utter generosity and kindness with apparent gratitude, not asking for more. He doesn't deserve more anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know it's a but angsty but I hope the fluff made up for it.  
> Also I hope you liked the Ferris wheel ride ;) 
> 
> If I don't update soon, know that my school has eaten me alive. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated  
>  (´ ▽｀).。ｏ♡


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I'm really sorry for being this late to update, but school is hectic and I didn't find any time. Also I had some difficulty writing this chapter so I'm not fully satisfied with it, so I hope you forgive me if you find it not as good. 
> 
> I will try to update fast again. Maybe with shorter chapters. The next chapters were the most important, so I hope I'll do them justice.
> 
> I really hope you enjoy.
> 
> Also warning: a choker

Fashion design! That is the only answer to Victor's decision to pursue another career. It's the most suitable profession for him. Victor has done nothing in his life but getting involved in the fashion scene and gaining knowledge about the industry, so it's logical to try it out. No one takes him seriously as a model, the effort put in modelling pass unnoticed. It's not satisfactory. Besides he has no other qualifications or significant experiences other than modelling. So, Victor decides on fashion design where there will be a final physical product to his work.

He just needs to learn the basics now, take it step by step. From sketching to patterning to sewing to perfecting to a final wearable garment. Then maybe getting an internship for some workshop or small company. And from there he will start. 

It's not going to be easy or instant. And that's exactly why Victor is insisting on it. Because it requires much effort and hard working, the harder to get, the more valuable. The success of it isn't even that guaranteed, so it fires up his ambitions and determination. He will attempt and attempt until he's fully satisfied. And it doesn't matter how long it will take. He's finally investing his already wasted time in something precious.

And Victor is willing to do whatever it takes to do one thing right, just one thing, he will pour his soul and passion in it. Especially when it's something requiring much creativity and imagination. It will prove him in many aspects, commitment, ethics, creativity, hard working. 

He hopes it just works out! It's too early to see results but he can't afford failure. 

"And when did you start taking them?" Chris asks with bright eyes, he's been keeping the same impressed reaction the whole time Victor was telling him everything. Victor had to tell someone about his new aspirations, someone that isn't Yuuri. 

"About three weeks ago, it just started with basics, but we are advancing really fast, and it requires much time and effort. I never thought that course would be that serious. Like I had that hectic schedule for the new line which came as a surprise cause our latest collection was only a month ago. So I had to keep up with both work and classes, and the past weeks were really crazy!" Victor pours his drink into his mouth, trying to not sound too proud of himself. 

"And is it good? I mean is it of good quality, are you really learning well?"

"Yes it's decent. The institute has many good reviews and the reputation of its tutors is good too. I didn't want something too fancy cause these kind of classes are taught for fun. This one is serious, like for the ones who want to launch a career without a degree."

"And what are you intending to do after you finish?"

"It's a six month course. I don't think it's enough, so I think I will take another advanced one, maybe find an internship in a company or something, it's going to be hard though. The competition is brutal, especially with the degrees holders." 

Chris raises an eyebrow, then lets out a sarcastic chuckle. "What do you mean hard? Do you realize that this is literally your job? All the people you know and all your connections. Hell there's even a huge house under your feet, like you can take over the whole company if you give Yuuri a wink!"

Victor shakes his head rapidly. "That's a big no! What's wrong with you Chris? This defies the purpose of what I want to do. Like the whole point is for me to do everything on my own without relying on Yuuri or the others. I want to start out like a.." He pauses searching for the right word, until he beams. "a commoner!"

"A commoner?" Chris repeats with an urge to roll his eyes. 

"Yes! Someone iof the public proletariat." 

Chris erupts in laughter, and it's kind of disappointong for Victor. Even humiliating. It reminds him very much of Yuuri's reaction when he first told him about the classes. Which made him more determined and motivated. 

Victor is telling Chris to seek for encouragement and support. Because he won't find it somewhere else. That's why he didn't inform Yuuri with the drastic change he's willing to achieve. Because Yuuri's initial reaction wasn't very encouraging, so Victor kept his plan to himself, without revealing his motivations and goals to Yuuri. 

When Victor told him about the idea of fashion design and tailoring and textiles course, Yuuri almost laughed. Not in mockery, like he thought it was cute! His intentions weren't really to belittle Victor, but it just he didn't take him seriously. Like Victor was just bored and wanted to experience something new. So he cooed at him, repeating how wonderful the idea was. And he looked like a mother encouraging her wide eyed son who declared his desire to become an astronaut. 

And it hurt Victor's pride as hell. Especially when he hinted at Yuuri that he might even pursue that profession. Yuuri told him why would he want to do something that difficult when doesn't need to. So Victor didn't bother to explain himself.

Yuuri didn't believe in him and it comes from the same place as his own mother. Victor knows how Yuuri respects and at least admires him, but he also knows that he sees him as an object of fascination. And he will be against any chance of improvement, he will just tell him he's amazing the way he is and he doesn't need to change or improve.

That was clear when he got mad that Victor refused his offer to let the designers of his company be his private tutors. Victor told him they hated him enough when they were forced to use him as their main muse, and teaching him is an out of job description burden, even if they did it voluntarily. Yuuri growled, asking if they had been mistreating or disrespecting him in any way. But Victor was fast to deny, insisting on just taking a regular class.

Yuuri told him to at least choose some prestigious institute, somewhere he could belong to. He was worried how he would adapt in a new environment amongst "the commoners" and he had to make sure Victor would be fine. It drove Victor nuts, and he even raised his voice with rage, saying he wasn't a delicate princess. And it was really a hell of a fight.

The thing is.. Victor has to be Yuuri's delicate prince. That's exactly their deal. He took him as a sugar baby, and he wants to keep him as a sugar baby. It's simple and suddenly Victor wanted to change it. But he thought! He thought that's the biggest barrier between them and a real healthy relationship. He thought Yuuri wanted him for more than a spoilt baby. He was so sure Yuuri's feelings for him are more than that. But that fight made him doubt again. 

He is doing the whole thing for Yuuri! And what if that's not what Yuuri wants? What if he doesn't want Victor independent? What if he likes their relationship the way it is? Victor all it his mercy and dependent on him, fully devoted to him. It made sense to be honest. Maybe Victor miscalculated everything, maybe Yuuri will never see him more than that.

But that's not what Victor wants and he will never be satisfied with it, not anymore. Besides, he's just being presumptive, he hasn't talked to Yuuri and they need that the most. But also Victor is delaying this step until he's fully capable and empowered enough to make decisions about about their relationship. Which will not happen unless he starts what he intended to do, to establish himself in a stable career depending on himself. So it's sort of a viscous circle. Where's the start and what is it leading to? 

Until Victor realized that he's not just doing this for Yuuri. Not just for his father, not just for the world. It's for himself before anyone else. It's the start of a long road to himself and he needs to take it. He can't imagine losing Yuuri on that road, but he has to walk it no matter what. 

Victor needs to find himself before asking for love and appreciation. And a silly fashion design class could really be the start of it. So he makes the decision. And if that's what Yuuri doesn't want, Victor has to change his mind. Someday he will realize it's all for him. That Victor wants to deserve him.

"Hey hey don't look this melancholic, you know I always support you, right?" Victor wakes up from his thoughts at Chris's tender voice. He rubs his thigh in comforting manner and Victor gives him an appreciative smile. It's like Chris read his mind. Maybe he wasn't wrong when he seemed his support.

"But will you give up on modelling? I think this will be of a great loss. Because you are brilliant, my buddy. I think my heart stopped a little seeing you today on the catwalk." He winks at him, causing Victor to chuckle.

"I'm not sure, but I don't think so. I still enjoy modelling, and I still have time in my hands. So I think I'll go on." 

"Ah, that's a relief. You are just glowing today, I think it's the hair?!"

"I know, right?" Victor's hand flies by reflex to his hair, dragging his fingers along the silky strands. It has grown to shoulder length in a short period. And Victor can't deny it gives him an extra glow. Maybe few times he catches himself staring in the mirror too much. He can't imagine how it will affect him when it reaches his desired length. 

Most importantly, Yuuri is obsessed with it. Seeing the adoring bewilderment in his eyes whenever he focuses on the hair makes Victor feel invincible. It's like he gained an extra power over Yuuri, hypnotizing him. Completely under Victor's power and charm..

"Yuuri just loves it! Like he's totally obsessed! You have no idea. When I first told him I had long hair before his eyes sparkled and he just seemed lost in the imagination, so I thought I would let it grow for him." Victor answers in eagerness. And it makes Chris smile meaningfully, he tilts his head with a watchful eye. 

"You would always do anything for him Victor." He says, touched and impressed. 

Victor recalls Yuuri's pure smile, and his heart flutters. "Everything for him. I would do anything for him."

Victor and Chris keep conversing while drinking their cocktails, occasionally greeting the others and having few words or photos with the guests. It's another after-party after a fashion show, with Victor of course as the face of the collection.

But the entire time, Victor's eyes are following Yuuri being the busy businessman he is. Victor is gazing him in longing, as Chris commented. And it's true, lately things haven't been..as good as they should be. Their harmony became somehow mismatched. Victor attributes it to the whole thing he's doing now, since he rebelled against Yuuri. And now Yuuri doesn't even glance his way, not once. 

They didn't make up properly, just had a very hot round of sex, and didn't speak about it again. Victor thought they could sweep it under the carpet, but since then Yuuri has become busier, and so has Victor. 

And Victor really misses him. And he wants to do anything to make them the way they were before. Is it a passing crisis? Or is it the passion dying down? Or just should Victor give up what he's doing now, his classes?  
Whenever he comes to a final decision, his feelings twist and change and confuses him even more. 

If Yuuri just knows how much he loves him! 

Victor shakes off his thoughts, trying to focus on the party, on Chris, on anything. Something has to distract him. Something like that man approaching him. He has a feeling he's seen him before. 

The man stands by him, looking too smug for his own good. He greets both Victor and Chris, voice too loud for Victor's liking.

"The show today was spectacular, and you my dear Victor were stunning!" 

Victor looks confused, he exchanges a look with Chris, then looks back to the man. Answering suspiciously, "Thank you. I'm sorry but do I know you?" 

Chris face palms, looking too done and embarrassed. The man chuckles in disbelief, too shocked by Victor's statement. Chris is fast to save the day.

"Victor that's JJ, the popstar, he was just an hour ago up the runway with you, singing for the show. I'm sure you passed by him multiple times on the stage." Chris says sarcastically. 

"Really? I don't recall." Victor crosses his arms and Chris cringes a little. And the smug guy must having the hugest bruised ego by now. 

He clears his throat, pretending to be too cool with it. "I'm sure you've heard my latest hit, king JJ, it's been number one on all the charts for weeks now and it's being played everywhere. I even sang it at the show." He chuckles. 

Victor gives his best nonchalant face. "Sorry I don't listen to mainstream music." He does though, it makes Chris roll his eyes.

"That's fine. But may I ask you to join me for a dance? The music is awesome and I can't stop shaking my body." 

Victor is about to blurt a very hurtful rejection when his eyes catch a glimpse of Yuuri, staring at his direction, face blank and eyes hot. And actually, Victor finds it a good idea. 

"Sure, why not?" He smirks playfully and gets up to accompany JJ to the dance floor. The knowledge that Yuuri is watching him like a hawk encourages Victor to present his best sultry seductive moves, that poor JJ can't even keep up with him. And Victor finds himself centring the floor surrounded by the excited moving bodies.

"I want to give you a gift." JJ shouts over the loud music. Victor continues to shake and twist, stealing glances at Yuuri. But Yuuri is no longer paying any attention, which frustrates Victor. Victor grabs JJ's hand, aggressively pulling him to the other side of the dance floor near Yuuri's table. 

"I said I want to give you a gift!" He repeats, louder this time. 

"Oh I can accept it but you have to know I have a boyfriend though and I'm not planning to cheat on him any time soon."

JJ chuckles nervously. "That's fine, I'm not asking for anything back. Just a little admiration gift."

He pulls his hand out of his pocket, elevates it to Victor's eyes, and he's holding a dark red velvet choker, dangling from it a suspiciously glowing gem. Victor is no stranger to this kind of gleam. 

His eyes widen. "Is this diamond?" 

"Yes, I hope you like it."

Victor is used to expensive gifts presented to him. But once he got with Yuuri, he stopped accepting them from the others unless they were from close friends or returned compliments. Specifically, he stopped accepting gifts from men who are drooling over him in hunger.

He contemplated for a while. Should he accept it now? But what if Yuuri is watching? Then his mind lights up. Exactly, Yuuri is watching! 

Yuuri loves chokers on Victor. And hates other men with Victor.

"It's beautiful!" He bats his lashes to JJ, and the guy's breath hitches. 

Victor gathers his hair up in his hand, revealing his marble white neck. He nods his head to JJ, in gesture to put the choker on his neck.

JJ smirks as he does, fingers lingering too unnecessarily on the chilled skin. It makes Victor wince, he doesn't want to take it too far. It was exciting at first to trigger Yuuri's jealousy and earn his attention. But now Victor is genuinely scared to even check his reaction. 

When JJ is done, he takes a step back. "Wow, it looks perfect on you. I've read in an interview of you before that chokers are your favorite accessories."

Victor is disturbed by such stalkerish behavior, reading an interview of him and even memorizing a small detail like this! 

"Umm, thank you. I..think I should go. I have a headache." 

"Oh are you okay?" He asks in real concern. 

Victor retreats, about to turn his back to him. "Yes, it's just a headache."

"Well, will I see you again?"

"I told you I havea boyfriend, didn't I?" Victor winks at him then makes his way through the dancing crowd. 

Was it too much? 

 

**********

 

When Yuuri gets jealous, Victor gets punished. And it's always a delicious torturing punishment that wrecks Victor to pieces and makes him go insane. 

So maybe Victor is a little too excited for Yuuri to arrive. His body is burning in fire imagining all the possible scenarios tonight. Nothing is hotter than possessive Yuuri, being all controlling and dominating. It reduces Victor to a senseless mass of arousal and heat. And it's been long since they had a long night of utter passion. 

And to guarantee the maximal effects, Victor pampers himself with extra care. Miles of ivory skin misted with a dazzling fruity fragrance, scenting him with seduction and sex. Body adorned with pure white bridal lingerie, together with his free silky hair, they make him look like a demonic angel, if such creature existed. Maybe a bottle of aphrodisiac red wine and pieces of chocolate. A cliche sex night, Victor's favorite. 

The most important preparation is the provoking choker. Victor knows how it will drives Yuuri crazy. Not just because it's his favorite too, but also because he's aware of its origin. Hell will break loose tonight.  
The waiting is making it even better. Slow burning with fire of anticipation. And when the door clicks open, Victor dies a little.

But soon Victor's aroused heat is met with the freezing coldness of ignorance. Yuuri walks into the room as if Victor isn't here. He doesn't flinch on seeing him, he doesn't even look at him.

He grabs his laptop, still in his suit, lays on the couch, focusing all his attention on it. 

"Daddy?" Victor calls. His voice is shaking but hopeful. However, Yuuri doesn't respond to him like he never heard him. 

"Daddy!" He whines seductively, trying another trick. 

Still not working.

Victor impulsively gets out of bed, he goes to Yuuri and snaches the laptop from his hand playfully. And Yuuri isn't amused. 

He stands on his feet, glaring at him. And Victor has never seen an angrier look on his face. 

Yuuri reached for the laptop, grasping it back. "What? Are you going to fuck it too?" He growls, and the volume of his tone freaks Victor out.

"Yuuri, are you..are you angry?" Victor asks, his own voice too small and cowered. 

"I am. I'm angry, and not in a fun way Victor." 

"Yuuri.." Victor's lips tremble, the words run from his tongue back to his throat, unable to reply. 

"You think you are cute?"

"Yuuri.."

"You go there being all tempting and flirtatious, drag a man to the dance floor and shamelessly flirt with him, giving everyone a free show of that sluty body of yours, you accept a gift from him, and then what, did you suck his dick too?" Yuuri spits the words, furious and intimidating. A horrible feeling swallows Victor and chews him mercilessly. He didn't mean it that way.

"Yuuri I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you angry I swear.." His voice chokes with tears, unable to stop his begging sobs. 

Yuuri flares his nostrils with a heated face. He painfully grips Victor by the arms, fingers bruising the milky skin. "Why did you do that? Why are you doing this..all this to me?" 

Victor attempts to mouth out the words, but his sobbing is uncontrollable. He initiates the words, but can't finish them. Yuuri shuts his eyes tightly, taking long drags of air deep inside his lungs. 

"Stop crying!" He pauses, letting go of him. Victor wipes his face, desperate to stop his weeping. "I said stop crying!" He repeats patientlessly

Yuuri takes his face in his hands, angrily kissing him. Thrusting his tongue inside, biting at the soft cry swollen lips. "I said stop crying." He says before kissing him harder, sucking his weeps out of him.

Suddenly, he tugs a fistful of Victor's silky hair violently, causing him to yelp in pain. Victor's head is positioned up forcefully by the tight grasp of Yuuri. He breathes in his ear before licking its shell sensually as Victor pants. Then he whispers slowly. "Why? Huh? Why did you do that? To tease me? Horny that much to for me fucking you till you shatter in pieces? So eager to be punished?" 

He frees him from his tight hold, takes a few steps away from him. And Victor can't sort out his current feeling, but it's definitely not pleasant. 

"Yes..yes. I wanted to tease you. I..I wanted to provoke you, only because..I miss you much." He struggles to speak, but eventually he manages to confess. 

Yuuri's furrow deepens, he walks back, taking hold of him. "So you want me teased? Fine you got it!"

Victor hits the plush carpet painfully, being pushed by Yuuri with overbearing power. In seconds Yuuri collapses on top him, like a savage beast attacking his prey. Victor's beautiful bridal adornments are ripped off to pieces, the tug of the fabric digs into his skin with burning stinging, leaving red angry lines on the fair skin. 

Victor whimpers in torment, trembling beneath Yuuri's heavy weight. And Yuuri traces his fingers along the inflamed lines. "Beautiful, red is my favorite on you, Vitya.." His tongue hangs out if his mouth, licking it in hunger in front if his delicious meal. He shifts his body, then the licks move to the irritated marks around Victor's hips. 

Yuuri continues his brutal act, tearing Victor's own skin and flesh with teeth and nails and fury. And Victor is torn between pleasure and pain. He likes this way, he loves it when Yuuri gives up to his primitive side. But not when he's blaming Victor with every touch, not when he's punishing him with every kiss. Not when he's hurt and he's hurting Victor back.

After imprinting a series of raging love bites and bleeding scratches and colored bruises, coloring the fairness of abdomen and hips and thighs, Yuuri admires his handiwork.

"And I see some asshole agrees with me on that color.." Victor is aware of Yuuri's gaze running over the red piece around his neck. "We may have similar tastes too.." 

And delicately his finger runs over the velvet wrapper. He slipped the finger under the choker, tugging it slightly, before pulling it forcefully making Victor choke. It's torn in his hand, the strong pull leaving a thin irritated line around Victor's neck. 

Victor rubs his neck, desperate to cool down the burn. A stream of tears running down his face. While Yuuri examines the choker closely, face unimpressed. 

"So, it's a real diamond huh? He was trying to dazzle you? As if I don't buy you the whole world. It's vulgar and disgusting tough. It shouldn't touch your precious neck my baby.." His palm spread over Victor's neck, rubbing gently.

"Chokers resemble a pet's collar so much," He lowers his head to the neck, and plants a small kiss there on his Adam's apple. "It means the pet belong to its owner. Hmm, who is your owner Vitya?"

"You..daddy." Victor whispers. 

"That's right..mine! You are mine Victor. You're my baby boy." Yuuri takes his hand, entangling their fingers, obviously checking the ring in Victor's finger. The ring that binds them together, their unofficial contract. He plays with it, turning and spinning it around thoughtfully. Then he presses the small kiss on it.

"I thought that ring would clearly convey that you already belong to me, me only. Everyone could see it. But turns out it's not enough. Maybe we need something more prominent, a clear message to everyone. Let's give you a different type of collar." 

Victor moans when Yuuri's teeth dig into the skin of his neck, following the traces of the torn choker with his kissing and nibbling and suckling, marking his territory on the circumference of Victor's neck like a necklace. 

Satisfied, Yuuri hums, admiring the result of his handiwork.There's no way Victor can hide the artwork painted on the lovely neck. Which completely pleases Yuuri. It's more clear than any collar. Victor is still shivering in need, his body is awfully aroused burning with fire of desire. His needy moans are a symphony to Yuuri's ears. Yuuri moves to straddle Victor's thighs, closing his clothed bulge to Victor's heated crotch. 

"Daddy, please!" The desperate begging and grinding triggers Yuuri. His hand dances over Victor's painful erection, causing him to arch his back. His hips jump forward at the contact with Yuuri's palm. Yuuri's lips quirk up wickedly at the devilish idea crossing his mind.

"Do you think I would give it to you? Aren't you supposed to be punished?" He squeezes the swell and Victor screams erotically. "Should I please you when you made me so so mad Vitya?" Yuuri pumps and squeezes harder, with a fast rhythm as Victor fucks into his fist, losing all his senses to one sensation. He growls in frustration when Yuuri smacks the dampened cock before withdrawing his hand away. 

"No!" Victor protests loudly and Yuuri responds with a wicked chuckle. Victor opens his teary eyes to find Yuuri looking at him in warning, and Victor even gets more aroused as if it's possible. 

"I don't see why I would please you," He pauses, and starts to unbuckle his belt. Victor barely noticed that Yuuri's still fully dressed in his elegant suit. "when I can just please myself." He frees his own hardness and Victor breathlessly reaches his hand to touch, but he yelps when Yuuri slaps his hand away. "I didn't give you the permission to touch me!"

"Please, please..I beg you daddy, please." He thrusts in the air desperate for a friction. Yuuri smirks, watching in amazement his lover's frenzy. He's still holding the belt in his hand. Then he smirks to Victor. "We should do something about your hand!" 

Then Victor's wrists are tightly tied with the belt above his hand. And Yuuri watches Victor's body twisting and rolling like a snake, running his hands over the suffering body. 

"So I need to fuck you..really..hard, Vitya. But I don't want you to come unless I say so, and since you fail miserably every single time, and always come untouched, I have to use something." 

Victor's eyes widen in shock as he watches Yuuri take the abandoned choker, holding each end between his thumb and index in examination. "Maybe I can put good use to this ugly thing!" 

The suffering scream echos the room when Victor's cock is tied mercilessly with the string of velvet. Yuuri, laughing like a mad man after having the choker around the base of Victor's cock. The dangling diamond shines over the glistening head and settles at the slit.

"Wow! It looks even better like this! And the diamond where it belongs." Yuuri praises, getting up on his feet.

"Yuuri, please!" Victor cries. And Yuuri stands over his shaking body, bringing his phone.

"Too gorgeous," The phone camera clicks as Yuuri takes countless photos from his superior angle of Victor shuddering and whimpering and crying. Each capture is an obscene masterpiece, filled with artful eroticism. "The camera loves..adores you Vitya. What a divine image! So beautiful! This is your best photoshoot, and I'm the only one to see it!"

"Da..daddy.. Please.. It hurts! Please!" It's a mixture of pain and pleasure that rocks his body vigorously. He is dying for a release, his cock is screaming and his pleads repeat non stop. 

"Let's make it fast then!"

And so fast, he crouches down and flips Victor on his stomach. And he prepares him in no time, especially that Victor already prepared himself before in anticipation. It all happens too fast, Yuuri losing himself inside him, fucking him mercilessly, clenching his arms around Victor's torso and chest. And Victor screams and screams every time Yuuri hits his spot. His cock is painfully hard and it's beginning to go numb. 

"Now..tell..ahhh..me..why..were..hmmm..ah.. teasing me.." Yuuri roars every word inbetween his thrusts.

Victor gasps, voice broken with tears."Because I missed you, I missed you so much! And you..you were avoiding me. And I go crazy when you do that." He screams the words rapidly breathlessly. He can't see Yuuri's face, but he's dying to, to know his reaction to these words, he wants to more than he wants to come. 

"Oh Victor!" Yuuri sings and Victor turns his head glancing at him. Yuuri immediately meets him with a consuming kiss. At the same time his hand moves to the cold numb cock of Victor, untying the torturing knot. And with few warming strokes, Victor has the most intense orgasm in a long time. At the same time his insides are rained with Yuuri's cum. And they both moan in harmony into each other's mouths.

When Yuuri regains his power and comes down from the high of his orgasm, he quickly frees Victor's hand, and encloses him with his arm in a tight embrace. He showers his wrists and hands with kisses then moves to his neck and face and lips, everywhere he could reach. And Victor is still a shuddering sobbing mess.

Yuuri carries him off the floor and carefully places him on their bed. His hands gently massage the cramped muscles of Victor's shoulders and back, followed by his healing mouth licking at the wounded marks on the neck. 

"Baby boy are you fine? Please tell me if something is hurting or paining you." 

Victor's still sweating, breathing in and out deeply. He's starting to relax under Yuuri's melting tenderness. Finally he's capable of speaking. "Are you angry with me?" He asks with a trembling voice, too scared and insecure. 

"No no my baby boy, I'm not. I was angry with you yes, but I'm no longer. I'm so sorry if I was harsh with you. I shouldn't have done that." He scatters kisses all over his face, licking the sweat and tears wetting the blood red skin. 

Victor's arms reach to hug Yuuri closer to him. Yuuri was too jealous that he couldn't think straight. And it makes Victor's blood sing in his veins. Because he's that important to him, because Yuuri wants Victor to be his only. He's not getting tired of him, he wants the world to know he is his even if subtly. And maybe they aren't at the best state if their relationship right now, but Victor sees assured now, that Yuuri still wants him. 

Yes, Victor will work hard to be someone Yuuri could be proud of. Victor loves Yuuri so much, and even if the feeling isn't mutual, Victor is sure that, at least, he's special and important to Yuuri's heart. It's unhealthy to base these conclusions on Yuuri's possessive behaviours like tonight's. But at least it gives him a clue calming his anxious heart. 

 

***********

Victor sits up with feeling like a train ran over his body. He checks the time, it's passed noon and it's reasonable he slept all that time. An irritation crosses him when he realizes he's on his own again. Yuuri isn't here. He wonders if he has something work related today although it's the weekend. Or is Yuuri still mad at him that he didn't want to face him when he woke up?

The only way to figure out is to to search for Yuuri himself, and talk! They need to talk at least about last night.

But Victor's pessimistic assumptions blinded him from the lovely red rose layer on Yuuri's side of the bed. Victor smiles widely on seeing it, he takes the rose and kisses its petals, each of them representing Yuuri. His daily one hundred roses are in their vases as usual. But this one is placed there intentionally to greet Victor. 

Victor gathers the remnants of his power and manages to leave the bed. He puts a satin robe on his body, and looks at himself in the full length mirror. God, he looks and feels disgusting. 

His entire body is sticky and greasy, face smeared with all the dry swear and tears with his hair tangled unattractively. And his eyes are red and crusty. But what makes him gape is seeing the marks covering his skin. It's true he loves it when Yuuri marks him, and maybe he loves sporting few love bites on the neck to show them off. But his neck is..crazy!

There's an impressive collar of hickeys around his neck, Yuuri's dedication! Victor chuckles as he feels up the assaulted skin of his poor neck. His eyes scan the room until he finds it, the accuser choker. He walks to it and picks it up. And on examining it he remembers it strapping the base of his cock and holding him from coming. A blush colors his cheeks and ears. Yuuri could be really..kinky! He's thankful that the choker didn't cause some serious damage though.

When Victor searches for Yuuri hoping he didn't leave, he finds the doors to the rooftop swimming pool open, and he guesses that Yuuri might be there. 

Victor is right, he finds Yuuri in the pool, resting his arms and head on the edge overlooking the entire city from the hight of the skyscraper. Victor still feels dizzy just by stepping inside the water. A rooftop pool with glass walls overlooking the streets is the scariest thing Victor has exprienced. But Yuuri sort of likes it, and also likes laughing at Victor when he cowardly cringes to Yuuri fearing to fall out of the pool if he goes near the edge. 

Yuuri's back is to Victor, so he doesn't notice his presence until Victor dips his body in the water. And when Yuuri turns his head, he laughs seeing the scared expression on Victor's face. 

Yuuri swims to him, and takes him in his arms while Victor wraps his limbs tightly around him.

"Good late morning you lazy babe." Victor answers with a luscious kiss. And Yuuri swims then away from the scary edge, resting their back to the pool wall. 

"Are you feeling well?"

"Yes daddy!" Victor giggles cheekily, and Yuuri kisses his eye. 

"Your breath stinks." Yuuri teases him, pinching his own nose closed. 

"Yours is amazing!" And Victor shoves his tongue inside Yuuri's welcoming mouth, not giving a damn to his own smelly breath.

Few minutes into kissing, Yuuri pulls back. His eyes are still tender but his face is more serious now. Victor figures out now it's time to talk. 

"Listen, last night I was awful, I made you cry, and threatened you. And I would never forgive myself if I hurt you."

"No, stop. It's my fault. My stupidity made you angry, I teases you in a way I shouldn't have done just because I'm an attention whore and you were busy. And I acted like a pathetic asshole, even though I knew how you hate it when I flirt with someone else." 

"Still! Even if I was too angry, I should have controlled myself. I hurt you physically, it was unsafe and dangerous!"

"You mean when choked by own dick, true I felt like it will fall off!" Victor says with a straight face. But he fails to restrain his giggle when he sees the guilty look on Yuuri's face. 

"It was fine I swear. It was actually too hot, too good to be true! I want you to do it again." 

"Shut up that was dangerous. Thank god nothing bad happened to you. And I'm not doing that again at all! Cock rings exist for a reason." 

"Oh Yuuri! And you say I'm dramatic. Come on, nothing bad happened."

Yuuri hugs him, his fingers creep to Victor's ear, rubbing the sensitive spot beneath the earlobe, and Victor moans deliciously. Then Yuuri's mouth takes over, sweetly licking and kissing. Then his lips trace the hickeys traversing Victor's neck. 

"I don't regret doing that though."

Victor giggles as he closes his eyes dissolving completely under Yuuri's lips. "Oh right! What an I going to do about that. I have a photoshoot after tomorrow, and I'm sure that..thing will persist for few more days!" He whines sweetly. 

"Good!" Yuuri says as he bites gently at the juncture of his neck and shoulder. And Victor chuckles when more. 

"But seriously Yuuri, I'm sorry. It's just I guess.. I reel we are drifting apart. There's a growing distance between us. And I couldn't stand it. Yuuri you are not getting bored of me, are you?"

"What? This is crazy Victor! Of course not. I.. I understand your sense of insecurity and how distant I'm but.. I can't explain it. Just..please know I'm not leaving you or anything."

"Is it because of my classes?"

"What?"

"Is it repulsing you? That I'm trying to.."

Yuuri interrupts him. "Victor you can do anything you want and I'm never stopping you. Baby boy I support you in everything. As long as it makes you happy, I'm never against anything you want."

"So you are not mad that I'm trying to..learn about something new, that I might want to change few things about my life? That I can't devote my whole time for you?"

"Absolutely not, Vitya. I just want you happy!"

Victor grins and he initiated a hard kiss. Yuuri's few words have a magical effect on him. Maybe he can't express his feelings, or t as lol more, bit Victor understand the sentiment behind every one of his words. 

Yuuri wants him happy. And he always emphasizes on this wish. And if Yuuri always tries to make him happy, then he can love him. Because Yuuri's love is what makes Victor the happiest!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the choker thing, it's too dangerous but I had to do it. Thankfully Victor's dick is fine, but Yuuri acknowledges he was a dramatic prick and he shouldn't have done that.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> Next chapter might be in Yuuri's point of view, and finally we can see what's inside his head towards his baby boy


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, hope you are doing great.  
> I really hope you enjoy this chapter, nothing much happens here but we get a Yuuri pov!  
> Sorry in advance to all the weird mistakes you'll find, I always fail to catch all them all. I hope you don't mind.

Being extremely wealthy allows Yuuri to afford the best luxuries in the world. He is living at a skyscraper penthouse on top of New York City. Overly expensive cars and private jets are the means of everyday transportation. The rare vacations he finds time for can be anywhere around the world. Exclusive customized items and personal possessions come from the biggest name brands, etc.. 

However, the most exclusive valuable luxury Yuuri can afford is waking up everyday to the most marvelous face he's ever seen. Victor, the divine being that accidentally fell from the heavens, god's blessing gift for him.

Yuuri stares closely at Victor's perfect sleeping forn, not a single flaw can be seen. The way he sleeps is so damn poetic in description, free from the human imperfection and too idealistic to be true. It's fascinating, the way the golden rays of the early sun fall and illuminate the gorgeous features of him, making his pale skin glow. 

And his hair! Don't get Yuuri to even start on Victor's growing hair. It's long enough now to reach armpit length. It's too tempting to touch and brush. The way it's spread out on the pillows, surrounding his head like a radiating halo, is beautiful. 

Victor's long hickey covered neck, his freckled broad shoulders, his delicious collarbones, his naked upper body, the whole image of him makes Yuuri overwhelmed and awestruck. It may be his smitten eyes exaggerating the beauty of Victor, but it's the only way he can see him.

He won't stop fawning over him like a dumb teenager crushing on the school king. He does actually feel like a teenager. Like he's finally living the lost years of his early youth when he was supposed to lose his mind to his desires and pleasures like a regular teenager. A compensation to his robbed adolescence. He feels like living..just living when he's with Victor. 

But he knows it isn't just some late teenage dreams coming true. He knows it isn't just a mere lustful physical attraction making him lose his mind. It goes beyond the stolen moments of pleasure, and the fascination with an otherworldly creature heating up his cold life. Yeah he wishs things were that simple. 

Oh Victor! when will Yuuri ever possess the ability to word his feelings for him out loud, to express his emotions? How can he describe the genuine mature feelings he has for him that goes beyond an exciting secret affair? Yuuri loves Victor!

He's mad about him, to the point he can't picture a life without him. It isn't even a life without Victor, it's death, just like the life he used to have. It never crossed his mind that Victor would be such an important part of his life, Yuuri dares to even admit that Victor now is the most important thing in his life.

Before him, Yuuri was completely devoted to his job, it was the only thing that made sense to his life. He had lived that isolated cruel life, nothing of passion or interest to thrill him. His family have always been like work partners. They raised him to be another member of their big business organization. And he didn't disappoint them, the first on class every school year, business degree from Harvard, the youngest CEO for a regional branch voted by the board, he was the perfect son.

He was satisfied, or he thought he was. He never yearned to love or relationships or other humans in general. He had one thing he was exceptionally good at and he wasn't going to waste his time and efforts on any other thing. So it was a calm content life, apart from the job stress which was and is still huge. 

It was an empty hollow life, but he was more than fine with it. Until one night, an angel landed on his lap from the sky, an obnoxiously drunk angel lacking the basics of manners. And since that night Yuuri has discovered there's a living organ inside his chest beating for more than pumping blood.

Almost three years ago, a peaceful night dinner night at a hotel restaurant in Barcelona with his assistant and the closest person to a best friend to him, Phichit, turned into a messy chaos shaking the core of Yuuri's relatively quiet life. It was that too loud group of guys just being guys. It was irritating for Yuuri and the likes of his preservation, how they laughed and joked and drank like they were at some vulgar low wage workers pub. 

Yuuri tried so hard to avoid their existence, as if they would disappear if he pretended they weren't there. Unfortunately, one of them was too unavoidable, so existing and mind occupying. Yuuri tried to look the other way, to pass the time talking with Phichit, to distract himself with his phone, or even focus on his uneaten food. Nothing worked. 

So he settled for lowering his intense gaze while watching attentively the one man who had sworn to be watched. He was centering the group of loud guys who were following him likehe was their prophet holding a miracle. It's clear he got them wrapped around his finger as they moved like they were hypnotized by him, unaware of anything that isn't him. And they had every reason to. 

Even the fancy restaurant diners not very subtly kept an eye on him as he joked and drank and danced to the boring background music. Not giving a fuck as he was being passed to each one of his group, getting kissed and groped and worshiped like an idol. It was all too eye catching. A free erotic show. 

And who was Yuuri to resist that charming presence pouring life proudly all over the place? The most handsome- no the most beautiful man he'd ever seen was putting on an entertaining show and Yuuri was just a human. And he asked himself, what does it take be that..carefree? 

Yuuri couldn't recall a single moment of his life when he was even genuinely laughing like the man he was watching. He took ballroom dancing class for formalities and ettiquete ,and not a single time he looked in his perfect calculated moves as good as the man moving his limbs in embarrassing disarray but with an open heart.

Yuuri was lost into his bitter thoughts until he felt a wight landing on his lap, literally fell into it. Yuuri became alert to the silver haired laughing mass on top of him. The beautiful guy was shamelessly sitting on him, hysterically laughing 

"Sorry I accidentally tripped!" The beauty apologized in heavily accented slurred English, then giggled uncontrollably as he wrapped his arm around Yuuri's chair. And Yuuri was staring wide eyed at him, questioning himself how the hell would anybody accidentally trip into someone's lap? 

He tried to reply, but the vibrant blue eyes stole the coherent speech from his tongue. It was the cue for Phichit to intervene. He got up and tried to help. "It's fine mister, do you need a hand?"

The beauty looked with confused eyes between the two faces of Yuuri and Phichit, then he looked back at Yuuri, giggling again. "I have two hands."

"Yeah I've noticed, I mean do you need me to help you get up? You're kinda sitting on someone." Phichit said cheerfully, reaching to him.

"No! It's cozy here in that someone!" He protested as he wrapped his other arm around dumbstruck Yuuri, cuddling and snuggling to him intimately. Yuuri didn't know what to do, or what to say. Maybe it was really cozy like that.

The beauty retracted, looking at Yuuri in the eyes. He smirked wickedly, causing Yuuri to gulp. But Yuuri had to do something.

"Sir, could you please get off me, it's an irresponsible behavior and you are causing me a trouble." Yuuri said strictly, hopefully to appear intimidating.

"Oh I can relief any troubles I cause you." He whispered slowly and Yuuri wasn't an idiot to not get the innuendo. He couldn't believe he actually said that.

"Please, get off me!" That time he sounded sharper with a frown on his face.

"Oh do you want me to get you off?" And that was the last straw.

"Young man get off me now and have some decency, don't you have any shame? You might get in a real trouble if you continue your misbehavior. I could even accuse you with sexual misconduct and I have a witness here. Now get off of me and act like an adult or you'll get ina real trouble, and not a good one!" Yuuri wanted as he shook him off, causing the guy to lose his balance and fall to the ground.

The intoxicated man shook with laughter on the floor. And his laughter was the most musical tone Yuuri had ever heard. But he was trying to keep himself together. 

"You sound like my dad a lot!" He jumped on his feet, and closed his face to Yuuri's. "Or you can even be my dad! Would you like to be my daddy?"

And from that originated the "daddy" thing for Yuuri. As soon as he heard the word rolling sinfully on the beauty's tongue, something hit him hard. It was like a magical spell getting Yuuri to hooked to the playboy. It made his knees go weak. Then he wasn't aware he was being dragged to dance with the beautiful man, who excessively used the word "daddy". And Phichit didn't intervene, would he hate for Yuuri to have some good time? 

But there was a small anxious sound in the back of Yuuri's mind, going in like a siren. The fear of being seen in this inappropriate position. But that sound was quickly silenced by the louder sound of the silver haired prince's exciting laughing. Yuuri was astonished how he gracefully moved when he was obviously extremely drunk, he was too coordinated and balanced for a drunk person. And Yuuri had never had a dance like that.

As they were tangoing to La Cumparsita, Victor, as he learned his name, kept talking and talking. And with each world, Yuuri was more and more mesmerized. Even when most of his talk was meaningless and incoherent. Yuuri hated unnecessary talking, he hated casual chatting, hated gossiping and small talks and talking about things that weren't important. But he listened attentively to every silly word Victor mouthed.

And Victor kept calling him daddy, encouraging him to call him his baby for the night. He told him how good boy he was be if Yuuri took care of him. How he never felt like he wanted to belong to someone like he wanted to Yuuri then. And he wanted Yuuri to spoil and pamper him. 

"Why are you calling me daddy? I'm not that old!" Yuuri interrogated him with a stern tone, very different from the sensuality of their dance.

"Cause you sounded like my daddy, but you are the most handsomest daddiest daddy I ever met, will you let me be your baby boy? I will be a good baby. You can always punish me when I'm naughty and reward me when I'm good.." Victor kept giggling senselessly, and Yuuri was getting more overwhelmed by his weird words. 

Victor wrapped a leg around Yuuri's waist, causing him a discomfort when he noticed that their crotches were in contact, and they both were hard. 

"Spoil me and buy me gifts and.." Victor hiccuped, then continued, "and just be my daddy.." Suddenly, he leaned to him very closely and his moist tongue obscenely licked Yuuri's cheek making Yuuri choke. 

"Umm, do you need money or something?" Yuuri asked in confusion and his breathing rate increased. He tries to preserve a space between their bodies, but Victor didn't give him a room to breath. 

Victor's head fell back as he loudly chuckled. Then he gazed at Yuuri with sinful eyes, making his mouth go dry. "I need you inside me actually!"

So it was only logical for them to be at a hotel room the next minute, tangled in one naked hot sweaty mass of heated passion. Yuuri felt like he was being kidnapped, with no will of his own. But he was too weak, surrounded, driven by his desires and lust. His sexual life wasn't very exciting already, so just the sheer contact with Victor's sculpted body was earth shattering.

The mattress sank down as they dived into it with their weights. Victor was making all those delicious noises that made Yuuri's cock twitch and Yuuri lost himself in kissing him. Victor kept mumbling and whining in Russian and Yuuri was sure he would have felt scandalized if he had enough knowledge of the language. 

And as Yuuri was spreading wet kisses all over Victor's salty face, he realized something made him pull away immediately. But Victor clutched him harder and tighter, refusing to let him go with a whine.

"Victor..I think you are not sober enough to do that!" Yuuri says breathlessly. And Victor responded first with a lewd kiss. 

"Don't worry. I'm aware enough to please you daddy!" He renewed the kiss, and Yuuri wanted to much to lose himself again, but the voice of reason stopped him.

"No, I mean..you are drunk and I'm taking advantage of you!"

"Oh please take advantage of me! You have my concept.." God he sounded so delicious, but what was he even saying? 

"Concept?"

Victor snorted. "Concept? Oh I meant consent! Me no English.." God his laughter was so beautiful. "You have my consent to make me your bitch!"

Then Yuuri lost his mind. Yuuri had decided that would be the best night of his life, even if it was just one night stand. And while Yuuri was thrusting mercilessly into Victor, he stared deep in Victor's begging red face. And suddenly he pictured a whole life with that face. Maybe it wasn't the right time to think, not when he was on the verge of the most epic orgasm of his life, but his mind never stopped working. 

And he began to wonder, what was Victor like when he was sober? How was his life? What did he do and how did he live? What were his likes as my dislikes? What were his favorite foods? Did he prefer coffee or tea? Where did he live? Would he live at a penthouse in New York? What would waking up next to him every morning feel like? Was he lonely too? 

"Yuuri..why are you so so sad?" Victor was whimpering beneath him, but the question took Yuuri with shock. He realized that he had stopped moving, they were then just an immobile mass. And they were staring at each other's eyes. Victor's eyes were the kindest thing Yuuri had seen. He reached his hand to tenderly caress Yuuri's cheek. 

"I.. I'm not sad!" Yuuri denied in hesitation, but his voice was exposing his lie 

"You are. You are too sad.. too beautiful, so sad.. so sad.." Victor's eyes were too heavy, until they closed and never opened again, he was out. And Yuuri realized they still hadn't come. He gently pulled out of him. And finished himself with his fist. Then he pulled the blankets upto cover their bodies. Yuuri slept with Victor in his arms.

When the morning came, for the first time in a long time Yuuri felt like crying. For what? He wasn't sure. But he had to leave to leave the bed anyway and hurry up to his room since he had a flight to catch in less than two hours. It was impossible to wake up Victor, so Yuuri just printed a kiss on his forehead, and on the nightstand, he left a piece of paper with his full name and his very personal phone number. 

His heart fluttered as he threw one last longing look at the sleeping beauty, then he left with a hope. 

But Victor never called. Of course!

Why was Yuuri even surprised? It was too predictable, since when did he he become a fool clinging to false hopes? It was just a one night stand with a drunk man who wouldn't remember it the next day. And even if he remembered it, he would remember it as the night he fell asleep in the middle of the most boring he had. What was Yuuri even thinking? 

A playboy like Victor, with his heavenly beauty and crazy sexual appeal, why would he bother to contact someone who couldn't even to get him off? And Yuuri knew he wasn't the most interesting company. Victor was just too drunk to judge better. In fact, Yuuri was grateful that Victor might have forgotton about him completely. Yeah, it was better like that. And he slapped himself for occupying his mind with some that that trivial. So he decided to forget about it too. He had more important things in his life. 

And he miserably failed. 

The should be forgotten night turned into the night of a life time, crafted deep in his memory. And Yuuri couldn't get over it. After a terrible conflict and resistance Yuuri gave up to the temptation of knowing more about Victor. In less polite language, to stalk him. Yuuri had thought that if Victor remained mysterious to him it would be easier to forget about him. But he couldn't stand it. It actually drew his curiosity even more. 

And searching Victor Nikiforov was fruitful, because luckily Victor was a social butterfly. He had a reputation too due to being a son of an important businessman in Russia, so he was like a public figure. Yuuri easily found out much about him, and Victor had no sense of privacy. So his social media was like living with him day by day. And Yuuri's obsession magnified more and more as he kept watching Victor's luxurious privileged life from afar.

Victor was twenty. Victor was jobless with a high school education. Victor was a party monster. Victor was a traveller. Victor was a huge playboy. Victor was funny and sexy, kind and vain, interesting and shallow, simple and lovely. His character was something you couldn't resist. He easily became everything to Yuuri.

So Yuuri's empty cold life where nothing happened but work and things related to it, became filled and occupied by Victor. And it was crazy how he took up much of Yuuri's life when he wasn't even there.

When Yuuri wasn't working he was thinking about him. When he was spending his free time with his only hobby, cooking, he cooked with Victor in his mind, as if that heal was for him. When he woke up, he woke up to a delusional image of Victor's morning smile. Victor was too involved in the details of Yuuri's daily life.

He felt it was wrong and immoral, an unhealthy obsession that a normal functioning human shouldn't have. But with every day passed, his feeling for him rooted deep in his heart. Maybe because it was his first love? Yes he dared to use that word, because he couldn't find other word for the feelings he had for Victor. So he decides to call it love. 

But love was such a mature pure emotion. Did this concept apply on his feelings? An infatuation couldn't last that long. Curiosity was already fulfilled with following Victor's social media, he displayed his life proudly and left too little for imagination. A crush is a small word for what Yuuri had. An obsession could certainly apply in that situation, but let Yuuri lie to himself and call it love. He wasn't doing Victor any harm anyway. 

Did saving Victor's exquisite photos and selfies and masturbating to them like a horny teenager every night count as harm though? And from then Yuuri began to question his morality. He kept questioning everything, he wasn't recognizing himself anymore. He became miserable, hopeful, delusional, he became many things. But feeling miserable over an unrequited love was better than feeling nothing, he finally felt alive. 

The months passed and Yuuri got used to Victor's permanent hypothetical presence in his life. And he accepted that it might develop to something more a constant daydream. But it was better than nothing at all. Just a photo on his instagram account, of him smiling his perfect heart shaped smile, was enough for Yuuri to make his chest warm.

And maybe Yuuri was just too greedy. He was greedy for every photo, every caption, every comment. And then there was a major problem facing him. Victor mostly talked and typed in Russian, sometimes French or English, but mostly Russian. He could use the translation yes, but it wasn't just the captions and comments and status updates, there were those videos. And oh those videos! Occasional videos of him, and he talked in them, and oh god when he talked in Russian! 

As a result, Yuuri came to a conclusion; he had to pursue a new hobby. He didn't have any hobbies anyway, and learning a new language was a common hobby. So he hired a private tutor to learn a new language, Russian. It wasn't weird to learn a new language, right? But it was better to be kept secret. Few lessons at his free time were a good a way to spend that free time, which he barely had. But with every new word he could read or understand, he felt closer to Victor.

That was keeping him alive, Victor's lively updates. And when the daily updates suddenly stopped, Yuuri lost his mind. The first few days passing without a photo or a word made him wary and anxious. But he had to be optimistic and not assume the worst. He convinced himself that Victor was just too busy. And he prayed nothing bad happened to him.

But when the suspicious silence prolonged, Yuuri couldn't take it and he started his investigations. It made it much easier that Victor was already a prominent figure in the Russian upper class, with his many foreign connections. And he was definitely a subject to gossip. Yuuri managed to know what exactly happened to Victor, thanks to Phichit's super abilities. There was a reason Yuuri depended on him in everything, especially the hard missions. 

Yuuri knew it all, Victor became homeless, his father literally threw him out of his house and left him vulnerable, without the smallest of help. And Yuuri became furious, that a man was heartless enough to do that to his own son. And maybe life was too unfair that it gave someone like Victor to a total asshole as his father. 

He couldn't imagine, how a delicate creature like Victor, who was born to be a prince would survive a life like that? He wanted to find him and protect him from the hardships of life. Victor was a diamond, a diamond should be delicately wrapped in a sheet of silk inside a velvet lined golden box, and kept inside a secure safe out of the eye. But that was a disturbing analogue to Yuuri. 

Victor was a glowing star should be in the sky out of the reach, only lightung the night from afar. He was an entire sun lighting the world. He was a rose should be watered and protected. And Yuuri had to find him and take care of him. Maybe he hadn't had anything to offer to him before, but with his recent circumstances, Yuuri had everything to offer to him.

He followed every new about him, his struggles, his new career. Yeah, suddenly Yuuri was into the Russian fashion scene. And it took Phichit everything to stop him from attending a random local fashion show somewhere in Moscow or St.Petersburg. At times Yuuri was thankful he had Phichit for keeping him from totally losing his sanity, he was the last thread to reason that Yuuri could hold on to.

Then an idea sparked in his mind, if Yuuri's business was already involved in fashion, why wouldn't he use it to his advantage? A small suggestion indirectly sent to Christophe Giacometti, the famous model, to invite his friend Victor to New York seemed a good idea. Unfortunately, Yuuri was away from New York for a long period when the idea crossed his mind. So Victor was already in New York while Yuuri was in China..for two more months! 

But finally Yuuri felt it, he was only few steps away from living, from happiness. Victor was so near yet so far, if things worked out the way he planned to,he would get him! Yuuri couldn't believe that it could actually happen. He didn't want to cling to a false hope, his heart was already torn and broken, he wouldn't handle more pain.

So Yuuri has that plan to save Victor from his troubles and earn him at the same way. Hadn't he called him daddy at the first night they met? And what a daddy would do? Spend money to take care of his baby boy. And maybe Yuuri wasn't that exciting type of a person, but he had enough money to give Victor the level of life he was used to. 

It sounded wrong, to buy Victor's love with money, to use his need and struggle to blackmail him into a relationship with him. But what more could he give him and what did Yuuri even gave to impress him other than a fat bank account and an above the world house and a flying car? Yuuri was desperate to even spend just one more night with Victor, even if it's paid for. 

He would keep their relationship as casual as possible to not freak Victor out. Yuuri could easily mask his love, he wasn't much of a lover to start with. It's okay if Victor didn't love him back. It's okay if he wanted Yuuri for his money, Victor deservesld to have a good life anyway. All Yuuri wanted was to stay close to him, to never leave him. That if he ever got him.

But there was also the dilemma of his reputation and image if he was known to have a relationship of that kind, or any relationship to be honest that wasn't carefully calculated. What would he do of his family, his partners, his board, and his employees knew he was having an affair with a male broke Russian model? Not a good look on him, not heternormative enough, and not in his financial advantage. So he had to also keep it secret. 

Maybe it was cowardly thing to do, to not face either of Victor with his real feelings, nor the people around him. But Yuuri couldn't do anything about it, he was a coward, he had stopped thinking straight since Victor had entered his life, and he wouldn't risk losing him when he was just too close to falling get him.

Anyway, an arrangement was made with Chris, what an angel! He would somehow bring Victor's attention to Yuuri and somehow "promote" his image to him at the fashion even they were supposed to meet on. Yuuri's heart was beating rapidly that night, he couldn't believe that at least he would see Victor gain face to face, after more than a year and a half of digital photos and distant watching, and endless number of daydreams. 

And when it happened, it took Yuuri everything to control himself and not kneel before Victor to declare his undying love to him. Victor was just too gorgeous to be real, he was more perfect than the last time Yuuri had seen him. And it was easy to see how desired he was, it was a tough competition for Yuuri. But Yuuri had always won, and he never accepted a loss. And he wouldn't lose Victor to some horny guy who didn't have a fraction of the pics Yuuri had for him.

Luckily, the first part of the night, Yuuri stood in Victor's visual feel, and.. Victor was exchanging gazes with him. He couldn't believe him, did Victor really notice Yuuri? Was he interested in him? Maybe he even recognized him? But no, it didn't seem like Victor remembered him from his drunken night. Maybe he was genuinely interested in him, and that gave Yuuri more confidence. 

And why wouldn't he be attracted to Yuuri anyway? Hadn't it been he the first to approach him in their first meeting? Hadn't it been he the one who had wanted to dance and had flirted with him nonstop? Hadn't it been Victor the one who had seduced Yuuri to a bedroom to have a steamy night with him? So why wouldn't he be attracted to him again?

The plan perfectly worked, everything worked. Victor was into Yuuri, if it wasn't because of Yuuri himself at least it was for his status. He could count on Chris. And they really talked after Yuuri appeared for him in a heroic situation when he saved him from a persistent guy, who was actually hired by Yuuri. But that was a beside point. And Yuuri managed to impress Victor, and he would take it further to totally blur his eyes with the glowing of his good life.

Since then they have been together. And Yuuri actually wakes up to Victor every day. And not a single morning passed without feeling blessed he got to know what is it like to wake up next to him and see him first thing in the morning. Over a year they have been together, and Yuuri can admit he found a purpose to his life, to live with and for Victor.

Yuuri is in the happiest state of his life, for more than a year. However, ever since that relationship has started, Yuuri started to have that one fear. And with each passing day, the fear keeps growing inside of him, like a fetus inside a mother. The fear of the day it will all come to an end. He's not naive, he knows this can't last. It isn't a fairytale with a happy ending, nothing lasts forever, especially love. 

Because nothing will make Victor stay with Yuuri for the rest if his life. Not even Yuuri's fortunes. At any day, Victor could easily find someone else to provide him with care as Yuuri. Maybe his father will take him in again and he won't need Yuuri anymore. He will get bored of Yuuri and he will realize that Yuuri can't give him more than what he's already giving him. Yuuri can't even say more than few words to him. No matter how he tries, Yuuri never managed to admit his feelings for him.

He'd always tongue tied, unable to express with words. He could only use his words for empty sweet nothings, but it never went deeper than that. And Victor was used to being admired and worshiped. He was a huge playboy and the only thing that's holding him from his nature is Yuuri's monogamous conditions. But he c as n never get over how men and women are drooling over his live. And how responsive Victor can be, even if he doesn't mean to. Victor is a natural flirt and he loves to be showered with attention. 

Sometimes, no actually many times, Yuuri thinks Victor loves him back. It appears in his sincere looks and kind words and needy touches. But it's never enough to debunk Yuuri's doubts. Because once his heart is reassured, Victor does something to bring him back to the zero again. And it keeps Yuuri awake at night, the constant insecurity and anxiety. He is scared to death of the inevitable. 

Maybe Victor really love him, but Yuuri just don't get emotions, he doesn't know what to do. He has thought many times of just saying simple three words to Victor. 'I love you.' A very simple statement, just three words, but their weight on his tongue paralyze him, and make his mind shut down in dysfunction. Because what if he takes up his cute as he and pours out his feelings and Victor doesn't accept them? 

What if Victor felt obligated to return his feelings back in the same manner but that isn't what he really feels? But then again, Victor never actually took advantage of his relationship with Yuuri, he never exploited his access to Yuuri's money. It has always been Yuuri who give and give without Victor asking. But maybe he never asked because he never needed to? Maybe he's sufficient with what Yuuri provides him and doesn't want to be greedy? 

The doubts and fears were already too much, and Victor had to add more to them, when he came to Yuuri announcing a career shift and his desire to become someone of his own. It has been a disaster for Yuuri, the implication of what Victor is doing. The only thing that guaranteed Victor's stay was his total dependency on Yuuri. When he suddenly decided he wanted to change his life and throw away everything he has, Yuuri felt threatened. 

Yuuri doesn't even understand why Victor would give up his profession for something harder and he knows nothing about, all under the cover of struggling and working. He's already a good model, and him thinking he could just change his career to prove himself is plain stupid. Because he's already working and he's building a name and a reputation for him as a model. And Yuuri believes that his job is as ready important and he doesn't need to prove it to someone else. 

It will give Victor something to dedicate his entire time and effort too, and Yuuri's time with him is already limited. And if this works for Victor, he will no longer need him for anything. Yuuri despises himself for being that selfish, for standing against Victor's dreams because he feels threatened and afraid of losing him.

The point is Yuuri can't avoid the feeling of insecurity, and he can't pretend everything is fine and Victor isn't slipping away from his fingers. He just knows it will come, and this day is coming closer. And he's becoming more and more attached to him, as if it's even possible. Sometimes he tells himself that he knows Victor better than anyone else, no one in the world knows the real Victor as he dues, so why can't he trust the intuition that Victor lives him back? Why does his mind prevent him from understanding Victor's feelings?

Yuuri notices Victor stirring from his sleep. He stretches his body then his eyes flutter open. Yuuri leaned over him, and greeted him with kisses in his chin and lips and cheeks. Victor giggles beautifully. 

"Good morning Yuuri." He whispers. 

"Good morning bay boy. I'll make a breakfast." 

Before Yuuri could get out of the bed, Victor pulls him back to bed and climbs on top of him making him chuckle. "I'm hungry for something else right now!' 

 

**********

As Yuuri is busy preparing one of mouthwatering morning plates, and Victor is in the shower, he gets a phone call from Phichit. 

"Good morning Phichit, already calling? Can't wait to see me after an hour?" Yuuri jokes as he mixes and chops and does whatever magic belly filling foods.

"Of course I miss you sir, can't believe the morning finally came and we are meeting. But I do actually have something important to tell you." Phichit's voice changes from cheerful to serious. And it begins to concern Yuuri.

"What is that it?"

"Miss Mari called multiple times. She says you don't answer her calls for reply to her messages. So she was asking me if you were still alive."

Yuuri snorts. "I thought it was something important for real. How can you misprioritize things like this Phichit? And I thought I could always count on you, you are sucking at your job right now."

"Excuse me, Mr Yuuri Katsuk! But if you think the wrath of miss Mari Katsuki isn't an emergency then, no offence, you are losing your mind."

"Okay fair enough. You are right, but I already know what she wants."

"So you're avoiding her on purpose? That's bold Mr Yuuri!"

Yuuri laughs, but he wishes it was funny. "I'm being a little adventurous. You have know idea what she wants from me."

"Of course I do! She wants you to marry Miss Sophia Grant the chief operation officer of DTX IT!"

Yuuri winces on hearing Phichit. "Shut up or I'll fire you! How do you even know about that? I still haven't told anybody."

Phichit chuckles humorously, although Yuuri doesn't find the situation funny at all. He's faced by an actual trouble. "Who do you think brought all the necessary information about her and her father's company? Of course I know that miss Mari wants you to get married to the daughter of the founder of one of the rising information technology companies recently."

"Don't say it in my face or rather my ears like this, Phichit. Let me continue living in my peaceful denial. I'm still hoping she's joking."

"I don't really think she's joking Mr Yuuri. I mean it's not the first time she tries to arrange you a marriage, but I've never seen her determined and serious about someone like that Sophia. Like she's actually going for it. I mean it makes sense, your father has been trying to merge an information technology company to the group and the board think that too. And that's the perfect opportunity to be honest."

"We are in the second decade of the third millennium, we can make business partnerships without family ties for heaven's sake!" Yuuri groans, he sounds whiny and it's very unlike him. He has a rational mind, a business perspective, and he's well aware of the whole situation. But it feels a little good to get out to Phichit.

"It's not just about the business, Mr Yuuri. But I can understand miss Mari, the nominated bride is quite impressive. I mean very well educated, she's a Harvard too, a genius in IT and computer science fields, very smart and well spoken. On top of all that, beautiful and sociable. She's the perfect match to boost your whole image."

"Are you promoting her to me or something?"

Phichit answers with another chuckle. And Yuuri shakes his head. Doss he really need more problems than what he already got? 

Yuuri turns his head left and right, checking it it's safe to talk freely. He can't risk Victor hearing him. 

"I have no idea what you to do if they are really serious about that. But there's no way I'm getting married to that woman or any other woman." 

Phichit sighs in sympathy. And Yuuri thinks he probably sounds pathetic and desperate. Luckily, Phichit would never judge or mock him. 

"So, umm..what does Mr Victor think about the Porsche?" He asks in attempt of changing the subject, which makes Yuuri instantly light up. 

"Oh I still haven't told him about it, but what do you think he will do? What we could you do if you got the latest Porsche 718 boxster as a present?"

"Probably get married to you at once. That if I don't die of cardiac arrest."

As Yuuri laughs he sees Victor coming out of their room. He comes towards Yuuri while drying his ling hair with a towel and walking in nothing but a long white shirt showing off his god given thighs and legs. Yuuri's mouth goes dry, and he immediately hangs up on Phichit without thinking of warning him. 

Victor stands behind Yuuri and wraps his arms around him as he nuzzles into his neck like a cat. And Yuuri nuzzles back in contentment. 

"Let's eat!" Yuuri tells him as he turns around and kisses him sweetly.

And after they have the breakfast and they get dressed to go out, Yuuri to his work and Victor to his class, Yuuri finds it the chance.

"By the way Otabek isn't taking you today."

"Is he busy? It's fine I can.."

"You can drive."

"Drive your car?" Victor is surprised. It's true that Yuuri has dedicated two of his three cars to Victor's service. But Victor never felt that they are his own. Otabek always drives him and he never even asked to drive a car himself. 

But Yuuri pulls out the new car keys from his pocket, and he dangles them in front if Victor's face, trying to contain his excitement. 

"You are going to drive your own car." Yuuri sings happily, expecting him Victor to scream. 

But he watches Victor's face fall, in a shock, but not a good shock. 

"What? What do you mean my own car?"

"I bought you a car, Vitya." He informs him, smiling hopefully. 

But Victor's face seems baffled. It isn't the reaction Yuuri was expecting. 

"But why? I didn't ask you for a car."

"Because weeks ago at the park, you told me you loved cars and you miss driving them."

"But I didn't mean you buy me a..is it a Porsche logo?" Victor protests and it's starting to get on Yuuri's nerves. 

"Victor, are you rejecting my gift? You should accept my gifts, you know." Yuuri's tone becomes more dominant, like he's ordering Victor to accept it. 

But Victor seems uncomfortable. Yuuri noticed how sharp he must sounded like. He rubs Victor's arm gently. "Baby boy, aren't you happy I got you a car?"

Victor looks conflicted, his eyes are sorry. And it's clear that he's going to reject. "Yuuri, I.. I don't need a car. I mean if you allow me to drive then you can let me drive your car instead of Otabek.".

"But this is different Victor, I want this car to be yours, your property. Something you truly own with your name on it."

"Yuuri, it's.. It's too expensive. I.. I can't accept it."

This is it, it's falling apart. 

"And since when you refuse my gifts even of they are too expensive? Victor, I'm supposed to spend money on you, remembe? That's our deal!" 

Yuuri instantly regrets what he said when he sees the hurt on Victor's face. His mind didn't filter the words before mouthing them. And now he implicated that the nature of their relationship is based mainly on the money. But isn't it the truth? But Victor doesn't want his expensive gift. What does it mean? 

Talk, talk Yuuri talk! Say something to save you. Say it doesn't mean what it referred to. Say this is not everything between them.. 

"Yuuri. I need to know something, what am I to you?" Victor crosses his arms, asking strictly. 

Yuuri can't find the words, his mind stopped working. It's blacking out. 

"You are the most beautiful and amazing man I've seen Victor.."

Victor angrily interrupts him, "No Yuuri! Don't tell me how beautiful I am. I don't need you to describe me, or how you see me. This is not what I meant. I want to know what am I to you, more than just being a gorgeous doll you like keeping it around!"

Yuuri sighs. "You..are so important to me. You make me happy. I make you happy too, Victor, right?"

Victor stares at him with his big bright eyes. Then he slowly nods. And Yuuri hugs him sweetly. 

"Then let me make you happy." he strokes his hair, and places kisses on his temple. 

"I'm happy just by being by your side." 

"Oh Victor!" Yuuri tightens his hug around Victor. Maybe he's just an idiot. God when he will ever gather his courage to confess to him.

"Then make me happy too, and accept the car." He pleads him, not sure why it became an important matter to him. Maybe because it means they are still normal, that Victor isn't liberated from his hold. It guarantees him to have Victor foe a longer time.

"Okay..thank you..daddy." Victor fakes a smile. Then he renews the embrace, a sincere one. Then it became clear to Yuuri, that Victor isn't settling for their usual relationship. And it means one thing from two, that Victor is getting tired from this relationship, or he wants more.

Yuuri captures his mouth in a chaste kiss and tickles Victor's side, causing him to laugh. 

"Then drive me to work today with your brand new car today." 

Victor smiles, and nods frantically. "I will show you how to drive. I'm tired if you driving like a sixty year old!"

Yuuri laughs. "I'm sure you can show he some moves to impress me!"

"But wait, is it really a Porsche?" Victor asks excitedly. Finally! The reaction Yuuri was waiting for. And Victor starts to babble enthusiastically about his favorite brands and what he used to drive. That's the Victor Yuuri knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that chapter, I really wanted to do a better job, but I'm really busy and I can barely find the time.
> 
> Did you like the reverse banquet too? 
> 
> Also please don't think Yuuri is a creepy stalker, he is just a poor boy deprived from the pleasures of life pretending to be a tough guy. And he was too anxious™ to confess his love to Victor or even approach him after their first meeting.
> 
> Also I know how this sounds ridiculous, but why don't they talk to each other? I know this is illogical, like they are just in love with each other, but of course it's a slow burn xD they need to miscommunicate and doubt and be so stupid 
> 
> I hope I did good ノ(・ω・)ノ thank you for reading


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to everyone who's still there and willing to read this :") I know it's been too too long since my last update and I really apologize. But life and school had been so hectic. My finals are in a month and I need to kill my self studying and revising. It's not easy to be a medical student :")   
> I will to try to finish my favorite fic as soon as I can cause I hate leaving things hanging like this for too long.   
> I honestly hope you didn't give up on this story. It's my favorite so far and the response to it from you is great and gives me much joy.   
> I really hope I don't disappoint. 
> 
> Anyway this chapter is shorter than my usual updates but I don't want to delay updating more than that so I just decided to post what I finished so far. Hopefully I'll have free time soon. 
> 
> Thank you for reading hope you enjoy

"These are the last documents need to be signed Mr Katsuki." Yuri says as he places another pile in front of Yuuri and takes the seat across his desk.

Yuuri flexes his neck right and left, clicking his stressed joints and slipping his fingers behind his glasses to rub the exhaustion away from his eyes. The fatigue is ripping his to shreds. He sighs. 

Then his phone rings, and one word on the screen is enough to revive him and bring a wide smile on his face. 

"Baby boy, miss me already?" He asks flirtatiously, and maybe he caught Yuri side eyeing him. But he's too exhausted and needy to care about Yuri's looks. 

"Yes, very much. You still have that dinner tonight?" Yuuri frowns on hearing Victor's gloomy voice on the other end if the line. Usually he's more cheerful when calling Yuuri, almost singing every word lovingly and speaking lots of flirting words.

"Yes baby. Is there something wrong with you? Your voice doesn't sound alright." He asks in concern.

"Just a long day, this is why I'm calling to tell you I'm out with Chris, just hanging out together. It's better than stay home alone since you're spending the night out." 

"Oh..that's fine. Yes it's actually better, have fun with him baby boy." 

"Thank you. By the way, I miss you like crazy. I so want to snuggle in your arms and never wake up for at least a week." He can hear the pout in his whining voice and it makes Yuuri's heart flutter in joy. 

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry I can't be with you right now. Just few hours and I'm all yours."

"Will you brush my hair and sing for me and shower me with kisses and feed me my favorite chocolate?" Victor's voice turns too cute making Yuuri's heart melt.

"I will do everything..everything you wish for my beautiful beautiful baby boy. I will be your faithful servant my prince." Yuuri coos at him adoringly. And Yuri isn't even trying to hide his judgmental looks anymore. But he doesn't care, everything that isn't Victor disappears from the world at the sound of his musical giggle. Yuuri clutches his heart at this sound. 

"I will be waiting in my most royal attire. I won't say much to leave it to your imagination but be sure the reality will exceed the imagination." His voice is seductive now, full of sin and promise. And Yuuri trembles just a little.

"Do you have any idea how embarrassing to be around my assistant now? You're killing me Vitya!" He tries to whisper, but his voice is so clear at the silent room. No point of this, Yuri will keep judging him.

Victor chuckles and blows a loud "Muah" though the line, landing directly on Yuuri's cheek. "I'll be waiting for you." And he hangs up. 

Yuuri can't get rid of the stupid grin on his face. But how to when Victor just brought him much joy by just a quick phone call? Although it's made Yuuri worry. Yes the call took a lovely direction eventually, but Yuuri could recognize the distress in Victor's voice. He's not fine.

He sighs. "What time is it?" Yuuri asks Yuri despite having his own watch.

Yuri takes a look at his watch. "It's seven thirty. Don't forget the business dinner by the way sir, it's at nine." 

"I think we should call it a day. I kept you for too long, you should go home. And I'll also go home to change for the meeting."

"Oh, but what about the dinner? Won't you need me sir?"

"No it's fine. Phichit will come instead."

"Are you calling my name?" Phichit exclaims as he storms inside the office, lively and cheerful as ever, as if he hasn't been working relentlessly for more than ten hours. He takes a seat opposite to Yuri, smiling cheerfully. It makes Yuuri a little more energized. At least this night won't be completely boring. 

"You're having dinner with us tonight. Get ready." Yuuri informs him with a restrained smile, trying to appear as professional as possible as he sees the panic taking over Phichit's face. 

"What? No I'm not. Pass!" Phichit groans too comically, making Yuuri snort.

"You can't pass, It's your job." Then he chuckles. 

Phichit crosses his arms in protest, pouting. "And I just wanted to give you some good news. Is that what I deserve?"

"What news?" Yuuri asks practically, eyes back on the paperwork in front of him. And Phichit shifts in his seat excitingly, ready to break his news. 

"So I knew from my trusted sources, and you know how trusted they are, that the Chinese collector who got the Basquait painting you were dying for at the last year's Christi's auction died two days ago! And his heirs are planning to sell his entire collection in an auction. And I talked to one of them and managed to convince them to sell us the Basquait instead of bidding for it, and it's really at a good price!"

"I'm not really sure how to feel about that. Should I be happy that I'm finally getting the painting or be sorry that the man died? How can you take it that easily? I never knew you were that heartless Phichit." Yuuri tosses him with an unimportant wrinkled piece of paper and Phichit manages to avoid it. 

"I'm just being professional Mr Yuuri. Isn't this why I'm your favorite employee?" Phichit bats his lashes seductively, causing Yuuri to laugh and Yuri to snort in disgust. 

"But isn't the guy dead for like only two days? His heirs are already planning to sell his collection?" Yuri wonders with a frown.

"The man's sons are businessmen like he was, of course they care the most about the money, it's all what he left them. Besides, I heard he wasn't really the best father in the world, so no time to get deeply sad for him." Phichit answers simply, but Yuuri has no idea why Phichit's justification hit him with a sudden gloom. 

Was it because he stated the real nature of their life? Work hard for years to collect fortune and power, then die without taking anything made during your busy life. Then everything moves to the heirs who won't even shed a tear at your death because you failed to give love like a normal family should do. You have become more like business partner with them. What's the point of such a life? 

Yuuri wonders when his parents die, will he get sad for them? He isn't even sure if he truly loves them, his feelings for them has always been neutral. And even if he loves them, it's just by default. Because they are his parents who brought him to life, which isn't really a big favor. But not because he's deeply attached to them and loved growing up with them. They've always treated him like a future project, a product for profit. 

What will happen when Yuuri himself dies? Will someone weep his death and lives in his memory? His family will probably be affected by the loss of an important member of their business institution, maybe get a little sad for his departure. Then move on to his will and possessions. He doesn't have any friends that will feel the grief, maybe Phichit will cry at his funeral if he's too lucky. 

What will Victor do if Yuuri dies? Could he be the only one who will truly cry him with deep grief? Will he be the only one who will hold on to the memory of him?

"Mr Yuuri! Are you listening?" Yuri shakes him lightly to wake him up from the deep sea of thoughts he has suddenly drowned in. 

Yuuri blinks few times at Yuri and Phichit's concerned face. He feels so hollow. "If I die, will you guys be sad for me?"

Phichit and Yuri exchange looks, and Yuuri can hear their minds accusing him of insanity. He mentally slaps himself for his stupid question and leaves the whole thing at the back of his mind. 

"Never mind I'm just hallucinating. I'm going home now to change. Yuri you can do home, and Phichit.. drive me cause I don't feel like driving tonight."

******

At the car Yuuri tries to distract his mind from drifting to dark thoughts he doesn't really need to have one hour prior to an important meeting. But since when has his anxiety ever been considerate about his circumstances? It just kicks in refusing to bend to his rules or have some mercy on him. Yuuri has done great job over the years to tame it and not let it affect his life. But lately his anxiety has become too rebellious, uncontrollable. Unless of course he takes his regular anxiolytic medication, which he manged to live without for a good period. But not anymore. 

Phichit is doing his great job of being a total big mouth with many entertaining stories about everyone in Yuuri's world. He just keeps talking and talking even though Yuuri can't understand him clearly, like it's a senseless noise. But it's a pleasant senseless noise to Yuuri, and he appreciates Phichit's company. Until Phichit gets a hint of Yuuri's lost attention, so he retreats to his interactive tactics. 

"Okay okay but have you considered this..Yuri and Otabek?"

"What about them?"

"They are.. you know.." Phichit winks to him suggestively. And Yuuri's eyes bugs in astonishment. 

"They are in a relationship?" 

"Not exactly. But they totally should! You know they have that awful painful subtle crush on each other but they never talk about it or even hint! It's so frustrating, especially for me. Like I know they're pining for each other for years now, their skinny love is so obvious and they never get a grip and try to work it out." 

"Yuri and Otabek? I've never noticed anything like that. Am I that blind?" Yuuri isn't honestly the type to gossip or prey on other people's personal life. But the possibility of two of his most loyal employees getting together fills his heart with vague warmness. After all, Yuri and Otabek are aware of many details in Yuuri's life, which makes them familiar and close to him. 

"No Mr Yuuri, you're just too focused on your work. But me... I'm an observant and an explorer. Watching people is my hobby, no more.. It's basically my job to look around me and check the tiniest detail of my surroundings."

"But are you sure if that or you're just milking your spicy wild imagination to entertain your pathetic life Mr observant? As much as you're observant you're also imaginative."

"What? Of course I'm sure Mr Yuuri. How can you accuse me of making things up?! You know I own special abilities and skills. I have sensory antennae that are too sensitive to detect the smallest of signs. And Yuri and Otabek's signs aren't small. In fact, the unresolved sexual tension between them makes it unbearable to stay at the same room as them."

Yuuri pauses, trying to process the information and collect the pieces together. He recalls Yuri and Otabek's interactions at his presence, but he never noticed anything suspicious about them. They're the most professional employees Yuuri deals with. They're often expressionless with a masterful ability to act like they're part of the wall. Except for some times when Yuri's short tempered nature gets out of his hand.

They're very good at hiding their personal emotions. In fact, their personalities are very different yet very complimentary. They also have some similarities, and they get along just fine. So having feelings for each other is very likely and reasonable. The question here is if they have mutual affections then why aren't they together yet? 

"Even Mr Victor shares my opinion. We talked briefly about this before. Mr Victor said he shipped them so bad and he thought they're too cute together." Phichit chuckles lightly recalling his words. And it makes Yuuri smile, Victor is just so pure and precious. 

"You shouldn't talk about other people's lives you know. It's non of your business. Do you discuss the love life of your colleagues with anyone like this?" Yuuri manages to sound stern. He has never thought or cared about what Phichit thought of his relationship with Victor, but he feels a sudden surge of doubt hit him. Does Phichit gossip about his relationship with Victor with other people? 

"Of course not! The whole conversation was started by Mr Victor himself, and I shared his opinions so we naturally talked about it. I'm just telling you cause you might care Mr Yuuri. Don't worry about my mouth, I'm not that mannerless!" It's like Phichit heard his thoughts and he's trying to reassure him. But isn't this why Phichit is Yuuri's favorite? He can practically read his mind. 

"Why would I care anyway? It's their life and they're free to live it as they want. I have no say at that."

"Yes but have you thought that you might be the reason why they're still hesitant and conflicted about their feelings?'

"Me? What do you mean? I've never interfered in their lives."

"That's true but they still work together under you. And you might, you know, have a particular policy on having personal relationship at work. You may thing it will cause stagnation and distraction which may affect the work."

"How can you make assumptions about me Phichit? As long as their personal life doesn't affect the work I wouldn't mind."

"I'm just telling you what they might be thinking, that this may be the only obstacle that hindering the progress of their relationship. That's why I'm telling you, because you gotta give them the impression you don't mind them getting together."

Yuuri chuckles sarcastically, almost in disbelief. "Wow you really thought about everything as if it's all facts. Phichit you're still basing all this on your own assumptions and point of view without even making sure they're having feelings for each other."

"No no of course I'm talking just in case. You know a little encouragement from you won't hurt Mr Yuuri. Then who knows they might be able to finally communicate about their feelings for each other. Communication is the key. You have no idea how hard I smash my head to the wall when I see a couple with unresolved issues that could simply be solved by talking. Talk for heaven's sake, just talk!" Phichit shouts the last words as emphasis, clenching the steering wheel and looking like he's about to rupture an aneurysm.

And Yuuri isn't an idiot, because he can catch Phichit's reference too damn well. Communicate, talk, just talk. Isn't this the story of his love life? 

"Sometimes it isn't that easy to talk your feelings out, you have to know that things can be more complicated than you can imagine." Yuuri mumbles bitterly, unsure if he's telling this to Phichit or to himself. 

"Things won't magically resolve though if you ignore them. You've got to face your problems not escape them Mr Yuuri. You're wise and farsighted and you know that."

"Are you telling me this Phichit?" Yuuri snorts. Sometimes Phichit crosses his boundaries mindlessly, forgetting his original role and getting too immersed in the friend role. It doesn't make Yuuri mad at all, which is weird. 

"What?" Phichit laughs awkwardly, and gulps nervously as he takes a turn. "Of course not. I'm just saying."

Yuuri nods and looks over the window, hearing Phichit clearing his throat. He knows this sign, Phichit won't rest until he spits what's stuck in his throat.

"Which reminds me by the way, of you ignoring miss Mari's calls. This won't solve anything."

Ah, so that's what it is. "Yes but I'm not ready to lose more brain cells arguing with her. I'm not in a good mood theses days." But Mari is the source of his bad mood, she's actually the major reason for his stress.

"Okay but as I recall she hasn't called for more than twenty four hours."

Yuuri smirks. "Which is good."

"No it's definitely not. According to the Mari Katsuki standards it indicates an upcoming disaster. I won't even be surprised if she's on a plane coming to NY! That's so like her."

Yuuri gives out a small laugh. "You're overreacting Phichit. Mari isn't free to just drop everthing and travel across half the world to convince me to get married to miss Sophia Grant, which won't happen no matter what."

"Oh she could, she certainly could Mr Yuuri. You don't know her like I do!"

"Phichit what's wrong with you? She's my sister not yours. Of course I know her." Yuuri giggles, shaking his head. He's so used to Phichit's drama, especially when it comes to Mari. 

"She has super powers sir. She can exist in two different places at the same time. God she scares the shit out of me! Don't you feel the same Mr Yuuri? In fact your entire family is so intimidating and scary. I have no idea how you endured growing up with them. You're so different from that Mr Yuuri. You're too cute to belong to this family. Even when you're serious or angry, you're still cute and harmless."

Yuuri howls out the laughter, almost tearing his eyes from the intensity of the laughter. "Phichit.. Ah.. You'll kill me!" He hardly mumbles the words, still cackling frantically. It encourages Phichit to go further.

"I'm serious. You must be adopted. You can't be their son. Too cute..too soft for them."

Yuuri adjusts in his seat, wiping the tears away. "You must be the only one in the world who finds me cute and harmless cause you know I have a reputation of being stone cold ice prince."

"Because no one knows you like I do. And I'm not the only one we go thinks so. I'm sure Mr Victor agrees with me."

Yuuri automatically smiles at the mention of his lover's name, and turns away shyly. Purer than the sky larger than the world blue eyes come to his vision. His pulse quickens just at the thought of him, how does Victor have this magical effect on him?

Phichit squeals in exhilaration, sounding too disturbing to Yuuri. "Oh my god look how you blushed and smiled cutely when I mentioned Mr Victor. So adorable!"

"Phichit shut up! Have you forgotten I'm your boss? God you gave me such a head splitting headache and I still have a long night ahead of me." Yuuri tries to suppress his laughter. He's thankful they're finally inside the garage. He can't wait to get a quick shower and have a Phichitless moment for himself.

But they notice a figure standing near the spot where they park the car. Yuuri moves his head trying to recognize the standing person few meters away from him, until Phichit gasps. 

"Oh my god I must be horror hallucinating. Is it my sick imagination or am I seeing your sister Mr Yuuri?"

Mari!

In a moment Yuuri is out of the car standing face to face to a deadpan Mari. Her face is dark and intense, calm but is still promising of the hell and its fury. 

"Sister, what a pleasant surprise!" Yuuri struggles to suppress the sarcasm in his voice, while Mari crosses her arms, unimpressed. His Japanese feels strange and heavy on his tongue. He barely uses this language now unless it's for work or his family, so it's now associated with unpleasant feelings for him.

"Glad you're still alive." She says harshly, in a calm for angry voice. "So can you explain to me why aren't you answering any of my calls or messages and avoiding me like the plague?"

"So you can fly fourteen hours across the ocean and I get to see your lovely face." Yuuri pokes her cheek, knowing how this gesture provokes her. Then he exchanges a look with Phichit who's still in the driving seat, and Phichit gives him the I-told-you-so look. Phichit gets out of the car to greet Mari with shaky hands and broken Japanese. And she doesn't even bother to reply. Cold! Now Yuuri understand exactly Phichit's opinions on his sister.

"As much as I'm happy to see you, I really can't stay for too long now. I have an important meeting in an hour, so isn't it better to go back to your hotel and have a nice rest till tomorrow?" You can't escape death though. That's what written on her face.

"I don't have time either, I barely squeezed few days to waste on you and every moment is precious!" 

Yuuri sighs and massages his temple in exhaustion. There's no escape now. Maybe he should just let it happen so he can be done. It's more painful to anticipate death than dying. 

"Phichit you wait at the car and I'll take Mari up to see what she wants."Yuuri orders him in English. Then he gestures like a gentleman towards the elevator. And the ride at the elevator to his penthouse is the most intense experience he's lived. It's like time has frozen, barely moving on. The elevator moves up too slowly. And the air is electrically charged, filled with silence louder than screaming. 

Yuuri is thankful that Victor is having a night out with Chris. At least no unnecessary clashes will happen tonight. He can handle that, clashing with Mari himself. But involving Victor in this is an end game. And Victor these days can't really cope with stress too well. Since when has things got this bad? 

It makes Yuuri guilty. Seeing Victor often anxious and gloomy, even if he's trying hard to hide it. It's easy to recognize the weight on his shoulders he's been carrying for a while now. Apparently everything is taking its toll on both of them. What happened to carefree happy Victor and calm collected Yuuri? What's driving them every day closer to the edge of insanity?

When they arrive Yuuri heads straight to his bedroom telling her to wait at least for five minutes while he changes his suit. Yuuri needs these five minutes to get a grip and quickly decide how he'll deal with this. He wishes he won't find her at the reception area when he goes out. But he's hit with the reality as he steps out of his bedroom tying his necktie, and smells the obnoxious cigarette smoke polluting the air.

Mari is on the sofa crossing legs and smoking impatiently. Yuuri tries to stall for a little by asking her what to drink.

"I'm not here to drink anything. Just sit down and listen to me." She orders him with her best dominating voice. 

Yuuri glimpses at his watch as he settles on one of the chairs. "I'll listen but my time is really limited, so please be quick.."

Mari takes a long dramatic drag from her cigarette. She leans backwards trying to appear relaxed and casual. "Yuuri you're almost thirty. And I think it's time for you to get married and settle down." She states with a very clear English out of the blue. They only talk in Japanese with each other, this came surprising to Yuuri. 

"Why are you suddenly talking in English?" He asks in Japanese.

But it seems she's not going to switch back from English as she answers, "For a change. Or maybe I'm trying to convey a message to a certain person." She shrugs with the slyest look on her face. So she knows.

"What person? No one is here but both of us. You can search the place if you want." He's still speaking in Japanese, trying to appear natural and calm. 

She stands on her feet and slowly pace the room like she's thinking. "Are you sure of that?" Still in English 

He cocks his face to the side. "I'm sure there's no one else here with us right now. I told you to search if you don't believe me."

"Where's he?" The question takes him off guard. "Your pretty model I mean." She elaborates. Yuuri hopes his heart isn't beating too loud. Should be keep denying or fuck it all and says the truth? 

"You really think you're being secretive and low profile? You're an idiot if you think so Yuuri. Your scandals and romantic escapades with him reach me in Tokyo." Her tone is beginning to sound threatening. "Do you have any idea how hard I work to keep your parents in the dark from your shameful affair?" 

Yuuri bites his tongue from snapping at her. He finds himself incapable of defending himself or defending Victor. Coward.

"I have no idea what happened to you Yuuri. You used to be so wise and mature, how could you be this reckless? Do you have any idea how this will ruin your reputation? I don't know what's wrong with but we need to fix this."

Yuuri takes a deep breathe. It's not too hard. "I don't give a fuck." He simply replies, in a perfect clear English. And it feels so good to believe what you say. Because at this moment specifically Yuuri doesn't give a fuck.

Yuuri can see the effect of his statement on Mari. She is surprised, flustered, and disturbed. "What..what do you mean you don't give a fuck? This isn't just about you, it's about all of us, our hard work, our life achievements. Since when have you become so selfish and self destructive? Even if you're being selfish. This isn't good for you."

"Who cares about my dating life? Why would my job be affected by my personal relationships? I'm free to do what I want and be with whom I like."

"Because it isn't just a job. A businessman has nothing but his image and reputation. How can people trust you with the money and possessions if you act like a teenager chasing around a playboy? Do you expect to be taken seriously if you're associated with.."

"Mari you're crossing the line! I refuse to get scolded like a child by you, I'm a responsible adult and I make my own decisions and choices. No one can control my life or tell me how to live."

"I don't have time for that adolescent rebel role you're playing right now. You're going to do what's best for you. I've arranged you a date with a great woman so you could meet and talk. She's approved by everyone and she's the right one to hold the Katsuki name, so I expect her to be your bride soon."

Yuuri rolls his eyes. "I'm gay Mari and I have to go now. Go back to Tokyo. Bye!"

He turns his back to her heading to the door, pleasant by the sound of her fuming. 

"You're getting married to this woman Yuuri. Be sure about that! And you'll be the one who will ask for it after getting dumped by your pretty bitch." 

Yuuri leaves her howling by herself, a smirk on his face. Her words did nothing more to him more than motivating him more to work hard to keep his relationship with Victor. It has become more of a challenge now. Keep Victor by his side and not giving Mari the satisfaction of them breaking up. He needs to enhance his attachment with Victor. He needs to strengthen their relationship. To establish it first.

Maybe he's ready to lose everything for Victor. Maybe he's tired of this kind of life. He'd tired of being miserable. And it's clear his happiness belongs with Victor. Maybe he should just come out with his relationship with Victor and Fuck everything else. He used to think doubts and fears and anxiety stem from different things, but no. It's all coming from one place. From his insecurity about his relationship with Victor. 

He honestly doesn't care if it's going to ruin his career, his relationship with his family, his image and reputation. He doesn't need to think about the consequences he will meet if he announces to the entire world that he's madly and irrevocably in love with the most gorgeous human in the world Victor Nikiforov. 

And he's sure about Victor's feelings to him. It's all written in his face and sung in his voice. It's what making them both insane right now, their inability to confess their feelings to each other. Talk, they just need to talk, to communicate. Enough of this skinny love disguised under a cover of a physical and material relationship. They both know it's not just this. Victor isn't in just for Yuuri's money. And Yuuri can be loved. 

Victor will cry when Yuuri dies. He will be the only one. And Yuuri can't let go of the only person who will cry his death.

Yuuri must tell Victor he loves him, and to hell everything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed
> 
> Tell me your theories and expectations   
> What will happen next? Will Yuuri finally confess to Victor? What will he do with his family and career? Are things getting exciting?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy

Yuuri and Phichit spend a little more time at the restaurant after the meeting is over and the new partners has left. Yuuri made an excuse of an extra glass of wine in celebration of the new deal. But in fact Yuuri has an urge to tell Phichit about everything, his feelings for Victor, his will to tell the world that he loves him, everything. And Yuuri has always wanted to vent it out for a long time, but he was never bold enough to admit his feelings. 

He's very private, he never talks his feelings out due to his incapable nature, his inability to express his emotions and feelings. He's been holding it all inside himself that it began to consume him. It's not like he has anyone to talk about his feelings with anyway. So he needs to let it all out, for too many reasons. His determination to come out with his love. A practice to admit his feelings to Victor truly. A practice to confront everyone involved of his life. A practice to finally express himself in spoken words.

And who's better than Phichit to listen to Yuuri with understanding and interest? Who's better to supply him with the strength and courage to express himself and explain the complications of his love life to? Also Phichit is so witty, he won't even let him finish his sentence cause he'll it understand immediately. He's an observant after all. 

How should Yuuri start the subject? What should he say first? Explain to him his fascination with Victor from the very first moment he saw him, stalking him obsessively, setting him up to be with him, falling for him harder and harder with each passing day? Phichit was actually involved in all these stages. He's witnessed the first moment they've seen each other. He gathered enough information about Victor and tracked him for Yuuri. He basically knows everything. 

"Phichit, I'm in love with Victor." Yuuri says experimentally, after a long moment of silence. 

Phichit, who was half way through his glass, looks at him with curious eyes. He slowly nods as if he's beginning to understand. "Yes I know." He replies confidently. It makes Yuuri frown a little bit. Yes he expected Phichit to already know that but it's still weird.

"You know that?" Yuuri wonders. 

"I think anyone close to you knows that. It's all written on your face, in your looks to him. I'm not surprised. I used to think that the nature of your relationship was intimate and materialistic mutualism, but being around you both it was so obvious that it's much more than that. It was just a matter of time until you come in term with your feelings." 

"Oh you made it much easier. I've never said that to anyone before." 

"Well I'm proud to be the first one to hear that Mr Yuuri. But I think there's a certain one who needs to hear that more than anyone else in the world." 

Yuuri's lips quirk up in a small smile. He loves Phichit so much. "Yes! I'm gonna tell him, I'm gonna tell Victor how much I love him." Yuuri's voice becomes unnecessarily loud, too excited for his plan.

And Phichit claps his hands lazily, a bright smile in his face. "Yes yes Mr Yuuri.. tell him. Scream it to him. He deserves to."

"Phichit you're awesome!" Yuuri exclaims joyfully before emptying the rest if the glass content into his mouth at once. 

"You really needed miss Mari to give you the final push. But thank god it finally happened. Imagine my pain and frustration waiting for this moment."

"Hold on..hold on. Your frustration? Why do you even care?" 

"Because of course I care. I'm deeply invested in your relationship with Mr Victor. There's really no explanation for this but it just is. I root for you together."

Yuuri remains silent for a moment. He's not Yuuri unless some dark thoughts crawl inside his mind from his anxiety. 

"Do you think..he feels the same about me?" Yuuri asks in doubt, hopeful to hear a confirmation from Phichit as if he's more knowledgeable than he is. But maybe because Yuuri trusts his judgement, or maybe he's too desperate to hear any validation. 

"Of course he does." Phichit's easy answer comes as an analgesic to Yuuri's growing pain. "It's so obvious how much he's pining for you. That's why you need to talk to each other, to debunk all the doubts and admit your feelings. Playing around each other causes nothing but harm and anxiety. I'm no relationship expert but it doesn't take a genius to know that communication is important."

Yuuri nods understandingly. Every word from Phichit hits all the right places. All this struggle could've been saved if he simply asked. Yuuri deluded himself that he wasn't sure of his feelings towards Victor, filled with insecurities and uncertainty. But it wasn't true, he's been hooked to Victor from day one. The thing he really wasn't sure of is Victor's feelings to him. And instead of confronting him and asking him directly Yuuri kept inventing doubts in his own feelings in spite of falling for Victor from the first sight.

"Yes. Yes you are right. I will tell Victor I love him!" He says, determined. 

"Hell yeah you do!"

"I should ask him about how he truly feels about me!"

"Yeah talk it boys!"

"And we'll get together officially as lovers and boyfriends!"

"Get it boys you worth it!"

"And I'll tell the world that I'm in love with him and I don't care about anything else!"

"Yessss long live love!"

"And fuck everyone who doesn't approve. Mari can choke in fury!"

"Yeah.. Woah hold on sir." Phichit's encouraging chants turn into pure horror when he realize what Yuuri had just said.

"W..what? What is it? That was too rude, right?" Okay maybe he got too caught in. 

"Sir, did I understand this right? You're going to tell everyone about your relationship with Mr Victor?" 

"Yes. Isn't this the point of me coming out with my love?" 

Phichit takes a big gulp of water, then shakes his head in disapproval. "No. The point is to tell Mr Victor only, not the whole world. This is not wise Mr Yuuri and you should be aware of that. I'm surprised you're actually considering a reckless thing like this."

Actually Yuuri just realized that he didn't think this thoroughly. Phichit can be right. But the point of this revelation right now is to stop Mari from trying to set him up in a business marriage, and he knows how persistent she could be. 

"All these heroic fantasies of fighting for love and you and and me against the world are really nice. But that's not something you can just do. The following consequences of announcing your relationship with Mr Victor will really be huge, I'm sure of that. It's not the right decision or the right time." Phichit adds trying to act like the voice of reason to Yuuri's passion clouded mind. 

Maybe he didn't think this too well, but he knows that the only thing that matter to him is Victor. And Victor will appreciate it if Yuuri goes public with him. He has expressed before how the secrecy of their relationship is affecting him negatively. It's not fair for Victor to be treated as a dirty secret that should remain hidden. Not anymore. 

Phichit being the quick witted he is notices the conflict on his boss' face. He adapts his own face to a more sympathetic expression. "You do realize that this can really be damaging to your career or even your relationship with your family who are quite reserved and traditional. Mr Yuuri, there's a probability that you'll lose everything. Are you ready for that? Maybe you should ask yourself this question."

Yuuri remains silent, staring at nothing and raising concerns inside Phichit who's right. It may be a spontaneous decision, but Yuuri is one hundred percent commited to Victor and loving him openly and proudly. Victor deserves to be loved like this. However Yuuri is sick in the head, he's anxious.. unsure. Is he selfish? But he really doesn't care that he would throw away everything else for Victor. 

"I'm ready." He answers, firmly and surely. 

And Phichit spend like he's about to facepalm in despair. It makes Yuuri laugh a little. 

"Worried about losing your job?" He asks him teasingly. 

"Rather worried about you and Mr Victor." His answer is sincere, tone full with genuine concern. This moves Yuuri heart a little.

"I can't explain it to you Phichit. But I'm really at a point where I don't give a damn about anything else." Yuuri speaks softly, a lover speaking.

"I understand Mr Yuuri, I totally do. What I mean is.. that's not what you're supposed to do right now. You can't tell him the truth about your feelings then shout it to the rest of the world. That's not how it works. Cause no matter how much time you've already spent together, your relationship will still be new and fragile. You need to work on it first before taking a huge step like announcing it to people who will most probably resent it."

"Oh, I haven't thought about that."

"I know, that's why I'm asking you not to rush. Not before establishing a healthy communicative relationship, because later you'll meet a massive backlash. And you need to be united and strong enough to face all the upcoming hardships. They will attempt to separate you from each other, they'll try to make you fail because you're going against their will. Then you'll both feel burdened and weak and guilty. Like you're destroying each other's lives. Don't you think so?"

Yuuri attempts to reply. He can't being himself to say the words. It's all too much for him to proceed. Just thinking about it, expecting the scenarios, predicting the consequences.. it's all too much for his head that he's starting to feel giddy.

"You know, I think I'll go out to breath some fresh air. You pay the check or something."

He doesn't wait for a reply from Phichit and just leaves taking too wide steps outside of the restaurant. He keeps breathing deeply, filling his lungs with the clean night air that might cool his burning chest. However, with every steps he takes, he gets a paranoid feeling about being followed or watched. It's not the first time to be honest to have this feeling. It's usual for him to have the feeling of being intensely watched.

Yuuri stops his tracks. He looks over his shoulder to confirm his suspicion. The street is too calm and empty as the usual in this upper residence of the city. He turns his head around until he finally finds a shadow of a person near him but it's too dark to notice him. He panics a little, is he getting robbed or something worse? 

Something worse. 

That's what he realizes when his back hits the nearby wall after being pushed violently. He loses his glasses on the ground at the sudden push, and in the dark he's blind as a bat. He goes through a momentary shock to being pinned against the wall. But he wakes up next to a pair of warm lips crashing into his, kissing passionately like there's no tomorrow. And Yuuri can never mistake the taste of this kiss.

Yuuri surrenders to the kiss weakly, biting a little into the lip of his attacker and earning a musical moan. As the strong grip pinning his hand lets go of his wrest, he moves it to his kisser's head, interlacing his fingers inbetween the long strands of silk hair. 

And after a good minute they separate and Yuuri hears that precious giggle. He wants to be mad, to be panicked and flustered after what happened, but he couldn't help but giggle back, shaking his head. The dim light coming from a far source showers the giggling man, revealing his features. Pale and glowing surrounded by a halo, Victor resembles an angel. Metaphorically cause Yuuri can barely recognize him without his glasses. 

"I scared you, right?" Victor asks adorably, too proud of himself. 

"You blinded me. Where are my glasses?" Yuuri tries appear mad at him. He fails miserably when he keeps laughing.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" Victor, freaking out, gets on four searching in the ground for Yuuri's dropped glasses. Until he exclaims in joy, "I found them Yuuri. I found your ugly ass glasses." 

Yuuri takes them from him, chucking, "My glasses aren't ugly." Yuuri places them, blinking away his blurring vision until he catches something wrong and sighs. "There's a crack in a lens. Happy?" 

"Good, let's replace your glasses then with cuter ones. But you're always cute Yuuri. So cute." Victor giggles again as he leans forwards, cupping Yuuri's face with delight. His movements are a little uncoordinated, and his breathing smells of alcohol, which Yuuri noticed when he first kissed him.

"Victor are you drunk?" Yuuri frowns, asking sharply. 

"Just a little tipsy." He giggles again. But looking closer into his face, Yuuri noticed traces of crying in his eyes. Victor is absolutely abnormal and it scares the hell out of Yuuri. He needs to organise his thoughts and figure out what's Victor doing here and how he knew about Yuuri place and what's wrong with him. 

Yuuri holds his shoulders to support him when he begins to lean away and lose his balance. "How did you know my place?" 

Victor blinks few times. Then smiles fondly a plants a sloppy kiss on Yuuri's cheek. "I asked Phichit, sent him a text and he told me. Came here to kidnap you. I was waiting in the car cause I missed you so bad, and I saw you go out. I chased you to kidnap you Yuuri. Yuuri someone could have kidnapped you. Don't walk on dark streets like these Yuuri, they'll kidnap you. Only I is.. Am? What's in English? Only I allowed to kidnap you." 

Yuuri kisses his adorable nose and holds his hands to start walking him. "Alright I won't let's get you home. Otabek is waiting in the car?"

"I sent him home. I drove here on my own." 

"What?" Yuuri shouts in anger. "You drove like this? Victor never drive while you're drunk. God you're a mess! Come on.."

************

"Where are we going Yuuri?" Victor whines grumpily as he sinks further into his seat. An ugly frown disfiguring his beautiful features. Yuuri turns his head away from the road ahead of him, looking at his distraught lover in concern. He catches a hint of tears held captive in his eye, reflecting the light to illuminate its sadness. He's holding back his tears and Yuuri doesn't even know what's wrong. 

"We are going home baby boy." Yuuri gives him an assuring smile and looks back at the road. His hand sneaks to rub Victor's thigh in a comforting manner. "We are going to take a long warm bath to relax. Then I'll give you a nice massage because you look tense. I'll feed you chocolate as you wanted and I'll brush your beautiful hair. Then I'll do sweetly make love to you and we'll cuddle and sleep till the morning. You like that baby boy?"

"I don't wanna go home. This is so boring!" Victor whines childishly. It seems more like a distracting strategy to divert Yuuri's attention from his obvious gloom. Victor claps his hands in fake enthusiasm and exclaims, "Let's go clubbing Yuuuuri!"

Yuuri coughs a tired laugh. "Clubbing? Now Vitya? It's been a long day and we both need to rest. Let's make it for another night, okay?"

"Noooo!" Victor pouts exaggeratingly, and clings with his whole body to Yuuri's arm, paralyzing him from moving the steering wheel. "Yuuri I don't want to go home please. Let's go out please please! I'm feeling like.. you know like that boring song of yours." 

Yuuri tries to break free from his tight hold, laughing. "What song?"

"You know that song by that emo eighties band, the one where they were singing.." Victor focuses to recall the lyrics, then he starts singing, "Take me out tonight.. Where's music and there is people and na na na.. Driving in your car, I never never want to go home.. Because I haven't got one anymore.. na na.. And if a double decker bus cruashes into us.. To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.. And if a ten ton truck.. Kills the both of us.. To die by your side, well the pleasure.. the privilege is mine... "

Yuuri struggles to keep eyes on the road and hands on the wheel. He just needs to stare at his lover endlessly and takes him in his arms in the tightest embrace, pressing him to his chest so Victor can hear his own name screamed with love by Yuuri's heart. It's impossible to miss the sorrow suffocating Victor's singing voice. And the song lyrics hit so hard, reflecting the deep sadness and longing inside Victor. 

He takes his hand and kisses it so gently and dearly. Victor squeals in a fake cheerfulness. "Oh Yuuri, it's heavenly to die by your side!"

"It's better to live by my side." He mumbles slowly.

"I never rode an double decker bus. I want to Yuuri! I want to ride this bus. Where is this bus?" Victor moves that quickly to another topic, still faking enthusiasm. 

Yuuri wasn't expecting such a question. He shrugs, still trying to focus on the road. "London?"

"Oh oh London!" He jumps to wrap his arms around Yuuri, causing him a slight shake. "I want to go to London and ride the double decker bus with you. Oh oh and there also that huge ass Ferris wheel in London.. What's it called? Umm.."

"London eye?" Yuuri answers for him grinning fondly while picturing a trip to London with him. Sometimes Yuuri took Victor with him in business trips abroad where they may sneak few days of vacation with no watchful eyes. Days like these were the best because Yuuri could act freely around Victor with no restrictions or the fear of being recognized.

"Yessss! London eye, we ride London eye together and we do a lot of bad.. hot things in the air.." He snorts joyfully, while teasing Yuuri's ear with his fine fingers. "Like that one time at the fun park.. Remember?" He whispers straight in Yuuri's ear sending shivers down his spine. 

"How can I forget?" Yuuri looks at him and gives ugh a sly wink, making Victor giggle sweetly and Yuuri can't help but giggle back.

Victor rests his head on his shoulder. "To die by your side is such heavenly way to die.." He sings again so softly that it melts Yuuri's heart. 

Then he plants a chaste kiss on his cheek. "Clubbing?" Yuuri inquires. 

"Clubbing." And Victor answers.

**********

There's nothing Yuuri wants more right now than leave this hell and go home to fall asleep like a dead. But Victor is having a good time and he finally seems out of his depressed state. And who's Yuuri to stop him? The most important thing is for Victor to enjoy. But he's being reckless and rebellious, it worries Yuuri a little bit. He's hanging on the edge of his seat practically waiting for any disaster Victor's drunken shenanigans will lead to. 

It started by Victor refusing they take a private VIP booth for them, and instead they took a regular table among all the club frequents. But let Yuuri give it to him this night, it's not like many will expose him anyway at the club. He can be a little less careful. Anyway, Victor has been drinking and dancing and dragging Yuuri along, which he has to admit he's enjoying. It's been too long since they had such liberated night like this.

But Victor always a unstoppable, and Yuuri can't simply stop him from giving him the most sensual lap dance right now, in public, with people around. Luckily the clubbers aren't not in a better state than him, so no big need to worry. It's totally fine if Victor insists on giving hickeys and sloppy open mouthed kisses all along Yuuri's neck and face. What's wrong if Victor finds the air a bit hard and he's trying to get rid of his clothes? No big deal. 

Victor screams one loud "woah" in response to the beat drop (if Yuuri ever understands what this means) and he keeps pounding up and down Yuuri's lap. The poor guy was is just a man and can't help but feeling aroused. It's uncomfortable to remain like this, so Yuuri just firmly holds Victor by the waist, steadying him in place. Armed with the patience of the saints, he shifts Victor a little away from his aching crotch. He's lucky Victor is too out of it, because if he was aware of Yuuri's hardness, he wouldn't hesitate to keep rocking on his erection until he comes in his pants. 

After a long passionate kiss by Victor, he pulls away with a face of bliss and cheers loudly. He's fully facing Yuuri, wrapping both his arms around his neck intimately, and stares at him with heart eyes. It's so ethereal and pure, regardless of his sinister position in his lap and devilish acts. It's so precious, reminding him of the night they first met. So alike, and Victor is still breathtaking, mind stealing, mesmerizing and magical. It makes Yuuri kiss his forehead with fondness, and Victor responds to him with an equally fond hug. 

"I want people to know Yuuri is hugging Victor. Kissing Victor. With Victor." Victor mumbles not so clearly, but Yuuri understands. 

He cradles his face tenderly, hoping his touch will answer his lover's wish. If only Victor knows! He will. He will know how much Yuuri loves him and cherishes him, and he wants it to be known to the whole world. He wants to give his all to him with no holding back. But Yuuri is just waiting for the right moment at the right place. Of course not when Victor is drunkenly half naked dancing on his hard on. Just at the right moment. 

"Ah I'm so miserable." Victor says so suddenly with a hopeless groan, making Yuuri's year twist in his chest with agony and pain. He gets off Yuuri and moves away to his seat. Yuuri suddenly feels like freezing, like he's lying naked in the arctic with no shelter or cover to warm him, with the sun forever gone and replaced by the cold darkness. It's painful to the bones, lonely and cruel. 

Then a brutal idea crosses Yuuri's mind. What if Mari contacted Victor and managed to reach him? Yuuri freaks out because it's very possible. She could easily fuck with Victor's mind and manipulate him into believing that Yuuri doesn't have serious feelings for him and he's just using him for his pleasure. She would degrade and humiliate Victor making him feel he's not worthy.

"Baby, you still won't tell me what's wrong? Please I'm begging you. Tell me what's bothering you? Has anybody told you anything? Did anyone try to hurt you? Victor please trust me and believe that I would do anything for you..anything!" Yuuri holds his hand lovingly, giving him the most desperate look.

And Victor just looks exhausted. He sighs as his shoulders droop, and shakes his head. 

"Today has been one of the worst days in my life. It sucks.. It just sucks." Tears start to roll down his face, clike a punch in Yuuri's guts. "I'm a loser! A failure. It took me much time to accept it, I kept living in denial and tricking myself that it's just something transient. But it's not. I'm not finishing the course, because I can't learn shit. I'm poor and useless, I have no imagination nor creativity. Turns out I can't even assemble an outfit together in coordination! I'm tasteless."

Yuuri tries to take him in his embrace but Victor pushes him away as he sniffles and whimpers in despair. Yuuri can't let go of him, he keeps holding his hand, squeezing it tightly that it becomes painful. With his other hand he traces down the hot tears, chasing them away from Victor's brilliant eyes. 

"Months.. Months of hard work go in waste. I kept resisting failure but instead I made myself a joke. I'm their joke at the class. They laugh and laugh at the dumb blond who isn't even worthy of wearing their "genius" pieces." The blood boils in Yuuri's veins like a lava leaking from an erupting volcano. He wants to behead every single one made Victor feel bad about himself.

"Oh Victor why don't you go back to the runway instead of wasting your time here? Oh Victor you suck as a designer, but you're too pretty that I will make you one day walk for my brand." He imitates the mocking voices with much bitterness and grudge. "I hate fucking fashion."

"Baby.." Yuuri starts, still unsure if what say and how to continue. Words! Words were never his thing, his mind can't function well to translate his thoughts and feelings into words that could help. Pathetic. "It's not the end if the world baby. You are still amazing. You're so good..so good. One thing you failed at doesn't define you and your abilities. You're good at other things, I'm sure."

"At what?" Victor snaps."At looking so deliciously fuckable? That's the only thing I'm good at? Well good for you only."

It comes like a slap on Yuuri's face. This is how victor thinks he views him. And it's all Yuuri's fault. He has spent will his time with Victor glorying his beauty and worshipping his body, neglecting his other aspects. 

"It's never like this to me." Yuuri defends himself, voice too small and ashamed. But Victor gives him a non-forgiving look. It kills him.

"It is like this to me, and it makes me feel disgusting and disgusted." 

How? How can Yuuri change his mind? 

"Victor I love you!" Yuri doesn't know with what voice he's saying this, whose words are these, but it feels so damn right. It feels so good to admit out loud. It's like a lifetime underground dungeon prisoner seeing the sun for the first time with chainless hands and feet. Free. 

But Victor's response isn't what Yuuri hoping for, in the most obscure description. In explicit explanation, it makes Victor rather angry, to hear these words from Yuuri. Yuuri watches carefully a chain of reactions on Victor's face. First surprise, disbelief, the sadness, and finally rage. 

"Fuck you for thinking this is how to console me." Victor spits through gritted teeth with red face and eyes of flames. He violently pushes Yuuri back by the shoulders, causing Yuuri to lose his balance. Then he gets in his feet. Ready to leave. 

"No Victor please!" Yuuri desperately clings to his arm with both hands, refusing to let him go. "Please listen to me."

"Yuuri I don't need you to tell me you love me out of sympathy." He sits down again, facing Yuuri and holding him. A mix of hurt and determination in his eyes. "I must earn your love out of respect and admiration. I want to hear you love me because I'm worthy of your love, because I'm good enough." 

Okay, Yuuri wasn't expecting that kind of revelation at all. He seems sober now, like he didn't have a drop of alcohol. But Yuuri knows he's still drunk, and this night will vanish from his mind forever. However, alcohol speaks the truth.

"I constantly feel horrible.. Awful, because of you."

"Victor.. I never.." Yuuri doesn't finish because Victor is fast to press his fingers against his lips to hush him. 

"It's not something you do or say, you've never ever been anything but amazing to me. But you made me realize how much I really worth, and it's not much Yuuri. You're seeing me with your generous eyes..but I really am nothing. That's why I'm trying hard to earn you. I will never say the three words that define my entire existence now, because I know how precious these words and I wouldn't mouth them without truly being worthy of them and capable of keeping them." 

Yuuri stares deeply into the expressive eyes, getting lost in their unspoken words and thoughts. This is the moment of his life. Victor telling he really loves him without speaking, and it does wonders to Yuuri's heart and soul. But Victor is still looking at him hurtfully. 

"But you go and speak these words so recklessly like this like they are nothing, to make me feel better? No.. Not my Yuuri! My Yuuri's every word is calculated, in place, he never talks more than necessary. He knows what to say and when. That what makes your words so valuable and honest. Cause they are like rare jewels. You don't talk much, you say what you really mean. Throwing these important words like this disappoints me..a lot." 

Yuuri knits his eyebrows in a sad frown, and he kisses the two fingers silencing him before moving them away. "No. I don't speak a lot because I can't. And I've always wished I could. I wish I could tell you exactly how I feel. These three words ate not nothing to me Victor. They are everything in my life now Victor. They're even my life. You don't understand Victor, you don't!"

The tears pool again in the sea blue crystalline eyes. "Yuuri if you really mean that..kiss me in front of everyone. Can you do that Yuuri? Can you?" He challenges him hopelessly. 

But Yuuri doesn't hesitate to take his chin and capture his mouth in an urgent kiss, so violent and so savage. Desperate and starved, he devours the cry swollen lips in greed, trapping every cell between his own lips. Victor responds with an angry moan as he clings with his life into Yuuri, attaching to him in every possible human way. 

The kiss lasts for a few minutes until Victor pulls away, still crying heatedly, leaving Yuuri dazed and intoxicated with heaving chest. He almost lost track of time and place, like no one around them. The loud tasteless music is nothing to his ears. The heat of the crowd and dancing bodies are nothing compared to his core heat from Victor's kiss. 

"But can you kiss me like this outside of this place, in front of sober people, in front of people who know you?" His voice is bitter, accusatory, and depressed. 

Yuuri wants to say yes, wants to say soon. But he remembers how Victor said his words were valuable, because he could keep them. Can he keep his word now? He was so ready to senselessly fight the whole world few hours ago. But now.. 

"No you can't. You can't Yuuri and I don't blame you. Because I understand, that's why I wanted to work hard. To make you capable of doing so, of kissing me in front of the world with no worry or shame. Hell knows I'm at the lowest point of my life. I have no idea what I'll do next. But right now.. Let me enjoy the fake bliss of being intimate with you in front of a half sober crowd."

Victor jumps on him to adhere it heir faves and bodies together in perfect union, losing all their defences. They continue to passionately make out for a of while. And with few more glasses the alcohol courage lucks in and Victor drags Yuuri to a dark corner where they can relief their growing hardness. There're still sadness and blame and fury, but at least they've got each other's bodies. 

Yuuri showers his face with gentle kisses, trying to apologize with every kiss, murmuring soothing words and sweet praises. While Victor is whimpering and moaning, furiously pumping their hardness together for a quick release. And the idea of coming in public like this is really exciting, although no one is really noticing. But they're threatened to get caught up anyone approaches them.

"Ahh.. Yuuri.. This is so good. So good.." Victor mumbles as they both pour white streaks in his hand. Yuuri hugs him so so protectively, rubbing his cheek to Victor's in affection. His hand reaches to brush and smooth the long messy strands of Victor's hair. 

"I just want to see wearing a ring like mine, with my name on it." Victor whispers, making Yuuri's eyes go wide in shock. He retracts his head to fully look at Victor's face. He's flushed and wasted, face smeared and dirty from all the crying. But there's a small hopeful smile. "A ring with my name on it in your finger. It means you are mine too." 

Yuuri sweetly takes his hand and religiously kisses every part of it, with a lingering kiss on the gold ring crowning Victor's finger. Yuuri got him that ring like a romantic fool to make him his. What Victor doesn't know that it's a couple ring, and the other one of the pair is with Yuuri. An identical ring with Victor's name engraved on it, has been tucked inside Yuuri's wallet for over a year, waiting for the right time to be slipped on Yuuri's finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song victor was singing was there's a light that never goes out by the smiths, one of my very faves, I recommend it 
> 
> Next chapter will be out soon..  
> Also it will be..  
> Yeah we all know it's gonna happen...
> 
> Angst


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry for long absence  
> i'm so sorry it goes downwards from here  
> 9000 words of angst everyone?
> 
> A reminder for the last chapter since it's been too long: Mari wants Yuuri to get married to a girl of their family choice, Yuuri goes like "I'm gay Mari, but thank you". Yuuri goes to a business dinner with phichit, Victor shows up after the dinner, being cutesy and needy and asks him to go to a club. They go, and Victor is miserable, he reveals he can't be a fashion designer and he sucks at everything in life, he vents out his frustrations and insecurities to Yuuri who is ready to do anything for him. They lose their caution and make out obscenely at the club, Yuuri meanwhile decides he needs to tell Victor how much he loves him and he's ready to face his family and the whole world about it...
> 
> i hope you enjoy the pain

Yuuri wakes up hopeful, with a horrible headache and aching body, but still hopeful. Sleeping four am and waking up three hours later isn't really the ideal, especially after few shots of alcohol, but last night something has entirely changed. Good change though. Maybe Victor has forever lost last night and the memories of it have permanently vanished. But they partially spoke and that small torturing conversation helped him understand many things, and at least helped him be secure about Victor's feelings.

It also makes him guilty as hell, he's the main reason for Victor's misery. This is how he pays him back for making him finally taste the happiness he had always lacked before him in his life? Yuuri should fix that as soon as possible, he must let Victor know the truth about his feelings. Maybe he can't announce their relationship immediately, but he will do it some day in the near future. He will promise him with honest words and he'll keep his word. He must also let Victor know that he's very worthy, that he doesn't need to do anything to earn Yuuri's love. It's been already there from the very first moment.

He sighs and throws an adoring look on the silver mop of hair occupying the pillow next to him. Victor is sleeping on his stomach burying his face into the pillow, completely out of this world. He's going to be in much pain when he wakes up, god it's going to be a hell for him. Yuuri wishes he found stay to nurse him during his awful hangover, but how when he's a slave in a suit and tie?

He plants few kisses on the naked marble back, lightly rubbing its smoothness, then reluctantly gets up to start his day. Nothing more regrettable than leaving the warmth and coziness of Victor's side. It physically hurts to leave the bed, especially with the wicked headache smashing his head mercilessly.

Lucky for him, the day isn't going to be too long, also it's Friday. So a long weekend ahead of him with Victor who is now free from any other commitments since he left his class. Which reminds Yuuri! He's been too focusing on his relationship with Victor and totally forgetting about the main reason for all that. He still needs to work on Victor's self esteem, which is on the ground thanks to him. 

Victor needs to realize he's not worthless just because he's not committed to a boring job. He's not against Victor's self discovery and his will to become on his own. But it's just...Yuuri can't imagine him in anything else but modeling, because he's really good at it. It's not unimportant as he thinks it is, it's something requires effort and talent. And Victor is just natural at it. Like Yuuri isn't much into fashion, but if he sees a good suit on a good looking man wouldn't he want to wear it and pay the ridiculously amount of dollars for it?

But Yuri won't tell him any of that because he won't dream of controlling Victor's choices or even influencing them. And Victor is so damn stubborn, he wouldn't be convinced anyway by a different opinion. What he can do is to suggest him something else, offer him an opportunity. Something like...what does Yuuri know but business management and stocks and profits and all that? Okay that doesn't sound like a complete horrible idea. 

He's often talked about his work with Victor and he's always seemed genuinely interested and responsive. He would also give his opinions, and maybe he's lacking the full image but many of his opinions are logical. If he gets the experience...it might actually work for him. He could fit in few aspects, including public relations and human resources. Okay this may be too ambitious to imagine, but Victor is sociable and has a good way of dealing with other people. He isn't fully aware of that but Yuuri can recognize the potential. And Yuuri is also aware that not every trainee and workers at his facility has gotten a sophisticated college degree, that's the thing about his management, he offers chances to people lacking the degree and the experience. 

Maybe Victor could train as an assistant or something at one of the departments in Yuuri's company, he can learn and gain good experience from it. Wow that would make a wild fantasy of a boss and assistant relationship. Yuuri shakes his head at his silliness and he gets dressed.

Later Phichit greets him good morning as he picks him up to work with Yuuri's car, which he left with him last night since Yuuri drove Victor's.

"You seem like you're in a good mood today sir." Phichit observes, although Yuuri is sure the fatigue and lack of sleep are all apparent on his face. 

Yuuri responds with a small smile before taking a large gulp of his morning coffee, too lazy to speak.

They discuss today's schedule as they walk to their offices, and as they enter Yuri's office, they're welcomed by an interesting sight. Phichit is right after all, Yuuri realises as he watches Yuri and Otabek engaged in an unhurried loving kiss. It looks like a quiet conversation between the two lovers with hundreds of words flowing without being said. Since when have they been together? 

"Looks like you were right Phichit." Yuuri doesn't mean to interrupt them and announce his presence this way. But the two men pull apart in surprise, redder than blood and whimpering in mortification. 

Phichit looks at them like he's just won the lottery. "Oh my...oh my.... Congratulations to you both! You look cute together." Both of them drop their eyes to the floor in shame while Yuuri smirks knowingly. 

"I'm at my office." He simply says, cue to Yuri to follow him.

There's something so warm and happy blooms in Yuuri's chest seeing these two together. It's like the universe has conspired to send him signs, signs to encourage him to do it. With each minute passing he's closer to Victor than ever, he's closer to his heart. 

When he takes his seat to start his work, Yuri stands by him submissively like a guilty student expecting his punishment. Seriously why are all if them expecting Yuuri to oppose this relationship? He's never interfered in his employees' personal life. He's not that intimidating and that bossy, is he?

"You have something to say Yuri?" Yuuri asks neutrally, eyes completely on his computer screen. 

He hears Yuri clear his throat. "This is..this is the first time we kiss like this sir. We never did this before."

Yuuri pauses for a minute, maybe challenging Yuri's nerves a little. He looks up to him, and tries to pulls his lips in a gentle smile. "I didn't ask and I don't care. You're not obligated to explain anything to me Yuri. That's your personal life, and as long as your personal relationship with Otabek doesn't affect your professional one I have no say in that." 

He sees the signs of relief on Yuri's face, exhaling his nervousness in ease. A small grin creeps on his delicate features lighting them. "Thank you so much sir. I was worried you...would disagree on our relationship because...this is not professional. But I assure you it is not to affect our jobs." Yuri promises excitingly like a soldier that Yuuri expected a military greeting. 

He chuckles lazily and pushes his glasses on his nose. "In fact, I'm a little bit interested in...knowing more details. Have you been dating under my nose for too long?"

"No no! Not at all. We literally got together like half an hour ago." 

A sly smirk takes Yuuri's face. He rests his cheek on his fist in interest. "Care to tell me more?"

Yuri fidgets in discomfort, of course this is awkward for him. From Yuuri's observation he knows what's Yuri like. He's the type who refuses to show emotions to not appear weak. Although he can be very expressive, a blessing Yuuri lacks. 

"We...somehow get along. And I think...I've been having feelings for him for as long as I remember. But it was really hard to tell if Otabek feels the same, and I was just waiting for a sign, just any hint." His face begins to soften. And his eyes gleam in affection. So easy to recognize that look. "Suddenly today, he just said it. 'Yuri I like you.' We talked a little and..." He bites his lip to restrain his joyful smile.

"Congratulations for you both. I think you make a nice couple." Yuuri wants to say more, but that was enough to make Yuri light up even more.

"Thank you so much Mr Yuuri." 

"Now..go back to work."

Yuri nods and leaves in victory, while Yuuri feels victorious himself. He laughs at himself because victory...Victor. Silly. Even his name he adores so much. Suddenly he notices how his desk looks so lifeless and boring. He wonders what is it like to display a framed photograph of Victor on his desk so he can constantly look at it whenever work gets him, to let anyone who enters this office know that this is the love of his life, his purpose and inspiration. 

Hard but not impossible. 

One hour later, Yuuri is still immersed in his work peacefully. Too focused and out of the world that he doesn't take notice of his phone vibrating. Until an urgent knock on his door disturbs him, and actually...causes an unpleasant knot in his stomach.

"Come in." He calls, and Phichit walks in. Phichit walks in...worried.

Phichit never gets worried, if he does it means there's a disaster. It's so uneasy to see his face distressed pale from color, his familiar easiness unfound. He walks to Yuuri hurriedly, offering his phone. The whole scene is enough to make Yuuri's hear sink in his feet. 

"Sir there's an issue." He hesitated to give him the phone. 

With shaky hand, Yuuri takes it and braces himself for what's coming. 

Photos.. 

Photos from last night. Photos of him and Victor at the club last night. Many photos in various situations, most of them are inappropriate. Yeah Yuuri gave Victor the total freedom to be touchy feely however he likes last night, and Victor liked it dirty and scandalous. And Yuuri thought...he thought they were protected from praying eyes in the hidden corners of the club, under the throbbing dim lights. He thought it was fine because they weren't the only ones publicly making out. He thought...

Scandalous is the least word to describe the photos. Because Victor and Yuuri went too far from drunk making out. It's like explicit scenes straight from a bad porn teaser. Yuuri doesn't even recall them going this far. It varies from them dancing sensually, kissing obscenely, touching and feeling each other, Victor basically giving him a lap dance with a naked torso, to the blow job he almost gave him before moving to a darker corner. 

But these photos aren't just sent to Phichit in a message. These are publicly published photos in the greatest gossiping website concerned with the upper class and society stars. And by now it's sure that the photos took their turn on every possible website and news outlet with many interesting headlines and spicy articles guaranteeing trafficking. And even if Yuuri isn't too known outside the business world, people like a good piece of gossip.

Businessman Yuuri Katsuki of the pioneering muti-billion Japanese business empire Yu-topia Katsuki group caught in inappropriate situation with one of his male models. The pair were caught on cam getting intimate and steamy at a night club. Katsuki who is known for being too private and conservative seemed to enjoy his time with a handsome blonde. Further investigations revealed the identity of his company, who is Victor Nikiforov, 22, Russian. He is the representative model of Katsuki group's fashion house.

Wow, a good piece of gossip indeed, as good as Hollywood movies. 

Yuuri numbly navigates the other sites and checks the articles, all displaying the photos fully, with their dash of salt and spice. And while it's not a business controversy, it still has a huge impact in Yuuri's moral reputation and career. Regardless of the cultural differences between the USA and Japan, the Americans obsession with gossip and the Japanese apathy and nonchalance about the others personal life, it is still a scandal. A big one.

The public doesn't matter as the business partners and acquaintances who most probably lost their respect for him forever. And...his family. Oh! His old fashioned traditional family, who are waiting for him to get married to a woman of their choice...who are preparing him to lead the entire group in the future. 

Yuuri is ruined...

"Mr Yuuri please tell me are you okay? Have some water please." 

Phichit's voice comes warm and concerned to pull Yuuri from the state of utter numbness. He looks up to find his loyal employee/friend gazing him in sympathy. Phichit hands him a cool glass of water, and Yuuri receives it with a trembling hand. He prays he doesn't drop it as he drinks down the soothing fluid.

Yuuri leans his back to his chair, taking in a deep breathe. Freaking out is useless, it's not even an option. Also there's nothing to do to fix this. What happened has happened and he will just wait for the consequences. But not right now. Right now he just needs to breath. So he handles the never ending vibrating phone to Phichit, "Please tell anyone I'm unavailable." He asks. Phichit nods and leaves the office room to take the call. 

Maybe it's time for a fast acting tranquilizer. Yuuri swallows the pill, eyes closed and chest heaving. He should think, what should he do? Nothing. He can do nothing anyway. The photos are already out and even if he has a legal right to sue, it still isn't changing the fact that these photos are already out for everyone. Maybe it's better this way, didn't he want the world to know about him and Victor?

But no! Not like this! Not before he confesses his love to him and asks him to be in his life for the rest of it. Not before they work their relationship into healthier aspects and communicate honestly. It's not fair for Victor. Yuuri can lose everything, he doesn't care. But this will come as a blow to Victor. Oh god! What will Victor do?

Yuuri runs his fingers in his hair, then he walks to the door. And as he steps out of the office, he hears a very angry Yuri arguing with Otabek and Phichit. " Why would this even be a scandal? I mean it's obviously is, but what crime did he commit? Isn't he allowed to date and fuck and love like the rest of humans?! It's his personal life and no one should judge him. Pfft, if I know who leaked these photos, I would literally shove their fucking phones up their pus..."

Yuuri makes a small sound, announcing his presence. The three look at him in awkwardness. Phichit walks up to him. 

"I canceled all your appointments for today. Also I contacted our attorney to see what we can do. There's a whole PR team right now working on a statement to release as soon as possible. We'll get this under control Mr Yuuri." Phichit being the ultimate savior as ever. 

"Mr Yuuri, are you feeling okay?" Yuri asks in real concern, Yuuri has never expected to find someone who cares for him for real. Turns out there're more than one person. 

Yuuri does great job in displaying confidence and strength after a moment of fragility. 

"Don't worry about me. It has happened anyway, nothing to change that." 

"But who did this? Was it someone coincidentally at the same club and took the opportunity to blackmail you? Your enemies are many sir." Yuri tries to conclude. But Phichit shakes his head in disagreement.

"If it was someone trying to blackmail, they would have sent us the photos first to threaten us and said their demands. No. Mr Yuuri was targeted. Someone knew exactly where you would be with whom." Phichit holds his chin thoughtfully. Every word he says makes sense. It's more than a coincidence.

It's someone keeping an eye on Yuuri. This person knows about his secret relationship with Victor. This person only wants to expose him. Someone who knows a lot about Yuuri's life and movements. 

Suddenly Phichit chuckles awkwardly. "Someone who knew where and with whom you would be other than me of course." Yeah Phichit is technically the only who knew. 

"No Phichit. I don't have the slightest doubt about you. Don't worry." Yuuri assures him, because somehow Yuuri knows too well who did it.

"Mr Yuuri, I don't mean to interfere but I have an idea about this. And maybe it's repulsive but...In the light of the recent happenings...I can guess who did it." Otabek surprisingly offers the solution. Yuuri gestures for him to continue, because he's sure Otabek will get it right.

"I think it's.. Miss Mari." Otabek mouths the name with a silent apology, while Phichit and Yuri gape at him. 

"Oh my god!" Phichit squeals.

"It makes sense. Actually, I think she's been doing this for a while, she's watching me. I thought I was being paranoid but no, someone is really following me most of the time. And it's not far from Mari to hire someone to watch me. She's been anticipating a fall like mine last night to finally expose me, in a way she doesn't seem involved."

"This is.." Heartless, cruel, betraying...Yuri hesitates to finish. But it's the truth. It stems from the cold war between Yuuri and Mari, fighting for the better position. It does seem like the family and the board are favoring Yuuri despite his young age. This somehow makes him her rival, because it's no secret she's always been eyeing the US region management for too long. 

The family is maintaining this kind of competitive tension between them, because it forces them to do their best. A moment of weakness, a fall, will cause the other to completely blow the other away replacing them. 

"It's not just about the subtle rivalry between me and Mari. It's her way of making me submit to her. The damage control is the thing she's after. Because then I'm bound to do everything she and the others decide for me. Including the marriage.." Yuuri pauses for a moment. "It's not surprising." 

They all agreed on this, it's only logical. Yuuri enters back his office and lays on the leather couch in surrender. The sedative pill is doing its calming effect now. Maybe he should take a short nap. Maybe...

"Sir," Phichit knocks and enters. "Mr Victor on the phone."

No... 

Yuuri is fast on his feet, taking his phone at once.

"Victor.,."

"Yuuri what's happening?" Victor's voice comes out strangled, chocked on tears. It wrenches Yuuri's heart that it physically hurts. No, no, anything but Victor. 

"Baby it's fine believe me. It's all going to be fine I swear. Don't worry about it okay?"

"Why are our photos everywhere on the internet? And what foolish things have I done last night? Yuuri are you crazy? how can you let down your guard and why didn't you stop me from acting foolishly? Oh god it's all my fault.." The next words come out unclear, muffled by all the sobbing. 

"Victor calm down I swear it's not your fault. Everything will be fine." Is Yuuri crying too?

"I've destroyed you Yuuri. I'm so so sorry...I'm...Oh god..." At this point Victor is practically shouting weakly. 

"No Victor no! I swear it's alright. It's not your fault. You've done nothing wrong I swear. I wasn't careful, it's all my fault. But don't worry, I'm going to be fine...Victor I'm coming home now, wait for me,please..."

*********

"Victor.. Baby boy.. Stop crying please." Yuuri begs as he caresses his wet cheek, gently wiping the tears away. But Victor's babyish sobbing increases with each stroke, and rivers of tears flood his face. Sometimes, and it may be sick and twisted, but sometimes Yuuri loves watching him cry. How the brilliant blue of his eyes brightens gorgeously with the condensed pools of tears, how each drop shines clearly like crystals, how his lips swell and redden like a ripe cherry, how his entire face colors in pink. It's a thing of beauty that Yuuri loses himself into it. 

What's wrong with him? Is that what he's thinking right now? 

He runs his hand through the silver tangled strands. Victor is a mess from last night. It seems he didn't even wash his face when he woke up, and he's still naked with the sheet wrapped around him. That's how Yuuri came home to find him. His lover didn't get the chance to arise properly before receiving the shock.

After a sweet kiss on the forehead, Yuuri looks in his eyes intensely. "Look at me here Victor. Listen to me, it looks like a huge problem but trust me it's really not. This can be handled easily. You don't have to feel guilty or overwhelmed. It's just a misfortune and a dirty conspiracy, and I'm going to solve it all."

"You...You are an idiot! How couldn't you control me and my stupid drunk ass? You're always cautious when we go out, how can you let this happen?"

"I know, I know, this is my mistake and I will take the responsibility, I'm the one who's affected by this but I will also solve this. It's not your fault at all. You don't have to get involved in this at all."

Victor isn't buying a word from him. His sobbing has calmed now, but the tears flow down unstopped. And this look in his eyes is just too scary. 

Yuuri kisses his hand again and again, hoping it'll provide him with a sense of safety. As if Victor needed more problems than he already has. Why are all the blows coming successively one after the other with no chill? Like the whole world has conspired to lead him to misery. Not only he's carrying the burden of his self esteem issues, but added to them now the guilt of ruining Yuuri's life.

If he only knows that he's Yuuri's life!

As Yuuri finally loses the last bits of ability to talk, the silence prevails for longer than he can measure. His nerves are burning with the anxiety fire, especially seeing Victor in this altered state of unconsciousness. It's scary to death, seeing Victor so devoid of emotion, cold eyed despite the continuous flow of steaming face. It makes Yuuri's head go to the most unpleasant places, with horrible analogues to Victor's face. 

"Victor, please...talk to me. Please forgive me. I'm sorry I put you in such stress, I promise it'll be all okay..." 

Victor is staring at him with an emptiness Yuuri has never seen in his expressive eyes before. Not glaring, not blaming, just a blank look. Yuuri can't dare to imagine what he might be thinking, because he's sure it's something good.

"Victor...please..." He begs, for what? He has no idea. For Victor to talk...to shout at him, to even punch him in the face. Yuuri's life might shatter down to piece, but he won't allow a break between him and Victor. Their relationship is vulnerable enough, and he won't hesitate to mend whatever small cracks between them. 

Suddenly, Victor stands up, Yuuri's eyes not leaving his figures as he moves and walks towards the bathroom. Yuuri follows him at once, but when he's at the bathroom door, he's met with the harsh slam of the door. 

Okay, take a breath, he encourages himself. Maybe Victor needs some time by himself to absorb the shock, and the presence of Yuuri might distract him. He needs to process all this in his own, a nice bath will calm him down. Yuuri is already hearing the shower water cascading down. Yes that's good. Victor will be fine, he will be fine, Yuuri repeats to himself.

Everything will be fine.

 

*********

It's not fine. Everything isn't fine. Yuuri's whole world is crumbling down, falling apart, and he can't even do anything about it. Despite all the efforts of his legal and PR teams he can't save himself for a day. Maybe he underestimated the scandal's impact, he was too busy worrying about the love of his life. Although the damage to his business isn't that huge, but it's still damage with many losses and failures. 

Some of his future partnerships are considering withdrawal, some of his current are already trying to end business with him. He's being slandered by many mouthes and articles. Some deals are forever gone. Yuuri can't take two steps at his headquarters without getting side eyes from his employees, hearing even the jokes and judgments with his own ears.

But he still stands tall, appearing unbothered, still confident and well composed. Showing his weakness or the little bit of shakiness isn't an option to him. He's facing all the hardships with his head held high, ready for every loss. Always preparing a plan b and c and d, not settling for failures. 

His family, the board, the upper management arc, they are slaying and stabbing him with no mercy. But he refuses to bleed. He can listen to every single word of humiliation and take it without blinking, only replying in short sentences promising of making it up. His family decide to give him another chance to prove himself, and he takes it to death. His sister is out of the picture unsurprisingly, maybe feeling too guilty to face him or to call to pretend scolding him, even when she remained in New York for more few days after the launch of the scandal. 

Nothing is fine even when Yuuri pretends the complete opposite, nothing is fine including He and Victor. 

Oh he and Victor, Victor!

Things between him and Victor have never been this bad, no matter how hard Yuuri is trying to fix things. He never thought it would reach this point. Victor is growing more distant day after day, his words are becoming less and less. His cheerful affectionate self is something of the far past. And it's killing Yuuri, everyday he loses a part of his soul to death. 

The day of the scandal when Yuuri went home immediately hearing Victor sobbing and breaking down, it was a turning point of their life. That day Victor took the longest shower of his life, while Yuuri was kneeling by the door, praying for his safety. His minds kept going to the worst places, imagining the worse. Victor was at a completely abnormal state, and Yuuri thought he would even consider something like hurting himself. Occasionally, Yuuri would open the door of the bathroom without knocking, just to check on him, expecting the worst. And he only found Victor standing leaning to the wall with the water falling down his body. And when Victor was done, he took the bed and refused to leave it all day long.

With days passing, Yuuri was ready to let his company burn down to ashes, to lose all his fortune to the last dollar, he was willing to let the whole world fall apart, all to have a single smile from Victor. But Victor wouldn't even allow him to sit with him, and when Yuuri offered not going to work and spending the day with him, Victor would go mad and ask him to leave to his work, telling him he wouldn't stand more guilt. And Yuuri made a perfect job, pretending that everything with his work was fine, portraying the perfect smile and appearing so stress free. Kisses and hugs and reassuring words, presents and surprises and roses, a promise of a long vacation everywhere in the world, nothing is working with Victor, nothing is able to pull a smile on his face.

Yuuri doesn't get tired of trying, trying to bring them together again, to earn Victor's satisfaction again, never losing his patience or pressuring Victor. All with his doses of anxiety medications increasing, with the visits to his therapist becoming more frequent. Yuuri even went far once to suggest to Victor relationship consulting, psychotherapy, anything to save them. And Victor's only response is to adapt to the new situation.

Yuuri even goes to the extend of asking Chris about Victor, trying to pray for any information about him, what's in his mind, what he's up to. Sadly, Chris can't provide him with much, replying that Victor himself has become a mystery to him. He rarely talks when they are together, doesn't show any reactions, it's become even concerning to him. And for the first time, Yuuri doesn't have a choice but to, for the first time, tell Chris about everything going between them, and whlile Chris is already aware of many details listening to Victor, its the first time he get them from Yuuri's perspective, and it's eye opening. Yuuri usually minds baring himself to someone like this, a total stranger, but he's too desperate, maybe Chris would be of a great help to his deteriorating relationship .

One day Yuuri goes home, and he almost faints...

Finding Victor packing his bags isn't an easy scene to the eyes, the eyes that has become accustomed to the tears and insomnia. Yuuri feels waves of cold running through his weak body, his knees can no longer hold his weight. Why is he even surprised when all the signs are there, has always been there? An attack of hyperpnea making his rapid breathing loud enough to be heard by Victor, who looks up to him with the same passive face he's been sporting for weeks. His eyes have lost their usual glittering, turned to something so cold and icy, how is that even possible? Yuuri wonders.

He gathers all the energy left in his agonizing body, forcing his suffocated voice to talk, "Where...where are you going?" At the few seconds between his question and the answer he's praying to go deaf, to lose his consciousness, to even die,rather than hearing the answer he's expecting to hear.

"LA." Victor answers, short and bored. And it isn't really the answer to Yuuris unasked more specific question, 'are you leaving me?'.

"Why?"

Victor sighs, focusing on folding his clothes into the bag. "Just a small break." 

He's not leaving him? Yuuri wants to sigh in relief, but he needs to make sure.

"For how long?" 

He shrugs. "Few days I guess." Looking at him finally in the eyes. "Wont't be late." 

Yuuri can't help but giving him a small smile, very small that it can go unnoticed, if only Victor reciprocates it equally tight and small. "I'm going to miss you."

What is he expecting? Victor running to him throwing his whole body between his arms, breathing into his neck, murmuring he's going to miss him too? Even a simple thing is just a product of Yuuri's wildest most ambitious imagination. Victor just gives him a practical nod, and he goes on doing his business. But Yuuri doesn't know what to expect from Victor's sudden trip, what are his motives, how can he interpret it? Maybe Victor just needs some time away from Yuuri? A small break that won't hurt, a change of air to Victor so he can finally relax and exist in a stress free environment. Yuuri is trying his best to understand Victor, to empathize his point of view. But Victor isn't the only one that is hurting here, Yuuri is also suffering from many aspects, and he's the one who is struggling to keep them together despite all his other major problems. Can't Victor see that? Or does he see and this adds more to his overwhelming guilt? 

Yuuri walks over to Victor, takes him in his hug, brushing his hair. "Take all the time you need," He says with a broken voice, "then return back to me, safe and well. Okay?" His chest is squeezed with pain when he notices how Victor's body goes stiff, his arms not moving to return the hug.

Victor easily detach himself from Yuuri's hold, occupying his fingers into his own hair. "You too, take care of yourself. And don't exhaust yourself too much." Words, just emotionless words said with no real sentiment. But Yuuri accept them gratefully, tricking himself with a false sense that he's cared for, he matters to Victor.

 

**************

A week, Yuuri has a week to make up his mind, to choose between two things. That's all the time his father has been generous enough to give him, and he's already waited for too long and given him many chances, and this the last. He has been too tolerant and easy on him despite his deadly mistake, but he trusts his son to forgive him for such huge mistake. He understands that his smart hardworking son has been an object of immoral seduction, and with his lack of intimate life he gave up easily to the temptation neglecting the results of his actions. Toshiya Katsuki understands very well that his son despite his maturity and wisdom is still naive and good hearted, and is a man with needs and desires after all, so he will forgive him this time. On condition that his son regret his reckless actions and admit his wrongdoings, doing his best to correct his mistakes. 

And the correction is a choice, a choice to keep his high position and his successful career overlooking his latest pitfall, and earning a trophy wife. That wife that has the approval of the family, that will be the perfect damage control, to fit in and complete the perfect image of a respectable successful businessman, Mari's best recommendations. That's how he can redeem himself and earn the absolution. 

The other choice is unthinkable of course, is to continue in his messed up lifestyle, and quit his job with his entire family totally disowning him, counting him as a dead family member after putting them to shame. 

That's the compromise, he can't have it all. He career, his family, his money, and his power, or...Victor.

But the amount of attention Yuuri's paying to this life changing decision isn't proportionate sufficiently to its importance, because right now he has his fair share of problems and this thing can lay at the back of his mind for some time, at least till the end of that week. Since right now he's busy burning with fire obsessing over someone in Los Angeles, and this someone is doing everything to drive Yuuri crazy, such as attending big parties with VIPs, old friends as he called them, and the worst of all...hanging out with a certain famous pop star. Yuuri's like a mad dig chasing his tail, following all day long Victor's news in LA, because they aren't too private to reach the tabloids and the celebrity gossiping sites. Victor has been spending time with Jean-Jacques Leroy and his squad, of course this puts him under the lenses of the paparazzi...under the speculating curious eyes. 

And with the heat of his scandal with not cooling down that much yet, Victor has certainly become the new hot topic, especially with his charismatic presence and his ethereal features. And JJ is obnoxiously famous and trendy, he loves showing himself and showing off, so while his pap shots with Victor aren't really that steamy or even remotely intimate, they still catch the attention, and people might presume it's a new relationship at the life of the pop star. Because honestly what is Victor doing on the fucker's yacht wearing nothing but the tiny speedo giving away his entire body and posing seductively into them like this? The presence of other people are making it a little bearable, but still the photos reveal how the fucker is drooling over victor who is giving the cold shoulder to everyone else.

Yuuri isn't worried about Victor being unfaithful to him, he still trusts him and he's sure Victor wouldn't do that to him. But what is the point of doing all this show? What's the point of attracting all this attention, being with one man Yuuri has despised much for making a move on his partner? Is Victor intending to punish Yuuri for all the hard time he had? Or is he pushing Yuuri to dump him? 

What hurts more about seeing these photos is that it reminds him of seeing similar photos of Victor few years ago when he was watching him and obsessing over the one night stand they had together. Reminds him of the time when Victor was having that luxurious carefree lifestyle, when he was too far from Yuuri's reach and Yuuri was just watching from afar with a hope that they would be reunited again. Now all Yuuri's feeling is hopelessness...despair, has the distance between grown much again and they are turned into strangers? How can Yuuri stand this? It's all beyond his capacity that he sometimes wishes his whole life is terminally over.

Everything is falling apart around and inside him, everything is working against him.

Mari of course reemerges again with full force, finding it the perfect chance to perform her favorite authoritative as the bossy big sister. She's having the time of her life with the 'I told you so', because she's always right. And she preaches to him about how can't trust manwhores who will break his heart and soil his image, repeating how her younger brother is still innocent and isn't aware of the reality of relationships. She asks him how he feels seeing his boytoy flaunting his lowness so openly with another man. 

On the other hand, Yuuri doesn't react, he doesn't defend Victor, and he doesn't even know what to say. He just lets her talking and talking and talking, filling his ears with poisonous ideas and repulsive thoughts. He doesn't have the strength to resist her or even pretend to agree with her. Yuuri's mind just swims away, floating the flow to somewhere else, to a safer shore when things used to be simpler and happier. The memories of him and Victor playing lovers with no worries, happily laughing, stealing moments of joy in each others company. 

"Yuuri... Yuuri, why aren't you answering?"

"Mari, I still have till the end of the week. I'll answer then..."

Her next words come muffled to Yuuri's ear, his senses are directed somewhere else when he notices a movement at his house. He hangs up on Mari without warning and gets up from the bed walking out of the bedroom...until he sees him. Victor is back, and Yuuri is a mess but he can't help but smile. in other circumstances, Victor would have run to him throwing himself in his arms, sobbing how much he had missed him, but not today. 

Yuuri stands still, waiting. And Victor looks the same as he left a week ago, his skin is a it tanner and his posture is hunched down, face still passive from any expression. But Yuuri's eyes glitter nevertheless, with incredible longing he stares at him, taking in his sweet presence that he missed so much. 

"Victor..." He breathes.

Victor doesn't reply, he takes slow steps towards him, and to Yuuri's surprise, he wraps his around him. And Yuuri is defeated to let one tear escape his eye, Victor is here and he's hugging him. His body is still radiating the same warmth, although his hug isn't tight enough so Yuuri tightens it, embracing him with his entire being. His nostrils flare inhaling the lovely familiar scent of his lover that he's addicted to. And maybe Victor isn't hugging him with an equal excitement but at least he's the one who initiated this hug when he could have easily avoided it. Yuuri feels pathetic, a simple soulless hug like this is making him feel secure. 

Does this hug have to end? Do they have to break apart? Why should he let go of him?

 

************

"So did you like your vacation? Had a good time?"

"It was fine I guess..."

"I hope it made you feel better."

He shrugs, never confirming or denying. Yuuri struggles to find something else to talk about after Victor slammed the door shut on the whole LA subject. Small talks, they are meaningless, Yuuri has never liked them, has never resorted to them. But now it's his only way to extract a word or two from his distant lover. He will settle for any nonsense, he pleads to Victor to say something...anything.

The silence is heavy in the air, making it even hard to breath. Nothing but the sounds of forks and plates and glasses clattering as they have the dinner Yuuri prepared. The food is tasteless and the appetite is non existent, and even the small talk isn't available. Maybe Yuuri should just stab his eye with the fork. 

"How are you Yuuri?"

This is a question Yuuri wasn't expecting at all, and he wasn't ready for it. It makes him look at Victor in wonder, what is this supposed to mean? It's not a question as it's a trick question, a riddle with a complex answer, it's question from which multiple difficult questions branch, a maze to be lost in. 

Does he mean how is Yuuri now at this moment? or how is he in general? Is Yuuri even sure of the answer? How is he feeling? Is he happy Victor is here? Or is he miserable that Victor isn't here? is he relived Victor is finally interacting with him? Or is he frustrated by that interaction? Is Victor even asking him how he feels? what does 'How are you' even mean?

"I don't know, what do you think?" Yuuri fakes a gentle smile, trying to encourage him to talk further more, to elaborate the mysterious question. 

But it's transparent on Victor's face, he doesn't know either. "I have no idea, I'm too lost inside myself to even guess."

Yuuri sighs, still maintaining a ghost of the kind smile he's dedicating to Victor. "I'm not feeling well, Victor." 

Victor leaves his seat and walks over to the large glass window facing the city, his face can't be seen and his back to Yuuri. Yuuri doesn't want him to give him his back...never. So, he just walks over to him to stand by his side. 

"I feel the same as you... And you have to know that...the reason for our mutual misery is us." He pauses, making Yuuri confused with the statement. Victor looks at him, looking too sad. "We are not happy together anymore. And I remember...one day I asked you what I mean to you, and you said that...I made you happy, and you wanted to make me happy too."

Yuuri shakes his head, "No we are not the reason of our unhappiness Victor, no! It's just...our bad luck,our circumstances. The extrinsic factors that are working to pull us apart, and break us up. We...we shouldn't allow this to happen, it's our choice..." Yuuri's voice is unconvincing even to himself, he sounds too desperate, too deluded by denial. 

The small humorless chuckle Victor lets out is cruel, then his face is in pain again. "Everything comes to an end Yuuri, it's life..."

"What...what do you mean?" 

"I mean...we should end this, we should stop being together."

Yuuri almost dies in place, he can't believe what he's hearing. "You..." words can't come out... "you want to...to break up with me?" 

Victor's eyes shine with unshed tears, with a shock on his face, like he's just realized what he's saying. "Break up is not the word, we are ending an agreement. Because that's we had, right? You give me money, I give you my company, sugar daddy and his baby..."

"Don't." Yuuri growls, anger distorting his voice. "Don't even try to pretend that that's all we have! It;s never like that, it has never been like that!"

He escapes his eyes, looking everywhere else other than Yuuri's hurt eyes. "I have no idea how you view our relationship Yuuri, but that's how it is to me."

"You are lying, you can't even look at me in the eye when you're saying that, Victor."

"Pardon me Yuuri, you are the one who set all the terms at the start of our thing. You also gave me the freedom to walk away whenever I want to..." 

"But...but you can't just walk away and leave me! Victor i don't know how to live without you!" Yuuri is too close to get on knees and beg at his feet.

"Yuuri, don't be silly, you used to live perfectly fine before me. I'm the least thing you need in your life, I'm actually ruining your life, and I can't keep doing that. We simply are not good for each other Yuuri, we belong to different universes, and if you think could become a thing, well, you're mistaken. Because of me you are going to lose everything, you're already losing..." 

"How can you decide for me? I'm the one to choose here, and what if I decide to choose you..."

"And what do I get in return? In case you forgot, I started with you to be economically secure, are you going to lose your job because of me? And how would I survive then?"

"Liar, you're a liar. It's never about the money, Victor, you can't fool me. I know you too well, that's was never the thing you wanted from me."

"Oh really? Then what do you think I wanted? Some secret romantic escapade with you? You're the one fooling himself, Yuuri!"

"And if you leave me, what are you going to do then? Huh?"

"Why do you think I went to LA?" 

Now Victor is staring up his eyes too openly, glaring at him with heartlessly. And Yuuri wants to slap him, he wants to see him cry, begging his name, because non of that is real. Victor is playing a game to repulse him, he's intending to make him angry and give up on him. But Yuuri isn't giving him that, he won't let him win with his dirty trick.

"You didn't do anything with JJ, did you? I don't buy it!"

"No, I wouldn't disrespect you like this, you don't deserve it Yuuri. Only promised him I'll be his in few days." He smirks, "You have no idea for how long he's been after me, and I think it's about time I give him what he wants, he will give me anything I want too."

Yuuri laughs ironically as he takes few steps back, putting some distance between himself and this cold hearted actor. "So, you are going to leave me for him now?" 

"At least we both are alike, and we are good together. At least he won't try to hide me from all the others, he will proudly take me to all his events and flash me in front of everyone else, he'll pose to the cameras smiling dumbly holding my hand. He's simple, starving for the spot light and attention, he lives a fun life, he's exactly what I need. He will make feel like myself again..."

Yuuri loses all his sanity, it's all his fault he'll never deny that, but... "I know... I know I haven't been treating you right, I didn't give you what you deserve. But I will do everything to fix this Victor, I'll do-"

"It's not about what you do!" Victor interrupts him impatiently, "it's about who you are, Yuuri! You belong to a whole different world than mine, and I'm tired... I'm tired of working so hard to fit my self in your perfect world, of pretending to be someone different than who I'm."

"Victor, I never want you to change..."

"No it's not about what you want, it's about what I feel. And with you, I always feel horrible, worthless and never enough, too dependent and too shallow. And that's the truth, this is who I am, but being with you made me hate myself. I was totally fine before, broke but not broken, I wasn't happy but I wasn't neither unhappy." He sniffles, tears rolling down now, unable to be held back anymore.

And Yuuri dies the thousandth death for today with every word mouthed by Victor, wishing all this to be a nightmare he could wake up from. He's always imagined that moment, their end, but it's never that painful and that ugly. 

"I...I love you Victor...no matter what...'" He resorts to saying, and he watches the fury builds up on Victor's face again. He has made the same mistake again, saying these precious words so carelessly at a moment of vulnerability, using them as shield to protect his heart from breaking. 

"Are blackmailing me? Should this make me feel bad? Shame on you Yuuri!"

"Please!" Yuuri throws his arms around him, throws himself at him, crying hard now. "I can't live without you, please stay by my side..." 

"I..." Victor starts, with the tears choking him. "I won't stay with you because you can't live without me, I want you to be able to live without me, but choose to be with me. You are not free to choose me, and if you choose me now, I won't be satisfied. I don't want you to give up your life for me, I want to be a part of your life. Right now you are not stable, too blinded with emotions to choose right, and if I stay with you, I'll be just selfish, the same worthless trash that I'm..." 

"Victor... Please..." 

"If I stay with I'll just make you lose everything you've worked your entire life for, I'll make you lose your only family, your beloved job, the only thing that you love doing. And later when you look back and measure the loss, and see me, the same failing pathetic thing, you will regret it. And you will hate me for robbing you of your life for a transient moment of happiness."

"No Victor! No! Non of that is true, you don't know me at all. You are all I have dreamed for, all I've needed, everything that's not you is nothing to me. I didn't even know what's life before you. My love for you is the only thing real to me... I'm ready to face everyone with my love to you, and I'm willing to choose you over anything else..."

"And how can I love you when I can't even love my self, Yuuri?" 

Yuuri cries helplessly, unable to reply his question. Did he really destroy someone so beautiful...so pure as Victor like this when he only mean to to give him the whole world?

"You are the only one who made me that happy Yuuri, and also the only one who made me this miserable. I'm thankful for every moment I've spent with you, but i don't deserve any of it. And you deserve much more...much better. I tried to be better for you, but I couldn't. We simply are not meant to be together..." Victor turns his back, heading to the door with nothing in his hands but Yuuri's bleeding heart.

"No...no! I refuse to let you go..." He shouts in denial, pushing his paralyzed limbs to move, to get him to Victor... And when he succeeds, following him at a blink off the eye to stop him at the door, Victor takes his head to plant one last loving kiss on his forehead.

"I wished...I dreamed of you and me...countless times, I dreamed of us walking hand in hand in the streets...our streets. Dreamed of meeting your clients and partnered s as your boyfriend, or even your husband. I imagined meeting your family to get their blessing. I wanted our names fused together. I fantasized about kissing you in the middle of the street, with the probability of anyone knows you seeing us! But this can't happen...will never happen. I'm so mad Yuuri... I'm so mad you entered my life like this..."

Victor turns his back again, leaving. This time Yuuri isn't making an effort to keep him. 

"I'm even madder..." Yuuri can't recognize his voice anymore, after all the scalding tears he's sobbing like he never cried since he was born. "I'm madder because I wasn't even the one who invaded your life, demanding all the attention from you, and forcing you to fall mercilessly in love with me. Because it was all you from the start... You don't remember it, and you'll never do, but you are the one who made me look at you, stare at you, and dance with you. You made me love you like this! And I'm not forgiving you..."

Victor couldn't take it anymore, and he walked through the door without showing his puzzled face, but Yuuri shouts louder... "I'm not forgiving you Victor! I will always love you but I won't forgive you!" Then he collapses on the floor, weeping...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry? But the angst tag there isn't playing...  
> But I swear it will get better next chapter. This break up is essential for Victor's character development, he's at the lowest point of his life, and on top of that he can't be guilty of making Yuuri give up everything for him, he feels it's not fair. next chapter we'll be back to his point of view, and revise what's on his mind when he left Yuuri. Please forgive him!  
> Also I hope the scandal isn't too dramatic...it's an important turn of events, also an important stimulant to both yuuri and victor's motives and actions... 
> 
>  
> 
> I really hope you're still enjoying this story.. tell me what you think! I really struggled to write this monster, angst is hard, guys


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Finally an update.  
> I'm really sorry for being this late, but at least it's over and posted now.
> 
> Last chapter was too painful, this one... I hope it's a little better. Also, I'm known for not committing to a limited chapter count, but gosh this chapter got too out of hand, 14k words???? 
> 
> But it was necessary since it has like Victor's pov of the last three chapters, in addition to his life developments. And I didn't want to split it because it won't feel right to me. 
> 
> Anyway to not get confused guys, there are many flashbacks and time jumps, so beware of that.
> 
> Forgive me for any mistakes, I hope you enjoy.

Today is Yuuri's birthday. 

At least at Russian and Japanese times, not yet in New York. However, today is Yuuri's birthday. This is the first thought crossing Victor's mind as soon as he wakes up, and it fills his empty heart with unbearable bitterness. But it's fine, because today is going to be a good day, Victor senses. After all these months, nearing a year, it's safe to assume that Victor is over his relationship with Yuuri, right? Wrong. But it's still fine, because currently, Victor has never been better.

He revises his schedule for today in his mind before getting up from bed, first work, then an early dinner with his father before he leaves for the flight. Today is a good day. 

He has learnt it's a good strategy that might actually work, repeating to himself it's a good day, it's a good day. It's better to keep his spirits up and be optimistic, fake it until you make it. If he ever feels down, he has to think of the progress he has made so far, to recall his state months ago. For example, he can get out of the bed now, he can even make it and not wait for a service to come and clean up after him. He can see the sun bright in the sky, and dress in his sportswear, and have his usual morning jog. He can take a refreshing shower and dress elegantly. He has a job now, a valuable real job, and he's getting ready to go to that job now. He will have a healthy well cooked breakfast, a loving kiss on the forehead from his mother, and he will go. 

For example, he can take his medication now with the right prescribed dose, without wondering about the possibilities and consequences if he takes more, if he overdose on his antidepressant. These thoughts have no place in his brain now. Victor deserves to feel proud of himself.

He stares at himself in the mirror, eyes slowly scanning every detail of his look, the lost expression is still present in his features. He smiles, he winks, he frowns, he pouts, he smirks, moving from an expression to another, astonished, excited, angry, flirtatious, seductive, happy... Happy, it's still the expression he can't quite train his face to practice without a struggle. Because some days like this, Victor needs to make sure his human expressions are still intact, even if the internal emotions they're supposed to reflect are broken, in order to interact with other human being without arising their unnecessary concern. 

It's not like he's totally depressed, deprived from feelings, hollow and empty like he used to, no that's not his state anymore. Many things have changed to save him from this, and he's much better. It's just...he's not well enough. His mind is still restless, anxious, some things still need to be settled, things not about his self esteem, he's already gone past that. But things concerning his heart. Still, he needs to pretend, today is a good day, he knows it's going to end up good. 

Focusing on his appearance again, he turns his face right and left, checking his profile, his face lines. And he touches his cheek in wonder, in a month he's going to be twenty four. For the first time, he feels he's really aging, and age is taking toll on him. It's ridiculous to think this way, twenty four is still young, the speak of his youth. But it certainly doesn't look like twenty, carefree and happy, shallow and purposeless, no. This twenty four is tired, depressed and anxious, nervous and waiting, but also; hopeful. 

He used to spend a generous amount of time in front of the mirror, almost unhealthy, but he loved pampering himself, perfecting his ravishing looks. Now, Victor stands occasionally in front of it only to recognize himself, to not forget his isolated estranged face. Everything still looks the same, his well defined sharp features, the pure blue eyes with long lashes, high cheekbones and knife edge jaw, pretty lips taking the shape of heart when he smiles. All almost the same, apart from the tired overwhelmed look in his eyes. And his hair... maintained long to curtain his back, because he decided to keep it long, it means commitment...loyalty. Because Yuuri loved it long.

Victor will be twenty four next month, Yuuri is thirty today. When Victor is reminded with this small fact, he smiles. Because in what world does Yuuri even look close to thirty? Not when his innocent face looks every bit of young and cute. Everyone in the world sees the mature handsome aspect of Yuuri when he styles himself every day to look the serious businessman fitting his age. But only Victor got to see the real baby faced Yuuri, with his ruffled hair and his soft features beneath the looking glasses. Only Victor had it.

A knock on the door startles him. He turns his head to it, "Come in."

The door cracks open, revealing one of the reasons Victor's life is much better now, his beloved mother. She walks in with a bright morning smile on her face, "Good morning darling, how are you today?" 

Victor doesn't struggle to stretch his lips in a genuine smile. "I'm great, mamoshka, thank you." 

His mother steps in his space, reaching her hand to touch his face delicately, face becoming concerned. "Are you sure you're okay? Is there anything you would like to talk about?" The same question, every day she asks the same question, with the same wary look, and he always gives the same answer.

"I'm truly fine today, mama. Don't worry about nothing, if I need to talk I won't hesitate." Victor will never talk to her about anything.

She sighs in apparent relief, although she still seem unconvinced. "You're having breakfast with me, aren't you?" 

"Yes. I'll finish getting dressed and I'll follow you, okay?"

"Okay. By the way, papa went out earlier today, said much work awaiting for him. How are you going to the company?" 

Her question is surprising. Victor usually goes to work in his father's car with him, since they're heading to the same place. And when he's not available like this day, Victor can easily call a taxi service, or even on bolder days he walks since the distance isn't too long. So why is she asking this time?

"With my flying carpet." He answers jokingly, his mother obviously forces herself to laugh to not make him feel bad for his unfunny joke. "Like I usually do, I'll order a taxi." 

She nods, but with hesitance, considering a suggestion. "There's another option. We still have your two cars in the garage, it's ok to drive one to work, you know. They're still yours, Vitya, you can drive them again."

Aha, so that's it. His luxurious sports cars he was crazy about, his old life as a prince. And his mother's open dislikeness to his new life pattern. "I don't really feel like driving. I prefer to take a taxi." He answers casually as he walks to his disk, busying himself with packing his laptop.

"Why going to work in a taxi like a commoner when you have these cars? It's a waste to keep them parking like this with no use, isn't it better for you to drive them?" Victor knows that in the back of her mind, his mother doesn't like this version of him, she's holding on to anything has something to do with old Victor, she misses the old Victor, the healthier one in her eye. 

"Maybe it's better to sell them then." He shrugs. The suggestion seems too disturbing to her. 

"Do you need newer one?" She compromises.

"I don't want any at all." He smiles as he moves to his bed, picking up his jacket and puts it on. His confession really leaves her dumbfounded, and she gasps, giving him a look he's seen many times before in the past period. The 'who are you and what did you do to my son?' look. 

"But... But you used to love your cars like your babies, Victor. What happened?" He isn't sure if she's still really in denial, or she's just ignoring the changes he's went through.

"Maybe I lost my passion to cars. Maybe I just don't want to drive." Oh lord, how history repeats its self! What's with all the people he loves obsessing over giving him cars? 

"You know if you don't want to drive we can easily hire you a driver. How about that?" 

He used to have a driver too. Otabek Altin, how Victor misses him. 

"We'll look into that later mama, okay? Today I'll just call a taxi." Victor successfully silences her with a kiss on the cheek, taking her hand as they walk out of the room. His mind drifts to his memories with cars and drivers and Yuuri. Because it will of course end up to Yuuri. Everything in his life starts and ends at Yuuri. 

Yuuri gifted him with his favorite car he's ever got in his life, he didn't drive it for too long, but it was everything he wanted I'm a car. And most importantly, it was given by his Yuuri.

Victor resorts to autopilot to carry on the breakfast conversation with his mother, meanwhile his mind is preoccupied with thoughts about his previous driver, Otabek. He can't really forget his last real interaction with him, it was on the day that everything started to fall apart.

On that day, Victor had established the fact that he would never be a fashion designer, because he simply couldn't, it hadn't worked out with him. Another failure, another disappointment, and another shatter to his fragile self esteem. He just felt too pathetic, unworthy, disabled. He tried not to be hard on himself, justifying that at least he had tried, that one failure wasn't permanent, and he just excluded another way not leading to success...not the end of the world.. and all that self improvement bullshit he conditioned his mind to. 

After he had finished his course with the final decision of giving it up, Victor needed to be with someone so much, he felt like he would lose his mind if he remained on his on without venting his frustrations to someone. He called Chris to arrange a date with him at a cafe or something, and Chris said he would see what he could do. Victor thought he as available for meeting him, so he asked Otabek to drive him to the place. Meanwhile at the car, he called Yuuri, he needed his soothing voice to comfort him, he actually needed Yuuri as a whole. But of course he wouldn't leave his job and come to hug him through his moods, things didn't work like that. he told him how much he missed him, need to relax in his arms, his impatience to be with him later, all with a voice failing to conceal his blues. He tried his best to not arouse Yuuri's worry, but his voice was betraying him.

Unfortunately for him, Chris called shortly after to cancel the meeting, turned out he had an urgent photoshoot. So all the options remained to Victor were to die and rot in disappointment. Or...

When Otabek announced their arrival to the wanted cafe, Victor figured out that no point of going home to cry himself to sleep, and he might just take a nice cup of coffee and chat with... Otabek, his driver/guard who barely said more than five sentences per day, cause why not? Victor should had thought about bonding with his driver sooner than that. 

So when they both sat on the table, the atmosphere surrounding was extremely awkward. Like they sure had talked many times before and even had long conversations, and Victor knew about Otabek's life. But Victor really needed to distract himself from the darkness growing inside himself to the outside consuming him mercilessly. He needed something important or exciting to converse about. 

"So how is your love life?" Victor asked casually with a mild smile. Yeah, Otabek's love life would totally distract him, ha! He bet it was non existent. Also, it was kind of a very private question...directed to a very mysterious person, what answer was he expecting? 

He didn't expect Otabek to choke on his coffee, staring up at hi with a shock on his face. "Excuse me, sir. My what?" 

"You know...your love life...romance...relationships, that sort of thing." Okay Otabek was surely hiding something and Victor had his own doubts and assumptions. He was not going to let it go.

"I'm not in any relationship currently, sir." Otabek answered, face expressionless as ever. 

Victor smirks, resting his cheek on his hand. "But don't you have a crush on someone, Otabek?" Like Yuri Plisetsky, Victor wanted to say. 

And maybe he was just hallucinating, but he had just seen Otabek...blush? 

"I...I... don't think so sir."

Fuck it, he wasn't going to give it to him. "What about Yuri Plisetsky?"

The blush became more explicit, nervousness showing clearly. Victor didn't miss the nervous swallow in his throat. "He's a close friend." 

"Don't you wish if he were closer?" Victor winked with mischief. What did he know about shame?

"Mr Victor..." Otabek looked conflicted, unable to choose his words, and Victor realized he just got it so bad. He expected him to resist, to deny, to change the subject, but he surely didn't expect him to say, "I'm in love with him...Yuri Plistesky." 

Wow, that came off too strong for Victor. Otabek was just too blunt and sincere about it, and Victor could easily spot the suffering on him, his looks, and his voice. Because he knew too well that feeling of...unrequited love? Was that what it was? Victor could also understand where Otabek's desperation stemming from. Yuri was ambitious, sharp, and cold. He wasn't necessarily cold hearted and emotionless. But his ambitions and dedication to his job were kind of discouraging to Otabek, because Yuri seemed to be the type who would put off his love life to achieve his goals first.

Victor looked firmly at him, eyes fixed on him. "Tell him. Don't waste another moment and tell him, time will run out and you're going to regret missing the chance. Try things out together, see if it works."

"But what if he doesn't feel the same about me? What if I ruin our friendship with this and lose him? At least we are close now, right?" That was the most human Otabek ever looked like. And to Victor, it was too endearing, it made him smile. 

"Don't settle for half solutions, don't be satisfied with the less. I've been observing you both long enough, and I could tell your feelings are mutual. And I know you both don't display much feelings, but I can notice you have a connection...a harmony. Trust me, he likes you back. You just need to be open to him, and suggest dating, you already spend time together for your jobs, nothing to lose really. And if your friendship is ruined by this confession, then it's...not meant to be." 

Otabek paused for a while, contemplating the idea. "And What about Mr Yuuri? Isn't this unprofessional?"

"What about him?" Victor smiled. "You think he would mind? That's not right. You don't know him like I do, he will support your relationship."

Otabek looked persuaded. 

Victor grinned widely, "Do it!"

To Victor's knowledge, Otabek did it the first next day. But Victor knew later than that, because at the day of Otabek and Yuri getting tgether, he was busy watching his life crumbling down, seeing the career of his love getting destroyed by himself. Yeah, Victor had other priorities back then. But today he's glad with the fact that he had a hand in the relationship blooming between two dear people to his heart, and it pleases him even more that they're still together until this day. 

**********

When Victor enters his father's office to hand him some important report, he finds him in the company of a possible future client, deep in talk. However, his father glances and calls for him, "Oh Victor come in, we're about to finish. Come meet Mr Petrov." 

Victor takes a deep breath and walks toward them, plastering on his face a nice fake smile, and once his eyes settle on Mr Petrov, Victor decides he doesn't like him. Mr Petrov is mid forties, tall and well built, face is handsome and eyes are sly, his smile is uncomfortable, and he's ogling at Victor too rudely in front of is father. They shake hands and the way he squeezes Victor's hand makes him lose his mind in disgust. Is he already trying to court him by showing dominance?

"Mr Petrov is one of our potential clients, it's great working with him." His father tells him, "And this is my son, Victor. He's finally joined my company months ago." Victor feels weird hearing the pride in his father's voice introducing him that, it's almost laughable.

"Pleasure to meet you, young Mr Nikiforov." He smiles smugly, still holding Victor's hand firmly, his thumb rubbing over the softness of his skin.

"The pleasure is mine." Victor replies passively, making an effort to pull his hand from the greedy grasp. Thankfully the man takes the sign and lets go of it. 

"If you have the time, join us for lunch today." Dimitri offers casually. 

The man looks at him apologetically before glancing again at Victor. "I would love to," Victor won't have lunch today. "but unfortunately I have a flight to catch. And I'm out of time. Maybe some other day." Okay, Victor will have lunch today.

"Too bad. Anyway, I wish you a safe flight. Where are you heading to?" 

"Thank you, and it's to London, got some business to finish there." London? Victor gulps.

"How coincidental! Victor is going there tonight as well." Victor gives him a look, really papa?

The man's face lights up, "That's great. Maybe if we have time we can catch up there." 

"Maybe." Victor answers dryly. 

"Now excuse me to leave." 

"Of course, please Victor, show him the way out." Why? Victor wanted to ask.

Victor's discomfort grows overwhelmingly as he walks by the man who is practically eye fucking him with no shame. 

"So where are you staying?" He asks lightly, his hand trying to brush Victor's.

Lie, Victor, lie. "The Grande Royal." Good job, Victor! Can't even lie.

"Oh, how wonderful. That's where I'm staying too. The fates have been generous to me." The obnoxious guy smirks confidently.

Victor hurries to correct his mistake so ungracefully, "I''ll probably change hotels though." Smooth, Nikiforov, really!

But the guy doesn't show signs of giving up. "Anyway," He slips his hand inside his blazer, pulling out a creamy white card. "this is my business card. I would love to hear from you, and I don't know how much this information will be relevant to you, but tomorrow is my birthday. it will be nice to not spend it alone." 

Victor takes the card, and gives him a cold smile. "Happy birthday." 

"Thank you." God his smile is just wolfish! "By the way, I think I recognize your face from before."

His heart sinks down his leg. "It's a small world. Maybe we met before."

He bites his lip knowingly, nodding. "I think I've seen your photos before."

"Well, I used to be a model if this rings any bells." It better be modelling photos.

"I think it was something that has to do with...the famous Yuutopia Katsuki group." Oh, of course those photos. 

Victor feels his heart stopping completely, but he doesn't blink, quirking his lips in a dead smile. "I used to see one of them." This is going to chase him forever. Of course, the man dying to get in his pants knows it all about his photos, about being some rich man's lovely toy, as people usually view him. 

"Well he was lucky. Goodbye, Mr Nikiforov." Mr Petrov flashes one last smirk, then he leaves, with Victor's eyes following his figure with much resentment.

He stares at the card in his hand for relatively too long, not sure how to feel. He knows too well that people aware of his past see him as a pleasurable toy, that man isn't much different. His intentions are too clear, giving him his card, mentioning to him that it's his "birthday", bringing up past scandalous photos unnecessarily... All this have clear implications, rather predictable for anyone lusting after him with the knowledge of his past. 

Victor doesn't know why he shoves the card into his pocket instead of tearing it to pieces. Maybe sporting breaking hearts as a new hobby? Victor smiles in humor and shakes his head. 

**********

However,it's definitely weird how the whole world seems to conspire against him to remind him of every little bit of his heart wrenching tragedy. First remembering Otabek, then the man mentioning the photos, and now this list he's scrolling through among his morning view of the news on his phone, the list of the most influential women in the international business scene this year. 

This list, of course, has to include a prominent Katsuki member. Victor gazes intensely at the photo of Mari Katsuki, who's gazing back with dead eyes. It's just fascinating how Yuuri can be her brother. Even in his most serious and professional looks, there's still an undeniable softness in his eyes, something human in them. Which is the complete opposite of his older sister who's restricting the minimum of human emotion.

Of course the article is stating many impressive facts about her, her achievements and her status. Mari Katsuki is a top of her game, and you can never underestimate her bright mind, sharpness, and her endless ambitions.

Victor met Mari Katsuki only once in his life. And it was particularly forever memorable, the sort of meetings that is regarded life changing, like a meeting with Lucifer or something. It was the fuel to push Victor to his final decision of breaking up with Yuuri. 

And before meeting her, he had heard her voice first, on the same day when all went downhills.

When Victor had given Otabek his two cents on love and relationships encouraging him with his pep talks, he found that no point of spending more time at the cafe, and it would be better to go home to fall asleep wishing not to wake up again. 

Home was empty, knowing that Yuuri would be late for work, not even having dinner with him. He laid in bed, folded upon himself, silently crying, he heard noise outside the room. He supposed it was Yuuri. So he picked up his broken pieces off the bed to go run to him.

And just before he stepped to the living area, he overheard two voices, Yuuri's and someone else...a woman. They seemed arguing, Yuuri was talking in Japanese and she was talking in English. Victor observed closely, still hiding, and the woman looked familiar. Then he recognized her, Mari, Yuuri's sister!

"Where's he? Your pretty model I mean." Victor gasped, they were talking about him. She knew about him! 

"Do you have any idea how hard I work to keep your parents in the dark from your shameful affair?" Shameful affair. His relationship with Victor was shameful. 

"I have no idea what happened to you Yuuri. You used to be so wise and mature, how could you be this reckless? Do you have any idea how this will ruin your reputation? I don't know what's wrong with but we need to fix this."

It was true, every word was true. And Yuuri's bold statement, "I don't give a fuck." didn't really comfort him. His shy defence of his relationship couldn't really make Victor feel better. Because every angry word blurted by Mari hit the damn sore spot, squeezed agonizing pain like a twisted knife in his chest. 

He was a disgrace to Yuuri's image, ruining his reputation, making him like a teenager chasing a playboy, a leech sucking his money, like his father had once called him. 

It all ended up with Yuuri leaving first and Mari shouting at top of her lung, "You're getting married to this woman Yuuri. Be sure about that! And you'll be the one who will ask for it after getting dumped by your pretty bitch."

Victor broke down, he sobbed and sobbed, collapsing on the floor, curling upon himself like a uterine fetus. 

And the last thing remembered about that cursed night was Victor drinking alcohol unreasonably, and going off to wherever Yuuri was. 

So, when Victor woke up the next morning dead tired with a horrible hangover and laying naked in bed by himself, he didn't register any of what had happened the night before, what bullshit he blurted out a d embarrassed hiself what decisions he made to regret later about.

But when he opened his phone and saw the crazy stream of notifications, referring him to various news outlets and gossip sites, photos and photos and photos, he didn't understand any of it. It was too hard to fully absorb, to take a grasp of what disaster he was seeing. He was still in half state of unconsciousness, with faint remnants of his sanity, but he lost it all when he realized what everything meant.

After he had called Yuuri crying and sobbing, speaking incoherently with unclear words of regret and denial, he went in an utter state of numbness, anesthetized, paralyzed, apathetic even. The only thought looping in his mind in never ending circles was that he destroyed the person he loves the most with every possible way imaginable. A series of successive failures and disappointments, Victor was nothing worthy of Yuuri. 

And the more Yuuri showed him kindness and attempted to console and reassure him, the more parts of Victor's soul died and shredded to pieces. If he had an ability to feel back then, he would have hated Yuuri for being this selfless and kind and patient to someone like him. It was a known fact to him that Yuuri loved him back, more than he could even imagine, more than his rotting soul could contain. But Victor deserved none of it, not a moment of Yuuri's time, not a single gentle look from his bigger than the world eyes, not all his desperate trials to resuscitate his agonizing heart back to life.

The pain, the pain and rage burning him were the only emotions he could experience, were exactly what he deserved. Yuuri's pleads and begging were in vain, Victor had already made his decision. He had to vanish from Yuuri's life, might his disappearance would fix anything for the man he adored to death.

One day, Victor was spacing out, lost on his own world. When he received a call. From Mari Katsuki. She wanted to meet him.

They met. At a neutral bar, where Mari was waiting for him in all her dominant glory and powerful presence. She made his knees shake in fear. She dressed sharply, her strong perfume intoxicating the air. Everything about her was a big deal...an exaggeration of a statement. And he was almost expecting every single word said 

"I can give you money. Lots of it actually, I don't mind. And I don't blame you if you need it, you are relying on Yuuri to support you. And you look like you won't have another income, especially with terminating the contract with our fashion house." 

"I...only need some time. And I promise, I'll be out of his life completely." 

She gazed at him in cautious suspicion. "You sure you don't want money?"

Perhaps it was pointless to argue or explain, she wasn't going to listen or care anyway, but Victor had to explain. He had to defend the honor of his honest love to Yuuri, to make her see. 

"You have to understand that it isn't just about money. Yuuri and I share something special. You probably don't believe me, but I had to get it off my chest."

She lit a cigarette, pausing to take a deep inhale and exhaling a depressing cloud of grey. "Who told you I don't believe? I believe you. I believe that my brother is still naive to fall for you. I've always seen that his worst flaw is his soft heart. But think about it, Victor..."

Her words surely surprised him. Taking another drag from her cig, she continued, "What can you give him to improve his life? Is he happy with you? Maybe. But is he still happy right now, after the scandal you caused him? Will he be happy if he lose the job he has dedicated his life to...the only thing he is good at?" 

Victor shook his head, he knew.

"See, even you understand. I know that your feelings for him are real, don't you want the best for him? And what's the best for him? A successful career, a proud place among his family, a proper partner he could be proud of, a bright baby of his own, having his name, carrying his legacy. Doesn't Yuuri deserve that?" 

A baby?! Hell he could never even give him that. He didn't want to cry in front of her, but he had no authority on his tears, no. 

"You're a good man, I can tell. And you're not going to deprive him from that. Maybe it will be painful, but time heals everything."

Her words sank in, too rational and calculated, but also thoughtful and logical. He wanted the best for him.

 

The following days passed in vague blur, everything was meaningless, tasteless, life simply didn't worth living. And in the hazy blur of his life, Victor made several senseless decisions, including fleeting with no reason to Los Angeles after absentmindedly calling JJ to inform him that he might want to spend some time with him, which JJ of course welcomed at once. The weird thing about this period was that Victor wasn't oriented to his surroundings, trapped inside his head, in a lost war against himself. JJ must had thought he was boring and depressing as hell, because who would fly to a pretty place like LA and spend 80% of his time imprisoned inside the hotel room? Right, a depressed person. 

The few times he agreed to go out, he hardly talked or interacted, going out only with the purpose of being seen with JJ, he knew how the paparazzi were following him obsessively. Yes, he sadistically wanted Yuuri to see other photos of him in gossiping tabloids, he wanted him how much of a mess he had become, how useless and valueless he was, he wanted Yuuri to be totally repulsed by him. Giving signs suggesting that he was openly cheating on him, he was a trash, didn't seem like a bad idea. He could pretend it without having to interact with JJ himself.

However, he could only interact with him and the others of his social circle only under the influence of alcohol, yeah Victor could do stuff human while he was drunk. Like mourning his lost love, his failures and worthlessness, cursing his like and misfortune, and crying like a baby. And surprisingly, JJ listened to him in shock, understanding the hell of mess that was Victor's life, and his infatuation turned into a pure sympathy, providing comfort and platonic company to Victor. 

"Victor, you're too hard on yourself." JJ had told him one night. To think that JJ was acting like a psychological therapist, giving him unconditional support is the funniest plot twist in all means of dark humor. "You're degrading yourself so unfairly when I think you are really great, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks this."

"Yeah yeah..." Victor replied in nonchalance. 

"No, listen to me. You don't deserve any of this. We all screw up. It's okay if you still haven't figured out what to today in life. It takes some people years, and you needn't feel bad about it. You should get away from things that are giving you anxiety and self esteem issues, to get away from any person making you feel bad, even if you love them. Your mental health is more important Victor. Give yourself a break, stay away from what's pressuring you. Trust me, it's the right decision!"

Stay away from Yuuri and stop ruining his life, that was how Victor heard him. He didn't believe JJ could come up with good advice. 

"Thank you JJ, I'm sorry I ruined your vacation, I've been ruining everyone's life apparently."

 

Victor told Yuuri they should stop being with each other, and the world ended. He had no idea how he had gathered the courage to end his life with his own hand, to stab his own chest and eviscerate his own heart to cut it to pieces. But it was okay to do it all for Yuuri.

Stupid Yuuri, who refused to let him go, who didn't know what was good for him. Yuuri who was addicted to the harmful drug that was Victor. And he was obliged go help him quick. No matter how bad the withdrawal symptoms were, they weren't worse than being with Victor. 

Victor lied, a lot. He lied he was doing that for himself, because it was the only way Yuuri could let him go. Because Yuuri wouldn't hate him, wouldn't believe him if he said he was off to some other man like JJ, or that he was bored with their relationship, that it was no longer fun. No Yuuri wouldn't fall for that, but he would definitely believe how damaging their relationship was to Victor. And Yuuri truly loved Victor, and he wouldn't let him hurt because of him. He would prioritize Victor than his own life and career. Victor had to play on that part. 

And god only knows that Victor didn't give the slightest damn about himself, and he was doing it all for Yuuri's best solely. It was true that their relationship was damaging Victor, bringing him down over and over, but he wouldn't mind destroying himself if it was for the good of Yuuri. Victor was willing to be a slave at Yuuri's feet if it was the best for his lover. But no, the best for Yuuri was to stay away from him.

It was the first time Yuuri said he loved him, gave him an explicit confession. But Victor had to to pretend to be offended, although they had been the words his world were revolving around.

Yuuri begged him to stay, he was a fool. 

"And how can I love you when I can't even love my self, Yuuri?" Victor lied about that too, because he didn't need to love himself to love Yuuri, no room in his heart for more than Yuuri's love. But simply, they weren't meant for each other.

It ended ugly. So much worse than he had planned to. He had hoped it could end with a best wish for a better life, or a shared promise not to forget each other, but it ended Yuuri not forgiving him. 

The echo of his broken voice shouting, "I'm not forgiving you Victor! I will always love you but I won't forgive you!" It killed him uncountable times, each death more painful than the other.

But it was a mystery to him, he couldn't understand when Yuuri said, "I'm madder because I wasn't even the one who invaded your life, demanding all the attention from you, and forcing you to fall mercilessly in love with me. Because it was all you from the start... You don't remember it, and you'll never do, but you are the one who made me look at you, stare at you, and dance with you. You made me love you like this! And I'm not forgiving you..."

Because it was all Yuuri who had claimed him his first, it was him who had captured his heart at that party, staring intently at him, and had saved him from an unwanted man, and had asked him to be his baby boy. It didn't make sense, no. Yuuri initiated it all. How was it Victor who demanded the attention?

Anyway, Victor left. He didn't go to another man, not to JJ. He ran back to St Petersburg, landing his feet on its ground with no idea what would happen next. Death seemed the best option then... 

 

A weird day for all this influx of memories. Victor shakes his head, and goes back to work.

***********

"When you asked for a vacation and said you wanted to visit London, I didn't ask for more information. But I have to make sure you're not going to get lonely there. Are you meeting friends?" Dimitri asks with interest, a real concern, not just a small talk to pass the time. The sentiment fills Victor with fondness, the improvement of his relationship with his father sometimes stuns him. 

"Yes, I won't be alone. Also even if I'm alone, it's still safe, I'm past that, you don't have to worry." Victor smiles. 

His father nods in satisfaction and keeps eating. "You still have friends, right? I thought you lost most of them."

"I did. I keep losing friends and making new ones. You know how sociable your son is." Victor chuckles.

But his father isn't too convinced. "I know that many things about you changed. And to be honest, not all these changes please me." 

"I think my many friendship and open relationships with the others were something you heavily disliked about me." 

"No, I only disliked the people who you surrounded yourself with. And I was right, wasn't I? Look where all of them went when..." when he kicked him out, he doesn't finish. Victor knows his father, he isn't blaming him for the past, or he isn't giving him the 'I'm always right' attitude, it's just a statement coming from good intentions, that he wants him to have proper friends, and he's right.

"Yes, yes you were. All of them played dumb when I needed them. It's real that hardships expose people. But I had one friend who helped me here though." Victor smiles when he remembers him.

"The Popovich boy I know, I've always liked him. Do you know that he tried to talk to me into taking you in again when you were crashing at his house? A good guy." 

"Yes Georgi is kind, and he was there for me."

"Do you see him?"

Victor nods, "We are still in touch. I met up with him a week ago. He has changed a lot too. He's actually studying now, said he was inspired by my story two years ago and he decided to do something productive with his life, fearing he would meet my same fate." Victor chuckles to himself, at least someone learned from his own mistakes. 

Dimitri gives a tight smile, but it's easy to recognize the guilt on his face, he's been too wary around his son, treating him with much delicacy his tough nature can afford. Victor knows, ever since that day at the hospital, his father has been regretting all he had done to him three years ago. 

"That's good for him. That's the company I would love to see you with, good friends." 

Victor could empathize with his father long ago, he doesn't remember when exactly. But he is sure of one thing, his father hurt him a lot out of love. And Victor is too knowledgeable about hurt out of love, he's an expert in it. He didn't even forgive his father, because he wasn't mad of him when they reunited.

"Victor, I know I've been evading this for too long. We only talked about what happened few times...when we met at the hospital and shortly after. And I feel like..." He sighs, lost for words. "I feel like I still owe you an explanation, an apology, but the problem is... I'm never good with words."

When Victor hears his excuse, his eyes widen too comically, then he laughs...he laughs hard and wholeheartedly. His father looks alarmed, feeling like he's mocking him with a sarcastic laugh. He doesn't understand that Victor is laughing because he has just realized that the love of his life is just a younger version of his own father. The idea isn't virgin to his mind, he used to think about it a lot, spotting the similarities between them. He laughs until he tears up. 

"Was what I said too funny?" His father asks, offended. 

Victor barely controls his hysterical laughter, taking few deep breathes to calm down. "No no it's not about you. It just reminded me of something... God I do have daddy issues for real." The last sentence is muttered more to himself. 

"What is it?" 

"It's...nothing. Papa, I know that. I know that it's hard for you to express, and I know you're feeling uneasy about me. But you don't have to be guilty, I'm alive, I'm healthy, I'm striving and doing my best. I'm actually at the best state of my life, even if I look a bit gloomy or down. My life is at balance now, relatively peaceful, I have few anxieties yes, but I'm survive. The past is past, don't whip yourself for it." 

"Vitya, I'm not saying that to clear my conscience. I genuinely want you to be fine." 

"I'm fine, I promise." Victor says softly, patting his father's shoulder. 

"And what about...him?" 

Victor gets who's him. He simply smiles. "It's fine papa, don't worry please." 

"Okay, I'll trust your judgement. Now finish your dinner so we can go home to get your luggage. Packed everything?"

"Yes, I did last night. It's all ready..."

They resume eating in a comfortable silence, disrupted by the clatter for food utensils on the plates and the surrounding chatter of the restaurant diners. 

"I've been meaning to ask for the past months... Don't you think that your hair is kind of...too much? A little unprofessional?"

Victor involuntarily touches his ponytail in a protective manner. "My hair?" His voice turns sadder than he intended it to be.

"Of course you are free to keep it like this. I mean it's still pretty, but it reminds me of your teenage years, giving you that boyish or rather girlish charm. Not totally suitable for an adult if I'm allowed to say." 

Victor purses his lips as he brushes the long strands pouring down from his head. He has grown an unusual attachment to it, even touching it provides him with a strange sense of comfort and security. 

"But it has a deeper meaning to it, more than the aesthetics." Victor explains in way seeming too childish, but pure. "It means I'm committed, dedicated... It's a hard work to maintain it, and I'm willing to care. It's not easy to lose, not easy to replace." 

And Yuuri loved...loves it. 

His father gazes at him in a surprise, taken back by his interpretation. "That's a rather interesting perspective... I think I'm even convinced." He replies, amused. 

Victor grins in satisfaction. However, this doesn't mean it ends here, his father still insists it's not professional, especially when he catches many people distracted by it, because he admits that his only son is a sight to admire and muse about. And his disagreement doesn't even bother Victor. On the contrary, it intrigues him, and lures him to openly disagree with his father, to discuss and argue. 

And that's the thing... In his near twenty four years of his life, he is talking to his father. Heart from heart talk, a peaceful normal conversation. A disagreement even, without conflict. He's talking to his father like its the easiest thing in the world.

Maybe one major perk, among many others, of his romantic tragedy is that he's finally not a disappointment to his father, is that he earned a father. And it feels good to have a close one. Sure their relationship is still very fragile, threatened with breaks and cracks at any given time, years of resentment and rejection won't resolve in few months. But it's there, their relationship exists. And it has a room to grow stronger, to solidify until it's unbreakable. 

And it's all thanks to that day when Victor fell off the world. 

 

Coming back to Russia with no one for him, Victor was lost and confused. Along his pain due to broken heart and the killing loneliness, he had no idea what to do or where to go. His mind went blank when he tried to think of an aid, a hand of help from a dear person. Because losing Yuuri meant losing everyone.

Lost in his own little world, frozen in a death simulating state, Victor spent the earliest days back in St Petersburg at a modest hotel room, too small with an irrational feeling that its four walls were to crush him at any moment. He withdrew from the outer world, not a single word said to any other human, just tucked in the bed, body curled smaller, nothing was happening. 

Until one day he opened his eyes to the sight of his mother crying. 

What Victor could collect about his case based on his own weak memory, that he was at his hotel room for several days, he didn't recall performing any of the basic biological processes required for survival other than breathing and sleeping.

And waking up at a hospital meant it hadn't ended so well. His mother rushed to hug him seeing him awake, and what he gathered from her was that he deprived himself from food, fainted due to starvation and dehydration, and when he remained inside his room for too long, the hotel staff were concerned and they checked on him. They found him passed out, called the ambulance and moved him to the hospital, and there they contacted his parents.

Victor wanted to defend himself against her scolding, wanted to tell her he wasn't starving himself to death, he wanted to say he simply didn't feel hungry, probably forgot to eat. He wanted... But he couldn't bring himself to say a word, he simply stayed silent. 

When Victor tries to recall those days, they seem so far away like an incomplete dream, when you wake up before you finish them, and you can't remember the details. He isn't sure if it's a blessing to forget this much about these days, but he doesn't mind it. Because they weren't just painful, he wasn't grieving, he felt nothing. Like falling into an infinite bottomless hole without stopping, hitting the ground with your bones shattering would make it feel real. 

Victor just remembers about these days the hurt and regret in his father eyes, be can't remember his mother's eyes, she was always crying. He also remembers his father repeating his apologies like prayers. He hugged him, he patted his back, his father even cried once, and this is the clearest most vibrant memory. He remembers how the light reflected on the profuse tearfall, his low pitched whimpers, how he trembled, every minute detail about him.

His parents realized that they were losing their only son, if they hadn't already lost him. 

 

Taking him in back at their house, Dimitri and Alina swore with their life they would do anything to save their son. And the first step was psychiatric assessment, which unsurprisingly revealed a diagnosis with acute depression. The reasons were obvious even to his parents, Victor didn't say much and he didn't need to. And an immediate therapy plan was present.

Luckily, despite his case, Victor was cooperative, he was trying to pull himself out of his own darkness. He took his medication regularly, with an undeniable measure of negative thoughts regarding it, including cessation thoughts to suicidal ones. He attended his psychotherapy sessions with a lovely therapist, called Dr Lilia Baranovskaya, although he still insisted on keeping some details and thoughts to himself. He was spending much time with his mother who pampered him like a child, he felt ten all over again, which was nice...safe. Working out, listening to music, reading about positivity, and even watching non triggering cheesy soap operas with his mother, he was trying.

Victor wanted to get better. Only thanks to another unhealthy drive, his guilt.

His therapist once faced him with that. Victor was trying to improve in order to not live on as a burden to his family. From his perspective, he fucked up endless times, and he even had the audacity to continue to do so, making his family concerned about him, guilty about him, wasting their time, and disappointing them more and more and more. A parasite as his father had called him before. On days when he felt drained, unable to leave his bed, no will to improve or survive, he would feel even more guilty, unworthy for their care and sympathy. He as a heavy stone tied to their legs, disabling them from moving, and they were forced to drag him along. 

"Which is a pointless viscous circle, no where to start and no where to end. Some days you push yourself too far, it's all for them, but you'll still feel it's not enough. And put yourself under more cruel pressure, you'll punish yourself, and still feel bad about punishing yourself because you're hindering your progress. You're still a heavy burden to them, and you're still costing them much. So the one step forward is followed by ten backwards. Is this right, Victor?" 

Hesitantly, he nodded.

"Victor, you don't think you deserve to get better? To get a second chance to fix all what went wrong? To love yourself?" 

"I... I don't know."

"Do you trust me as your therapist?"

"Yes." Without second thoughts.

"Then trust me when I say this, you deserve to give yourself a second chance, to do things for yourself. You're getting treated if only you're willing to do it for yourself. You want to make it up for your parents, then start with accepting yourself. What they are doing to you isn't out of sympathy, it's something called unconditional love. They're your parents, they want only the best for you. You're not failing them if you want to get better for yourself first, it's actually what they're aiming to...to love yourself."

Dr Lilia paused, giving time for her words to sink in him. She continued, "They made terrible decisions regarding you, they caused you much harm too. They failed you as much as you failed them. And the key here is forgiveness, they forgive you, forgive them too, and most importantly, forgive yourself. You're not a burden to them, it's okay to rely on your family and seek their help. Let them help you."

He wondered, would Yuuri ever forgive him? He had swore not to forgive him, and Yuuri's words were always valuable...significant. It was hard to imagine even forgiving himself for hurting his only love. But it won't matter, he didn't deserve his forgiveness anyway. And while that contradicted the core of his treatment, he thought it didn't matter, as long as Yuuri got over him and lived well without him, hopefully. He would believe that as a coping mechanism, that Yuuri was better without him, and his hurt was temporary.

Anyway, that was only one step of many steps to get over the 'I ruined the lives of everyone I love' guilt. And god knows it was just a start. Victor had enormous issues, still has. But at least he started to believe in himself, he started to do it for himself.

And finally the therapy was being fruitful. Things began to feel better, bearable. And on days when he failed, he didn't blame himself for his parents at least. And they were actually working as a healthy support system, their connection had been improving even without resolving all their past issues.

 

During one of his "bonding" sessions at their house garden, as they were getting accustomed to spend a minimum time together per day, Dimitri suddenly spoke..

"I know I haven't been commenting much about your progress, but you know I've been following closely and I have to admit... I'm proud of you Victor." 

Victor gaped at him with eyes popped out of their orbits, staring at him in utter disbelief. He thought he was hallucinating at first, but then his mind processed the words, and they only filled him with bitter sadness. He was pathetic. His father was basically praising him for...surviving. As if it was an achievement to wake up in the morning and go about his day, functioning normally. It was the first time his father had ever told him he was proud of him, and it was incredibly underwhelming. 

He sighed, thinking about how to reply to that. Smiling sadly, he answered, "You've certainly lowered your standards very much." 

"Victor..." Dimitri held his hand, he had never heard his father sounding that compassionate, nor seen him that vulnerable. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"I'm not made of glass." Victor snapped, his voice getting louder than he had intended to. He sounded mad, he felt his eyebrow knitted in an ugly furrow, he was mad. 

Victor looked up his father in a silent apology, the soft demeanor of the elder man never changing. "No, you absolutely are not. You've proven to be stronger than I thought. You've struggled a lot on your own, and you broke down, but you're able to strive again. Why are you underestimating what you've been through, Vitya?"

"I...I just wanted to make you proud for something greater." 

"And what's greater than my son well and healthy?" 

The question moved something in his chest, made his heart beat faster, because it sounded so genuine. "Your son working, independent, respectable, worthy of your pride." 

"But all these things can come later, can't they? And I have faith you'll be all that, and even without them...you're still worthy, Vitenka! It was all my fault, my fault and I'm not forgiving myself for it."

"Papa, it's not your fault that..." He couldn't finish. What was exactly the fault? And who was to blame?

"No...no it was. It was totally mine. I was cruel, ruthless, impatient, I didn't even give you a chance. I pushed you so hard when you weren't ready, and I ridiculed you when you tried. The way we raised you and your lifestyle...that was completely our fault. it was just natural for you to grow carefree and irresponsible, we didn't do well at preparing you for the future. But then I made you face the consequences of my own actions, and you were barely an adult, having the delusion you would magically get fixed if you underwent tough circumstances like I did." 

The sorrow and regret on his face were kind of...satisfying to Victor, they were making him hate himself less."

"And when you acted wisely, and went to do something you were qualified to do like modeling I became even harder on you. Because I was too narrow minded to appreciate your efforts. In my eye, it was better to be a street seller than do what you were doing. Then I knew about you getting involved with..." He hesitated to finish.

But Victor continued, "You thought I was whoring myself for money to rich men. Mama also thought that, was actually depending on that. And it was true. He offered me money for his company, and I wish it was all just that. But we were fool to keep it that way, we fell for each other, it was bad. It was so good and so bad. He is perfect, Papa, he deserves the whole world, but he was too sad...always sad. And I tried...so hard, I tried so hard to be enough for him. And I just want him to be happy Papa..."

Victor broke in tears, words muffled by his soaring crying, and he found his father's arms open wide for him, he threw himself whimpering at his embrace. It had been a whole since he last cried that hard, maybe since the day he left. It was painful but it felt good, to gush the hot scalding tears in the loving embrace of his father. Felt like Yuuri. 

Dimitri continued to rub his back and sooth him, he was repeating "it's okay, it's okay...' pressing kisses on his forehead, it made him cry harder. 

After a good measure of minutes, the sobbing finally stopped, continued with two thin threads of tears on his face. Victor felt cleansed, he dried his face, liberating himself from his father's hold. 

"Do you feel better now?" That man was a whole other man to Victor's eyes, he liked that version more.

He nodded enthusiastically, a shining smile breaking through the tears. Dimitri ran his hand on his hair, he missed the sensation. 

"Papachka, I want to do something for real to make you proud... I want to have a job."

The father was taken back by the sudden request, drawing his lips into a small smile. At that moment Victor seemed adorable to him, like an excited child asking for something. "But I don't think you're ready for this yet, Vitenka. Shouldn't you wait for a little bit?"

"Actually it could help me, to get distracted by something, getting my mind working for something other than fighting myself. But I still don't know what i can do. My experiences are limited and my qualifications are modest... Maybe you can help me figure it out." 

His charming shyness brought to Dimitri a sweet sense of deja vu, as if he's seeing him during his bright childhood. 

"Hmm... I have a suggestion, you know all I've been working for is you, everything will end up yours. And my biggest concerns have always been when I die or lose my health to senility, what will happen to my business. It's a shame to to lose it, the company, the stocks, the real estate, the wealth...everything. And I've had that fantasy that maybe...maybe... you can run all that someday."

"Oh you're gonna make me the CEO and chairman of your company? Thank you papachka, that's a lot." Victor said cheerfully, managing to steal a chuckle from his amused father.

"Someday, this will happen. Until that day, you need to learn, right? How about starting a small job at my company, so you can observe and learn?" 

"But...but will I be able to do that? what if I can't?"

"Then we'll find something else! Something that will suit your abilities and skills, which you'll naturally gain and learn. The company has many departments, and at each one you'll learn something. Even if everything didn't come to your liking, there's always something for everyone, we can't run out of all the options." 

"Yes but... is it fair... that I will get a job others might deserve it more than me? I don't even a higher education degree."

"No. You will be an intern just like anyone newly employed, and based on your performance and progress you'll get what you deserve. And about the college degree I myself started up without a degree, and started studying it when my startup became stable. You won't expect any preferential treatment, okay maybe you will for a little, the hell you are my son and I'm the chairman and the major stock holder. But it won't be unfair, your promotion process as I said will be based on your performance, and no one is gonna lose their opportunity for you."

Victor smiled. And he hugged his dear Papashka. It was just the beginning, but it was a great one.

And to fit in the office environment as a white collar employee was a challenge. Victor often felt stressed, feared being an outcast, felt paranoid that the other were watching him, pointing at him the CEO's sick in the head son getting an internship with no qualifications, dumb and dependant. But that all was just his anxiety working up, and in fact, his new "colleagues" were immediately charmed by him. They were pretty nice to him, because they genuinely liked him, even in his calm post depressive state, and they often overlooked the fact that he had connections, or he was basically their future boss someday, which was comfortable. 

Sitting on a simple disc at a cubicle by the others, he received calls, sent emails, arranged schedules, he was a simple office assistant. Boring but easy, and surprisingly he found his joy in it. Three months he did well enough to be deemed as a real employee. And maybe things were a bit easier for him, but his father preferred to go easy on him, he was still very liable to relapses and break downs. He was trying to make the job as appealing as possible, and Victor actually did well!

Then because his father was actually rushing seeing him close to his position, he moved him to be his personal assistant after a promotion to his own, and now Victor's job is very similar to Yuri Plisetsky's, but with less missions. And Victor is still doing well that when he asked for a short vacation his father agreed at once. So he now has a job, communicating with his parents, feeling slightly better about himself, and living. Crazy how things can turn upside down in just a year or less.

***********

Victor gives one last check on everything while he waits for the care picking him up to the airport. His stat won't last for many days, he's relatively traveling light., so not much can be forgotten. Okay he might forget his passport or the ticket but at least his mother is with him to save him from his withering memory and declining attention span. He notices as he zips his suitcase her eyes hanging on his form, looks lingering too much as if she's mind-capturing pictures of him. It's not the first time for him to travel by himself since he's come back to the house, and each time she's equally overprotective, clingy to him, with a hint of anxiety flashing in her eyes. 

He knows he's been nuisance to her ever since she got the call from the ER informing her that her son is hospitalized. And while she's always been expert at spoiling and indulging him in his own pleasures, now she's been constantly fretted and stressed about him and his well being. It's the way she reacts to her sense of responsibility to all what happened to him when she realized she accidentally led him to this. 

"Your father and I have known each other and fallen in love since we were teenagers, we were mutually poor, our struggles were common, we've worked several jobs just to get through the day, we had spent nights without dinner, Vitya. And when our economic situation had started to become better and we had decided to get married and start a family, we kept waiting to have a child, years of waiting, including two miscarriages, and then you came... Of course I had to give you everything Victor, everything!"

That was her defense, when it was her turn to admit her mistake, to take her fair share of the responsibility, the mission of fixing her son.

"I didn't want you to see a single bad moment of the life we had before you. I wanted to give you the world. You were too precious to me, too delicate, I didn't want you to exert the smallest effort, to suffer the minimum. When your father wanted to do something with your life, I fought him, I refused to let him do that. I has a strong belief that you were born to be only given, served, and obeyed. I wasn't aware I was disabling you...depriving you from your chances. I'm sorry Vitya, I'm so sorry... I tried to be a good mother, but I wasn't..."

It was another typical night of many filled with tears of regret and remorse. It was a tougher one for Victor, though.

Despite realizing her flawed ways, she still can't inhibit herself from loving Victor a little too much, passing it off as mental support and a moderate motherly care. It's fine to baby him as long as she doesn't impair his progress, but it's still a thorn in his throat that she's still viewing him vulnerable as an individual, even subconsciously, which needs to be reformed in her mind. But step by step, and she'll accept her son as an independent adult. 

"I hate it when you travel for few days. I always miss you terribly." 

Makkachin bouncing and hopping at his feet, dancing for his attention, Victor crouches down to his pet, ruffling his fur affectionately, he smiles to his mother. "You've spent years without me." He reasons.

"Yeah and they sucked. The house was horrible without it, looked more like a ghost house." 

Victor chuckles, still rubbing and scratching under his poodle's ears. "But this time the house won't be for ghosts, because Makkachin will chase them away... Right Makka? Isn't it right? Won't you protect Mamochka from the bad ghosts Makka? Because who's the good boy? Correct you're the good boy." He coos at his pet, air smooching him loudly, making his mama giggle.

Then Victor looks up to her, "Makkachin will keep you company at my absence, you'll barely feel I'm not here. Actually his existence is more appreciated here." 

"That's true. I've grown too used to his company I'm starting to love him more than you."

"Can I blame you though? How can I be mad when I mks this is the best boy and he deserves every bit of it?" Victor blows him more kisses.

At this moment, the butler appears, announcing the arrival of the car taking him to the airport. 

Victor pays his goodbyes to his parents and poodle and takes his leave.

Waiting for his flight, he receives a text from his mother, wishing him a safe flight. He grins widely as he sees the attached image of her with Makkachin, raising his paw in a waving motion. The best boy!

Having Makkachin back is defiantly one of the best things that happened during the past period, turning him into a sort of emotional support pet, which contributed to Victor's advance. Not just because Makkachin is his beloved dog, but also because it sparkled something of hope inside him. After all, he hasn't lost Makkachin completely as he had believed to

Because Victor was too busy getting his heart broken, he had to abandon Makka with Yuuri. And the following months after he had started getting back to himself, he missed him terribly, not that he didn't terribly miss Yuuri as well. But from the beginning, Makkachin was gifted to him by Yuuri, and just like anything came from his side, Victor had to leave it. It was probably part of the punishment of undeserving Yuuri's love.

Growing up, Victor had a precious poodle too, he was crazy about dogs, still, and losing him was too painful that he decided not to get another one, unable to emotionally afford another loss. Until Yuuri, a dog person himself, gifted him with Makkachin, since he apparently had been Victor's sugar daddy whose duty was to please him with gifts. Victor still doesn't know if his love to Makkachin is this immense because he generally loves dogs, or because it's bound to his love for Yuuri.

So it was a blessed day when Victor was sitting by himself at the garden, practicing his developed hobby of overthinking and having an existential crisis wondering what was the point of his life, and then suddenly he heard a familiar sound reviving his soul that he thought it was just an auditory hallucination. But the well recognised barking was too real.

"Makkachin!" Victor muttered as he stood on his feet, watching in disbelief, his brown furry companion leaping at his direction, until they both landed on the grass and hit the reality. 

"Vitya, your friend is here to see you!" He missed his mother's announcement as he was too distracted by the heated reunion, laughing hysterically as he was getting sloppily licked by his pet. His mind was too caught up in the moment that he didn't even wonder how his poodle had flown from New York to St Petersburg. But Victor had a faith in him that he was the best boy indeed and he came just for him overcoming all the human difficulties. 

Sobering up from the aftershocks, Victor finally noticed the tall handsome blonde, standing with crosses arms watching the passionate meeting in amusement. 

"Chris!" He exclaimed while untangling himself from the enthusiastic pet, and immediately he walked up to him, pulling him in a bone crushing hug.

"I miss you too, Mon Cheri." Chris patted his back warmly. The hug persisted for a little bit longer than reasonable, because Victor needed to be hugged, thoroughly and wholeheartedly. 

Like all of his acquaintances, Chris had been surprised by Victor's sudden disappearance and disconnection. However, it had been predictable as he had been insightful of the hard situation of his friend's love life. And he had even guessed that Victor took his place back in his country, but he couldn't reach him. With Victor's mental recovery he had begun to feel lonely, and he had started to contact Chris again. But that day was the first time to see him in too long.

They exchanged a conversation of their life developments, a little more obscured on Victor's side though. And it was too clear that they were dancing around the important topic they should have been discussing by then. 

Victor scratched the poodle draped over his lap, smiling, then he realized it was time. "So..." He started.

Chris was slick enough to catch his meaning without continuation. "He thought you needed Makkachin more than he did, Makka's yours anyway." 

Victor wasn't satisfied by his explanation, he needed to hear more about Yuuri, to quench his thirst by the mention of him. He had known close to nothing about him for the past months, how he was dealing with their break up, was he grieving him as Victor had been mourning his loss? Did he finally get over him? As much as Victor hoped so, he was still selfish, and he wanted Yuuri to suffer his loss as well. It's cruel of him, but it's his idiotic heart's desire.

Chris took the hint and decided to continue. "He called me casually two weeks ago, and even though we rarely contact, I wasn't too surprised to hear his voice. After all, I'm his exclusive source of your news..."

"He asked about me?" Victor couldn't help but beam up. 

"He pretended to be asking of I were to audition for his company's new line, which I quickly turned down, you know, to get straight to the point. And then he exposed himself, asking if I knew how you were doing, and he was doing a bad job at hiding his longing." Chris smirked when he glimpsed the faint blush on his friend's cheek. 

But then Victor asked, alarmed, "You didn't tell him about...anything, right?" Chris had known too little about Victor post-breakup, but at least he had learnt about his depression, which was the thing Victor wanted to conceal from Yuuri, he didn't want him to know how their separation had impacted his life. 

"I vaguely answered you were doing fine, and I was very cautious about my answers, he sounded relived but still a little unconvinced. Then he asked to meet me..."

"And you met?"

Chris nodded. "We had an awkward small talk at his office, and then he proceeded to ask about you, if I had any idea where had you gone. Told him that you were back safe and sound to your homeland, with your parents. He also inquired if you had a thing with JJ, I swear I saw his eyes turning green at that moment."

Victor snorted, slightly pleased with that piece of information. "And what did you say?"

He shrugged. "I didn't know for real so I told the truth, no idea. Anyway, he asked if I could reach you if he wanted to deliver you something back, I said I knew where you lived. He said he wanted to give you Makkachin back, I agreed at once, thought it was cute to bring him here as a surprise." 

"Did he say anything else?"

"He's just wishing you the best. He didn't say much, bet he was holding himself back."

"And...and how did he look?"

"Calm, kinda peaceful..."

Maybe Victor felt disappointed. "That's a good sign I guess."

"Not really. He had that sadness in his eyes, resembling the one I'm seeing in you now. Oh...he's also asking you to take care of yourself. In conclusion, he's still smitten to madness, too far from being over you."

No, that didn't please him either. He didn't want Yuuri to fixate on his feelings for him, yes that could please his selfishness, but the major part of him that was adoring Yuuri as an abstract idea more than a person, wanted him to get over it, to go on with his life without missing Victor, it was what Yuuri deserved.

"He's getting married soon, you know that, don't you?"

Of course he knew, he had known since Mari had first promised Yuuri to force him into a beneficial marriage, he had known from the news of business world he followed religiously because Yuuri Katsuki was a prominent figure and it was a big marriage. He knew. 

"Yes I know." He replied bitterly. 

"And you're not going to do anything about it?"

"What are you expecting me to do? To crush his wedding and steal him from his bride in front of all the invited people?" He shook his head. 

"Actually that's an excellent idea." Chris looked serious.

"Right." 

"Victor, I hate seeing you both like this. It wasn't supposed to end like that, you both are crazy about each other. And clearly, you can't even get over each other, this is absurd."

"Chris... Chris...don't!" Victor warned him weakly.

He sighed tiredly. "You know he's willing to give up everything for you."

"And why? Why does he have to give up anything? Why does our love has to equal loss?" He sounded whiney and childish.

"No one has everything. That's life, Victor, you can't have everything and it's okay, gotta choose your priorities. Life is unfair, but it's not a newsflash, we know it's unfair. And I think love is encountered once a life, you can't simply give up that."

"Chris, our relationship wasn't healthy, we weren't equivalent to each other, I lost faith in myself, Yuuri deserves better than me. I hurt him too, he won't even forgive me. And he can't lose his job, his family, his wealth, his chance to have a biological child, all that because of me."

"Jesus Christ! And why are you deciding for him? Can't he make his own decision?"

"The reason would agree with me, and Yuuri is a rational person. He would choose wrong if he followed his heart."

"Then what's the point of life if you live miserable?"

After that it was clear that Victor wasn't going to give him the time of his day, not when he was talking about that. He didn't want him to miss up with his mind. Enough was enough. He and Yuuri were over for real. 

"Can't believe I'm losing my chance to bring you together for a second time. This is just too sad." Chris mumbled pathetically, annoyed by his loss. 

But Victor's mind was wondering about something else. "Second time?" He asked, confused.

"Hello! Remember your first meeting at that party? Who took you there?"

"Do you mean...no. No way! You knew Yuuri would be there? And you knew I would instantly be attracted to him?"

"Yuuri was the one who arranged with me to bring you to the party." 

Victor gaped at him in utter shock. What did it mean? "I don't understand. Yuuri...had known about me before we first met?"

Chris rolled his eyes. "He didn't tell you about that? Victor, I was the one who suggested to you to relocate in New York...based on his own request! Your first runway audition in New York was for his company, remember? And I was the one who told you about it."

It didn't make sense! How? How had Yuuri done all that? He had known of his existence before even moving from Russia? What else didn't he know?

"I figured he must had an eye for you or something. I couldn't ask much knowing how private he was. And I thought he was a great catch fire you. But seriously Victor, how didn't you know?"

"He never told me! How did he know about me? Had we ever met before that party? I would definitely remember it of that was the case!"

Suddenly, Yuuri's sorrowful voice rang in his head, saying he was madder...because it had been Victor who had invaded his life, made him fall for him. 

Victor realized, there was a missing part he wasn't aware of. But he shouldn't keep it in his mind, it was of no use anymore. 

Yuuri was getting married soon. And Victor had to accept it. 

 

That was why he found himself calling Yuri Plisetsky, who had received his call with a surprise, but he still was kind to him. He didn't ask for the reason why he called, and he didn't pressure him to admit what was the purpose of that call, he just went with the flow, talking blatantly but carefully about everything that couldn't do any harm. He even thanked him, for being the matchmaker between him and Otabek, it made Victor joyous, at least someone got to be happily in love.

And maybe Yuri was a genius, but he was able to sneak in the conversation some precious information about his boss' wedding.

Victor didn't have any ill intentions when he managed to convince his parents that he had to go to New York for whatever excuse he could make up, or flying for hours to New York to arrive on time of the wedding, the biggest proof was that he landed on time but preferred to hang out for a little longer at the airport arrivals. Victor wasn't intending to show up at Yuuri's wedding and ruin it, he simply wanted to watch him one last time.

No logical explanation to impulsively travel half the world to spend just one sad day watching the love of his life getting handed over to someone else who didn't have the smallest fraction of Victor's immeasurable love to him. Victor was probably a masochist, punishing himself for losing Yuuri, and falling for Yuuri in the first place. But no he didn't have any plans of having him back, he understood too well the concept of not meant for each other. 

It was kind of hard to crush the exclusive outdoor wedding venue, it was a billion dollar wedding (not quite literally). But when Victor made it there and noticed the heavy security, he needed enhancements. He made a phone call. 

"You're kind of late..." Yuri said bitterly though the line.

"I know, I'm not here for more than watching him from afar."

With Yuri's help, he managed to sneak into the wedding, and catch a glimpse of his Yuuri, not his anymore obviously. 

Victor couldn't see anyone else other than him, his eyes were focused only to capture the deadpan face of the groom. Yuuri looked like he was facing his own execution, face devoid of life lacking any human emotion. His was breathtaking, the most handsome groom in the world, the saddest person in the world. Against his will, tears started to roll down Victor's cheeks. Unfair, so unfair... 

Yuuri should have been happy on his wedding day. It should have been Victor next to him. The ring shining around his finger, it should have had his own name engraved on it, because Victor never took off the ring Yuuri had presented to him when they had first met. 

But it was over, he reminded himself. All was over. 

 

***********

It's almost past midnight, Greenwich time, when Victor rides in the taxi taking him to his hotel. It's not his first time in London, but he's still impressed with it. Watching through the classic automobile window the streets twinkling with light and people, uber the thin cover of early snow has been of a great entertainment to him. It's freezing cold and snowing, but it can never beat St Petersburg's early winters in late Novembers. Victor is Russian after all, he knows cold.

During the car ride, he keeps battling the flutter of his eyelids away, too resistant to fall asleep. He's exhausted and he wishes for nothing more than a warm bath and a comfy bed to bury his body in until the end of time. But once he makes it to the hotel and finds himself at the reception area checking in, a sudden surge of energy is injected through his body, causing any sleep to drift away with no return. His limbs regain their power, and his blood sings in excitement. He's finally here.

Victor has come here as a vacation, to reward himself. He deserves a bonus for doing his best, it's what his therapist and parents said. And honestly it's been a while since he took some time for his relaxation and pleasure. He wants to take advantage of every moment, never waste a second even resting to recover from the flight. 

He turns his head around, in hope to catch some interesting face, but as expected he doesn't find someone waiting for him here now. 

"I'm here. Room xxx.  
Waiting for you.  
HBD  
V"

His hands go cold in a sweet nervousness as he types and sends the text. And his body is responding too well to the excitement. Can the minutes pass faster?

 

Victor enters his room, and throws himself on the spacious soft bed. It's too tempting to stay here until the morning and never move. But there are other more tempting things ahead of him, and he has to prepare. 

He fights the temptation of surrendering to the bed and gets up, opens his suitcase and picks up the delicate garments he's been dying to put on his body ever since he bought them. Fucking finally! He heads to the shower, and takes the warm shower he deserves.

Drying his hair and letting the long silvery cascading down his back, he watches himself in the mirror reflecting his full body, ornamented with the fine pieces of silk and lace revealing more than covering, white has always been his always been his favorite lingerie color, it matches his already fair skin, giving the illusion of total nudity, angelic and pure, contradicting with the sinister actions associated with the sexy set of clothes. He prays his body with his favorite perfume, the sweet fruity scent is almost aphrodisiac that it makes him grow more turned on. His face is flushed pink, lips moist and luscious, and eyes gleaming with excitement. With a final check, yes, he's not ashamed to call himself a divine masterpiece. What a lucky bastard he's waiting for!

Minutes later, the room service is here to deliver the late night delicious meal and the bottle of champagne. Victor feels bad for the boy service guy who stammers and trips when he glances at him, can he blame him? Even sufficiently covered by the rope, Victor's still insanely alluring, with his stunning face and gorgeous hair and his dizzying scent. He cashes him before he leave with an extra tips for his tournament.

He counts the seconds, then a sudden knock on the door makes his heart jump in his chest. Victor tries to keep his seductive cool as he rushes to the door, hand flying to his flowing hair to keep its elegance. 

Opening it, he finds the man leaning on the door with a delicious smirk on his face. Victor licks his lip suggestively, and wasting no more seconds, he pulls him inside by his tie, wrapping his body with his own to trap him with his longing limbs, he kisses him beastly with all he got of passion and desire, murmuring into his lips, "Happy Birthday...daddy!"

"God I miss you Vitya..." The reply comes muffled with a harder kiss.

 

Somewhere in the world, it's still Yuuri Katsuki's birthday, and Victor is gifting himself to him tonight. Tonight is a good night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personally, I think I like the ending to this chapter a little too much? 
> 
> How do you think of it? Did you enjoy the chapter? Was it good? Was it boring or rushed? 
> 
> If last chapter was hard to write, this one was a MONSTER! like I had no idea how I would put all this in one chapter? It drained me for real. But hopefully it was well written? For the next chapter I think I'll die writing it, I know how to wrap up the story, but the outlines of the chapter are still unclear to me, so lend me your strength. 
> 
> Also I hope my writing has improved? Because I know I'm not the best writer out there, and I'm trying my best to improve.. Thanks to everyone who's supporting me.
> 
> Also there's this issue about making the nature of the Katsukis and the Nikiforov business quite vague, simply because I have no idea what they're doing, all I can say that they are just working at something making them very rich? XD it's lazy of me to leave it undisclosed like this but let's leave it to your imagination 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's still reading, leaving kudos and comments.
> 
> Please tell me your thoughts (♡˙︶˙♡)
> 
> While waiting for the last chapter, maybe you can check my other works :D


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, it isn't the last chapter after all.

"Talking about birthdays, I've been thinking about something since yesterday," Victor starts, voice hushed and calm like a whispered lullaby. Yuuri looks down expectantly at his lover's head in his lap, fingers brushing and twirling into the long silvery strands. "So I was getting ready in the morning, and for a bit too long, I was staring at myself in the mirror.."

"You're always staring at yourself in the mirror." Yuuri cuts him with a snort, his playful teasing is met with a hurt gasp from Victor who doesn't hesitate to slap the hand playing with his hair not too playfully. The older man chuckles with amusement, taking the punishing hand and kissing the tip of each finger apologetically. "Sorry, love. i'm joking, but to be honest, who would have your face and stare in the mirror all day long?" 

"Oh yeah? I've had it for many years so I know exactly how it looks. Why am I even talking to you? Way to kill the mood." Victor complains and it just makes Yuuri's heart grow fonder. He misses this adorable pout, so he kisses it down. 

"My bad, love. Please, go on." 

"I forgot, of course. What? Do you think the thought will stay the whole day?"

Yuuri does his best to suppress his laugh. "Weren't you just telling me how you'd been thinking about it since yesterday?" 

"Oh right, I remembered. Not sure if I should tell you anymore though.

"Come on, you're dying to tell me!" Yuuri murmurs into his wide forehead, eliciting a resistant laugh from the mad lover.

"Okay, okay, you don't have to beg. I was looking in the mirror, and suddenly I realized, I'm twenty four in a month!" He exclaims the last statement and continues, tone more serious now. "When did this even happen? Where all these years went and when did all this time pass? What have I even done in all these years?"

"Twenty four is barely an age to get a midlife crisis at, my love." Answers Yuuri, kissing his forehead once more.

"But sure it's an age to get a quarter-life crisis, and what's freaking me out...is how years are stolen from you. Aging is scary, you were eighteen just yesterday, years pass in days, and bam... Your hair is falling off!"

Yuuri practically howls as his hand subconsciously move to that hair whirl Victor has been concerned about since they first started their relationship. He knows too well one of Victor's deepest fears, and while it's a subject of their amusement and teasing, maybe Victor is a little obsessed about it. 

"You don't have to worry about that, Vitya. You'll still look gorgeous if you go bald."

"Not making it any better!" Victor whines, smiling though. "But for real. It's not just about how our youth is being sabotaged without me noticing. It's about a whole contradicting idea, that I'm feeling unlike my age. Yes I may be growing old too fast, but not faster than how my mind is growing. Like for a good period of my life, I used to feel like my mental age was stuck in eighteen. You know how unless my life was and my mind was just too static that I thought it wouldn't evolve beyond eighteen. Nineteen came, no change, then twenty then twenty one and so on. I got all I had ever wanted at eighteen so I stopped thinking I would grow older than that..." 

He takes a deep breath, feeling a little distressed. "But after everything happened to me, yesterday in front of the mirror, I suddenly felt I was over forty. And I'm not sure how forty year old's feel, but I felt exhausted, burned out, and empty. I could even see it on my face, creases and lines that hadn't been there, eyes too heavy to brightly open like I used to, something I couldn't recognized was present there. I'm aging too fast, but my mind is aging faster. And maybe my soul is approaching senility faster than it should."

His eyes take a break closing for moments, letting it out was difficult, but it was a burden on his chest as well, it's foolish to waste the moment of clarity and pleasure they are robbing from the rest of the world with this sort of dark confessions. But he's in a peaceful place with Yuuri where it's shining brightly, and he needs this light for the darkness that's been growing and regressing and reshaping non stop inside his sick mind.

It's still peaceful like this, with his eyes closed and fingers intertwining into his hair and the quietness of the place but the subtle sounds of their steady breathing. But he's still expecting an answer, a simple word of empathy or comfort. None comes.

Victor opens one eye to check on Yuuri, his face is hovering above his own, staring at him with a faint glimmer in his non blinking eyes, his lips are half open in focus, he's admiring him, Victor realizes.

He shifts his head from Yuuri's lap, sitting up and watching Yuuri's puzzled eyes are following his abrupt movement. Victor shoots him an accusatory look. "You weren't listening to me, were you?" 

"Ah? I'm sorry I didn't pay attention to what you were saying." Yuuri smiles apologetically, and caresses his cheek. "Guess I was too distracted by your divine image."

He raises a questioning eyebrow, and Yuuri begins to explain with a soft look, "Maybe...I was too distracted by the way looked, the way the early sun rays fell over your face and illuminated your features in their perfection, emphasizing the brilliance of the smallest details, how the light reflected upon your silver hair shining with a lovely violet shade. It reminds me of how an art piece is displayed under certain installment of lighting in a museum to show its beauty at all the right angles. Just breathtaking..."

The fascination borne words strike him like a lightening, surprising and electrifying, and not in a good way. Victor didn't expect his partner to wax poetic about him out of nowhere when Yuuri isn't even known for his extra sweet tongue. Yuuri is a man of mind, and also honest feelings, of understanding. He knows when to listen, when to reply, his words are well measured, final, valuable, and if he's just going to act suddenly like a Romeo reciting poetry for his Juliet's beauty when Victor is trying to tell him something important to him, how can't Victor be offended?

"Well, that's nice of you to say, but it would be nicer if you actually listened to me, you know?" Victor can hear the harshness in his tone, even though he tried to control his anger. Yuuri's face drops.

"Victor, are you mad?" He asks with a shaky voice, concern overtaking his face.

As much as Victor doesn't want to take it further, he can't help but feel more outraged that he moves out the bed completely, standing in the centre of the room with the sheet tightly wrapped around his body. 

"You don't have to remind me every two minutes that I'm "pretty", I know it's all I've got but you could at least pretend to care about what I say. I've grown up showered in praises and compliments about my looks but how many people actually ever listened to me or cared slightly about what I thought?" 

Yuuri gapes at him in disbelief, he tries to speak...to defend himself, but no words come out of his hesitant mouth. Victor feels a little guilty because he's sure it's never Yuuri's intentions to reduce him to something so shallow or ridicule his mind, but he has to make him learn the hard way how to truly appreciate him. Many things changed for Victor. 

"I'm more than a pretty plaything, I'm not an art piece either. I'm a whole person. And you of all people, Yuuri, should know that."

"I know..." Yuuri replies weakly. He stands in front of Victor, cupping his face in delicate desperation, afraid?

"Yuuri, this isn't going to last forever..." Victor points to his own face, his father's words from long time ago echoing in his mind. "I'll wither someday, quicker than I hope for. If this is why you're with me..."

"Never!" Yuuri is fast to protest. "It's never because of that. I love you, Victor, i love you as a whole, for everything you are, for who you are, regardless of how you look or what you do. And I'm an idiot to make you feel that way, for making you doubt my love for you and reducing it to some senseless infatuation with your beauty. I..." Yuuri fails to continue, and he collapses to his knees, puling Victor's worry down with him. 

"I keep missing up and I'm so sorry, I'm even wasting our second chance..." He confesses sadly with dreadful eyes. Too fragile, their relationship is still too fragile and vulnerable, easily broken. It's like there're more issues reemerging and appearing whenever they try to solve one. But not this time, they're already on a borrowed time, they can't waste the few days sabotaged from their busy lives on arguments and differences.

"No, Yuuri. It's fine, I'm... I'm overreacting. You know how senstive I'm lately and the smallest things affect me." Victor surrounds Yuuri's curled body with his arms like hugging a child, rocking them back and forth.

Yuuri looks vulnerably at him, adoring him with his insecure eyes."I can't lose you again..." 

"Lose me? You're stuck with me forever and nothing can change that." Victor whispers, placing a reassuring kiss on his tense neck. "Maybe I shouldn't have said what I said."

"No! You did the right thing, I made a foolish mistake and you have every right to be mad. And you should tell me when I'm messing up, Victor. The lack of communication is one amongst the other things that destroyed you and our relationship before. And I'm not willing to ever hurt you again." 

Victor kisses him softly, stroking his hair. And when they pull back, Yuuri chuckles a little.

"I can't believe the childish things I'm doing. Instead of listening to you speaking your mind I was staring at you like an idiot and gushing about your beauty like a dumbstruck teenager. Maybe Mari is right after all and I'm on a sort of delayed adolescence stage to compensate my early adulting." 

"Am I your teenage fantasy?" Victor asks playfully, eager to clear up the ruined mood with a simple joke.

"Better. You're my adult reality." The statement makes Victor smile a little too wide, this is something his favorite Yuuri would say, the right words at the right time. The fact that he now acknowledges him as his reality makes his heart pound in joy, because before they were a sweet dream, always threatened to wake up from. Alright, they're still meeting in secret away from the eyes, but this time it's different because it's just a temporary situation until all is set to come out in the light. Not just that, but also they are now aware of what they mean to each other, not dancing around their feelings anymore, they are ensured that they belong with each other eventually. 

Besides, Yuuri is barely cautious about their "romantic escapde" and he's treating the secrecy with an indifferent neglect. Because he's already getting ready to lose everything that is holding him back from his Victor. Yuuri is already exposed, and the mild damage control he participated in is temporary too before he completely destroys his life and has a fresh start with his Victor. So if Yuuri gets caught, again, it will only rush the inevitable.

"You're not mad anymore?" Yuuri asks hopefully, this time it's Victor who admires his face, the way his ruffled hair falling boyishly over his forehead, his big brown eyes shining softly under the dim early morning light, his cheeks round and innocent like a baby's, and maybe he can't blame Yuuri. It's possible to suddenly get lost in your lover's ethereal beauty in the middle of a conversation.

"No I'm not." Relief shows on Yuuri's lovely face. "But my ass really hurts from this remorseful pose on the hard floor, I get it you're regretting a mistake but we can take it to the bed."

Yuuri smirks slyly. "Your ass is probably hurting from something else." Victor instantly feels his face heating up at the recent memory of their lewd activities from earlier, and two months apart wasn't exactly helping their physical longing to each other's bodies. Online sex when Skyping is really a revolutionary progress to long distance relationship, but nothing beats the real. Before Victor can make a reply, he's surprised by being carried off the floor in Yuuri's arms, and Victor stops breathing.

Yuuri carries him effortlessly and Victor still feels giddy like he's flying when he's being lifted up like this, he's still bewildered by Yuuri's ability to carry him like nothing despite his smaller form. 

"I'm still regretful that I didn't listen but also..." Yuuri says as he places him gently in the bed and climbs up beside him. "Who gets tired of being called beautiful? I, for instance, never get enough of you calling me handsome. I could be dying of an angina and asking for help and I wouldn't mind you to cut me off saying how beautiful I looked while dying." 

Victor snorts, nudging him lightly. "Seems like you're just fishing for compliments!"

"Am I going to deny? No." He admits proudly, earning another laughing kiss from his lover.

"You're handsome." Victor says halfheartedly, looking the other way. But he can't conceal his schoolgirl blush from Yuuri's narrow eyes.

"Oh come on, you could do better than that." Yuuri whines, his head creeping to meet Victor's escaping gaze, and Victor suffers to escape his tireless chase. 

"Fine fine, I give up! I have the most handsome and alluring and beautiful and sexiest man I'm the world. Better?"

"Best."

Victor's silly giggle is disrupted midway by a yawn, the urge to shut tight his eyes is stronger than ever, and Yuuri doesn't fail to see that.

"You've been up for more than twenty four hours...travelled from a country to another...landed straight on bed for me to fuck you hard and thoroughly..." Yuuri makes a point of the last words with a hot open mouthed kiss causing Victor to whimper beneath him. He pulls back, grinning. "You should sleep now." 

Kissing again greedily while wrapping limbs around Yuuri's body, Victor shakes his head. "And waste my limited time with you? Never! I don't even know when I'll see you again."

"You don't have to worry about time, I extended my stay for two more days." 

Victor bounces in glee, hugging him harder. Four days is better than two, isn't it? However, something else crosses his mind. "She's here with you, right?" He asks hesitantly, but the soft expression on Yuuri's face doesn't change.

"Yes, you know I had that important gala dinner, as my wife of course she was my date." My wife, the words boils the blood on Victor's vessels, and he doesn't make the smallest effort to hide his envy and grudge. "Her flight is leaving in few hours though, she has a job to mind, you know..."

"And...and does she know why you're staying here for a longer time?" He asks, more interrogates with a frown. Even though he's aware of the nature of their practical relationship, Victor still can't help but hate Yuuri's "wife" from his guts, and he would kill her with cold blood. Okay, he's a bit dramatic, but the jealousy could really burn him to ashes.

But isn't Yuuri just the smartest to take the hint and smile smugly, resting his head on his hand. "Why wouldn't I tell her?"

Victor's pupils dilate with excitement. "What did you tell her?" 

"I'm staying longer to spend more time with Victor." Yuuri answers simply, earning a kid amazed gasp from Victor whose jaw is probably dislocated now. 

"Shut up! You didn't say that!" 

"Word for word." Yuuri laughs.

"No way. You...you refer to me with my name in front of her?" 

Yuuri snorts at his question. "Sometime just 'my boyfriend' as well." 

Victor screams. "Bo...boyfreind? Ah I can't believe you identify me as your boyfriend...to your own wife! Yuuri, this is insane!"

Yuuri is rolling on the bed bow, unable to control his laughter, too amused by his lover's reaction. Definitely better than he expected. He wipes an escaped tear from the corner of his eye. "Well, you're my boyfriend more than she's my wife, why can't I enjoy this word?"

Victor laughs back and falls on top of his cheeky lover, peppering his face with happy grateful kisses. They've come a long way, haven't they? From hiding their relationship from the entire world to shamelessly calling him his boyfriend in front of his own wife. 

Victor, still smiling widely, shakes his head, unconvinced. "But even if it's a business arrangement with no feelings involved, how can she accept it? Her pride and dignity? The most important question, how hasn't she fallen in love with you already while living with you?" 

Yuuri looks up on wonder into the loving eyes of his boyfriend, Victor is still laying on top of him, gazing down at him with radiating affection. Yuuri kisses up the tip of his blushing nose, stroking the naked smoothness of his back. "Maybe I'm appealing to you, but half of my possessions and money is sure more appealing to everyone else, lucky for us."

Victor nods, pressing his head against Yuuri's heaving chest. "True, I don't want to fight anyone else for your love, it's already hard to win you for myself."

"You've won long time ago..." Yuuri stops briefly for a kiss on the forehead, then he waves his left hand I'm front of Victor. "And here's the proof."

Victor is quick to clasp his hand adoringly, he brings it his lips to press a cherishing kiss to the gold ring crowning Yuuri's finger. Yes, it's all he needs to ensure Yuuri is his. What more will he ever need than Yuuri getting married to someone else with a ring identical to his own, his name, Victor, finely engraved on the inside of it? Yuuri literally put a ring with Victor's name on his wedding day to another woman, who probably is aware of this fact. 

It's insane, sometimes Victor still doesn't believe it actually happened, that he's reunited with the love of his life and they decided to resume their relationship on his very wedding day!

"Don't let your head get drifted to dark places now, let's enjoy our days together and leave the worry for other time. Now, I'll hold you in my arms until you fall asleep, okay?" 

"Okay." Victor answers with a stolen peck and he rests his head on Yuuri's chest as he holds him, falling into the most peaceful sleep.

*********

Yuuri studies Victor's sleeping face for a while, feeling a little guilty to do that after the earlier incident of him doing the same, but at least Victor is asleep now and he isn't aware of Yuuri's creepy behavior. It's not just his fascination with the embodiment of perfection that is Victor Nikiforov, it's his torturous longing to him after a long period of absence. Yuuri is missing him like crazy and no one can sue him for admiring him, drinking in his smallest details, enhancing that picture in his mind he's been living off for all this time. At a point, Yuuri was used to sleeping and waking up to that face every day, and being deprived of him like this was brutal. So why would he waste a minute of their stolen time not looking at him?

Let him indulge this momentary peace, free from the ghost of anxiety constantly haunting him. But when has he ever been fully free from worry? Despite making up his mind long time ago, since Victor leaving, he still worries about how he will do it. Yuuri made the choice, and the choice is obviously his Victor, at the price of almost everything he has got, and he doesn't feel an ounce of regret or discouragement. Just endure the time left and then he's free.

When Victor left, more than a year ago, of course he was mad, bitter, and broken. He felt betrayed and abandoned, he was willing to give up everything for him, yet Victor gave him his back and simply left, so cruel. He promised to always love him but to never forgive him, it was the first time Yuuri realized the feeling of being hurt. 

He wasn't sure if he had gone through all the stages of grief and he finally accepted the loss, or he was in a state of dramatized indifference, stuck in the stage of denial, but he decided to carry on with his life. He lost Victor but it's a victory of another kind, he wasn't threatened by his family and career anymore, he easily submitted and bent to them and their orders. 

One day he had a nightmare, woke up panting and sweating, with Victor's crying voice repeating in loop. "How can I love you when I can't even love myself?" Scary, terrible, the question is disturbingly painful, Yuuri realized, how had he been so selfish? Victor had literally been crying for help, and he had been to engrossed in his own fears and pains that he had ignored him. He had never understood how he felt, in his eyes Victor had been the flawless perfection, everything he had ever needed and wanted, he had lacked the empathy, disconnected with his inner demons, missing completely how broken and helpless Victor had been.

And he foolishly had let him go without even a proper goodbye, only guilt tripping and cursing his lover when he had been at the lowest point of his life. Yuuri hadn't protected him, he had even made him feel more worthless and unerserving. Yuuri hadn't been good for him, good to him.

It became too clear to him that Victor needed time, and all Yuuri had to do was waiting, so he waited with the undying hope of their future reunion, he had done it before. To him it was only a temporary separation where Victor could catch his breath and pick up the pieces of himself to glue together again. But they would end up together, Yuuri slept safe and sound every night with that belief. All would be fine, he just kept on waiting. 

His plan included carrying on with his life while waiting for Victor to be ready for their relationship again. So Yuuri kept on working, recovering his reputation and image after the scandal, and earning new points from his family and the board. Among the "damage control" process, he no longer could put off the inevitable marriage, it was an important measure and he couldn't keep ignoring it. If Yuuri was going to completely quit his job for Victor, he had to make one last good job, which was the partnership coming with the marriage. 

And so Yuuri found himself meeting his soon to be "wife" with a proposition that could guarantee the partnership and his freedom afterwards. Yuuri managed to persuade her that their marriage had to come to an end months later, which meant after the partnership between their companies had settled, they were to divorce. A marriage of convenience. It was clear in her eyes that she had intended to keep the marriage, why wouldn't she when Yuuri was the perfect husband for her image and status and fortune? It would be such a great loss not to keep him, so she had to ensure to end that with minimal losses. Yuuri was to give her half of his possessions, his assets, his money, everything he got, like a traditional divorce, and to be honest, aside from the family assets, Yuuri made a lot from his job on his own, so he had a lot to give her. It wasn't a bad deal for her, the financial benefit was better than any divorce judge would guarantee her. And he just shrugged. When Yuuri decided to give up everything for Victor, he meant it for real. 

On the day of his wedding, Yuuri was right. All he had to do was waiting and Victor would come back to him, he did.

Was Yuuri secretly fantasizing about Victor showing up to his wedding to ruin it and sort of kidnap him away for himself? Yes, yes he definitely did. Did he expect his assistant, Yuri, to come up to him with a hesitant look demanding a private moment away from his bride, to secretly inform him that Victor Nikiforov was,in fact, present at the wedding? No, not at all. 

Victor was there for real, came but not to ruin the wedding, only to watch in bitterness his lover getting married to someone else, then leave silently. He had wanted to keep his presence unknown, had begged for Yuri to never tell Yuuri, but oops, Yuri's tongue slipped and Yuuri found himself sneaking out to chase the departing man. Yuuri was at the hotel reception searching desperately for the familiar back who had left moments ago, then he found him! 

Pulling him to a quieter corner away from the eyes, Yuuri stared at his shocked sobbing lover in disbelief, his lips were quirking up in a happy smile as his hand took grasp of the man to believe he was real and not just a product of his own ill imagination.

"Yuuri, what are you doing here? Please, go back... please! You didn't see me here, you weren't supposed to see me!" 

Yuuri barely listened to any of his pleadings and begging, he was just staring in amazement at the man he had missed to death, pleasing his teary eyes with the most beautiful sight in the world. His heart was twisting in his chest as he closely admired the new details of his lover, it hurt a lot to watch him like that, Victor looked terrible! A beautiful mess of sadness and exhaustion, his healthy form was thinning to the bones, heart wrenching! The pretty blush coloring his skin was lost to cold paleness, his eyes were heavy with the depression and desperation. Yuuri cried hard too. 

"How can you be here and not let me see you? Do you have any idea how much I waited for this moment? Because I knew it would surely come, I've always had faith in you, in us, Victor. Oh god, how I miss you!"

Yuuri couldn't resist hugging him, burying his face in the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply his divine scent. Yuuri was alive again, he was breathing his own oxygen in the little world he belonged to, it was nice to have the world in your hands after the long suffering of emptiness surrounding you. Victor was too weak to prevent him or push him away, his remaining strength was sucked by Yuuri's longing, and he just gave in. He wanted to pull back, but he couldn't. 

"Yuuri, I can't be here, it's not fair. We are not supposed to be together."

"No, it's the only way it should be. I was waiting for you and you came! We are only meant to be together. I'm sorry, Victor, so sorry."

Victor shook his head, puzzled and wondered. "Why are you even apologizing to me? I was the one who left, you said you weren't going to forgive me!"

Yuuri gently squeezed his arms, too gently in fear of breaking the fragile being with his clinging grip. "No, Victor! No I was wrong. I understand now more than anytime before, I'm so sorry I wasn't good enough to you. Instead of supporting you and giving you the space to grow and prove yourself, I selfishly held you back, put you under an unbearable pressure and made you feel worthless. It took toll on your mental health, it ate you alive, Victor, and I let it! I shouldn't have made you feel guilty when you left, I should have promised to wait for you until you're ready to come back to me, until you love yourself." 

His hand caressed his crying face, and Victor took it to his lips, kissing it in adoration making Yuuri's heart flutter like crazy. 

"I... I'm still trying, Yuuri. I've made a progress, you will be proud of me..." Victor murmured desperately.

"I'm always always proud of you, my beloved. I love you to death, and I'll wait for you, I'll forever wait. Let's take it slow, and this time for real, I'm not letting anything stand in our way, I'm not gonna mistreat you ever again, hide from the world like a dirty secret, acting so cowardly and foolishly, no. And I mean it, I'm not trying to affect your decision or emotionally blackmail you. I've made my mind long ago, regardless of your decision."

A smile brighter than the sun broke through Victor's rainy face, his hands still holding Yuuri's. But then his face dropped when he glimpsed the gold band around his finger...

"Yuuri, you just got married..." He sighed.

"Oh no it's not permanent. Listen, I made an arrangement with her, once the partnership is done, we're done too, look..." Yuuri took off the gold ring, showing the inside of it closely to Victor. Victor's breathing stopped. "It's your name here, Victor. Look! It's a ring identical to yours, the one I gave you when we first got together. It's a pair, I hid mine in my wallet ever since, but I couldn't anymore, it's the only ring I could slip on my finger, with your beloved name on it."

Victor paused to stare at the ring in puzzlement like it was the most complicated riddle in the world. He blinked fast to clear his vision from the blur of the tear pools accumulated in his eyes. His mouth was half open allowing the salty flow to slide in. Then he shifted his eyes to Yuuri's, a smile growing in his face. Victor jumped in Yuuri's arms breathing, "Oh Yuuri, I love you so much." And Yuuri held him even tighter. 

They felt complete, safe, loved. 

"Listen, Victor. I have a plan." Yuuri detached their hug, taking his face instead and pressed a warm kiss on his forehead. "I'm going to finish whatever business left for me, I'm going to divorce Sophia, then at the annual board meeting in Tokyo I'll hand my resignation and quit the group entirely, giving them back what doesn't belong to me, by the start of next year, I'll be free.

Victor's expression was totally frozen that day in shock and surprise, the revelations and confessions, everything was too much to take in, and Yuuri hit him in full force with no holding back. "What Yuuri? But..." He weakly began to protest, but soon silenced by Yuuri's palm covering his mouth, inhibiting him from any protests.

"It's not just for you, don't carry the weight of it on your shoulders, my love. It's mostly for me, I don't want this enslaving life anymore, I already made my decision regardless of you. I wasn't sure of what I would do next, but now you're giving me a second chance, I'll follow you and your plans, I'll be wherever you are."

"Yuuri, are you sure it's not because of me? It's too much to give away..."

"Yes yes I swear Victor, you don't have to feel responsible for it, or anything bad that happened to us before, you've done nothing to me but making me alive and showing me happiness. I won't pressure you, I'll be patient and helpful, I'll support you to get over all your insecurities, and you're already doing amazing my love."

"I feel like I'm dreaming Yuuri." Victor's hoarse voice was muffled in Yuuri's shoulder, he was sure by then that the fine fabric of his tux was already ruined by all the dampness leaking from Victor's face. But it was alright.

"Yuuri, I'm seeing Plisetsky searching for you, you should go back now. Also my flight is soon, I'm supposed to leave today too." 

Their separation was painful,it hurt physically as if Yuuri was being eviscerated or his limb was being ripped off. They even hadn't kiss yet.

"We will talk more about this in our texts..." Victor promised before Yuuri captured his mouth in a year worth of missed kisses.

"Promise me Victor, we will talk!" 

"I promise, I swear on your life, now go back, please don't cause more troubles."

With one more reassuring kiss they parted ways back to their usual lives, although they weren't the same as before. That destined brief encounter at the most wrong timing was the most right thing happened to their lives, Yuuri and Victor deserved another chance. 

A long distance relationship was what exactly they had needed, things looked different that way, with a vivid clarity and an objective judgement. Through the constant stream of texts and replies, Yuuri and Victor were getting to know each other for real, like it was for the first time, new revelations and new discoveries, less pressures and doubts, no sugarcoated truths, no try-hard to impress attempts. They were just talking, communicating, something necessary they had lacked in their previous relationship. 

Their conversations often started light, their daily updates and their simple plans, with occasional -not so occasional- flirts and sweet words. From there they would move to a deeper issue to discuss, a habit of their own, an idea, an opinion. Then they would dive deeper into themselves and their minds, bringing back their shared past, talking about things that needed to be clarified, explaining why they did something instead of other thing, apologizing for misguided and unintentional mistakes. All the issues that had been taboos for them or simply had been ignored to maintain their fragile relationship, painful things that had been tossed aside in neglect until they had accumulated in one disastrous pile contributing to their eventual break, it was exhausting, too honest, too blunt, but nonetheless good. 

One of the most important issues resolved was the start of their relationship, their deal. Yuuri admitted he had been too much of a coward to express his feelings to Victor to properly ask him in a decent relationship. Instead he had used his vulnerability and lured him with money. Partially due to the need of secrecy and incapability to face the others with their relationship, and partially because he genuinely had never thought that Victor could have ever been interested in him for more than his money. He had been bad with feelings, equally bad with words. 

Victor confessed to him that he had been too desperate to get with Yuuri that he had reluctantly agreed to his offer, although he had despised himself for taking it. He had felt too cheap for getting a return to his honest affections and love for Yuuri, he had hated that Yuuri had thought so of him, thinking he had been only there for money, bought for pleasure. Victor had loathed himself, Yuuri, and their relationship. Even if he had been too sure that he had meant more for Yuuri, and Yuuri looked at him more than a paid service, he still had loathed it all.

It was like peeling onions, funny the accuracy of the analogue, with each layer peeled off more tears were shed till the bare core. But a wound needed debridement before treatment, to be opened and cleansed of all the damaged tissue, more blood needed to be bled to heal, the soaring burn of an antiseptic poured profusely on the inflamed open wound, it was a necessary painful bloody procedure in order to heal. It was hard to recount their pain and bitterness, both of them had suffered, but noticeably Victor's suffering had been the greatest. However, Yuuri was fascinated with Victor's experience, knowing all about his fall and attempt to rise again, his slow baby steps, the changes in his life that almost made him foreign to Yuuri, Victor was undergoing a complete metamorphosis that would barely leave him the same, it made Yuuri happy and proud still. 

They also re-imagined their future together, trying not to get too excited about it, keeping their expectations low to avoid heartbreaking disappointments, they could barely afford more loss. They had to tune down their dreamy romantice, because plans needed a realistic rational approach, with alternatives to face any failures if they wanted to get back together.

Today marks almost five months since Yuuri's wedding and the renewal of their relationship, and in all this time, this is their third meeting since the wedding. The second was two months ago when Victor was in New York for a business related trip, yeah he travels now sometimes with his father. During that hazy one night meeting nothing much happened other than an insane rushed love making session, cause that what happens after one year of longing separation and extra three months of "online dating".

How much time left until they're finally and permanently together? A month and few weeks more maybe? how to make time pass faster? The idea of this visit coming to an end and being apart again is physically painful to Yuuri. Too much time wasted in waiting, since the very first day they met.

********

Time can be funny sometimes, or even all the time (pun intended), you don't know how it passes in a way always against your wishes. When you're anticipating the happening of something important that your patience is running out, it passes sadistically slowly. Counting the minutes and seconds will only make it slower, and ignoring it for a while isn't totally wise because you will look at your watch to realize the ten hours you went through were actually one hour on the clock. And when you're practically begging for a moment to last longer, it brutally and amazingly passes too fast. You take a few hours nap after a flight and a semi long love session, then you wake up obliged to get ready for your flight back home, and wonder why the time in between passed like a short pleasant dream. 

Today is already the last day of the promised four day heaven, and Victor is disturbed by the fact that they've done barely anything in the past three days but laying in bed with occasional trips to the bathroom. Talk, laugh, eat, sleep, have sex, their routine has been as simple as that, and not to lie, Victor doesn't regret it a bit. However he still wishes for few memories before leaving London. Being showered in love declarations and words affections, from sweet nothings to heartfelt confessions, worshiped like a God and cherished like a saint, pampered like a prince and fed in the mouth like a child, certainly all these make perfect memories. But still he needs the memories of the place, he wants to wander the world associating every country with a special memory with Yuuri.

Sightseeing within the prominent attractions and historical landmarks can be saved for another longer visit, right now Victor wishes for a simple tour or "date" with his lover around a particular part of the city. Although he and Yuuri planned their meeting long ago, they didn't really consider what to do in London during their visit. Their aim was simply seeing each other in a four walled room isolated from the outer world, falling into each other's arms was enough for them, and after three days of mindless fucking Victor doesn't have a visit program, nor does Yuuri.

So when Victor wakes Yuuri with enthusiasm announcing the importance of spending the last day together out of the hotel room, Yuuri is surprised. To be honest neither of them would mind an extra day of lazy love making and hazy conversations, but Victor will feel bad if he misses the opportunity to do something fun this visit, something fun as a public date with his boyfriend. Because Yuuri acknowledged long that they're boyfriends, and boyfriends go out in dates without the fear of being seen or caught. Which is basically the main reason for Victor's need, his urge to act like a normal couple and to be treated like a normal couple. And since Yuuri doesn't give a damn anymore, Victor is going to milk this chance till the last drop. His excitement grows more when he realizes that this is just a brief hint of their near future together.

Yuuri welcomes the idea though, and unlike Victor, he knows exactly where to take him on their simple date.

On the second story of the double decker bus, Victor like a giddy child watches the city under the thin coat of whiteness through the window, he feels silly for being this fascinated and excited about a bus, but he never went on them before during his rare past visits to the UK. It's different from the touristic buses for sightseeing as it's just an everyday transportation means, but Victor still gasps and points to Yuuri at almost everything he sees. And Yuuri is having the time of his life watching him this enthusiastic about something that simple. Victor is just too pure. 

"Glad to make your wish come true." Yuuri comments, drawing Victor's attention to him, he tears his eyes off the window and looks at him in confusion. He doesn't recall telling him a wish about riding a bus.

Yuuri smiles, elaborating, "We were listening to the Smiths' there's a light that never goes out, and when the part about double decker bus came you said you wanted to ride one. You were drunk back then so you don't remember it." 

Victor's eyes widen, his smile growing fonder. "And you remember something silly like this?" 

"And can I forget something about you?" 

Victor giggles at the sappy affection of his lover, pressing a grateful kiss to his cheek. And there're people around them, yet they don't hesitate to go for some PDA, cause everything is different now.

So many interesting things to watch and look at, too little time. Yuuri promises to come here again in an extended vacation to fulfill their joy. But now, London Eye! 

Standing in the long line for tickets, Victor doesn't mind nor complain, he just keeps bouncing on his feet and jumping around, Yuuri barely can keep up with his hyperactivity. Of course they ride the giant Ferris wheel, they have a history with them and they're not gonna miss this. They glance at each other mischievously with naughty smiles, cheeks heating up automatically when they get on the capsule and recall the vivid memory of their filthy activities associated with Ferris wheels. Unfortunately they're not alone revive the moment, with dozen people in the capsule with them they manage nothing more than few sneaky pecks and holding hands. They wouldn't have the mind for more anyway, the view from above the city is breathtaking enough to distract. Victor takes several photos on his phone, he has been doing it anyway from the moment they left the hotel room, most of the photos are of Yuuri's delighted face though. 

After the impressive ride, they take a lovely stroll on the Queen's walk hand in hand. The famous walkway is relatively busy and crowded, not unpleasantly crowded though. The weather is actually nice, not too cold and the snowfall has ceased. Everything is a sight to look at, from the river to the fine architecture of the buildings and the landmarks to the shops and cafes along the way, the air is saturated with A cheerful energy, and the place is already sporting the early spirit of Christmas. But everything is completely ignored when a dog appears to the sight, Victor and Yuuri don't hesitate to ungracefully get on their knees to pat and coo at every dog on their way.

Victor has a hard time pulling Yuuri away from the direction of the southbank center, the art geek inside him is gratified to the artistic center, Victor knows it's very interesting that they'll lose themselves inside, even if they avoid it they'll still be met with other tempting sites and museums, Yuuri is too weak. But their time is very little and Victor wants every second of Yuuri's to himself only. They settle to have lunch at one of the cozy cafe restaurants. Victor is careful to document every precious moment with a snap of his phone camera, his happiness at this moment can't be measured. 

Resuming their walk, they're met with some street performers and artists, singing and playing music and so on. When they come to a girl playing an acoustic guitar singing Young and Beautiful, of course Victor, the ultimate Lana Del Rey stan, insists on watching the performance and Yuuri cracks up. A minute into the song Yuuri takes his hand, swinging him. Dancing on the sidewalk? Why not? Victor giggles as he dances along, the urge to pinch himself is real, because this scene is identical to a daydream he used to have.

"So, Yuuri, will you still love me when I'm not young and beautiful?" Victor asks, grinning sweetly, and Yuuri shrugs.

"I don't know, I'm already thirty. Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?" 

"Yuuri, you dumb! In case you missed it, 'I got a taste for man who're older' remember? And you age finer than wine, can't believe for all the eye candy waiting for me. Also, you're my sugar daddy, remember that too?" 

"I'm also on the verge of going broke, so no more sugar." The song is over, Yuuri pays the singer a generous amount of cash with a thanks and takes Victor's arm in his, tangling them together to walk on.

"Well, we don't need no money we can make it all work." Victor is satisfied with another song reference, and Yuuri bursts in laughter. "Besides, I'm working for my father now. I'm on my way to takeover the company for myself, in few years I'm gonna be richer than you has ever been and I'll promote you from a sugar daddy to a sugar baby." 

Yuuri's laughter turns hysterical, infecting Victor with it, and with their uncontrollable howling people glare at them like they're maniacs.

When it's officially the famous tea time, they stop by a cafe ordering in the best British imitation two cups of English tea and two pieces of classic chocolate cake. Yuuri isn't very impressed, saying nothing beats the Japanese tea traditions which he's still fond of and commited to. The remaining time before Victor's flight is quickly running out, Victor doesn't waste the precious time moping and sulking about the inevitable separation, instead they discuss some of the future possibilities, concerning their upcoming reunion including Yuuri's move to Russia. 

It's not like Yuuri will suffer unemployment in St Petersburg, he's satisfied with a job fitting his qualifications, which are already mind blowing, he's already running a whole company. But Victor is still planting that suggestion from weeks ago in his head, and now it's blossoming into a serious consideration. Yuuri might actually work for the Nikiforovs. 

Which makes them jump to Victor's current occupation, his experience at his father's company. 

"I mean nothing is hard yet, it's all simple tasks, attending meetings and writing reports, sending emails AMD organizing appointments, this stuff...ah also making coffee, this specifically is a hard work, you know?" 

Yuuri chuckles, taking Victor's hand in his to kiss it, habits. "Oh coffee! I know how hard it can be. But for real my love, is it something you truly enjoy? Can you see yourself several years from now doing this?"

Victor habitually presses a finger to his lip, seeking the right answer, then he shrugs. "A regular office job feels like the right thing to do right now. It can be boring as much as it can be stressing, it can be easy now, harder later, but it's a job, and it makes me feel accomplished and valuable when I'm doing it. I'm not remarkably good or interested in anything. I hated modeling and was annoyed by it most of the time. So if I get this one right I can see my growth through it, I can be as big as my father someday. I'm not sure about the future, but so far it's okay. It's okay to not have a certain goal or passion but succeeding at what you're doing now, right?" 

With another kiss on his knuckles, Yuuri nods. "It is my love."

Victor smiles happily, and continues, "Also you haven't seen the look of pride on my father's face, he tries hard to hide it but I always see it. He really likes me being there by his side, likes me being involved in his work, likes the idea of me running his company someday. It's a foreign feeling to me, to be the good son in his cold eyes. It feels good!"

Yuuri returns the smile, then pulls his lips in a more wicked one. "I'm kind of used to this feeling that I'm really curious about the feeling of being the bad son. I'm looking forward to it from the bottom of my heart." 

"Oh Yuuri, you brought shame to your family, we officially denounce you. No son of ours will be such a disgrace to our family. You will not allow you to taint the name and legacy of the Katsukis maintained for generations with your indecent reckless behaviors with that shameless Russian!" Victor mocks sharply, pulling another laugh from Yuuri, a nervous one, but Victor doesn't laugh.

"Perfect simulation. Thanks to you, when I face this for real, I'll die of laughter instead of shaking in fear."

Victor still doesn't laugh. "Yuuri, are you sure about...all this? Are you ready to even give up the family that brought you to the world?"

"More than sure. Baby boy, I'm not trading something worth of being sad for. To my family, I'm an investment...an extension to their expanding business. They'll count the financial loss instead of missing me, and I don't regret it a bit. Do I love them? Yes I do. Do I think they love me back? Most likely. But love isn't a priority to them when it's a necessity to me. And you are all the love I need, my dear."

Victor can't stop himself from leaning towards him and capturing his mouth in one loving kiss. When he pulls back, his hand is still in Yuuri's, Yuuri laughs to himself.

"Sometimes I wonder what is it like if you meet them officially."

"I will make a Japanese greeting, and tell them, nice to meet you, Yuuri is my daddy." Yuuri cackles, Victor goes on, "Or I have to address them with more respect, Yuuri is my father." 

"Vitya you're killing me..." 

"Wait till I introduce you and my father to each other... This is my dad, and this is my daddy!" 

"Can you please stop? I can't take my breath..."

"Imagine his face when I tell him you're my daddy, wow, I can't wait to do that!"

"Victor, don't even think about it!" 

"Don't worry daddy, you don't have to feel ashamed about your kinks."

"You're the reason it's my kink, I didn't even have it in the first place!" 

"You mean when you first saw me, I woke up your fatherhood instincts and your daddy complex?" He winks.

"I mean you are who asked me to be your daddy." Yuuri says more seriously, earning a raised eyebrow from Victor. 

"What? No no no. You're the one who seduced me to that yacht of yours after sending me one hundred roses every day for a week, then you asked me to be your baby boy because you have a daddy complex or something, or rather you were too coward to confess to me."

"You don't know this Victor, but...it was you from the start." Yuuri has a private smile, a secret kept to himself and he's about to reveal. "Our first meeting wasn't at that party." 

Suddenly, it hits him. Chris told him about that months ago, Yuuri had arranged with Chris to meet him! Yuuri's mysterious words from a year and half ago at that devastating night... It makes sense.

"Yuuri, I've had my doubts. We had met before and you never told me?"

Yuuri's smile is altered with sadness. "June 4th, 2014 in Barcelona. I could never forget this date."

Realization strikes, Victor covers his mouth, his entire body shudders. He remembers that vacation, it was his first time in Barcelona, but Yuuri doesn't belong to any memory there. He spent about a week there, it wasn't very remarkable and nothing memorable happened, except meeting the love of his life there if course. It's impossible he forgot about Yuuri if he had met him there. But...there was a blank night, Victor knows. A night when he had been too drunk, he remembers waking up the next morning alone in bed with remnants of a steamy night and unexplainable emptiness in his chest.

"Phichit and I were having dinner at the hotel restaurant, you came in with other men wrapped around your finger, carefree and cheerful, chattering and drinking and dancing..." Yuuri huffs a small amused laugh as his eyes sparkle with the memory. "I couldn't take my eyes off you no matter how hard I tried, you are very present, very tempting... I felt too jealous, the first time in my life experiencing such a feeling. I was jealous of the other men who had you, touched you, kissed you, and flirted with you, and you giving each a share of your playful affection, I was jealous of how carefree you were... Then you fell on my lap...and I fell under your spell..."

Yuuri continues to narrate the memory vividly as he remembers it in full detail, describing their encounter as if it was just yesterday, and Victor just listens helplessly stunned with the new knowledge. He learns the origins of their baby-daddy deal when Yuuri chuckles as he mentions how during their sensual dance Victor thought Yuuri's authoritative and serious demeanour reminded him of his own father. His suggestion to become his baby boy, pampering and spoiling him. Yuuri laughs even harder when he reaches the part of them moving to a hotel room to have an impulsive one night stand, only for Victor to fall asleep mid-act and Yuuri pulling out painfully hard. His laughter is uncontrollable, but Victor doesn't crack a smile, no humor found in what he's listening to. Only deep regret and frustration that he lost a lovely memory of their real first meeting, wasted to the obliviousness of alcohol. 

Yuuri tilts his head, eyeing Victor in adoration. "You were a drunken mess with half consciousness, yet you still caught me and looked so deeply in my eyes...asking me why I was so sad, and I said I was not sad but you insisted... "

"Too sad...too beautiful..." Victor mutters spontaneously, staring in the space. Yuuri rocks in his seat, nodding in confirmation. 

"Yes, these are the exact words. Do...do you remember them?" 

"I've always found you too sad...too beautiful my darling." Victor starts crying with in sorry tears. Yuuri wipes them with his warm tenderness and proceeds to tell him what was next. How he had waited that phone call that never came, thinking he really ghosted him, his growing obsession towards him, his longing and yearning to have something with him, that night had left him missing a piece of his soul, his entire soul was stolen by Victor's careless affections. And Victor loses his sanity listening to all this. 

Pain and loneliness radiate from his existence as he describes his hopeless patience to reach for Victor again, more than a year and a number of months. He felt guilty as well for taking advantage of Victor's need, and earning his company the way he did, buying his love, simply because he felt not enough for Victor, that Victor would abandon he him once he realized how plain and boring life with him was, Yuuri himself was. 

"After all you would only see me as a creepy stalker who obsessed about the smallest details of your life. I led a robot like life, devoid from any emotion or passion, you exploded a pool of feelings inside me, I drowned in my own feelings for you. Reaching you was a life goal, and I had to do all the stupid things I did, no matter how manipulative and obsessive I got, I hope you forgive me Victor for all this."

"Yuuri, you idiot, stupid idiot. What a meaningless life I had before you, what took you so long? Why?!"

With each word said in nostalgic pain, Victor gushes tears more and more, and Yuuri dries them away as he speaks more and more, explaining further more, apologizing further more.

"Why..." Victor weeps, he's sure they've become such a scene to the other cafe customers but he couldn't care less. "Why did you waste all this time? We could have been together earlier, you wouldn't have suffered all this alone! I needed you Yuuri back then, I've always needed you."

"Calm down my love. We can't play with destiny and bend it to our liking, it was all meant to be, for the best. We were in totally different places back then, what makes you so sure that you would have fallen for me back then? How would have we made it work when our lives didn't cross, when we lived in completely two different countries? You could have even felt easily bored of me, I probably would't have tolerated your life style. Who knows? Maybe it wasn't the right timing." 

"Impossible, Yuuri. I would have fallen in love with you any time, I already have, twice! And all this time...oh god, why is it too hard to be with you?"

Victor throws himself in Yuuri's welcoming arms. Hugging and patting him, Yuuri whispers sweetly in his ear, "We're in love now, we'll be together soon, be patient my love. There's a reason why it all happened this way, thanks to all what happened were now stronger than ever, our love is stronger."

Victor takes his time crying his regrets, mumbling muffled curses and complains with Yuuri securing him safely in his embrace the whole time. Another wound healing, good.

Time runs out, forcing the reluctant lovers to separate, yet they're closer than ever. They go to the hotel to checkout and pick up Victor's luggage, then they set off to the airport, holding hands the whole time with no will to let go. 

Yuuri buys Victor a box of chocolate from a duty free shop, for the boring time of the flight. Victor opens the box and picks up one to feed his lover, shamelessly leaning in to exchange a kiss with him and licking the chocolate from the inside of his mouth. A couple of girls nearby watch in interest and giggle, notably their eyes lingering on Victor. 

Yuuri turns to Victor with a meaningful look. "Admirers, must be hard to deal with them all the time." 

Victor smiles coyly, with a new purpose in his eyes. "You think you would get used to it with time, but it's still annoying to have all these people hitting on you, especially at work."

Yuuri arches a jealous eyebrow, Victor's purpose served. "Oh really? You get hit on during work?"

"They flirt with me and ask me out all the time." He's too satisfied with Yuuri's involuntary reaction, Yuuri can't help but get jealous even with his awareness of Victor's intentional teasing. "I mean the day I was travelling there was a man who was coming here as well, his birthday was the next day by the way, and he wished to spend it with me." 

"Maybe you should have." Yuuri replies with a grain of salt. It makes Victor laugh sadistically and hug him in comfort, Yuuri is just so cute to tease.

"From a previous experience men get easily bored when I talk to them about you. I'm just too in love with you, so nah..." 

Yuuri doesn't resist laughing. "Oh right, JJ!" 

"He went full couple consultant for me, he was too understanding it's surprising. I just had it really bad without you." 

Yuuri chuckles as his ear catchs the flight call. "Oh it's your flight number! Time to go." 

They exchange one last goodbye kiss, the most lingering never-ending one. Victor is about to cry...again. Yuuri pokes his adorable puffed cheek, and brushes his sweet pout. "Fly safely and take care of yourself baby boy. Don't sulk much, you'll see me again sooner than you expect.

Victor replies with a bone crushing hug , neither pull away for a good minute but it happens eventually, and Victor leaves taking Yuuri's breath away with him. Despite the sheer knowledge they're meeting again, in better circumstances even, it's still hard to leave.

*********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you this chapter made up for the previous angsty chapters and it carefully explained everything, and hope it was enjoyable enough.
> 
> I have to apologize again for the late update if there are any readers left. But i really had an eye procedure and the past few weeks weren't too kind on my eyes, but all is fine now. 
> 
> I hope you don't mind the addition of another chapter, but it would have been too rushed to resolve the entire story in one long chapter and try to wrap everything up. And I'm bad at planning a word count limit so it would have been a really fat on. Also I didn't want to wait any longer to update,
> 
> Next update should be faster than this, hopefully. I hope I won't disappoint. 
> 
> Please tell me what you think. Thanks to whoever is still reading this and supporting me, I love you <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 16k word finale 
> 
> Thank you so much in advance. Please forgive me for any mistakes, proofreading a 16k chapter is really hard.  
> I hope you enjoy

"Welcome back, sir. Did you enjoy your trial honeymoon?" Yuuri takes wider steps with faster pace, rushing himself to go ahead of Phichit before he catches the hint of amusement on his lips in reaction to his joke. Of course Phichit won't let him live. Trial honeymoon!

"Thank you Phichit. I really enjoyed it." Yuuri replies casually, his voice still betrays him. 

"Bet you can't wait for the real one, hope you took lots of photos, hope others didn't though." Phichit quickens his pace as well to catch up with Yuuri, energetic and cheerful as ever.

"Victor took lots of them, I'll ask him to send some for your shipping pleasures." He glances at him from the corner of his eye, and he sees his victorious fist in the air. Funny enough that Yuuri didn't even tell him that he would be with Victor, as if Phichit needs to be told anyway, he's the most knowledgeable about Yuuri's schedule, and vague vacation days were enough evidence for a guess.

It's even funnier how much he's rooting for his relationship with Victor, like they're his favorite pairing from a drama to watch. Sure their story is dramatic and interesting enough. It also spreads warmth in his chest, that not just Phichit but also Yuri, Otabek, Chris...the few people who are aware of their relationship are strongly supportive of it. Because honestly they represent half of the people he's familiar with in his life, the other half is obviously his family, who are the complete opposite of supportive.

"So, has world war three started yet?" Yuuri asks casually when they get to the car.

Phichit immediately gets the reference, placing the suitcase in the trunk, he shakes his head as he heads to the driver's seat. "Not till the next month at least. Nothing to fear in the meantime, unless Mrs Katsuki of course spilled the beans to her in-laws, but we know she's not into that sort of beef so we cool."

Yuuri follows inside the car, letting out a low chuckle "I wonder if she actually does, what will she say?"

"Most probably my husband is having a vacation with his boyfriend in London as we speak." Yuuri reacts too well to this joke, the parallels between this and Victor's ones, Yuuri's sure there's a spiritual bond between them. "I gotta say, boss, telling your wife with your whole chest that you have a boyfriend...using the exact same word to her is definitely a b-"

Yuuri interrupts him, "I swear Phichit if you say 'Big dick energy' one more time, I'm calling the HR on you for inefficiency and be ready to find another job. Stop with the excessive social media slangs already, you weren't like that. What's wrong with you?"

"Jeez I was just about to say a bold move, you're tough Mr Katsuki. Anyway, the tea is you're a gay legend. My wig jumped out of the window, we stan."

"Phichit!" Yuuri groans. "You really want me to fire you so bad, don't you?" 

"I mean it'll be useless to keep this job anyway after you're gone."

Yuuri stops, looking at Phichit in fondness. "How loyal of you, I'm touched." He replies half jokingly, half serious.

"Nah it's just I don't see myself working with miss Mari Katsuki, no offence." Of course! It's obvious she's the one who will be voted by the board to take his position, it's really a win win situation for both of them. At least she won't bother him anymore. 

"Come on Phichit, I know you'll do just fine with her her. In fact, maybe I need you beside her, to add a little fun to her life, she severely lacks it." 

"Well I would like to keep my head, she'll slay me if I make a joke. No, thank you."

"Right, cause who will take your jokes better than me?"

"Oh my god, imagine if she closes a deal and when I try to congratulate her!" 

"By saying wig, of course." 

"She'll be like, that's not a wig, that's my hair dumb bitch, and she'll make a phone call ordering to...skin him alive."

"I know to tend to exaggerate everything, but wish you were exaggerating about that for real."

"You know it's just a fact, I don't think I'm ready to work for lady dragon." 

Yuuri snorts and throws him a funny look. "Shut up. I'm still against you quitting your job, you won't find something better than that."

"I mean you won't find something better than that as well and you're quitting already, so why not me?"

"You don't think Victor is better than everything?" Yuuri questions smugly, causing Phichit's eyed to bug out of their orbits, cooing in awe of his boss' romantic words.

"Right, not all of us are that lucky! Congratulations for that, sir." 

Yuuri answers with a proud smile, focusing on typing a text on his phone, to Victor of course, informing him with his arrival.

"I've been meaning to ask, sir, and hope you don't mind answering. But how do you feel about living life at fullest? And by that I mean throwing your current life in the trash to start a fresher one."

Yuuri huffed out a puff of air, nervousness overtaking his features in response to the question. He raises his eyebrows imagining what's waiting for him. "To be honest, I'm anxious to death, I've never been this scared, but it's a good feeling. Exciting and liberating, it's like planning a grand escape with high chances of success, but still there's a room for failure. But as you said, it's living life at its fullest."

"Won't you miss your company, your dear employees?" 

"No, I don't like you that much."

Phichit gasps, betrayed, drawing a good laugh out of Yuuri. "Of cours! I'm not a silver haired Greek-Russin God to earn your affections."

Yuuri shakes his head. "Don't even compare yourself to him." 

To Yuuri's entertainment, Phichit whines and nags at him for the rest of the drive until they make it home, Yuuri is thankful to finally arrive and get rid of the piercing headache that is Phichit.

Yuuri is coldly welcomed by his "wife" with a formal greeting. After taking a long sins cleansing bath, he's invited by her to an elegant dinner prepared by the cook at her request. She's sort of kind.

Except when she's not shooting him daggers in the silence of their eating. Usually, their shared time is spent in relative peace, more like awkward dissociation, they interact only when necessary, out of human nature. So he can't say they are on the best terms ever for a contract couple, barely good friends in a temporary company. But Yuuri notices she tends to sound sharply mean and aggressive whenever she's reminded of her husband's "boyfriend". Yuuri isn't sure what she holds against Victor, but he can tell she isn't a big fan of him. So maybe Yuuri lied a little when Victor asked him if she had accepted their relationship. Yuuri is well aware of her resentment to their relationship, which she doesn't even have the right to.

Is it jealousy? Envy? But why would she be? Their agreement was clear from the beginning and Yuuri hasn't shown her any sort of indication that there's a potential to change that. Has she grown a sort of emotion toward him or something? Or is it that sense of possession that every businessperson owns? Like she needs to claim ownership of Yuuri since he's already her husband, and it's kind of humiliating that he has a "mistress?" he favors over her. But Yuuri has gone through too much drama in the past couple of years to ask for more, so let her be. 

"Did you enjoy your vacation?" Her plastic smile doesn't falter for a bit, although Yuuri can spot the hint of grudge in her eyes. It's almost hilarious.

"I did. Thank you." Here, a final answer abolishing any room for awkward small talks.

"What did you do?" She's insistent then. Is she interrogating him or what? It's starting to get on his nerves. 

Okay, she's asking for it. "Not much, mostly staying at the hotel room with my Victor." Emphasis on "my", Yuuri smirks, satisfied to see the trained plastic smile failing to conceal her surprised frustration.

She maintains the fake smile anyway, mirroring Yuuri's smirk. "Oh I bet you did, with a man like that it's easier to stay glued to the bed..." This time, it's Yuuri's smirk that drops, hers getting only bolder. "I mean it's been long since you last saw each other, and longing only increases the passion, makes things spicier." She throws him an obnoxious wink.

But Yuuri isn't going to give it to her, he can play her game. "Things were indeed passionate and spicy enough, but it's always been like that with Victor. Our passion never dies down even when we are stuck by each other's sides twenty four seven." He hopes she doesn't push him further into diving deeper in his intimate life with Victor. The last thing he wants to is to boast his sexual activities with his "boyfriend" to his supposed "wife". 

Sophia almost spits out her sip of wine along with her snort. She presses a napkin to her tainted lips, still smiling. "As much as it sounds exciting, but god knows it'll get boring in the end. I hope that's not the only thing you have with your partner. I mean you seem quite inexperienced Yuuri, and such things might be a bit fascinating in the beginning, but trust me, these things only can't be the basis of a healthy relationship, especially a one you're already sacrificing and dedicating much to it."

Wow, of all the people he has expected to give such predictable talk, it's her, who has absolutely no business nor a solid familiarity with him, that says that. Yuuri is a little taken aback. "And what exactly are "these things" that you're referring to as a basis of my relationship?" 

"You know what I mean...umm... Your chemistry with your partner, your sensual life...the sex. Don't get me wrong, I accidentally stumbled upon those infamous photos of you too in a...compromised situation, and I can tell you have great chemistry together, but this is can't be the only thing that makes you a successful couple."

"And what exactly...can make us a successful couple? Enlighten me, please." Yuuri's undeniably being sarcastic now, and Mrs Sophia Katsuki is starting to fidget, her bold smile is immediately replaced by an innocent wary expression.

"Pardon me if I'm crossing the line, I consider you as a dear friend, and I think it's okay if we have that sort of conversation." She's sensing his irritation.

But Yuuri isn't bothered with her fake apology, instead he shakes his head, grinning. "It's okay of course, please, continue. You were saying...the basis of a healthy relationship..." He takes a sip from his drink, resting his chin to his hand while attentively gazing at her, listening in interest.

Ensured by his response, she easily drops the fake concern and wears a good looking preaching face. "I mean...a healthy relationship is between two equal adults who are able to communicate on the intellectual and emotional levels, who have similar mindsets in dealing with serious issues, and able to talk their ways into solutions. They have common ground to stand on, deeper bonds and interests, rather than a passing moment of pleasure. They're aware of each other's flaws, understanding and accepting. They help each other progress and grow, rather than hindering each others and asking for compromises.Together they are better, to themselves and to the society."

If Yuuri is impressed, he successfully doesn't show it all, because honestly she summed it up really well as written in the book. It's exactly everything that he and Victor lacked a year ago, but fortunately, they figured it out. And he won't give her the pleasure of being right, not even in the past. 

Yuuri huffs in apparent boredom, keeping his face blank. "So you just assumed that my relationship with Victor isn't like that?"

His subtle accusatory tone shakes her a little, embarrassing her. She still plays innocent. "Absolutely not, I didn't assume that. You asked and I answered." 

Yuuri leaned back to his chair, crossing his arms. "But you did imply that I'm too naive to understand the "basis of a healthy relationship" because, quoting you, I seem quite inexperienced." She opens her mouth to fix the situation, but Yuuri gestures to stop. "Anyway, thank you for the informative lecture, but allow me to say Sophia, your relationships must be boring. I assure you, Victor and I share this kind of relationship you're preaching about, but on top of that we also have love. You were probably taught that love is a childish myth belongs to fairytales, but surprisingly, it's not. And you're really missing a lot, maybe you'll get that lucky someday."

Yuuri stands up, marking the end of the meal, ending the course with his own dish. "Also, I can have a healthy relationship and great sex with your partner, but looks like you only have one at a time." And that's Yuuri's dessert.

Enraged and provoked, Yuuri locks himself in his room, planning to have another talk with Sophia once he's calmer, mean point of the talk is simply "fuck off my life", with few polite remarks on how they can't be friends. His mind is puzzled by her attitude tonight. It has been clear that she dislikes his ties with Victor, as I'd she has the right to like or dislike, but she always avoids that topic altogether. Sophia is rational and practical, also nice and understanding, she made a very good deal and no gain from breaking it. So what did suddenly change to make her act like a petty jealous wife?

Does she plan to keep Yuuri as her husband for the sake of her image and benefit? Yuuri already explained his plan to her, that he'll no longer be a part of their household name, they have a contract with terms and regulations to end this marriage as agreed to. So what is she thinking? Oh, maybe she thinks she has the right to barge into his life and add her two cents judging him and his love life, because clearly he's "naive" and "inexperienced" and doesn't know what he's getting himself into. At thirty, people around Yuuri still think it's their right to tell him what to do, to boss him around and expect him to comply, because Yuuri is a smart man, he's a good man and he make such a mistake.

At thirty, people around Yuuri call his own choice a mistake, and they still view the most precious thing to him as a mistake, does he even need these people on his life? Why can't they see his Victor as an equal? Why can't they treat their relationship with respect? Why can't they leave him happy? It's enough. He owes none an explanation for his choices and decisions, and he won't allow more obstacles to grow between him and Victor. God knows he's had enogh.

The far cry of his cellphone draws him back to the world, and with one look on the caller's ID, all the heated irritation and annoyance are washed over with the cool splash that is Victor's name. 

Like a giddy teenager calling his crush, Yuuri lays on his bed with the phone on his ear and the dumbest smile on his face. "Baby boy, miss you already!"

He chuckles when he's greeted with a lazy yawn, Victor must be calling once he's waken up. "Miss you more Yuuri. I dreamed of you all night, all sweet diabetic dreams I need insulin."

"You're horrible, stop sleep flirting and get up already."

"Oh I'm already up, wanna get me down?" Yuuri's cheeks heat up on hearing the seductive voice murmuring the obvious innuendo. But it's funny as well so it doesn't have much effect on him.

"What are you exactly suggesting?" He answers mischievously, winking before remembering it's a phone call and he Victor can't see him.

"I could really make use of some lazy morning phone sex." Victor says bluntly straight to the point. But Yuuri is totally the opposite of aroused. "Why are you laughing now? Am I not sexy enough?" Victor complains, offended.

"Honestly baby boy, I just remembered when you had phone sex...literally." Yuuri has a hysterical fit while he can hear Victor fidgeting in mortification. 

"That phone was annoying as fuck and I had to teach it a lesson for taking you away from me. And if went back in time, I would do it again!" 

Flipping on his stomach, Yuuri sighs. "Honestly that phone was blessed with the honor of you fucking it, I'm really jealous."

"Aw Yuuri, please don't be jealous from that stupid phone. I still don't get how you're still using that disgusting phone after what I did to it."

"I mean I'm still using my own body after all you did to it." Yuuri smiles hearing the loud burst of laughter, sweetest sound to his ears. If Yuuri dies at this moment, he'll die the happiest. Nothing he needs more than Victor's happy laughter that immediately sinks into his heart landing there like a home. He can't imagine a life without this sound, without the existence of his Victor. They can try to pull them apart, but only if they are death itself.

********

At the corner of his spacious room, stands his mother crossed arms, with signs of disapproval shrinking her face. Victor avoids her sulking and goes on with his mission, scanning his room carefully to count and mark his necessary belongings. Victor relatively doesn't have much now compared to what he used to own before, he lost interest in collecting and stopped his crazy shopping sprees long ago. He used to like pampering himself with elegant and expensive brands of clothing, accessories, shoes, toiletries, make up, and beauty products. His brief career as a model enhanced his addiction even more, and living with Yuuri was the peak for the addiction. Until the downfall of his life when Victor generally lost interest in everything. But now he's regained his healthy lifestyle, Victor still likes looking nice and dressing nice, but in more rational and economic ways now. 

Now things are more tamed and humble for him, he's been forced to rationalize before, but now he's choosing it. Victor already lost his privileges few times, when he was kicked out of his house, when moved to New York, and when he left Yuuri, each time he started at zero. Now he's willingly moving out if his parents' grand house into a simpler place of his own, which is another progress in his journey. It's not the first time to rent an apartment and live on his salary, but conditions are much better now. It's different from the awful communal apartment in the suburb he used to live in when he was kicked out, and different from the pathetic one room studio he occupied in New York. This one is easy accommodate at, well furnished, at a good quiet neighborhood, and its rent will eat only half of his current pay, but he already loves it.

It's not just his desire to live willingly independent away from his parents, this time he's getting it right though. But this home is going to be his and Yuuri's. The thought of them living together again makes his heart dance in his chest and almost jump out of it in glee. And it's crazy unbelievable how they come to this, and how Yuuri is going to actually relocate here, with him...for him! Life in a modest standard St Pertersburg apartment is nothing like the glamour of a penthouse on top of New York's highest skyscrapers. It's insane the things Yuuri is giving up for him, like a king renouncing the throne to go live down in a cottage with a commoner.

Life in Saint Petersburg isn't like in New York, aside from the luxury and elite lifestyle of Yuuri that he'll be missing here, life here is more...depressing. Sure the city is a historical beauty and architectural wonder, it's beautiful the eyes and can be lively, but it lacks the vastness of diversity that of New York or Tokyo, it's cold most of the year, dark and gloomy most of the days. The economic and political situations here aren't that pretty, even if they are distant to that. So Victor is really concerned enough how well Yuuri will adjust to life here. And he has every right to anxious, because what if Yuuri finds it underwhelming, unworthy of his sacrifices, what if he regrets it later? 

No matter how many times Yuuri reassures him, these dark ideas and expectations twirl and crawl into his mind like venomous snakes, hissing devilishly and poisoning his thoughts. Victor prays it doesn't get that bad, and at least if Yuuri decides to end this at anytime, he hopes they end it on good terms, no ugly endings again, sad maybe, but not ugly please.

Victor shakes his head shaking out with it all the poisonous thoughts filling his head. A small reminder from the back of his mind that as there's a chance for failure there's a more probable or at least equal chance of success, and in the darkness of his anxiety the hopeful ray of hope grows bigger as he thinks about living with Yuuri again. 

Together in their shared home where they're both residents, and Victor won't have to feel like a guest or a kept toy. They're going to have neighbors next doors, and they won't have to hide from them, because they'll be livino together as partners, people will actually see they're a couple. They'll be able to freely hold hands while going out, they won't shy away from strangers and acquaintance when they encounter them in each other's company. Hell they'll even won't have shame and flash their sappy PDA upfront and openly. They won't mind the other eyes judging them and their relationship. Living together in one cozy home, getting all domestic and natural, like normal couples. Cleaning up, cooking, shopping, all together without reliance on service or house workers. Like a family with their beloved Makkachin. Oh God, can Yuuri come already? Victor's impatience is unbearable.

"You're smiling like an idiot now, you know?" Right! His mother is still standing her ground eyes working hard expressing, from going all puppy and adorable in silent pleas to glaring arrows into the cursed hard heart of her only son. Victor, filling boxes with his posesstions and fantasising about living with Yuuri, forgot for a moment the existence of his mama. 

"Just...remembered something." Victor walks over to her, a soft dazzling smile on his face, might it affects her. "Please mama, I've made my decision and I won't change my mind, no matter how much you ask me. I'm moving out, so please accept my wish and help me pack my stuff."

He takes her hand squeezing it gently, but she doesn't drop the stupporn pout on her lips that he thinks he must have inherited it from her. He knows it works wonders on Yuuri in his own benefit, he hopes his mama doesn't use the same magic against her.

"And I see it's not necessary at all to live on your own when we have this big house, especially when it's going to end up yours anyway. It's meaningless to move out to some basic apartment when you have all this."

"Mama, mama... My sweet loving mamushka, I know it's big and it's gonna be mine someday, but right now I prefer to live at my own place. You know my own kingdom, my rules! I get to do what I want, I get to change what I want, sleep and eat at any time... Wander naked all over the place with no shame." Victor changes his tone into lighter funnier one, but she still isn't having it..

"Bullshit, you can do whatever you want here and you know that, even papa won't mind! You know I won't mind if you wander naked if that's what bothering you about living here?"

"What?! No mama! I don't want to wander naked on front of you. Listen, it's perfectly normal for an adult to fly out the comfy nest of their beloved parents and build their own nests, you know...this is life..." He shrugs, smiling. 

"No not really."

"Mama, I want to have a boyfriend around, okay?"

"We don't mind bringing a boyfriend here, the house is big enough to contain your scandalous moaning without feeling embarrassed about it." 

"Mama!" Victor exclaims, his shoulder droop tired from the argument. "It's not even the first time..."

"That's exactly why you shouldn't do it again, the last time you lived on your own we almost lost you. You're incapable of living on your own!" She snaps at him, and it's really hurtful. 

Victor gazes at her for a while, he can immediately see regret washing over her. "I'm not incapable. It's humiliating how little you think of me, mama." 

"Vitya..." Alina breaths out his name with deeper regret, she takes him in an apologetic hug. "I'm sorry, darling, I didn't mean it this way. In fact, I want to apologize for many things." 

Victir takes his mother's hand, leading hero be seated and he sits by her, he knows it's another conversation that has been put off for too long, and it's time for it. Because Victor has partially resolved things with his father, but not yet with his mother.

"I didn't mean it this way at all, I know you're much stronger and independent, Vitya. And you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself without relying on anybody. That's why you don't have to prove anything to anyone, not your father, not me, not the rest of the world. You don't have to feel ashamed or little that you're living with us, we're family and we're here to support you. I'm just so worried about you, I don't wish to see you in the same state I found you in last year. I knows this likely won't happen again, but I can't help but feel so protective of you, what if you need someone? What if you get lonely?

Victor holds her hand, assuring her. "I understand all your concerns, but you should know that it's my real wish. I'm not trying to prove anything, I just want to settle in a place on my own. And you don't have to worry about me being lonely, I'll still visit you often, I have many great friends now, and I...might have a partner as well."

A faint smile grows on her face as he mentions his love interest, Victor is yet to tell then that he's back with Yuuri. "I'm glad to hear that. I'm really sorry Vitya, for...for thinking of you the way I used to. I underestimated you greatly and I'm sure it caused you much harm. To be honest, I used to see you as delicate person who must be treated with caution, who won't survive the real world. When you...were forced to leave, I died a million times thinking about the world eating you alive and chewing your flesh and crushing your bones, you being too helpless and weak to handle this."

It's hard to watch her pretty blue eyes pooled in tears like this as she recalls the past, Victor wishes to stop her crying, to hold her and tell her all is fine. Although he has blamed her for many things, he now can understand her perspective. 

"It was natural for me to pray you find someone to rely on without taking advantage of you or mistreating you. I know it's wrong, but I couldn't help but wishing for someone fulfilling your needs, I didn't mean to degrade you back then darling. I'm so sorry I couldn't get it right. And to be honest I was so happy when you told me about your...Yuuri, because you talked about him with much love, and when we met I saw the way he looked at you and god... I could see you were crazy about each other. So I thought all my wishes came true, you secured yourself a comfortable life with a nice man...

"And then I almost lost you... I realized no one could be of help better than yourself. For too long I thought I was protecting you from the world, while I should have prepared you to face it. But I had an excuse... I struggled with poverty and starving, I was deprived from having a child for too long...then life got easier... And I finally had you, of course I was entitled to give you the best life I could manage. I was wrong yes, but please understand my reasons Victor...and forgive me."

Victor gives her the softest smile he can mange, ensuring her forgiveness. "It's okay mama. I understand. I, too, acted too childishly I blamed you for everything when I've my own mistakes, because even if I was raised wrong, I still failed on my own. It's not completely your fault." 

Alina sighs in relief, closing her eyes for a moment as she sniffles and wipes her face dry with her cashmere blouse sleeve so unladylikely. "But you have to know that I'm the most proud mother in the world, for all you've done on your own, for helping yourself stand again after your dreadful fall." 

" I couldn't have time that without you." He admits with another hug. Another heavy burden is off his chest.

After moments of recovery, they try to regain their lighthearted humor with few jokes. Then back to the main issue... 

"So mama, are you fine with me moving out?" Victor asks hopefully with his cutest puppy eyes imitation. 

"No." She replies sternly.

"Mama!" Victor whines, feet stomping in protest. "I wasn't asking for permission anyway, I'm twenty four!" 

"No you're not! Oh god, when this even happened?"

"I know, right? I can't believe I'm already this old!"

"Shut up you're not even old!" She chuckles, then smirks. "But I guess you're old enough to have boys over."

"Okay, but I've been doing that since I was literally sixteen!" 

"Then you admit to have bringing your lovers here, what's changed now that you want a private home to bring them? Victor I literally walked on you with two guys at once, in a very creative position as I recall.."

"Mama!" Victor shouts in horror, all blood escaping to his face throbbing in his ears. "I'm not really very proud of my past, and not of this particular incident. I tired to bury this memory forever, yet you still bring it up, how was really that shameless?!" 

"Oh sweetie don't be shy, you were-"

"Can we please just drop this now?"

"Okay okay. But I won't drop the fact that you want to bring a lover home. I demand to know more about that."

Victor instantly blooms like a flower nourished by the mention of his lover. He still needs to tell her. "I will tell you soon, I promise."

"Won't you give me a hint? Is it safe to assume there's someone."

Smiling coyly, he nods. "There's someone."

"Oh darling! I'm happy to know that, it's a relief to see you happily in a relationship again m cause honest you didn't seem to take your break up with...him very well."

She has no idea...

"What's in the past is past, and I'm focusing on the present more now. And currently, I'm happy." Yes, he can say it now, for real.

"And I'm even happier that you're happy."

"Help me pack?" 

She gives up and agrees. Things couldn't be better with his family.

*******

Unfortunately, the same can't be said about Yuuri. Things are disastrous with his family, his parents, his dear sister, and his so called wife who's now counted as family. Yuuri's plan doesn't really go accordingly as he put it, he needed the time to prepare mentally to at least handle all the backlash he's to be met with, now he doesn't even have the chance to. For everything has fast forwarded despite his own will, and suddenly Yuuri is in his office feeling so little as he stands timidly clasping hands waiting for his father to enter, like a troubled child waiting to get scolded. 

When Yuuri had the almost-quarrel with Sophia, he did expect some changes in their neutral relationship, to divert a little into a cold nemesis between them, something of a lowkey cold war where they silently resent each other. Foolish as he is, he didn't see it coming, that a disagreement with her could actually induce her to declare world war three, with a strong alliance against him, aka his family. He had no idea how petty and pathetic she could be, bitter enough to expose their deal and his near intentions to his father. It's senseless, because this won't change anything but rushing the consequences which he has already expected. It just shows how ugly and ruthless she is, like he had a clue when she first badmouthed his relationship with Victor, but he didn't think it would go to this extend.

The week following their clash was spent in avoidance of her like she was the plague, and if Sophia showed anything, it was her cool carefree side, as if nothing wrong had happened. She showed no signs of ill intentions all, so Yuuri was unassuming as he shrugged off the issue, settling on keeping the same strategy of ignorance until the end of their deal, which was close by nature. Things couldn't possibly go worse if they didn't interact at all.

So Yuuri is struck by lightning with the arrival of Katsuki Toshiya at his office on one cloudy morning. Toshiya never visits New York branch without prior notification. Toshiya has never visited since the opening of the branch. And now he does.

Yuuri almost has a cardiac arrest when he's informed that his father is indeed surprisingly here. Yuuri's gut feeling warns him with the possibility of his father coming all this way suddenly to cut ties with him, after gaining knowledge somehow (his gut feeling tells him it's Sophia) about his upcoming eccentric...deviated choices. 

A panic attack isn't the response of choice, breaking down will only make the mater worse, and going blackout seems wonderful. Yet, Yuuri has grown a particular distaste for easy escapes, it cost him much in the best. In the moments between receiving the news and the knock on the door, hid brain operates remarkably fast, and it presents to him the perfect solution. Confrontation. Because honestly isn't this his plan anyway?

In fact, this even seems a more extraordinary plan, instead of rotting in anxiety waiting restlessly for the board meeting to confess his high treason and receive his execution, his father, kindly, is saving him from the public humiliation in front of every important person he knows and he's ending this now. As the head of the family, the chairman, the major shareholder, and the ruler of the great empire, Toshyia has the right to say the court and judge, and behead him immediately. Yes, it's much better this way. Dying is easier than waiting for a sure painful death.

Yuuri has always been intimidated by his own father, much like anyone else working with or for him. And although age makes him a little approachable now like a lovely grandfather, his overall posture and facial expression are still giving him the unnerving halo surrounding him. It's fascinating how this dread and fear overpower the natural feeling of love that Yuuri is supposed to hold for his father by instinct. Maybe he has grown desensitized to this kind of familial love. 

After exchanging a cold greeting with a generous space between their erect figures, his father raises his hand in gesture stopping him from any unnecessary talks or early justifications. "I believe you have an idea why I'm here now." His father starts, and Yuuri can't lie, he nods. What if he's wrong though? What if his father came here for a completely other purpose?

"I'm going to ask calmly, and you answer my questions without much unnecessary babbling, understood?"

Yuuri struggles to find his voice but he manages to let out a strangled "Yes, father." 

"Do you have an arrangement with your wife, stating that you end your marriage after a given date, in return of half of your possessions?" Of course it's her. 

"Yes." 

He maintains the same unreadable expression. "And are you intending to quit?" 

"Yes." 

"And you know exactly the consequences of these decisions?" 

"Yes." 

A look of disgust overtakes his face now, shaking his head in disappointment. "Are you still carrying on an affair with that Russian?"

"Yes."

"While having a wife?" This time he loses his cool, voice raised angrily, with a genuine nausea on his face.

"She knows! I was honest with her from the beginning and it was part of our agreement, I didn't trick her nor did I cheat on her."

"I don't care if you're faithful to her or not. I only care that after all this, you're still seeing him, you're still having this shameful affair with someone like him... After all the damage he caused you and we worked hard to cover. All this for chasing a cheap pleasure with an unhonorable male prostitute-"

"Father I beg you to stop that at once!" Yuuri loses all his sense when it comes to offending Victor. "Don't throw him any false accusations, he's a great person and I won't allow you to degrade him like this. Father, I'm sorry for everything and I will tolerate everything but disrespecting the man I love and appreciate the most." 

Toshyia gasps couching his chest like having a real heart attack, face scarlet and damp with sweat like he's on the verge of rupturing an aneurysm. He shakes his head in denial, mouth still agape. "You're really saying this to me? I gave you a second chance after your fatal mistake, just because you are my son, and you still abuse my trust and repeat your mistake, with even more persistence? You're going to give up everything you own and you've achieved this simply because of a childish delusion?"

Overcome by shame, Yuuri drops his eyes to the ground, legs easily giving up and he kneels before his father. "Please forgive me, father. I'm will aware of my actions, and I will take whatever punishment I deserve..." Like scalding waterfalls of boiling water, his hot tears run down instantly and profusely on his cheeks, choking in his voice. "I'm sorry for failing you and my family, but I can't... I can't go back to the lifeless cold man I used to be, I can't die inside again. I wish to live...to love." 

Yuuri is sure that his sentimental confessions won't have the slightest effect on his father, his pure emotions won't spare him from the wrath and fury of the stone hearted man. But Yuuri lets himself go, the dark feelings that have accumulated on the course of almost twenty five lifeless years are like a beast in slumber for all these years, and today is his awakening. 

"I was born as business expansion, a future investment, I was raised to grow into another money making machine, an heir to run a multibilion empire. Never had a moment of love and compassion from the people who brought me to the world and honestly..." Yuuri stops. His head moves up until he faces the transparent glass ceiling, looking directly into the cloudy sky above him, exhaling deeply and cheaply driving all the stress saturated air out of his lungs. He looks at the blurry figure of his father, eyes still dripping on his pants. "I'm tired." He finishes.

He isn't expecting a comforting fatherly hug from him, but he surely doesn't expect the blow hitting the side of his face either. Everything occurs too fast to register, but the burning still on his cheek, the warm irritation he touches there, the deafening echo in his ear, and the glasses knocked off his nose tossed on the floor nearby are enough evidences of the slap. Yuuri was never slapped in his life, not before this moment. 

When he recovers his senses, hand still covering the angry inflamed heated cheek, he looks up at his father's face above him. And thinking about it, maybe slapping him is the most fatherly thing he's ever done to him in his life. With the realization, Yuuri shockingly accepts the slap in gratitude, he retracts on his knees several steps backward, and properly he bows down spreading his upper body to the floor, head touching down the rough carpet, all submissive and respecting in a perfect traditional dogeza, Yuuri apologizes silently.

Then he'd seized by the shoulders, pulled up and forced to stand on his legs facing the betrayed face of his father, he can see his eyes burning with intense fire, and the hurt look magnifying second by second. "Of all the people I trusted in the world, you were the last person I had imagined to disappoint me, Yuuri. I expected great things from you...greater than anything." 

Yuuri isn't crying anymore, but he stands defenseless, immobile, and numb. "I'm sorry..." He says meaninglessly. 

"I provided you with everything I could, I made you the man you're today, yet so selfishly you let me down...let your entire family, heritage, and origins down. For what? For a stupid fantasy? You want to lose everything...your status, your power, your money, your family, your name...the Katsuki name, then win what?" 

"Myself..." He answers hoarsely, it sounds dramatic, pretentious, but Yuuri has never been more honest in his life than at this moment.

Toshyia let's go of his shoulders, much as letting a drowning person into sea to be consumed by the waves. He needs no saving, his father realizes. And he turns his back to him, walking fee steps away from him, adding a space of hundreds miles between the two of them. Then he turns again to look at him, wearing the cruelest expression, and points at him.

"You lose your job, your shares, your assets, your home, your right to inherit...everything. I'm giving you a rare chance to revise your choice..."

"I've made my choice. I choose myself... I choose Victor." Yuuri says weakly, words heavy as they roll off his tongue.

"Then I don't wish to see your face again after the next major board meeting in Tokyo, where you official hand your resignation. And finish all your urgent commitments as soon as possible, you're not needed in this company anymore."

It's over, it's already over. 

Once his father exits the office, Yuuri collapses on the floor, blinking rapidly with the frantic pace of his fluttering heart. This feels too surreal to absorb, it feels like a lucid dream where he experiences everything physically, yet it's unreal. But it's real and it's already over and Yuuri is breathing and living. 

Phichit and Yuri together immediately hurry over to him, one of them picks up his glasses and gives them to him, the other presents to him a glass of water. They help him move to be seated, repeating inquiries of concern. 

Few minutes in heavy silence pass, Phichit and Yuri are exchanging looks, eyeing their silent boss in real worry. Meanwhile Yuuri is staring into nothing, his eyebrows furrowing in concentration, but breathing appears to be a great effort for him.

Yuuri is just replaying the past hour, revisiting every word said, assessing and analyzing the situation and its consequences, expecting what's ahead of him, his mind is running and spinning like an unstoppable machine. And when he comes to a conclusion, a slow smile tugs on his lips, Yuuri has done it. He confronted his father and the hardest part is already over. Yuuri can sigh in relief now.

"I'm...not your boss anymore." Yuuri tells his assistants, they're surprised, a little confused. "I'm not your boss anymore." Yuuri repeats, chuckling a little to himself.

Maybe they're wondering if he's gone mad now, but Yuuri doesn't care. He's one step away from being with his lover for the rest of his life.

But still one thing is bothering him. 

"I have to go somewhere now, I need to take care of something." Yuuri tells his assistants.

"But you still have important appointments for the rest of the day." When Yuri protests, Yuuri has already stood up and headed to the door.

With his back still to them, he shouts, "It's okay, I'll be back shortly." Then he turns his face again to them, still leaving, a bright smile adorning his face. "Or not... I'm fired anyway." 

Wow this feels so liberating, to the point he practically runs out of the building not in hurry but in freedom. Yuuri knows he'll come back again today, and the next few days, but only to cut every string attaching him to this place. It's his responsibility to make the transition of the management as smooth as possible to make things easier for the next elected CEO, but he no longer has an authority to make decisions or to act on new matters, he's technically still working, but he's fired. And damn this feels amazing!

Yuuri arrives at his "wife's" workplace, asking to meet her, giving her the same kind of surprised he received a while ago. He knows he looks messy, his suit disheveled and tie crooked, hair ruffled sticking out in all the places in waxed streaks, face smeared with traces of dried tears, and his cheek is still pained angry red evident of the slap. But he has no mind to adjust his untidy look, although he would prefer to appear more prestigious and authoritative at his showdown against Sophia.

"Yuuri, why are you here? Is there something wrong?" She plays dumb and innocent and shes good at it. Yuuri doesn't let her leave her desk, he needs her seated and himself standing for domination purposes. 

He clutches the edge of the desc, leaning down to her. "What did you gain from this?" He asks in a husky voice, eyes piecing deeply into her soul, dramatic enough but effective. He can already sniff her distress once she detects her trouble.

"What do you mean? I don't understand."

"Don't waste your time, you know what I mean. My father...you called him, Sophia." 

She doesn't flinch, maintain a bold eye contact with him as if she doesn't feel an ounce of guilt for outing their private deal. Sophia isn't an easy opponent, and he underestimated a lot. She has the audacity to betray him and look straight in the eye. 

"You thought you were going to change anything? I honestly don't understand, because everything I had expected to happen is exactly what happened, only a little earlier. So what did gain from this? A revenge for your pride? An attempt to change my mind?" 

She doesn't break their contact, only smiles to an inside joke only she knows about. "Only a little earlier. That's what I actually aimed for, maybe...I can't standing getting called Mrs Katsuki anymore."

Oh, of course. She's still winning, and she's even more eager to pick up her trophy, the earlier, the better. 

Yuuri smiles to himself in defeat, maybe he won against his family, but not against her. However it's an insignificant defeat. the loss is unsatisfying but unimportant. And Yuuri is just tired of fighting. He straightens up in surrender, casually adjusting his tie. "Thank you for your cooperation then." 

Can he count her surprised reaction to his gratitude as a win?

*********

"And the when's this meeting again?" Victor asks eagerly hugging the cellphone between his ear and shoulder with his hands busy whisking the eggs vigorously.

"Vitya, this is the hundredth time you ask me, in ten days! In ten daaaays!" Yuuri shouts comically over the phone, causing Victor to giggle. 

"I'm sorry baby, but you know how excited I'm. I've been counting days and I can't wait for time to pass faster and faster. I mean basically everything is set now! The hardest part is already over two weeks ago, you signed your divorce papers, you're sorting out your financial affairs, which is sad by the way since now you're much poorer, and only the official resignation is left. God is good god is good!"

Yuuri's laugh wraps Victor in incredible warmth like a soft blanket. "Aren't you going to change your mind now I'm poor and jobless?"

"What? No way! I'm going to make you my sugar baby and I'll spoil you over here with my average Russian income that I spend half of it on the rent. I'll bring you to live here at my modest one bedroom apartment on the sixth floor in the ancient building that has no working elevator. I mean it's cozy and lovely although the power goes out often and the rusty water pipes needs to be constantly fixed, but I'll make you feel like living in a mansion!" 

"Oh god, Victor are you sure you're okay at this apartment?" 

Victor laughs sheepishly. "Don't worry love. I'm really comfortable here. Although I'm a little worried about you unable to adjust living here." His voice is now more guilty. 

"You know I will live in the streets with you, right? Vitya my baby, I told many times I don't really care about the living conditions there, anywhere with you is the best for me." 

Doubts are still chasing him, torturing him with rational and irrational anxiety. "You know it's not as luxurious here as you are used to."

"You'll make it like a mansion for me." 

"It's really awfully brutally cold here."

"Good so we could cuddle together the whole time to keep me warm."

"We barely see the sun these days."

"You're my own personal sun, lucky me!"

Victor snorts loudly despite himself, can't help but howling. "When did you get this sappy? It's so cringey!"

"You've seen nothing yet, just wait till I come."

The promise is painfully exciting, Victor is about to roll on the floor like Makkachin does when he's extremely happy. 

"So what are you doing now? You've been gone for the whole day, and you won't video call me. And I really miss seeing your face."

"I'll send you a nude I took last night thinking about you." 

"Shut up!" When Yuuri obeys and no answer comes, Victor is confused by the sound of faint pantig. "Yuuri why are you panting?"

"Thinking about you takes my breath away." 

"I hate you!" Victor is sure his penetrated shout must have ruptured Yuuri's eardrum, but at least Yuuri is still laughing. 

"And what are you doing?" 

Heating up yesterday leftovers and making an ommlete. "Making dinner." Victor says, vague in his answer.

"Cooking! Oh sexy... What are you making?" 

"Food." Victor grins, teasing him.

"What are you wearing while cooking?" 

What kind of question is that? "Nothing." He puts his hand over his mouth, preventing a laugh from escaping.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"Wow..."

"You know I like to keep it natural, and having a private home is really liberating." 

"It's late December... Oh right, forget you're already hot."

Victor fails to hold in his laughter anymore, he laughs excessively until he can't breath, and Yuuri loves making him laugh. "Be careful not to cook the wrong sausage." His feet can't practically carry him anymore, Victor falls on his knees roaring until he finally calms down. And he just sits on the kitchen floor leaning his back to the counter, clutching his phone, and missing Yuuri.

"Say I'm with you right now... Beside your ass, what would you feed me?" 

Victor is too tired to laugh again, he hums, thinking. "I would cook you Katsudon." 

"Really? The last time you tried the lovely gesture didn't end too well." 

"So mean to me!" 

"Don't be upset baby boy you know I appreciate the effort, you know I tried to eat it."

"Yes and I felt really bad for you that we ordered takeout, so considerate, love." 

"But really, would you make me Katsudon now?" 

"Yes, I swear. I would make you the most delicious Katsudon in the world, I would hunt for the ingredients and stay the whole night to prepare it for you, I promise!"

"You promise, Victor?"

"I said I promise!"

"Well I'm really craving the bowl right now, so maybe you need to open your apartment door." 

Victor jumps on his feet, taking big steps to his door. "What do you mean Yuuri?"

Grabbing the door knob shakily, Victor is dying to open but hesitant, because fucking Yuuri Katsuki has raised his expectations too high reaching the sky that if reality doesn't meet them, he'll probably run naked in the negative something degrees snowy night losing his mind. Fuck you Katsuki if you're toying with his deprived heart. He gathers his courage and turns the knob to open possibly the door of heaven, because for real not a bait, standing there the most beautiful man in the world with most beautiful smile adorning his face, he's physically present in flesh, in all his glory, Yuuri! 

Panting slightly from the stairs, eyes lighting up with joy, he's here on Victor's door step, few snowflakes decorating his thick big coat and woolen scarf, gazing at Victor with all the love in the universe. "Six floors are too much, Vitya, you're daddy is not young anymore."

Victor squeals on hearing his voice, "I'll carry you on my back everyday till I die..." He breaths and instantly jumps on Yuuri ungracefully, wrapping his four limbs around the unbalanced man and toppling them over until they're in a second on the floor tangled in a bone crushing hug, squeeing the longing out of each other.

"Yuuri..." Victor calls in between the generous kisses he's peppering Yuuri's entire face on, making sure to place one loving kiss over every little inch of skin, his forehead, in between his eyebrows, over his eyelids, the bridge of the nose till the tip, all of his cheeks, the corners of his mouth, scattering an abundance of kisses of a year worth. Good thing that Yuuri's insight was to remove his glasses before or he would risk them smashing. Victor's body is adherent to Yuuri's and he notices the cold and dampness clinging from the merciless outer weather, but Yuuri's embrace is keeping him warmer than the sun.

"Vitya, miss you so much..." Yuuri replies, taking his face between his hands, and finalizing the kissing saga with one passionate kiss upon the mouth, connecting their lips with teeth clinking and tongues pushing in the moist warmth of each other. Slowly but thoroughly they devour each other's intoxicating tastes, moving their connected bodies in harmonious unison, completely out of the world that they are careless about any passing eye that can stumble upon their passionate reunion, since they are still in fact out of Victor's apartment on the hallway floor.

After what seems like forever, Victor finally pulls away, gazing down at his lover, Yuuri's eyes dancing with fire from their heated kiss. "What brought you now, silly? Didn't you have other important things to close off?"

"I finished what could be finished fast, and left the rest for later or for Phichit to handle, it's just pointless to waste more time away from you." Yuuri struggles to let out his words, because obviously their's heaviness on his chest obstructing his airways, which is Victor on top of him for about ten minutes. It's painful to tear away from him but Victor needs Yuuri alive, and Yuuri is grateful to breath again.

Standing up delirious and giddy like a drunk, when Victor regains his sense of equilibrium he offers his hand to Yuuri to help him up, and Yuuri just holds it with much love it sends small currents of electricity through Victor's arm. There's a lonely suitcase standing next to them, Victor drags it into his apartment and drags Yuuri with the other hand. The warmth inside is welcoming and tempting. Yuuri takes off his shoes and the extra layers of clothes, eyes roaming around the place in an adorable fascination. Victor waits patiently for a verdict, since this's Yuuri's home too. Oh god, it's their home now! The place is small, cozy, and simple, nothing impressive about it to attract Yuuri. The wall paint is old and falling off, the furniture is striped the practical basics, but Victor's hopeful his aesthetic touch is sufficient to beautify the place. 

After a good minute of scanning the living area and the open kitchen, Yuuri smiles warmly, nodding in approval. "It's good, you've added a cute touch on it. But I'm only disappointed by one thing..." Victor's heart falls. But Yuuri smiles wickedly. "why aren't you naked you liar?" 

Victor laughs, tilting his head with a seductive look. "This can easily be fixed, but unfortunately I'm bound to a promise of making a meal of Katsudon for you, and I need to collect the ingredients for you."

Yuuri walks up to him, his hands falling on Victor's waist, his touch send shuddering waves of heat across Victor's body even through his thick jumper. "What if I spare you from this heavy promise if you do naked cooking now without the cooking?"

Victor licks his lip. "I mean...instead of feeding you Katsudon I can always feed you my ass." 

"Yummy..."

In a second their lips lock, if their meeting kiss was passionate and filled with longing, this one is filthy and lustful, a revival for their decaying souls after days and weeks away from each other, after years of hurt and lost opportunities. It's their prize now for their patience and no hesitation to claim what's theirs. Lips moving and tongues maneuvering like an intimate dance to the beat of their pounding hearts, their hands slip beneath the sweated eager to caress the burning skin, the coolness of their hands sooth down the heat of their bodies.

Like floating in the air, their legs carry them to the bed calling for them, losing a piece of clothes with every step taken. Victor lays himself on the bed splayed all over it like an offering to his own god, whispering Yuuri's name like a prayer, and Yuuri answers for his call. Thy melt into each other to become a mess of kissing and groping and whimpering, exchanging moans and squeals and growls, all sorts of pleasured sounds.

They slowly make love taking all the time in the world, long gone the days when their loving intimacy were stolen moments feeling undeserved. No more hurry in fear of consuming the limited time they have, tonight they don't restrain themselves but still save some pleasures for tomorrow and the day after and the day after. Together they lose sense of time, their basic needs even, because just minutes before Yuuri's arrival Victor was preparing his dinner after a long day, but with Yuuri, Victor forgets all about something trivial as hunger for food, instead fulfilling his hunger to Yuuri's body.

During the afterglow overwhelmed by the euphoria, Victor is clinging to Yuuri, adoring his neck with his lips and tongue and teeth. 

"Can you see yourself living here with me?"

"Can I see anything else?"

"What are you going to do next?" 

"Be with you..."

"No, silly. I mean what are you going to do for a living?"

"I thought we agreed on this."

"Just making sure."

Which leaves one overwhelming task to Victor.

*******

"I sent the contract draft for the Moscow project and now we're waiting for their response. Also the marketing department sent their plan for your review, here it is." Victor places a folder in front of his father, earning a nod from him. "Is there anything else Mr Nikiforov?"

"Well done and don't be ridiculous Vitya, no one is here to call me that."

"Aw papa, so kind to me." Victor takes the seat next to the he desk, smiling pleasantly to him. "So there's something I want to talk about, concerning work of course. And I don't think you're busy to listen."

"I'm not. What is it Vitya?"

Victor taps his mouth with his finger, considering. He feels a little discouraged now he's doing it for real, and his father's reaction is unpredictable, even if their relationship is at its best now, there's still some caution. His proposal isn't exactly easy to take and he can imagine how silly it can sound. But he takes his shot, and if he dies, he dies.

"So I've been thinking Mr Korsacov is retiring soon due to his health, and I don't think you have a replacement for him, I mean there's a possibility to promote one of the company directors to take his position, but I know how sensitive it is and you're in need of someone trustworthy." 

Dimitri eyes him suspiciously. "Yes I'm still thinking about whom will his place, why do you have a canidadte?" 

"Well... I do recommend someone who can be perfect for this job. He's very experienced although he's really young, his qualifications are impressing, he was graduated from Harvard and has a master degree in business, worked for a major corporation as a CEO in the US, he knows five languages including Russian but still need a little practice, and he's practically an entrepreneurial genius." 

Victor his statement with a heart shaped smile, urging easiness into the conversation seeing the serious suspicion on his father's face who looks at him like a lunatic. Victor is worried that his father might be connecting some dots, he sweats under his heavy speculating gaze. He keeps his smile wide and sweet maybe it has some effect on him.

"So..." He starts, leaning forward closer to him, his radiating aura a little too bright to maintain an eye contact. "You're telling me an ex CEO will take this job...with all these qualifications?"

Victor laughs sheepishly, shrugging. "Um...yes?"

"What languages does he know?" 

Okay that's a trick question and Victor can't keep avoiding the identity reveal. " Um...Beside Russian which he's been learning for four years, he's fluent in English, Mandarin Chinese, French, and..." A sigh. "Japanese."

Huffing a laugh, an ironic one actually, Dimitri nods. He leans back in his chair crossing arms, amusement dancing on his face. "I know him, don't I?"

Biting his lower lip, Victor just shrugs in uncertainty. 

"What's his nationality?" 

Okay at this point his father is definitely toying with him for his entertainment, because why is he bothering with all these questions instead of directly asking who he is as he should do? 

"His resume is in the plan folder, you can open it and read all the information about him."

"Victor, you tell me. Who is he?" 

Swallowing nervously, he takes a deep breathe, eyes tightly shut. "Yuuri Katsuki."

"Victor?" He hears his father calling, no explosion no burst of rage, a simple calm call. Probably the calm before the storm. "Victor open your eyes and face me."

Victor reluctantly looks at him with pleading eyes, his father's expression is unreadable. "Now what do you expect me to do?"

"I'm ready to give you all the reasonable answers and you'll understand."

A laugh creeps out of his mouth, a humorless desperate laugh indicating only helplessness. "Victor, you do realize how this is absurd, right? I don't even know how to start. But I can summarize my feelings in an urge to strangle the shit out of you right now!"

"Papa I promise you'll understand, there's nothing wrong about this I promise."

"First of all, didn't you fucking break up with him? Isn't he married?"

"We broke up yes but we're back together, and yes he got married but he's also divorcing his wife. He didn't cheat on her with me, she knew about us back together few months ago, because their marriage was only a marriage of convenience, for a partnership between the two families, now they're technically divorced." 

"Waoh okay. That's too much to take in. Explain to me what's exactly the nature of your relationship with him, you never said anything about it and I didn't push you because I thought it was over, apparently it's not."

"I admit it started as something like a deal, but not the way you think I swear, we already liked each other when we got together, it's true he was spending money on me and supporting my living, but I swear he had much respect for me and it wasn't a...prostitution or something like that. We broke up because I caused him much trouble with his family, I was too dependent on him and I wasn't equal to him, like you said before. But we both love each other so much that we couldn't stay apart and few months ago, we agreed to start again, and now he's coming to live here in Saint Petersburg with me." 

"What about his job and his family?"

"He quit his job, and confronted his family. Yuuri doesn't want to be a part of their business anymore. And he's ready to start over again."

"You're telling me he's done all that for you?" 

"Not just for me. For himself, he's miserable papa, and he deserves to be happy. I'm also miserable without him, we need each other."

He shakes his head, seaming unconvinced. "I don't know, this is way too unrealistic to believe, it's like a childish fairytale. Are you telling me he's sacrificing his whole life to start from the zero in a while new country, after reaching that level of money and power? He must be mad, and I don't think he's even right for you."

"Papa please, don't make things this shallow, he's not crazy. He's perfectly fine, and it's his choice. He chose me, and I'm choosing him, whether you agree or not. We love each other for real, and we've suffered enough to realize how strong our love is. I know you're not terribly romantic but trust me, our love is real and unconditional, if the best for us was to break it off we would do it because we aim for each other's happiness." 

Dimitri is silent, still searching for an argument. Victor knows for a practical man of his rational mindset it all seems meaningless and immature. But Victor isn't asking for a permission from his father to date the boy from school he likes, Victor is an adult capable of making his own in choices, living as he pleases.

"Look at me, papa. Have I changed or haven't I? Please answer me. I'm not the person I was four years ago, I'm here working with you, learning from you, I'm living responsibly, I'm mature enough to make decisions. Do you agree?"

"Yes, I agree."

"Then can you trust my choice? I know what's best for me. And believe me, Yuuri isn't an emotion driven man, he's so intelligent and mature, he also knows what's best for him."

Sighing in defeat, it's clear there's no more room for argument, not because Dimitri is convinced by Victor's logic and his wild love story, but because he has no energy left to insist on his opinion, which is this relationship isn't too promising. However, it's time to leave the choice for Victor after he has proven himself and showed much maturity his father never thought he would possesses. To be honest at a point, Victor was a lost case to his father, especially after the publication of the infamous photos of him and the same man he's defending now, right then he knew his son hit the bottom and saving for him. But after almost losing his life to depression and working so hard to save himself, he has a blind faith now in him, and he has to trust his choice. 

"Well I guess no more can be said, I just wish you hapinees, and I hope you don't get hurt again, Vitya." 

A smile of relief spreads across Victor's face. But his relief doesn't last when his father's expression hardens again, about to scold him fir something, Victor senses. 

"That's your love life and you to your choice but what the hell are you thinking by bringing your lover over here to work, are you planning for some sick office fantasies?" 

Laughing sheepishly, Victor's eyes gleam weirdly. It's a little scary that his father thinks he might just planted the idea into his mind. "You totally caught us, oh no. But seriously papa if we get him here we're winning. From an objective standpoint Yuuri is actually overqualified for any job below a business founder it a CEO. And we can gain a lot by letting him work for us, he can help our company expand beyond Europe with his experience and connections, he's definitely farsighted and innovative, trust me. He wasn't a CEO at twenty five for nothing, driving a new branch of the family business under to top success in a whole different country under five years. He's a genius papa, and it's our loss if we don't hire him." 

Maybe that shut him up for a while, the more he thinks about the more appealing it becomes. But still he shakes his head in outrage. "And how will it look like when I hire my son's foreign boyfriend in such high position? Are you out of your mind?"

Victor rolls his eyes in nonchalance, deciding on a different tactic. "Fine whatever, if you care that much about the "image" more than the actual benefit we will get if we hire Yuuri. Not only a business genius, but also a guaranteed loyal trustworthy person, because he'll care to protect the future heir and his company, with also a debatable salary because no way he'll ask for too much, unlike anyone else taking the job..." 

Victor stands up, buttoning his suit jacket in laughable arrogance. "It's not like Yuuri won't land any job he wants anyway." He almost sticks his tongue out to him as he turns his back to leave.

"Wait." Sweet Victor.

He turns to him with an evil smirk. "Something papa?" 

It's not typical for him to surrender too easily. But arguing with Victor is energy consuming, and it drains him away, Dimitri isn't the most emotional person, but honestly Victor is just too endearing and maybe he makes him a little softer, even at this age. And he's not gonna lie, the offer is tempting, and Katsuki is really something. 

"But what people would say?" A weak come back.

"People always talk but shut up eventually, when they see how great Yuuri is." Time to alter tactic, for emotional confusion. Victor, an expert of puppy eyes even they don't work on him, resorts to them anyway. "Please papa, give Yuuri this job, I don't want him to waste time searching, and a man's gotta earn his living. Please, papa, we've gota child to feed."

"A child?" He exclaims a little too loudly.

"Makkachin!" 

"Understandable." Dimitri rubs his eyes from the exhaustion, power levels too low. "Fine, I'll have an interview with him first, a private one." 

With the brightest heartiest smile, Victor bounces. "Yay! I'll go get him now."

"Wait, get him from where?"

"Oh he's been waiting outside for a while now. I brought him today, just in case..." Victor technically runs out of the room, leaving his father stunned and amazed. 

On the other side of the room, Yuuri is sitting almost biting his nonexistent fingernails, anticipating the call. He jumps on his feet when Victor appears from the room with an optimistic smile, it calms his racing heart a little. 

Victor takes both his hands, breaking the news to him in excitement. "I told him and he's basically agreed. But he needs to interview first or something, so good luck baby meeting your in-law." 

"I'm so nervous..."

Victor cups his face, one...two..three encouraging kisses on his mouth for empowerment. "Don't worry baby, you'll kill it. He has no reason to reject you."

"I have never done job interview... I trained in the HR department for six months and I saw other people doing it, that shit is scary as hell."

"No it isn't, you'll do just fine. It's not even a real interview anyway, it's an obligatory procedure to scare you or something. But I know you already got the job."

Yuuri takes a deep breathe, nodding firmly, he takes another energizing kiss from Victor and walks to the office door. Meanwhile Victor notices the receptionist eyeing him curiously. Victor crosses his arms smiling proudly, "He's my boyfriend by the way." Too proud to share this knowledge.

Back to the war of nerves that is going between Mr Katsuki and Mr Nikiforov, a challenge to be won, over what? No one really knows. But under the intense judging gaze of Mr Nikiforov, notably as handsome as Victor in an older version, Yuuri realizes he has no reason to be nervous about a job interview, Yuuri who single-handedly ran a multi-million company and hundreds of employees worked under his management, who closed deals and executed projects added significant profits to the family business, no reason to be any less confident. Therefore he doesn't flinch or awkwardly stutter when he's talking about her s experience, in accented fluent Russian, Mr Nikiforov is impressed. Yeah, Yuuri is a professional and no fear to face Mr Nikiforov as an employer. 

However, he has every reason to worry to face Mr Nikiforov as the father of his boyfriend, because Victor is literally the first boyfriend he's ever got, this is something new to him, nerve wrecking. And the conversation now seems to take that turn. 

"Yuuri, I admit that I'm impressed, but let me ask you this straight, is it really worthy? To give up all this for... Victor? I mean as his father I say that's flattering but as a man of business I think, no offence, you're a huge idiot." 

Surely he saw it coming, and he's expecting to get it a lot, because of course who in their right mind would lose their job and money and family for something trivial like love? Well, that's him, he's a certified idiot, and everyone can call him that so maybe they'll feel better about themselves, but at least he's happy, can they say the same about their lives? 

"Yes. It's worthy, Victor deserves this, I deserve this. I don't think it's the wrong decision. I grew up with a whole future planned for me for the benefit of someone else that isn't really me, it doesn't really make sense. And I want to live my own life as I like to be, like when I'm on my death bed I want to look back and nod in satisfaction, yes that was exactly the life I had wanted. Listen, I'm not some free spirited romantic who woke up in the morning and decides to rebel his entire life, just want to have a simple life with Victor."

Feeling fulfilled, Yuuri smiles pleasantly, hopefully Nikiforov senior will understand. Although the confusion on his face isn't very promising, but Yuuri tried. 

"I can't deny that's touching, but I still think you're an idiot, and I'm not sure I want my son with an idiot person." This feels like a bucket of ice cold water dumped over Yuuri's head. Dimitri, pleased with his reaction, adjusts in his seat, taking a little more authoritative position. "So maybe you can convince me to like you, by telling me what exactly do you like about Victor."

"Ex...excuse me?" 

"I never praise or compliment my son enough, but that doesn't mean I'm not aware of how charming he can be. Victor is young, handsome, fun, and it's uncomfortable to say this, but I'm sure he's fun as well in bed, these have been reasons for people to chase after him, women and men alike, and your history together isn't exactly..."

"Oh I get it, I get it. Of course you have your doubts, it's not the first time for someone to reduce my love for Victor to a mere physical attraction, ridiculing our relationship to something this shallow. But I understand why we're not taken seriously, no one knows what we've been through to reach this stage, much hurt and insecurities and mistakes. I can see why would you think it's just an infatuation, Victor is eye-catching, he's beautiful, sexy, funny, kind and endearing, it's so easy to fall in love with him. But I love him for none of these reasons. Victor saw me for the first time and immediately he could point out my melancholy, my misery, he made me feel. I love him for being just Victor, with his perfections and imperfection. When I look at him, I don't think oh he looks gorgeous today, instead, I think oh he's the one I'm growing old with, die happily with."

He can see the father's face softer now, deep in thought. "Yuuri, you're too fixated on the idea of...death? This is a little depressing if I may say."

"I think you're right, it's depressing. But I think the real shift in my life was the day when I realized that when I die, no one will cry for me but Victor. I mean death is the end, the resolution, it's when everything comes to clearance, all the questions you've been asking for your life are answered. Am I loved? Does anyone care for me? Victor loves me and cares for me."

"I think now I'm just speechless." For the first time Yuuri finally sees him smile. "Congratulations I guess..."

"For?"

Dimitri scratches his head in uncertainty, shrugging, "For Victor and the job."

And now Yuuri feels like a winner with his face split in halves smiling as widely as he can. He excitedly stands on his feet reaching to shake his hand. "Thank you sir, I'm glad you're giving me a chance, I won't disappoint you as a manger neither as a in-law!"

"In...in-law?!" By the time Dimitri repeats in shock, Yuuri has already walked to the office door, dancing his way out and high on happiness. 

Expectantly he finds Victor just in front of the door, eyes wide. "I hate these stupid soundproof doors, couldn't hear anything. What happened?"

Yuuri closes the door behind him, taking Victor's waist in his hands, beaming in joy. "He said congratulations for the job and Victor!" 

"Oh my god Yuuri!" Victor throws himself in Yuuri's arms, tightly hugging him like it's the last hug in the world, not much attention paid to coworkers around them, too happy to care.

Another obstacle down. 

*********

Twenty pairs of eyes are staring at him intensely, their gazes piercing through his bodies like bullet shots, they're trying to breach his mind, a desperate attempt to understand his motives. They're wondering what went wrong? You were our best, the smartest, the wisest, the most dependable we can trust. How can you tear down your world with your own hands and expect us to accept it? You're clearly going through a phase, maybe too exhausted to continue working? You should take a long vacation to retreat for a little while and retrieve your drive. Do you want some modifications in your contract? Do you wish for salary increase? Work conditions improvement? We're close to begging, what the hell is wrong with you Katsuki Yuuri? 

Everyone in the meeting is judging him, no one will ever understand, an they can't just leave him alone. But the biggest man in the session is already silent the whole time, no will to try change his mind, because it's already decided, that Katsuki Yuuri is no longer part of their kingdom, he's pronounced and exiled, no way back to them. The Katsukis, like any major corporation, have been through financial crises, going almost broke, great losses and failures, but they can all agree that their greatest loss is the loss of Katsuki Yuuri, one of their brightest most faithful members, he was. 

Some of the presence are openly despising him, no effort to conceal their disgust with his actions, especially with the knowledge of his shameful affair. Others are genuinely disappointed, in a sort of denial like state that Yuuri is quitting, including his mother and surprisingly, his dear sister Mari, albeit she's the biggest winner out of this situation. A mixture of plain hatred and confusion and sympathy from the board members. No one is siding his decision but no one can stop him, although few ones openly hinted at his mental instability, and even suggested some psychiatric therapy because no one in their right mind does what he's just done. For his father, he doesn't spare him a look of distaste, resentment, or even disappointment, he's doing his best acting like he no longer existed.

Yuuri can't wait to get out of this suffocating place, he feels an oxygen depletion, struggling to regulate his breathing, as if they're sucking the air out of his lungs as a form of punishment. When will this be over? 

After what seems like forever, Yuuri's resignation is accepted, and with the announcement, Yuuri feels every last one of his chains breaking. He does his best to suppress his smile, but it keeps creeping up his face against his will that people are seriously questioning his mental stability. So he takes advantage of the accusation and he just smiles. For almost the first time in his life, a carefree unworried smile. 

With the last bow of apology bending his body in half, Yuuri leaves the meeting room, in urgent steps, with a delusional fear that he might get pulled back in there. Yuuri hears footsteps following him, he slows his pace and looks behind. It's his mother following him. Maybe of all his family, his mother hasn't been that cold to him, she did her best as a mother, she was busy most of her time, but her look to him was always soft, loving, radiating a little warmth. And this look isn't changing now even after his unforgivable mistake. 

"Mother..." He calls for her, bowing down in respect. 

"Yuuri," She holds out her hand to him, he takes it in hurry. "I'm not questioning your decision, I know it's really hard, but in fact, I support you."

Yuuri gapes at her in utter disbelief. "Really? You...you're not mad at me too?"

"What would I want more for my own son than to be happy? Am I disappointed? Yes, I can't deny. But I'm also proud that you followed your heart and you decided to confront all the hardships standing in the way of your happiness, it takes much courage and bravery to go after what you truly want. I don't know what's the fate of our relationship, I doubt your father to ever change his mind about forgiving you, but I won't cut off our contact, Yuuri."

"Mother, that's so...great." Yuuri takes her hand to his mouth, planting a grateful kiss over it. It's wonderful to not lost his entire family,, especially the dearest of them, his mother. To be honest, Yuuri is hopeful that someday he will earn absolution, they will understand and forgive him. Even if he accepted living like an unwanted outcast to them, it will be nice of he isn't completely orphaned, if he isn't considered dead to them in his life. And with his mother's blessing, everything is much easier now, more bearable. "Thank you so much, mother."

She gently pats his shoulder, drawing her face in a warm smile. "Are you happy with your lover?" 

Yuuri blushes at the mention of his lover, he nods in confirmation."The happiest I've ever been. We're living together and working together, everything is perfect mother. I could never imagine it was possible to be that happy, but here I'm now, the living proof."

"I'm so glad to know that. I have to get back now, we'll call later." 

"Of course."

Yuuri watches as she retreats back to the room, then he proceeds to leave, almost paying his farewells to the place he hated the most, but there's a sudden sense of longing hits him, although his usual workplace wasn't the Tokyo headquarters, he still started here, and maybe he'll miss it a little bit, just a little.

However, Yuuri finally exits the headquarters with no regrets, wanting to throw at it one of Phichit's memes like "okay bye, lol". walking down the extended set of stairs at the entrance, Yuuri notices the figure leaning on his hired car, with every step down nearer, Victor's features becomes clearer. He's leaning for support to the car parked at the company entrance although it's prohibited but Yuuri doesn't give any fucks today, Victor is hugging himself with one arm, the other hand is settled near his face, biting his worries down his fingernails obviously, still hasn't noticed Yuuri back yet. 

Looking up from his distractions, Victor finally sees him, jumping in fight or flight mode. Yuuri casually descends the stairs, opening his arms, a gesture as "here I am", grinning in pride to him. But Victor is still adorably worried. He asks loudly, "So?"

"It's over baby boy, over!" Yuuri calls even louder, emphasizing on over, drawing few looks to him. And Victor covers his mouth with a loud gasp. When Yuuri reaches to him, he doesn't shy away from giving Victor the most obscene kiss he could manage. In Japan it's not common to be overly affectionate in public, but that's exactly what he's aiming for. Public display of affection, in front of the very company that Yuuri spent years working for, that his entire family work at. Yuuri is kissing Victor openly with the high probability of being seen by everyone who has known and respected Yuuri for too long. And it feels goddamn amazing!

Victor draws back from the kiss, panting and breathless, lips kissed swollen and face flushed to his neck, and his vibrant blue eyes are glimmering with all the lights in the world, brighter than the sun. And for the first time Yuuri almost catches Victor scandalized, he looks just delicious. "Oh my God Yuuri! You're kissing me here, of all the places?" 

Yuuri cups his face and adds more licking kisses all over his face. "Why not? Wasn't this your dream? To kiss in the public where people who know me can pass by us, oh look at him. Good day Mr Haruma, great to see you." He waves sarcastically at an old man giving him an odd look.

Victor laughs in excitement, wrapping his arms around Yuuri's neck. "Yuuri! You're so crazy, I love you." 

"You just drive me crazier and crazier."

"Yuuri... Kiss me again." 

He happily kisses him again and again and again, each time gaining more attention. 

"Now what?"

"Now we go eat Katsudon from my favorite restaurant, and have a nice tour in Tokyo, I believe this is even the first time to go out in Tokyo for fun!"

"Yuuri, for the last time I'm asking this, are you sure of what you're doing? I don't want you to look back someday and think how you stupidly ruined your life."

"It's kind of late to change my mind."

"Yuuri!" Victor whined cutely, making Yuuri give him q laughing kiss.

"My love, I spent more time than you can imagine fantasizing about living openly with you, I would like to experience it for real now."

"Yuuri!" This time it's a different voice calling him, Victor's face is alarmed when he looks at the source, and Yuuri looks over his shoulder to his caller. It's Mari mid stairs, descending down to him. Yuuri turns and goes over to her. They stand on two steps, she above him. 

"Congratulations Mari, now I'm out of your way and you earned it."

It's a rare sight to spot a human emotion on Mari's face, how to describe her expression? Troubled? Remorseful? Ashamed?

"I never thought it would end like this, I still can't believe you did this!" 

Yuuri chuckles humorlessly, shaking his head. "Maybe if you had waited a little instead of throwing me under the bus, it would have been easier. You didn't need to hire a stalker to watch my moves and dig for dirt on me, I had already planned to get out of the company by then. But guess you weren't patient enough."

"I... I didn't want to...to end your career Yuuri, I was trying to protect you and your life. I thought you were being used for your money and statues, I thought..."

"You were wrong." 

Mari doesn't bear looking in his eyes for too look, so instead her eyes drop to her own shoes. "Do you... Do you hate me now?" 

Yuuri has never felt adequate love from his family, but he's always wondered if he hated them, the answer has always been no. Looking at Victor who was standing in alarm and anticipation, his beautiful face is distorted with worry and fear. Mari raises her eyes again, facing him. Then Yuuri shakes his head.

"My heart is to filled with love that it can't hold any grudge anymore, Mari." 

He can tell she's surprised by his tolerant answer, the harm she caused was huge, she was the last straw that broke him and Victor off. But of Yuuri goes back in time, he doesn't think he'll change anything, because all the wrong turns and lost roads they took have lead them to this moment, and this moment is just as perfect as it it could get. 

"I really hope you can find the love I found someday." 

"Well... That's it? What are you going to do now?" 

Yuuri shrugs, unsure. "Take my boyfriend on a date, show him around Tokyo while holding hands and acting lovey dovey with each other... Buying gifts and sovunirs, trying street food...? Yuuri murmurs his plans more to himself, getting overly excited and impatient with each word, a dumb smile spreading across his face. 

"I mean what are you going to do with your life?"

"Live it!" Yuuri answers joyly and vaguely as he turns to run back to Victor, never bothering to look back at Mari. 

"What happened with Mari?" Victor asks in anticipation, hopeful for a peaceful answer, but Yuuri is busy admiring him, his otherworldly magnificent lover, cheeks and nose blushed from the coldness, eyes more pure than the ocean, hair dancing freely with the wind.

In confusion, Victor watches Yuuri remove the rings from his own finger and Victor's, nestling both in his hands. Yuuri's breathing quickens, feeling well the blood rushing to his face.

"I wanted to make this more romantic and more memorable, with new sets of rings but..." Victor is still confused as Yuuri slips the ring back to his finger. "I have no patience for this. Victor Nikiforov, will you marry me please?" 

"Shut the fuck up Katsuki Yuuri, of course yes!" Victor almost screams, he crushes Yuuri between his strong loving arms, already crying rivers. "I hate you so much for tricking me like this! I was waiting for the proposal but not like this!" 

"Let's get married now! I seriously can't wait!"

"Shut up Katsuki, are you sabotaging me my well deserved royal wedding? Also isn't it a bit early? I don't want us to rush..."

"Early? Early?! I literally spent a year and half stalking you from afar, waiting for a chance to meet your highness again, after just one unfinished night, when you couldn't even bother to get me off, you slept on me fucking you Victor, I think I deserve an early wedding!" 

"Oh my god, Yuuri shut up. This is so embarrassing, I said I'm sorry, okay?! Also don't keep mentioning that you stalked me, it's creepy." 

"Say I was one who ghosted you, and totally forgot about you while I was drunk. What would have you done?"

"Obviously, the same as you did, searching for you and where you live. Except instead of waiting passively like you, I would have taken the first plane to New York and showed up at your place, sexy and beautiful as I'm, I wouldn't have had a problem seducing you again and crashing at your place."

"Now I'm going to cry! I deserve to get married now..."

********

They get married a year later on a bright white night in May, in the most elegant wedding Victor could dream of. With many people invited, none of the Katsukis attend the wedding, although his mother was tolerant and brave enough to call and congratulate Yuuri, she wished to attend, but Yuuri is supposed to be nonexistent in the eye of the family. It leaves him bitter, but he doesn't let it spoil his joy, today is the happiest day in his life.

Victor insists on giving a speech, Phichit cheers for him to "spill the tea". He's still maintaining a good friendship with Yuuri along Yuri and Otabek who are also here. 

"For your information, this is the second time for Yuuri to get married." Victor starts, a little tipsy with the wedding champagne and very delighted. Yuuri is getting ready dig his own grave. "I crashed his wedding and won him back after we had ended it by the way." His proud confession is met with an excited applause, Yuuri covers his face with his hands.

"Anyway, I have an observation I would like to share. Today I can say I'm proud of myself, I'm a better person. I'm still trying to get better, to learn more and to be someone valuable. I've noticed the two important men in my life had this good influence on me, and it struck me, how much they resemble each other, they're very alike in the most unexpected ways." Victor throws a look at his grinning husband, and his restrained father, who's also happy, but restrained.

"They're both very handsome, one of them looks very much like me, so of course he's handsome. The other is just my type, of course he's handsome." Laughter echos in the air.

"They're both businessmen, accomplished, hardworking, ambitious. They both drove me to be like them, to work hard and establish myself." Victor nods at both of them, receiving back a nod for his father, and a shy smile from Yuuri.

"They both love me and care for me." He blows them kisses. 

"And they're both my daddies!" It goes down from here, Dimitri coughs, Yuuri is dying in mortification, everyone is laughing, Phichit is shoving his phone up Victor's face repeating "You're doing amazing sweetie."

"Like that's my literal dad, and this's my sugar daddy..."

Dimitri gestures to Yuuri to go and get him before its too late. 

Victor clutches his mic tighter as Yuuri gets closer to him. "Point is, they're both amazing men, I love them so much. I love mama also, you're pretty tonight. Any way, I love you papa, my dad but not in a weird way. And I love you Yuuri, my daddy in the weirdest kinkiest ways!"

Yuuri pulls the mic away from him, but Victor doesn't bother as he captures Yuuri in filthy kiss, Yuuri laughs into his mouth, returning the kiss steamier and more passionate. 

"You're absolutely mental, I love you so much!" 

"I love you more Yuuri. Dance with me daddy!"

Needless to say, they dance the whole night reliving their first night together, this time they're getting it right. There's a honeymoon in Barcelona waiting for them, there's a whole life ahead of them. Yuuri and Victor have the best arrangement for a sugar daddy/baby. 

The end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's over. Me? Writing a 100k angst? 
> 
> I really really hope you enjoyed, thank you so much for reading. I know I'm not the best writer ever, I feel really bad for being unable to express the story in a better language and better writing style. I know how reading the same words over and over is boring, I know my writing skills are poor, yet many are still reading and showing me great support and encouragement. 
> 
> This story makes me feel accomplished, I put much of my own self indulgent pleasures in it. If you enjoyed it I'm really blessed. 
> 
> How was it? Was the ending satisfying? Did I mess up something? I hope not.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. See you next level!


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